


Here We Go Again

by BlurglesmurfKlaine



Series: There From The Start [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: (wasnt gonna add that one till later, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, Comedy, Depression, Established Relationship, FootballPlayer!Blaine, High School, M/M, Reconciliation, Season/Series 02, Sequel, There From the Start, blainey is a sad boi, but like, but we all know where this is going lbr here), discussions of mental health, everything will be okay, kurtbastian midgame bc im a glutton for pain, like these -->, more tags to come as i post bc spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 136,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/pseuds/BlurglesmurfKlaine
Summary: After an eventful Sophomore year with the New Directions, Blaine Anderson is looking forward to a drama free Junior year that includes winning the football conference, making it to Nationals, and spending time with his boyfriend, Kurt Hummel. Needless to say, things don't quite go as planned.Sequel to There From The Start, a canon divergent story where Blaine is the 12th original member of the New Directions in Season 1
Relationships: Blaine Anderson & Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson & Quinn Fabray, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: There From The Start [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1465636
Comments: 242
Kudos: 155





	1. Audition

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If you read There From The Start, you know that I focused in on one episode per chapter. I thought about doing that for this story, but ultimately decided against it because I forced myself to do it on the last story and I feel one chapter that I should have condensed into another one really suffered for it. So just know that some chapters may be treated a little differently—I might condense two episodes into one chapter, some episodes will still get a chapter but will be very short, or I might omit some episodes all together (Comeback comes to mind...) i’m really not entirely sure yet. In any case, this story will probably be shorter than the first one, but I still have some pretty cool ideas for it!
> 
> If you DIDN'T read There From The Start... good for you honestly lol jk—I’ll try and include things from the first part to give some background information you might be missing, but you should be able to read through this without having to read the first one if you don’t want to (though I recommend it lol but I’m biased)
> 
> I know I updated part 1 of this series pretty frequently, but that was summer. I was younger then, full of life. Now, I'll be posting every Friday!
> 
> EDIT: (i forgot to do this earlier omg i'm the worst) A huuuuuuuge thank you to my Beta Adri! I am not exaggerating when I say this story wouldn't be what it is without her. Glee was wild, ig, fic is litt!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

**_So here’s what you missed last season on Glee._ **

**_Blaine joined the glee club, almost quit the glee club to be in football, kissed Kurt, fought with Kurt, made up with Kurt, made_ ** **out** **_with Kurt, kinda got closure on his estranged dad coming back into his life, got a black eye and almost transferred to Carmel... So he had an eventful year._ **

**_Quinn had a baby, Finn and Rachel are in love and more importantly so are Kurt and Blaine._ **

**_Sue’s going easy on Will and even though the Glee club worked really hard to get to Regionals they didn’t win. But, it’s okay to not win an award, particularly when you had so much fun getting there right?_ **

**_Right?_ **

_“We didn’t even place.”_

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

Blaine thought back to a year ago. 

It was silly, but he couldn't even imagine that at this time his mom had threatened to dump a bucket of ice water on him if he didn't get up for school. 

His time at McKinley up till then hadn’t been bad per se, it was just… high school. He didn't have all that much to look forward to.

Oh, how lucky he was that had changed.

Now, he hopped out of bed with an enthusiasm that rivaled the energizer bunny’s. He quickly pulled his shirt on and shimmied into his overly-tight jeans before running to the bathroom and hastily—but carefully (he wasn’t a Barbarian)—applying some hair gel to his thick curls. 

Rushing down the stairs and past the kitchen, he quickly ran in and gave his mom a quick peck on the cheek before zooming right towards the door. “Bye mom, love you!” he yelled, earning a chuckle from his mother. 

When the school year had first started, Mary Anderson had been confused by her son’s eagerness to get to school. That is, until he explained to her that he was on his way to pick up his wonderful boyfriend, Kurt Hummel. 

Mary adored Kurt. He was polite, witty, and most importantly, made her son ridiculously happy. She had thought it was surely just the honeymoon phase at first, but six months into dating, Blaine was still smiling like an idiot every single time he got back from a visit with Kurt.

She was completely unfazed by his antics now. Without ever looking up from her newspaper, she called out to him, “Drive safe, love you too!” Before hearing the door shut behind him.

Blaine finally got to the Hummel household driveway and eagerly threw his car into park. He hopped out and bounced to the door, giving it three enthusiastic knocks.

It swung open to reveal none other than Burt Hummel who greeted him with a particularly grumbly, “You’re early.”

Blaine tried not to let his smile falter. But it was hard not to when he was convinced that his boyfriend’s father thought him the antichrist. 

When they’d broken the news to Burt last year, he had been supportive as usual, but admittedly not as enthusiastic as Blaine had hoped he’d be. Blaine really admired Burt Hummel—admired the effort he put into maintaining a strong relationship with his son, so he always tried to put his best foot forward whenever he was around.

It didn’t seem to be working so far. 

He stepped past the threshold into the house and headed towards his usual seat on the couch. “Thank you, Mr. Hummel.”

Burt would have corrected Blaine, but he had tried a dozen times over and it never seemed to stick, so he stopped trying for the most part.

He sat on the couch across from Blaine. It’s not that he didn’t like Blaine, he was a swell guy (who seemed to say all the wrong things at the wrong time). Burt just felt it was a bit too early for his son to have a boyfriend—maybe an entire year too early.

“So...” Blaine started tensely. “How are things at the tire shop?”

Burt nodded curtly. “Good. Have to go in early since Joe called in sick. Says it’s the flu, I say it’s a hangover.”

“Hangovers can be rough,” Blaine found himself saying, then immediately regretting. “Not that I drink,” he tried to backtrack then remembered when he first met Burt he had already admitted to drinking with Finn and Puck. Burt raised an eyebrow and Blaine knew he’d been caught in a lie. 

“That’s not what I remember from last year.”

Dammit. Just his luck—or lack of finesse, really. 

“Of course you remember that,” he muttered under his breath. 

Thankfully, Kurt came rushing down the stairs, outfit ironed to perfection and hair impeccably styled. He beamed at Blaine. “Ready?”

Blaine scrambled up from his seat and all but sprinted towards the door. “Oh dear god, please yes.”

* * *

Blaine was just leaving Physics when he turned the corner just in time to see Jacob Ben Israel harassing his boyfriend at the other end of the hall and shoving a microphone and a camera in Kurt’s face. His initial scowl curled up into a smile when he heard Kurt’s response.

“You know what, Jacob? It doesn’t take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers and log on to the Internet and start tearing people down, does it? But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here’s a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say _to my face!”_

Blaine was so enthralled by Kurt’s speech that he didn’t even notice Karofsky and Azimio behind Kurt. He was just as caught off guard as Kurt was when the slushy went flying into his alabaster face. 

“Welcome back, lady!”

Blaine’s stomach twisted in a combination of disgust and anger. He could kill those bastards for that. The idea of a tousle breaking out between them at football practice in retaliation crossed his mind before he remembered all the trouble the last fight he’d gotten into caused him. 

“I don’t suppose there’s any way you could just cut out that last part, is there?” Kurt asked, blinking red dye number six out of his eye.

Jacob shook his head slowly. “Mm-mm.”

Blaine walked up behind Jacob and tapped his shoulder. He had to restrain his eyes from rolling back into his skull when the frizzy haired boy turned around and yelped at just the sight of a letterman jacket.

The camera man turned on Blaine and Jacob shoved the mic in his face. “Blaine Anderson,” he started in his usual “reporter” voice, after he’d gained his composure. “How do you respond to rumors that you spent this summer in a halfway house for violent children due to your numerous attacks on one now alumnus Marcus Langanthal?”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to ask what the hell he meant by that, but Jacob just plowed right through his attempt to get a word in.

“And that even your own teammates are terrified of your notorious vicious outbursts?”

Wait, people were scared of _him?_ Blaine looked down at his Capri pants and boat shoes, wondering if his ensemble read as particularly threatening.

Of course, he would never hurt a fly (those fights he got into last year were only towards people who deserved it and practically just a political statement on his stance against bullying), but JBI didn’t know that. And if a little intimidation got him to leave his boyfriend alone, then so be it.

Blaine sighed, exasperated. “I’d respond to that by saying leave me and my boyfriend alone or else you’ll find out why everyone’s so afraid.”

Jacob nodded fearfully and sprinted away.

Kurt blinked and wiped some slushie out from under his eye. “My knight in shining armor,” he mumbled. “Or at least a worn out letterman.”

“Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” Blaine took Kurt’s hand in his and dragged him into the bathroom, leaning his head against the sink and running the water over his hair.

Kurt grimaced. “My hair is going to be ruined.”

Blaine just smiled, running his hand through his boyfriend’s hair. “You still look perfect.”

He just gave a happy little hum in response. He might’ve just gotten slushied, but at least he had Blaine there to help him clean up. And he always would. 

The past year had been... rough, to say the least. Blaine had fallen for Kurt pretty hard as soon as they’d met, but they hadn’t gotten together (officially) until about a week before regionals. Blaine certainly had his fair share of blips—his estranged father coming back into town, getting into fights with other football players, the whole Glist thing, nearly transferring to Vocal Adrenaline—all which contributed to keeping he and Kurt apart for so long.

This year, however, he was very much looking forward to a drama free year that included heading off to Nationals with eleven of his best friends. 

Additionally, despite having a grade point average of nearly zero, Langanthal had amazingly been allowed to graduate, which meant there was one less homophobic bully to deal with. Perhaps Karofsky and Azimio would even back off a little without their ringleader, though Kurt’s red tinted hair indicated otherwise.

“I’m getting flashbacks to last year—Mash Up assignment.” Kurt started, bringing Blaine back to himself. “When you took that slushie for me?”

“And you cleaned me up... how the tables have turned.” Blaine smiled at the memory and dabbed the last of the ice particles off of Kurt’s face. “There, all done.”

“Thank you.” Kurt stood up and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist, giving him a quick peck on the mouth. “Well, we certainly had an eventful sophomore year.”

“Speaking of which...” Blaine reached down into his bag and pulled out a small box. “I actually got you something... For the anniversary of the day we met.”

Kurt cocked his head to the side. “We didn’t meet until glee club was into its second week.” It took a moment, but he finally understood. “Wait a second, do you consider you chasing me after I got sent dumpster diving our first meeting?”

“Yeah,” he drawled out the word carefully. “Why? What do you consider our first meeting?”

Kurt threw his head back in laughter. “When we ran into each other in the hallway.”

“I guess you could say we kept _running_ into each other.” Kurt knew that if Finn were here, he’d chime in with a comical ba-dum tss on his drum set.

“Alright, I’m breaking up with you, just for that.”

“No you’re not,” Blaine said through a smile. He carefully placed the box in Kurt’s hand. “Open it,” he prompted. 

Kurt complied, opening it to reveal a small origami ring. Blaine smiled when he saw Kurt’s eyes shine with adoration. “It’s got a bow tie on it,” he explained, pointing out the feature. “Because if I do recall, you made it a point to call out my fashion sense that week Mercedes had a crush on you... it was also the week you came out to me, and, I feel, the real start of our friendship.”

“I-I—didn’t get you anything,” Kurt admitted, slightly disappointed in himself. 

Blaine just shrugged. “That’s okay,” he laughed a bit. “We did have different perceptions of our first meeting.”

“Alright,” Kurt started, snapping his head up towards Blaine. “We have to agree on our anniversary date because one: I don’t want another repeat of the first time we had dinner with my dad—“ Blaine cringed at the awkward memory. “And two: I am very competitive, and I will absolutely not be shown up like this again.” Kurt closed in on Blaine, ridiculously bright smile on his face.

“Uh-huh,” Blaine teased back, equally ridiculous smile plastered on his countenance. “Cause I know what that does to you, when I win.”

“Oh, shut up,” is all Kurt said before grabbing the front of Blaine’s letterman and pressing their lips together. Even after nearly six months together, every kiss still made Kurt as giddy as their first.

Blaine suddenly pulled away. “Wait, if we’re going for an official date, we can agree on funk week right? Cheerleader?”

Kurt nodded hastily before pulling Blaine back in. “Definitely funk week, definitely Cheerleader.”

“As much as I would love to stay here for another thirty minutes to six hours with you,” Kurt eventually added, interrupting them. “We have glee club.” Blaine groaned and looked up at him with wide and pleading eyes. Kurt shook his head. “Nope, you’ve used the puppy-dog eyes on me too often, I’ve grown immune.”

“Alright,” Blaine caved. He suddenly paused, holding Kurt in his arms, and stared at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“What?” Kurt inquired.

“I just... really love you.”

Kurt couldn’t keep the smile from growing wider past what he thought possible. “I love you, too. Come on,” he pulled on Blaine’s hand and led him out the door. “Let's get to rehearsal.”

* * *

“These are comments from Jacob Ben-Israel’s most recent Glee Club blog. _Glee is a giant ball of suck_ ,” said Mr. Shue.

Blaine leaned over and whispered to Kurt, “We should’ve stayed in the bathroom.”

He stifled a laugh and playfully smacked him across the chest before responding to his director. “We get it, Mr. Shue. Everyone still hates us. So what? So we’re plankton on the high school food chain. The only difference now is that none of us really care.”

“Kurt’s right.” Mercedes added. “We’re a family. They can bring it all they want. None of it is going to break us.”

“Okay, I’m really happy that you guys have all bonded. The problem is that all of this negative stuff is keeping other students from auditioning.”

“Good. Why do we need new members?” Tina asked.

“Well, if we want to go to Nationals, if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound.”

Rachel stood up and went to the front of the room. “Yeah, Mr. Schuester’s right, you guys. You didn’t see Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals. They were epic. We’re going to need more voices in order to beat them.”

Finn got up and joined her. “Yeah. I’m with Rachel on this one.”

“Gross.” Brittany mumbled.

“You’re going to have to trust me on this, guys. Now, here’s the plan. Nationals are in New York this year, and we are going. Now let’s go out there and show the school how cool it’s going to be, how cool we can be. If they’re not going to come to us, let’s go to them. They say we only sing show tunes and '80s pop. Let’s show them how down we are. Let’s give them the song of the year, New Directions style!”

* * *

Kurt pulled on the front of Blaine’s letterman tightly, as if that could possibly bring them any closer together. They were already lying on top of each other, kissing furiously, legs slotted together as Blaine’s hands roamed over Kurt’s body blindly.

“I can’t believe I’ve never gotten to make out with you in this letterman,” Kurt said, pressing his lips to Blaine’s neck.

Blaine took in a sharp breath before replying. “Football season was over by the time we had our first kiss.”

“I like it. You should wear it more often,” Kurt said in between lightly scraping his teeth against his boyfriend’s neck.

“That’s a suggestion I’ll have to take you up on if I get a reaction like this from you.” Blaine said breathlessly.

“If I remember correctly, even you weren’t immune to the power of a Cheerios uniform.”

Blaine rolled his eyes back into oblivion, partially in response to Kurt’s body pressed tightly against his, and partly to tease back at his boyfriend. His teasing attitude was interrupted by Kurt lifting his hips up against Blaine’s, earning a startled gasp from the curly haired boy.

Kurt smirked, obviously reveling in the hold he had on his boyfriend a little too much.

Blaine caught his shit eating grin and let out a huff. “Alright,” he exhaled, rolling off of Kurt, much to the other boy’s dismay. “Cool off time. That’s your punishment for being such a little shit during makeout time.”

“I was just teasing you!” Kurt chuckled. He turned to face Blaine, drinking in the image of him with messy hair and a flushed face.

“Yeah, that’s part of the problem.” Blaine barked out a laugh.

“Who’s being a little shit now?”

Kurt caught a playful glint flash across Blaine’s eyes when he said, “Me? Never, I take our scheduled make out sessions _very_ seriously,” before he all but leapt across the bed, pinning Kurt down with a laugh and kicking their school bags off the bed in the process. They hit the ground with a startlingly loud thud. 

“Blaine!” Kurt giggle shouted. “Quiet, or my dad will hear us!” Blaine pulled away and pursed his lips at Kurt, who in response threw his head back against the bed and groaned. “What is it this time?”

“Aside from the fact that your dad hates me?”

“He doesn't… _hate_ you,” Kurt defended, reaching up to press his lips to Blaine’s.

Blaine pulled away before Kurt could get to him (much to his frustration) and gave him a disbelieving look. “You sound very convinced.”

“It’s just hard to commit to arguing in your favor when I’d much rather have your tongue down my thr—“

They were suddenly interrupted by the door swinging wide open to reveal Kurt’s dad standing there and glaring them down.

Blaine immediately scrambled off of Kurt and flew to the other side of the room, landing on Kurt’s computer chair. He reached up to settle down his hair quickly and brushed his pants down, hoping to hide the recently made grooves in his pants.

Burt glanced between his son and his son’s boyfriend intermittently, and they both knew that he knew exactly what had been happening a mere seconds before. “Door stays open,” he finally grumbled, leaving the door ajar before trudging away.

As soon as he’s gone Blaine looked at Kurt, eyebrows raised as if to say _I told you so_.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

The only response he got was another dubious glare from Blaine.

* * *

“So, Sam, tell us about yourself,” Blaine started.

A blonde haired boy with an unusually large mouth stood at the front of the choir room, hands in his pocket. 

“My name’s Sam Evans,” he began. “I like comic books, sports. I’m dyslexic, so my grades aren’t that good, but… I’m working on it.”

“Dude, your mouth is huge,” Puck said in awe. “How many tennis balls can you fit in there?”

“I don’t… know. I’ve never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?”

“I think that’s a better question for Blaine,” Puck waggled his eyebrows at his old friend. 

Blaine just pointed a finger at him, pursing his lips. “Uncalled for.”

“I like this kid,” Finn nodded in approval.

“I like his confidence, but the Bieber cut’s gotta go,” Artie added.

Blaine hummed in agreement.

“So, can you sing with that big mouth?” Puck asked. 

“I’ve never really sung in front of anybody before,” he admitted.

“Well, give it a shot.” Finn started.

“We’ll back you up, I promise,” Blaine tacked on. “What song you got in your back pocket?”

“Um… Billionaire?”

Finn snapped his fingers and pointed to the band while the rest of the boys all jumped around excitedly.

Sam started playing the song on the guitar.

_**I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad  
Buy all of the things I never had  
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine  
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen** _

_**Oh every time I close my eyes  
I see my name in shining lights  
Yeah, a different city every night oh right  
I swear the world better prepare  
For when I'm a billionaire** _

Artie jumped in for the rap section.

 _**Yeah I would have a show like Oprah  
I would be the host of, everyday Christmas  
Give Travie a wish list  
I'd probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt  
** _ _**And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had it** _  
_**Give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this**_

Puck supplied extra bass guitar and Finn jumped in on the drum set.

 _**And last but not least grant somebody their last wish  
It's been a couple months that I've been single so  
You can call me Artie Claus minus the Ho Ho  
Get it, hehe, I'd probably visit where Katrina hit  
And damn sure do a lot more than FEMA did  
** _ _**Yeah can't forget about me stupid** _  
_**Everywhere I go Imma have my own theme music**_

Finally, Blaine jumped in with the backing vocals and they all jammed together in harmony.

_**Oh every time I close my eyes  
I see my name in shining lights  
A different city every night oh right  
I swear the world better prepare** _

_**For when I'm a billionaire  
Oh ooh oh ooh for when I'm a billionaire  
Oh ooh oh ooh for when I'm a billionaire** _

_**I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad** _

“That-that was really cool!” Sam admitted excitedly.

“Nice!” Blaine gave the new kid a hi-five. “So you think you can come back and do that in front of everybody?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Blaine and Puck sat on a bench in the locker room, still reeling from the events right before practice.

The football team had a new coach, and she was making everybody try out for the team—even if they had already been on the team the previous year.

Things escalated from there when Finn rolled Artie in and asked for a chance to try out. Coach Beiste had gotten quite upset and sent them both packing.

Blaine shook his head. “I can’t believe she really kicked him off the team.”

“I know,” Puck started. “I mean we haven’t even really talked all that much—“

“You _did_ get his girlfriend pregnant.”

“—But he’s our quarterback. For the past two years it’s been the three of us. What are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine admitted. “It’s so weird not having him in the locker room next to us.”

“This is depressing as hell, I’m changing the subject,” Puck said bluntly. “How was your summer?”

“Pretty good,” he piped up. “Sorry I couldn’t hang out all that much, I got a job performing at Six Flags. Figured I’d make some money that way I could take Kurt out on a date, someplace nice.”

Puck shrugged. “It’s cool, I was busy cleaning pools all summer so I could get a vasectomy, anyways. Not making that mistake again.”

“You got a _vasectomy?_ _”_ Blaine shook his head in bewilderment. “You could’ve just used a condom, Puck.”

He tossed a sly grin in Blaine’s direction. “Speaking of condoms, how are things with you and Hummel?”

Blaine groaned and threw his head back. “Honestly, so fantastic...”

“But..?” Puck pried when he trailed off.

“But I’m convinced his dad hates me.”

Puck snorted. “Nobody could hate you, dude. Especially parents! I’m pretty sure when my mom met you she wanted to adopt you on the spot.”

“I just...” Blaine sighed. “I feel like I’m constantly auditioning for the role of Dad Approved Boyfriend, and have yet to receive a callback.”

“Will you translate that into hetero-speak?”

“You were right about the parents thing,” he admitted. “Parents love me! And they should, my manners are impeccable. I’m a goddamn delight!” Blaine was nearly shouting in frustration. “But Mr. Hummel—“

“Burt,” Puck corrected. 

Blaine eyed him with confusion. “What?”

Puck just gave yet another shrug. “He likes to be called Burt. Mr. Hummel’s too formal for him. Everyone knows that.”

“Whatever.” Blaine waved a dismissive hand. “Kurt’s dad just... doesn’t seem willing to warm up to me yet.”

“Maybe that’s part of your problem, Blainers.”

“Don’t call me that. And what do you mean?”

“All his clients call him Burt, the guy watches Duck Dynasty religiously, eats a jelly filled donut every day, and has worn out the same Mellencamp record over and over again.”

Blaine narrowed his eyes at Puck, not quite sure what he was getting at.

The mohawked boy rolled his eyes. “What I’m saying is, Burt’s a simple guy. You’re not gonna impress him with your _impressionable_ _manners_ ,” he used finger quotes for emphasis.

“Impeccable,” Blaine corrected, a little irritated.

Puck barreled on with his point. “He doesn’t care that you wear boat shoes with no socks, or that you eat salad with a fork _and_ knife—I mean come on, we’ve all seen Hummel down nearly an entire cheesecake with his bare hands—and he doesn’t care that you’re probably the smartest guy in school. All that stuff might impress moms and a college board, but not Burt Hummel. You’ve got to find some common ground, find out what he likes, and most importantly, be yourself, not what you think he wants you to be.”

Blaine stared at his friend in awe. “Holy shit...” he muttered. “You’re right.”

How had his troublemaker friend come to this realization far before he had? Did he really have his head so far up his own ass that Noah Puckerman, of all people, figured out how to get Kurt’s dad on his side before he had? He really was clueless...

“Of course I am, now help me go steal some jerky from the vending machine.”

“Jesus Christ, Puck, _no_.”

* * *

When Blaine left the locker room, he turned the corner to see none other than Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez in what appeared to be an _ugly_ fight. 

“You have a surgery when you get your appendix taken out,” Quinn yelled. “You. Got. A _boob job!_ ”

“Yup, sure did!”

He flinched when Santana drew her arm back and sent her palm soaring into Quinn’s cheek with a sharp smack. 

“You can’t hit me!” 

“Oh, sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again, _slut_.”

He started racing down the hall towards the fighting Cheerios, but before he could get there, Quinn grabbed Santana by her uniform and shoved her against the lockers. Santana retaliated by latching her hand into a lock of Quinn’s golden hair and dragging them both down to the ground.

When Blaine finally got there, Quinn had been thrown across the floor and was charging towards Santana. Thankfully, Mr. Shue arrived on scene and blocked her path while Blaine followed suit, wrapping his arms around Quinn, dragging her away from the chaotic scene.

“Walk away! And tighten up your pony before you get to class!” she screamed after the Hispanic girl, who simply dusted off her skirt and nonchalantly headed to her next destination.

Blaine tightened his grip around Quinn.

The unlikely pair had become fast friends last year around Sectionals. Quinn had gotten kicked out of her house and Finn had just found out that Beth wasn’t his, so Blaine offered Cooper’s old room. At the time, he and Kurt were in the middle of a fight and his father had come back to town. His friendship with Quinn was really a turning point for him around that time. They both benefited from having someone to lean on when no one else could offer support.

This wasn’t the Quinn Fabray he knew.

“What the hell, Q!?” he asked as she writhed out of his grip, finally able to break free.

She spun around to face him. “Oh, like you haven’t had your fair share of fights, Blaine “Black Eye” Anderson.”

He took a step back and raised his eyebrows. “Alright,” he conceded, showing her his palms in defeat. “Fair enough.”

He saw her shoulders relax. “Sorry...” she exhaled. “Santana can just be _such_ a bitch sometimes. A-a-and last year was just filled with _so_ much drama that all I want to do this year is reclaim my spot on the Cheerios and bring home two national titles.”

He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “That’s understandable... But I’m about to be brutally honest with you—“ She braced herself for harsh words, but he only brought his fists up in front of his face, mimicking a boxer. “Your form was really sloppy.” He gave a couple of play jabs outward as she threw her head back, practically howling with laughter. 

He beamed at her. “Good! Now that you’re calm, I just want to make sure that you’re not...” he hesitated, not wanting to upset her. “Regressing. Because the Quinn Fabray from the beginning of Sophomore year and I weren’t really friends.” He took her hand. “You just made so much progress last year, I was so proud of you. I _am_ so proud of you. But I would be lying if I said seeing you in a Cheerios uniform again didn’t make me nervous.”

She nodded securely. “You’re right,” she agreed, smiling brightly at someone acknowledging the growth she fought so hard for. “I did learn a lot, and I don’t plan on going backwards. And I know I can count on you to keep me in check—and I’ll keep you in check, too! No more skirmishes for you.”

Blaine laughed heartily. “Good!” He waved her off. “I’ll see you at those glee club auditions later today. There’s this new kid, Sam, I think you’re going to like him.”

* * *

Blaine, Quinn, Mercedes, and Kurt all sat at a table at the Lima bean, licking their collective wounds from the disappointing turnout at glee auditions. Blaine was trying to keep his optimism up, despite the fact that not a single person had shown up, not even that Sam kid.

“I can’t believe that Sunshine girl bailed on us,” Kurt murmured.

“I can,” Quinn quipped. 

“Quinn,” Blaine chided, side eyeing her.

Mercedes nodded. “No, she’s right. What made us think that anything had changed from last year? We’re still exactly the same.”

Blaine shook his head in protest. “So much has changed from last year, ‘Cedes!”

“Really?” she asked. “Cause from where I’m standing, things don’t look too different. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, just something we’ll have to get used to.”

“I have to disagree. It’s a new year for the New Directions, and I think a lot of things are going to change for us.”

While Quinn and Mercedes gave doubtful and exasperated looks to him, Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hand and looked at him lovingly. “Ever the optimist, aren’t you?”

Blaine grinned back at him and pressed their foreheads together. “I have a lot to be optimistic about.”

As Mercedes took a sip of her drink, she waved them off. “Get that couple-y nonsense out of me and my latte’s face.”

Quinn nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s really insensitive to us single ladies.”

“How’s this for insensitive?” Kurt asked, before pulling Blaine in towards him by the back of his neck and pressing their lips together, Blaine humming happily.

“Oh, god, the horror!” Quinn gave a facetious grimace.

“You two are nauseatingly cute.”

They were interrupted by a sudden buzzing noise coming from his pocket. It was Blaine’s phone.

He dug his phone out and saw the Facebook notification. He opened the application and went to messages. With each passing line he read, his anger and shock grew.

 **New Message Request from:  
** **Sunshine Corazon:**

**Hey Blaine!**

**Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t bail on Glee Club auditions. I showed up to the address that kind of crazy girl with the bangs and long socks gave me and it was an abandoned building. I think it might’ve been a crackhouse.**

**Again, sorry I missed auditions. I would still really like to join, if you guys will still have me.**

**Thanks!**

**P.S. isn’t your mom’s maiden name Ocampo? If it is, I think we might share great grandparents on my dad’s side!**

“Hoooooooly shit, guys.” He flashed them the phone and his boyfriend and friends leaned forward, their eyes widening in shock as they read through the message. “I think Rachel sent my second cousin to a crackhouse.”

“Oh, hell to the no!” Mercedes shouted angrily.

Blaine instantly received two separate messages from Tina and Mike telling him to join them in telling Mr. Shue what had just happened. He hastily stood up and gave Kurt a quick peck on the cheek. “I have to go, urgent Asian Community Business.”

Kurt nodded understandingly, a signal for him to go ahead, and Blaine was out the door within seconds.

After a few moments of silence, Mercedes finally piped up. “So... was anybody gonna tell me that Blaine is Asian or was I just supposed to find out through this ass backwards Rachel Berry nonsense myself?”

Quinn and Kurt just slowly turned their heads to stare at her.

* * *

“Tell me this isn’t true, Rachel,” Will scolded.

Mike, Tina, Blaine, and Mr. Shue all stood in front of Rachel after Blaine had forwarded Sunshine’s message to everyone else in the New Directions.

“She could have died,” Tina added.

“I didn’t send her to an active crack house.” Rachel defended herself—as if that made it any better. “Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?

“The Asian community is very tight.” Blaine said.

“Wait a second, you’re Asian?” she asked incredulously. 

“What? Yes? My mom is Filipino.”

“I just don’t get it. You’re better than this,” Mr. Shue continued.

Blaine scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Not really,” he muttered. 

“She’s an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold on to her power,” Tina commented.

“I just… I…I love you guys so much. I was wrong before. I don’t want any new members. I didn’t want anyone coming in and-and messing up our group dynamic. Tina, Mike, I mean, what if Sunshine can dance? Then your contributions to Glee will be even more insignificant than they already are now. I did this for you guys.”

“Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel.”

* * *

Blaine stood in front of the Hummel Tires & Lube garage door and drew in a deep breath. He had taken Puck’s advice (and felt the need to emphasize the fact that was something he never thought he’d ever do... _ever_ ) and had stopped by a nearby bakery to pick up a baker’s dozen box of jelly filled donuts.

_Alright, Blaine. You’ve got this. Be yourself. Don’t screw it up._

He let out the breath he took in and walked into the garage to find Kurt’s dad hunched over the hood of a car, leering into the engine.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Hummel!” Blaine said cheerily, if a little too loudly.

Burt jolted in surprise, head hitting the top of the hood. He let out a hiss of pain and rubbed the spot as he turned to glare at the intruder in his garage.

_Alright. Failed step one._

Blaine grimaced, opening the box. “I brought you jelly filled centers.” 

Burt narrowed his eyes at the box as if they might have cyanide in them, and when the sting on the back of his head faded, pointed to a nearby table. “Thanks. You can set them down over there.”

Blaine nodded and complied.

As Burt was fiddling around with the car, he could feel Blaine’s gaze on his back. He suddenly swiveled around. “Did you need something, kid?”

“Yeah,” Blaine blurted clumsily. He scolded himself. No matter how nervous he was, he had to keep his composure. Kurt was the love of his life, and it was important that he have a good relationship with his dad. “I need you to know that your son means the world to me. And that I really, really love him.”

Burt knitted his eyebrows together. “You think I don’t know that?” he asked calmly.

Blaine gathered up all the courage he had to respond to the question as honestly as he could. “Based on our rocky relationship... no.” Burt raised his eyebrows at him, and Blaine’s stomach twisted. He could very easily be screwing this up, but doing nothing about it would be a hundred times worse. “Kurt is my everything, and the fact that you don’t like me very much just kind of kills me,” he admits. “I know I didn’t make the best first impression... or second—“ his mind flashes back to the first time he had dinner with Burt as Kurt’s official boyfriend.

_Burt sat across the table from his son and his... boyfriend. Kurt had just told him the news a day ago, and Burt was happy for him, he was. But he wasn’t so sure it was something he was prepared to deal with so soon. That probably made him the worst father in the history of all parenting, but he couldn’t control how he felt. And how he felt was totally unprepared for his son to have a significant other._

_Still, he had to make an effort. “So, uh...” he started. “How long has this thing between you two been going on?”_

_“About a week,” Kurt said through a mouthful of peas, right as Blaine responded with, “A couple months.”_

_Kurt shot his wonderful but oblivious boyfriend a concerned glare._

_Suddenly, all the time they had spent “studying” or “working on a Glee Club project” up in Kurt’s room while they were insistently just friends didn’t seem so innocent. It hadn’t taken Burt very long to figure out that clearly the two boys sitting in front of him had a..._ **_thing_ ** _going on long before they were official._

_He pinched the bridge of his nose, deciding right then and there to instill an open door policy in his household._

Burt’s voice extracted him from the memory. “Look, Blaine. I don’t dislike you. I think you’re great for my son. But there are certain boundaries I put in place in my household, and I’d like to see them respected.”

Burt pretended like he didn’t get some sort of satisfaction from the way Blaine’s face blanched and he started floundering.

“I-I’m so sorry about that, Mr. Hummel, I promise it’ll never happen again,” he stammered. “Or not that it’ll never happen again because I really love your son and sometimes when two people really love each other they display that love in a physical manner.” Burt froze and slowly turned his head to the rambling boy. “So I guess what I really mean is that it’ll never happen in your house, n-not that it’ll exclusively happen at my place—or other places, I just—“

“Anderson?”

Blaine let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “Sorry,” he squeaked.

A tense silence hung between them before Burt pointed to a nearby rack lined with various car parts. “Do you mind passing me the carburetor there?” 

Burt seemed to ask the question like it was some sort of test, and for a fleeting moment, Blaine was almost grateful for his father’s demented plot to try and turn him straight. He reached over and efficiently passed the part to Burt.

“How’d you know which one it was?” 

He just shrugged his shoulders. “My dad and I fixed a car together once. Before he left.”

The sound of tinkering came to an abrupt halt as Burt lifted his head up to look at Blaine with sympathy filled eyes. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s over and done with.” He replied nonchalantly. “Not every father is as accepting as you.”

“Yeah, well that’s his loss,” Burt said, suddenly passionate. His own son had lost his mother at age eight, but Burt could never imagine the toll it would take on a child whose parent _chose_ not to be in their life. “He’s missing out on a great kid, and if he can’t step into this century long enough to see that, that’s his problem.”

A smile tugged at Blaine’s lips and he resisted the urge to throw a fist in the air. Burt Hummel just called him a great kid! Who knew all he had to do was play the Absentee Father card?

“Thanks,” he began. “I guess another perk of dating Kurt is finally getting to see a healthy father-son relationship.”

Burt sighed and in that moment, felt like the biggest jerk ever. He was reminded that the child in front of him was just that—a child. Blaine might try to act all proper and polite in front of him, and he might have the vocabulary of an Ivy League college student, but he was still just a _kid_. 

He’d known Kurt was different (“Special,” Elizabeth would correct him. “He’s our special boy.”) from a very young age, but his mom had always been the one to deal with all the social aspects of Kurt’s life. Dealing with closed minded teachers, ignorant strangers, and bigoted family members was her forte. Burt was completely content with doing other parenting stuff with his son, like coloring and monitoring tea parties.

But when Elizabeth died, Burt had made a silent promise to protect their son fiercely enough for the both of them. From anything. And anything included a seemingly harmless teenager who had the potential to break his son’s heart for the first time, so yeah, Burt had been quite stern with him.

Blaine’s confession cycled over and over through his head and he realized that not every Kurt out there had a Burt. Perhaps he had been a little too rough on him, a little too cold. Burt realized that Blaine already had a father figure in his life guilty of not loving him enough, and he didn’t need another one.

“My mom will be expecting me soon.” Blaine started, checking his watch and bringing Burt back to himself. “I’ll see you around, Mr. Hummel.”

“For the hundredth time, call me Burt.” He said the words so many times before, but this time much less rigid, his frozen attitude finally thawing.

Blaine grinned back at him. “Sorry. Old habits,” he said before turning to leave.

Burt heaved a sigh. “Wait,” he called out towards the boy. Blaine quickly turned around and Burt could see how he was hanging on to his every word like it was gospel. This kid must’ve really loved his son to be so invested in winning him over. “Finn, Carole, Kurt, And I have these dinners every week—“

“Friday Night Dinners yeah, Kurt’s told me about them.”

“If you ever wanna stop on by,” he said. “Just let me know.”

Blaine didn’t think the smile on his face could grow any wider, but after that invitation, it did. “Thank you, Mr. Hum—Burt.” He caught himself. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Blaine can thaw Burt’s “frozen attitude” because he is the sunshine of tHE WORLD
> 
> Also can I uhhhhh get an outdated meme??? I promise it was relevant when I wrote this but probably won’t be by the time it’s posted 😂
> 
> Up next: you know me, not too sure lol but maybe we’ll get to see one of those FNDs ;)
> 
> If you enjoyed this, let me know!


	2. Brittany/Britney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this episode didn’t really feature anything I could use, so I decided to just focus on things that happened outside of this episode—if you’re familiar with the first part of this series just know it’ll be a bit different in that respect

“Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?” 

Mister Shue was in the middle of yet another mind numbingly dull lecture on adult contemporary music, and if it weren’t for Kurt’s hand stroking his own, Blaine was quite certain he would have fallen asleep by now.

“He discovered America,” Brittany blurted.

“Close.”

“Not really,” Blaine mumbled, earning a snicker from Kurt. After completing two entire years at McKinley, he still never failed to be amazed at the abysmal job the staff did of educating their students.

“He did write an iconic chart topper—Sailing.”

“I have a bad feeling about this lesson,” Kurt muttered.

Blaine nodded in agreement. “Ditto.”

“Now,” Mr. Shue continued to ignore his students. “Some people think of the term "easy listening" as a bad thing but I'm gonna let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones and you guys are really good about putting it all out there but really good music can also be controlled and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience. It can let them come to you.”

“How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart.”

Blaine stared at Finn, deeply, deeply hoping he knew that they were much more than only a hundred miles apart.

Like a beacon in the dark that was lame adult contemporary (there were some artists and songs that were good, but Mr. Shue seemed intent on focusing on the worst ones), Kurt suddenly stood up and started advocating for a different lesson.

“Mr. Shue, if I may, I think I speak for all of us when I say that it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. It's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand? That this week, at the Fall Homecoming assembly the McKinley High School Glee Club perform a number by- wait for it—”

They did.

“Ms. Britney Spears.”

Immediately, everyone exploded into excited cheers.

“Spears is fierce, yo!”

“Yeah!”

“Sorry. Kurt. Kurt. Sorry. No. No. No. I don't think she's a very good role model.” Blaine bit back the urge to respond _And you are?_ He loved Mr. Shue, but love and respect were two very different things.

“But, Mr. Shue, we kind of grew up with her,” Tina defended. “She's literally why I wanted to become a performer.”

“I don't want to do Britney,” Brittany said.

“Why no Britney, Brittany?” Kurt questioned.

“Because my name is also Britney Spears.”

“What the hell is she talking about?” Mercedes asked.

“My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany "Spierce." I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears's shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.”

“Well, there you have it, guys. It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry.”

“Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot,” Blaine grumbled.

“Leave Brittany alone.” Santana placed a comforting hand in Brittany’s.

“Thank you for understanding. It's been a hard road.”

“Um, can we move on? Yes. Let's talk about Michael Bolton.”

Blaine rolled his eyes back into oblivion, thinking,  _ Why do you always do this? _

* * *

“Hey, stranger.”

A pleasingly familiar voice brought Kurt to the here and now, back from the daunting , mundane trek between Physics and World History. He smiled up at Blaine.

“Hey yourself.”

With a cocky grin, Blaine jerked his head in the direction of the choir room. “Walk me to class, will you?” he teased. “Isn’t it your boyfriendly duty or something?”

“More like a privilege,” Kurt  retorted, returning his grin and reaching  down for his hand, interlocking their fingers. “Come on, Borat.”

“Remind me to never let you see my hair in its natural state again.”

They continued down the hallway and it wasn’t long before Kurt felt a rough pair of hands send him flying across the hallway, his hand suddenly ripped from Blaine’s warm and comfortable embrace. A stinging pain shot through his shoulder as it collided with the edge of somebody’s locker. Blaine immediately rushed to Kurt’s side.

“Why don’t you and your boyfriend go find a room?” Karofsky jeered. Kurt and Blaine looked at him in a combination of disgust and confusion for a couple of reasons. One, Azimio was nowhere to be found (Karofsky rarely came at the glee kids without backup). Two, their consistent bully had thrown the word boyfriend at them like some sort of insult—which, it might have been last year since they weren’t actually dating then.

Kurt staggered but quickly found his footing, pivoted around, and faced Karofsky. “Although you might find this hard to wrap your unevolved brain around, I am proud to be dating someone as amazing as Blaine. I almost pity the fact that you’ll likely never get such a luxury.”

Their tormentor reciprocated their confusion. “Dating?” he asked. Blaine caught something unidentifiable flash across his face. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was... disappointment?

But Blaine did know better—in fact, he knew all too well and figured that it was probably Karofsky trying and failing to comprehend their relationship out of sheer disgust. 

He reached for Kurt’s hand and attempted to drag him away from the scene. “Come on, babe, we don’t owe him any explanations.”

Kurt tore his hand away, still glaring down the lineman, refusing to stand down. “Someone does, because obviously the Lima School District has failed him!”

Blaine admired Kurt’s bravery so much, (it was part of the reason he fell in love with him) but there were times his admiration turned to dread and he worried Kurt’s stubbornness would get him into too much trouble with a bully. This was certainly one of those times.

“Kurt,” he scolded, once again grasping his boyfriend’s hand. “Let’s go.”

The paler boy begrudgingly followed Blaine’s trail, feeling the harsh rays of Karofsky’s gaze burn holes in his back.

He tried not to let it get to him, but sometimes it was just so damn hard. 

Blaine noticed Kurt’s silent rage. “He’s an idiot,” he tried to comfort him.

“I know,” Kurt responded. “It just... feels a lot more personal lately.”

“Do you wanna skip out on glee today?” Blaine suggests. “I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“No.” Kurt shook his head assuredly. “I’m not going to let this get in the way of living my life.”

Blaine nodded, not wanting to rile up the hard-headed Taurus in his boyfriend more than Karofsky already had.

Blaine was looking forward to a typical rehearsal, however, instantly knew it would be anything but when Brittany followed them into the choir room and suddenly announced: “I would just like to say that, from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club.”

“What?” Mr. Shue asked.

“When I had my teeth cleaned I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and danced better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am.”

Santana spoke up next. “I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy too. Although now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined. That doesn't make any sense.”

“You see, Mr. Shue?” Kurt started, already feeling a little better about what had happened out in the hall. “I told you. Britney Spears busted our Britt out of her everyday fragmented haze of confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform.”

“I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now.” After a brief pause , she added, “It's Brittany, bitch.”

“Guys, we're not doing Britney Spears, and that's that,” their teacher declared.

Once again, Kurt spoke out against their teacher’s close minded decision. “Mr. Shue, you are letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do. I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture and Britney Spears is pop culture. To suggest otherwise is heretical.”

“Kurt!” their Director scolded him. “I'm done talking about this.”

Kurt bristled, blood already rushing from the encounter with Karofsky and only further boiling with this interaction. “Geez! Let loose a little, would you? Stop being so fricking uptight all the time!”

You could hear a pin drop in that choir room. The New Directions all sat there, absolutely astonished at Kurt’s outburst. Some were even shaking with silent laughter, obviously amused, but Blaine knew better. He knew his boyfriend well enough to know that it was only because he was already on edge after what happened with Karofsky only moments before they entered the room.

“Kurt. I'll see you in the principal's office.”

Blaine’s jaw dropped. When Kurt huffed and started rising from his seat, Blaine barred an arm across his chest to keep him in place, stunning Kurt. “You can  _ not _ be serious, Mr. Shue.”

“Babe, it’s fine,” Kurt muttered. He knew based on last year the trouble Blaine’s temper could get him into, and the last thing he wanted was another transfer scare.

“No, it’s not fine!” Blaine snapped, still glaring down their Director.

“Would you like to join Kurt in the principal’s office, Blaine?” Mr. Shue asked with a warning tone.

Blaine let out a bitter scoff. “No, but by all means, send your only gay students to the office while letting the girl who sent another student to a  _ crackhouse _ off the hook.”

Rachel glared at him  b ut was unable to restrain her guilt over her stunt from last week.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that some of us are out there getting harassed on the daily by idiots like Karofsky, it  _ sucks,  _ so pardon us if singing in the background while Finn and Rachel duet  _ “Sailing” _ in front of us isn’t exactly going to take our minds off of that.”

”Wait a second,” their director asked, suddenly deeply concerned. “Did something happen to you two?”

“Do you even care?” he asked, throwing his hands out. “Because it really feels like you never listen to us anyways.”

Mr. Shue looked around at the rest of his choir. “How many of you feel this way, too?”

Kurt immediately sprang one of his hands up, earning a pointed glare from the director. Slowly yet surely, each of the remaining members of the New Directions raised their hands. Even Finn and Rachel lifted timid arms.

Blaine resisted the urge to roll his eyes at their teacher’s pitifully broken-hearted expression. Maybe if he listened to them every once in a while it wouldn’t have to come to this.

“I don’t want you guys to think I don’t care...” Mr. Shue started. “So, if it really means that much to you...” He looked at Kurt apologetically. “We can do Britney at the assembly.”

* * *

The next time Blaine was at his locker, he opened it only to see a leaf of notebook paper flutter to the floor. He bent down and picked it up, a grin breaking his face when he recognized Kurt’s familiar longhand.

_ Meet me in the auditorium at 4:00 pm. Don’t be late (or at least text me if you are) <3  
_ _ Love you -K _

Blaine chuckled at his boyfriend’s (god, would he ever get tired of that?) teasing note, immediately setting it up on display in his locker with a magnet before heading off into the direction of the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion.

When he opened the doo r, he was greeted with the sight of Kurt standing behind the microphone and in front of a layout that included blankets, pillows, and a picnic basket.

Blaine broke out into a wide grin. “What’s all this for? Celebrating our win at getting Britney in the Glee Club?”

“Something even better.” Blaine cocked his head to the side in confusion, expression softening when he heard Kurt’s heartwarming response. “A year of having you in my life.”

Blaine felt the lump forming in his throat just at that, but knew when his boyfriend kept talking that he would be a sobbing mess soon enough.

“I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t met you last year, but between idiots like Karofsky, Mr. Shue’s ridiculous double standards, and our sometimes spineless friends, I doubt it would be anywhere good. You’re not just my boyfriend. You’re my best friend. And I am so grateful every day that I get to have you in my life, because if I didn’t, I don’t know—I don’t—“ Kurt had to keep restarting to wipe tears from his eyes. “Dammit I said I wouldn’t cry and here I am.” He gave a shrug that seemed to say,  _ What can you do? _

Blaine let out a tearful chuckle of his own, severely overcome with emotion.

Kurt took a stabilizing breath before continuing with his speech. “I feel like you’re the only thing that makes sense in this world. McKinley and the New Directions are my home, don’t me wrong, but I feel like you’re the only one who appreciates me, sees me,  _ grounds _ me. So yeah, life here can be a hassle, but being with you makes it all worthwhile. So thank you, Blaine Anderson, for being the only thing that makes this utterly ridiculous public school bearable.”*

The music started, and as soon as Kurt started singing, Blaine was reduced to a jumbled up mess of simultaneously laughing and crying—crying because of how touched he was by Kurt’s grand gesture, and laughing because he was the only one he knew ridiculous enough to do something like this. 

He was so in love with him.

**_On a shameless night  
_ ** **_In a nameless place  
_ ** **_I thought that love was a hopeless case 'til I found you, 'til I found you  
_ ** **_Lived a wasteful life in a hateful city  
_ ** **_The world's no love just pain and pity 'til I found you, 'til I found you_ **

**_And you don't know how you saved me  
_ ** **_And you don't know what you gave me  
_ ** **_And you don't know how you saved my life_ **

**_I found the closest thing to heaven  
_ ** **_That's in you  
_ ** **_I found the deepest love I knew  
_ ** **_Ooh oh I believe  
_ ** **_Yes it's true  
_ ** **_I found myself, when I found you_ **

**_I believe for every door that's closing  
_ ** **_For every heartbreak  
_ ** **_There's hope for something new  
_ ** **_From the ashes rise a glimpse of paradise  
_ ** **_It soon flickered in your eyes  
_ ** **_When I found you_ **

**_I can see the light  
_ ** **_I have flown away  
_ ** **_I have come alive  
_ ** **_I am blown away  
_ ** **_I have felt the love  
_ ** **_I can see the truth  
_ ** **_Now that I found you, now that I found you  
_ ** **_Yeah_ **

**_And you don't know how you saved my life  
_ **

**_All my life  
_ ** **_I've waited for this day  
_ ** **_I've waited for you (For you)  
_ ** **_Now I adore you  
_ ** **_All my life  
_ ** **_I've waited for this day (Now that I found you)  
_ ** **_I've waited for you (Now that I found you)  
_ ** **_Now I adore you (Now that I found you)_ **

**_Now that I found you, now that I found you_ **

As soon as the song was over, Blaine rewarded it with heartfelt applause and wiped at his eyes. “That was phenomenal.”

Kurt ducked his head and shrugged. “Yeah well, I can’t help but pull focus.”

“I’m serious,” Blaine added. “You’re the best boyfriend ever. You made an entire mash-up for me, and all I got you was some lame origami ring.”

Kurt mocked a scoff. “Don’t you dare talk about the love of my life like that!” He hopped down from the stage and met Blaine’s waist with his arms, taking note of his boyfriend’s raised eyebrows. “You heard right,” Kurt continued playfully. After a moment of silence, his tone grew more serious. “You’re the love of my life.” He said intently.

Blaine felt his heart swell and pulled Kurt in for a kiss. "You're mine."

* * *

Blaine waited anxiously in front of the Hudson-Hummel household as he rang the doorbell. Sure, Burt had invited him to a Friday Night Dinner, but Blaine still lacked the certainty that that meant his boyfriend’s father actually liked him. 

At least Carole would be there. He’d met her several times and it might have been a bit pompous, but Blaine knew he was pretty popular with moms (he grimaced and shuddered for a moment as that thought sounded a bit too close to something Puckerman would say). Finn’s mom absolutely adored Blaine and he was hoping some of that adoration would rub off on Burt. He smiled at the memory of their interaction from the previous week, though. Knowing that Burt was at the very least warming up to him helped to ease some of his anxieties.

What didn’t help was the fact that things had gotten pretty hot and heavy in the stage after Kurt had sung to him earlier that day. How was he supposed to look Burt Hummel in the eye and carry on a normal conversation knowing that just hours before he had almost completely ravished his son—

The chick and click of the door unlocking and opening to reveal a smiling Burt brought Blaine back down to earth.

“Blaine!” the man cried, lunging forward and enveloping him in a hearty embrace. Blaine was taken a bit back by the gesture that so starkly contrasted from his earlier demeanor. 

_ I guess when Burt Hummel likes someone he likes them, _ Blaine thought.

He couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Hi, Burt.” He returned the hug. 

“Come on in, kid, dinner’s nearly ready!”

As Burt led him into the home that he’d been in several times already, he could smell the mouth-watering aroma of fettuccine Alfredo. It was one of Blaine’s favorites and he immediately knew that Kurt must’ve been behind deciding the menu for tonight.

His suspicions were confirmed when Kurt came bounding over and snaked his arms around his waist. “Hi,” he grinned after pressing a quick kiss to Blaine’s mouth. “Although Alfredo is one of the lesser challenging dishes to make, I remembered that it was one of your favorites.” Kurt’s smile softened as he led Blaine to a seat between Kurt and Finn. “I’m really glad that you came tonight. And it really means a lot to me that you came to talk to my dad last week.”

Blaine felt his ears burn red. “He told you about that?”

Kurt chuckled. “Yeah, he did. Said he was going to make more of an effort to have a relationship with you... thank you.” He gave a playful shrug. “I’d do the same with your mom but she already loves me.”

“Yeah,” Blaine breathed. “She really does.”

Dinner was served and Kurt and Carole were deep in conversation about some of their favorite television series, but Blaine noticed Finn and Burt sneaking glances at something underneath the table and then exchanging looks across it. He peered at them with curiosity, wondering what they could possibly be looking at.

Finally, Kurt noticed Blaine staring at them and he gasped.

“Finn, dad!” He scolded. “What happened to the no watching football at dinner rule!?” 

Finn gave a weak shrug. “We’re not technically watching, Kurt, just getting live updates on the NFL Redzone app.”

“Who’s playing?” Blaine asked, his interest piqued.

Kurt groaned and tossed his back in mildly playful frustration. “Oh god, not you, too!”

“Come on, Kurt,” Blaine teased back. “We love football. Remember being on the team together? Celebrating our first win?”

Everyone at the table stifled a laugh at the utterly ridiculous memory of the infamous Single Ladies play. Kurt shot Blaine a glare and silently vowed to get back at his boyfriend for that during their next make-out session, unscheduled or not.

“You love football,” Kurt corrected, hiding his grin behind a glass of water. “I love scarves.”

“Cowboys,” Burt answered when he was finished getting a kick out of the boys’ antics. “Against the Seahawks.”

“Ah,” Blaine responded. “America’s Team. Cooper, my brother, for some ungodly reason went through a phase where he was a die hard Texan fan. So naturally, I became a die-hard Cowboys fan just to spite him.”

“Some people are saying Romo might be out for the season,” Burt lamented.

Blaine rolled his eyes. “When isn’t he?”

“You’re telling me,” Finn added. “The dude’s getting injured every other game!”

“It’s because the team relies on him for nearly every game they win,” Blaine countered. “He over-exerts himself and the coaches don’t realize that it’s a team sport, and the responsibility shouldn’t fall solely on the quarterback!”

Kurt sent an expression that was equal parts annoyance and amusement towards Carole. “Watch this,” he murmured slyly, just to her. He cleared his throat and said, louder this time, “So, Carole, what did you think of last night’s episode of Grey’s?” 

Blaine was suddenly pulled from being deep in conversation with Finn and Burt and snapped his head towards Kurt and Carole. “Oh, my god, don’t even get me started on the wedding episode with April and AJ! When the camera pans to them running away together— _ tears _ .”

“Alright, you guys win,” Burt said, desperate to change the subject. “How was Glee club today?”

“Oh yeah!” Finn barked out a laugh. “Kurt almost got sent to the principal’s office.”

Blaine yelped in surprise as he felt a shoe collide with his shin and Kurt grimaced. 

“Sorry, hon, that was meant for  _ him _ .” He shot a glare at Finn. “Who, by the way, got kicked off the football team.”

“Actually, I’m back on now.” Finn threw a shit eating grin right back at him. “And I got Artie on the team, so looks like I’m the star child this week.” He stuck his tongue out at Kurt.

“Finn, you’re  _ acting _ like a child. We have a guest, be civilized.”

Blaine refrained from laughing at how, well, brotherly Finn and Kurt were acting. They reminded him of him and Cooper constantly trying to one up each other with their accolades from the past week.

“Blaine’s not a guest,” Finn scoffed. “He’s one of my oldest friends and your boyfriend. He’s family.”

Kurt’s expression visibly softened.

“I’ll have to agree with you on that one, Finn,” Burt said, throwing a smile Blaine’s way.

“I second,” Carole added. “Can we keep him?”

Blaine sent a charming smile her way. “As much as I would love that, I think my mom would miss me.”

“Speaking of Mary, how is she?” Carole asked. “I haven’t seen her in so long.”

“She’s actually doing really great! She just got a grant to work with the music department at the university. They’re doing a study on the effects of music classes in nonverbal children with Autism, or those with limited speech abilities. Really interesting stuff.”

They chatted for a moment, Carole recalling a few practicums she got to participate in while in nursing school before Finn suddenly popped his head up from his plate enthusiastically.

“Wait a second,” Finn interrupted them. “Does this mean I can start inviting Rachel to these things?”

“Please dear god, no.” Kurt answered. “I get one hour a week without having to deal with her constant blabbering and it’s during these dinners. They’re my solace.”

Once again, Blaine felt a foot collide with his knee. “Ow!” He jolted in his chair. 

“My bad!” Finn apologized, sending a dirty look to his mom’s boyfriend’s son. “That was for Kurt.”

“That’s it, that’s the last time I’m sitting between you two.” Blaine pointed his fork alternately at them. 

“If you guys keep this up,” Carole said between a sip of water. “Blaine’s not going to want to come back.”

Blaine found amusement in their almost offended expressions and stifled a laugh. 

“Oh, believe me Carole, I plan on sticking around for quite a while.”

Kurt smiled widely at him and reached for his hand underneath the table. “Yet another momentous occasion to mark on the calendar. Your first Friday Night Dinner.”

Blaine returned the grin before correcting him. “The first of many.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Kurt's mashup songs:
> 
> [When I Found You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci4-hGaEw_E)/[Now That I Found You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4_hkDXX7nk)


	3. Grilled Cheesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WHOOF FORGOT TODAY WAS FRIDAY (also I got caught up binging Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)
> 
> How's everyone holding up with this Quarantine stuff? Hope y'all are staying healthy (both physically and mentally!)
> 
> I added links in the story for songs that don't show up in canon in case anyone is interested lol. Titles will be at the end!
> 
> As usually, huge shoutout to my Beta, Adri!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**_Here's what you missed on Glee._ **

**_Artie made the football team, which is crazy._ **

**_Finn's not the quarterback anymore._ ** **_This new kid Sam is._ **

**_Kurt's dad and Finn's mom are dating and are really happy together, which makes Finn and Kurt sort of like brothers. They sure yell at each other like brothers._ **

_ “Why is it so hard for you to understand?”  _

**_Sue has a sister, Jean, who she doesn't yell at, at all._ **

_ “I will always love you.” _

**_Which makes her the only person Sue doesn't yell at._ **

**_And that's what you missed on Glee._ **

* * *

Burt was in the garage, working underneath a lifted car when he heard Kurt’s familiar voice.

“Hey, Dad.” 

“Hey, that’s my boy!” Burt said, happy to see his son paying him a visit in the garage.

“You forgot your breakfast. Suzanne Somers says that skipping breakfast is suicide.” He passed his dad a brown paper bag.

Burt opened the bag, disappointed in its contents. “What is this?”

“It's an egg white wrap on a sprouted wheat tortilla, half a grapefruit, and a green drink.”

“Where's my usual breakfast?” 

His son raised an eyebrow. “A Coke and two Slim Jims?”

“Yeah. Breakfast of champions.”

“Dad, you are not a kid anymore,” Kurt scolded. “You have to start taking care of yourself.”

“I guess with enough hot sauce, this will be alright.” He set the bag aside for a time when he found said hot sauce and reminded Kurt, “Hey, don't forget, Friday night dinner is 6:00 instead of 7:00 this week. Carole and Finn are coming over and she has to work the night shift.”

“I can't do this Friday. Uh, sing-along Sound of Music at the El Royale Theater with Blaine.” Kurt didn’t miss the way his dad looked up at him from his breakfast with disappointment. “It's a once-a-year event.” He tried defending himself.

“Last week you had to camp out early so you could be first in line for those Grey's Anatomy DVDs.”

“Season  _ six _ , Dad.”

“Those Friday night dinners are a ritual in our family—one your mom started,” Burt reminded him.

“I know, but I'm a teenager,” he started, tossing his hands out in defeat. “And I have a boyfriend... something I didn’t think would happen for a long,  _ long _ time... Friday nights are kind of important to me. Why are you making me feel guilty about this? I, of all people, know how important the relationship is between you and Carole.”

“Those dinners are more than important. They're sacred. The whole point of having something sacred is that it takes precedence over anything else you got going on.”

“Sing-along Sound of Music is sacred to me,” he rebutted. 

“What, you think I don't know that? Wasn't I the one who bought you that Maria bonnet when you were six?”

Kurt tossed his head upward and muttered, “Enough with the bonnet. Sound of Music Singalong was the first show Blaine and I saw together. And what I have with him is sacred.”

“I know that,” his dad started up again. “But you and Blaine also spend plenty of time together.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Kurt raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest. “If you have a problem with my boyfriend, perhaps the time to bring it up would’ve been six months ago when we started dating,” he added defensively. “I thought you were past this whole Gun-Cleaning-Dad phase?”

“I am. You know I love Blaine just as much as you do,” Burt said calmly. He paused, then sighed deeply. “I just mean that if you start giving up stuff like Friday night dinners then you got nothing to hold onto. Okay, let's face it, Kurt—If we don't schedule it, then we don't hang out. If we don't hang out, then our lives just go right by each other. And we don't share very much.”

A tense silence hung between them for a moment. Kurt would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a small twinge of guilt about missing the dinner, but he also couldn’t shake the feeling that he and Blaine needed to make up for a lot of lost time together. 

“I'm sorry, but I'm not missing something that I look forward to all year just for another dinner,” he said, already heading out the garage door. “Maybe we could do it Thursday or something.”

“I got to tell you, Kurt. I'm real disappointed in you.”

He stopped, holding back the urge to say  _ Yeah, what’s new? _ before heading out the garage doors.

* * *

Finn stood at the front of the choir room, he had wanted to announce something and everybody was waiting for him to get on with it.

“Mr. Shue?” he finally said. “I have something to say. Something happened to me and I can't really get into it, but it's shaken me to my core.”

“Oh, my God, he's coming out,” Puck said.

“Why, yes. There is a man who's sort of recently come into my life...”

Blaine shot his boyfriend a confused glance. 

“And that man is Jesus Christ.”

A ridiculous silence fell across the choir.

“That's way worse,” Puck finally added.

“And I know there's others here who dig him too,” Finn continued. Blaine could feel Kurt’s hand tense up in his. “And so I thought maybe this week we could pay tribute to him in music. You know, pay tribute to Jesus.”

“Sorry, uh, but if I wanted to sing about Jesus, I'd go to church,” Kurt started, leaning forward. “And the reason I don't go to church is because most churches don't think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science.”

“I don't see anything wrong with getting a little church up in here,” Mercedes said happily.

“I agree.” Quinn sent a smile to Blaine and Mercedes. “I've had a really hard year, and I turned to God for help. I, for one, wouldn't mind saying thanks.”

“Thanks for what?” Santana rolled her eyes. “That it didn't come out a lizard baby?”

Without even having to look, Blaine reached over and held an arm across Quinn’s torso, holding her back in order to avoid a repeat of their fight a few weeks ago.

“Whenever I pray, I fall asleep,” Brittany interjected.

“Well, guys, maybe our song selections don't have to be about Jesus,” Mr. Shue offered. “We could do songs about spirituality.”

Finn caught Puck in the middle of an eye roll. “You got a problem with Jesus?” he challenged. 

“Oh, I got no problem with the guy,” Puck replied. “I’m a total Jew for Jesus. He's my number one Hebe. What I don't like seeing is people using J-Money to cramp everybody else's style 'cause it seems to me that true spirituality—whatever you want to call it—is about enjoying the life that you've been given. I see God every time I make out with a new chick.”

“That doesn't make any sense. In fact, it's stupid!” Rachel spat.

“Are you calling Mr. Billy Joel stupid? At this time I'd like to continue my streak of doing only songs by Jewish artists. Hit it.”

Puck started strumming his guitar to Billy Joel’s Only The Good Die Young.

**_Come out Virginia, don't let 'em wait  
_ ** **_You Catholic girls start much too late  
_ ** **_Aw but sooner or later it comes down to fate  
_ ** **_Oh I might as well be the one_ **

Blaine smiled, the song was a classic. He got up and danced around with Mercedes and Quinn as Puck sang.

**_Well, they showed you a statue, told you to pray  
_ ** **_They built you a temple and locked you away  
_ ** **_Aw, but they never told you the price that you pay  
_ ** **_For things that you might have done  
_ ** **_Only the good die young  
_ ** **_That's what I said  
_ ** **_Only the good die young  
_ ** **_Only the good die young_ **

He looked around for his boyfriend, hoping he’d join in on the fun, but couldn’t find him amongst the crowd of jolly glee clubbers. 

**_You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation  
_ ** **_You got a brand new soul  
_ ** **_Mmm, and a cross of gold  
_ ** **_But Virginia they didn't give you quite enough information  
_ ** **_You didn't count on me  
_ ** **_When you were counting on your rosary  
_ ** **_(Oh woah woah)_ **

He finally caught a glimpse of him sitting behind the band, lips pursed and staring down at his phone. 

**_They say there's a heaven for those who will wait  
_ ** **_Some say it's better but I say it ain't  
_ ** **_I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints  
_ ** **_The sinners are much more fun_ **

**_You know that only the good die young  
_ ** **_I tell ya  
_ ** **_Only the good die young  
_ ** **_Only the good die young_ **

* * *

“God, glee club was unbearable today.” Kurt rolled his eyes as he walked by Blaine’s side towards the parking lot. “Spirituality? The next thing you know we’ll have a lesson on Santa Claus.”

Blaine simply shrugged. “I don’t know, Billy Joel’s always a good time,” he mumbled absentmindedly.

“And on top of that my dad’s giving me heat for opting out of Friday Night Dinner to go to the Sing Along with you.”

Blaine sent him a concerned glance. “I thought you said he’d be fine with it?” 

“Well, I thought he would be...”

“Maybe he’s got a point.” His voice lilted up at the end of his sentence, knowing it might push a button or two of Kurt’s. But Blaine had just gotten on Burt’s good side, he didn’t want to peeve him again by being the reason Kurt missed out on a Friday Night Dinner. Besides, those were a weekly event that Blaine himself also happened to enjoy.

Just as he expected, Kurt’s face fell. “Oh, no, not you too.”

“I’m just saying,” Blaine threw his hands up in surrender. “If I had a dad as great as yours—“

“That’s not fair—you don’t get to play the estranged father card! Or else I’ll play the dead mom card,” he hummed with a phony thoughtfulness. “Hm, between the two of us we’ve got the perfect nuclear family.”

“You’re really lucky, Kurt,” Blaine continued, holding back a laugh at Kurt’s comment. “Your dad’s wonderful. I know we’re both excited about this relationship because it’s going so well and it’s our first one—“ he took Kurt’s hand before he suddenly cut him off.

“And our last.”

Blaine smiled widely. “And our last,” he repeated. “But take it from me, you and your dad have something really special. If I were you, I’d hold on to it for as long as I could.”

Kurt looked over to his wonderful boyfriend, his expression softening. Maybe Blaine was right. He still felt the need to spend as much time as possible with Blaine, but that didn’t have to mean cutting back on family time. After all, his dad was the only family he had left (aside from Blaine, of course).

He sighed and smiled. “How did I end up with such a wise beyond his years boyfriend?” Kurt asked.

Blaine shrugged playfully then pressed a gentle kiss to Kurt’s lips, mumbling against them. “I learned from the best.”

* * *

Kurt always lamented the fact that Blaine had decided to take Spanish class instead of French with him, but the fact that he had to sit next to Stoner Brett of all people definitely added to his annoyance. Luckily he could always pass the time by sending quips at him in fluent French.

“Dans deux heures, je ferai l'expérience de plus de culture que dans toute votre vie.” That loosely translated to:  _ In two hours I will experience more culture than you have in your entire life. _

Mr. Shue and Mrs. Pillsbury entered the room and quietly whispered something to his teacher before calling his attention.

“Kurt?” his choir director called out. “Can we talk to you outside?” 

Kurt took one look at the grim expressions on their faces and his stomach dropped.

The duration from the time Kurt heard the words “Your dad had a heart attack” to the time he finally got to the hospital was entirely a blur. How the hell was he supposed to focus on his surroundings when he didn’t even know if his dad was—

_ Stop it. Don’t let yourself think like that. _

Finally, he was waiting in the lobby area of the hospital with bated breath to find out more about his dad’s status.

After what must have been an eternity, a doctor finally made his way towards them.

“Where is he? Is he dead?” Kurt asked, wanting to get right to the point.

When his mom had passed, nobody had outright told him. His dad had just held him and cried as he said “I’m so sorry,” over and over again. He had only been eight, but he knew. On some level, he knew what had happened. But he was still just a kid and didn’t let go of any hope until the casket was lowered into the ground. This time, Kurt just wanted to  _ know _ .

“No, he's alive, but I'm sorry. I don't have any other good news.”

“I want to see him.” Kurt rushed forward only to be held back by the doctor’s arms.

“He hasn't regained consciousness.”

“I thought he had a heart attack.”

“Brought on by an arrhythmia which caused a lack of blood to his brain. That's what made him lose consciousness, and what's keeping him comatose. We have him on Lidocaine, but there's no guarantee they're going to work or what kind of damage was done to his brain by the lack of oxygen.”

“I don't understand what you're saying. When is he gonna wake up?” Kurt shook his head frantically.

“I don't know.”

“Okay, just—Just take us to him now, please,” he pleaded.

The doctor nodded and led the three of them down the hall to a room.

The sight that greeted him made his stomach churn. His dad lay there, looking like only a shell of the man he actually was, hooked up to machines that were much too impersonal and cold to be the things that kept him breathing.

“I need a minute,” he finally whispered.

“I don't think you should be alone, Kurt,” Mr. Shue said, as if he had any right to.

“I won’t be,” he replied shakily. “I’m going to call Blaine but... please just give me a moment alone, for now.”

Will nodded. “We'll be right outside.”

Kurt went up to his dad’s bedside, not acknowledging the fact that he could very well be an orphan in within the week.

“Dad? Can you hear me? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand. I'm holding yours right now. Just squeeze back. Come on, Dad. Just squeeze my hand.”

* * *

Blaine rushed through the hospital doors frantically, heart jumping up in his throat and praying harder than he’d ever prayed that this was some sort of mistake. 

Before he even realized what was happening, hazy memories of being wheeled into this very hospital washed through his mind. 

_ The first thing Blaine could see were the fluorescent lights above him, blinking by while the nurses wheeled him along. He turned his head, sucking in a deep breath in response to the searing pain in his side as he did so. He could see Connor’s normally light brown hair, darkened by the blood streaming from his scalp. Looking down, he saw what must have been his own hand, a few streaks of blood (whose, he wasn’t even sure of) painting it a faint crimson hue.  _

_ He reached out to the gurney rushing parallel to him, trying to get to his friend, but the world went black around him again before he had the chance to. _

Blaine shook the memory from his head. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on the last time he was here. Now was the time to be there for his boyfriend. 

He burst into the waiting room and Kurt immediately stood up to face him. Without a word, they hurried to each other and he immediately wrapped his boyfriend in a tight hug. Kurt buried his head into Blaine’s chest, body heaving with sobs.

“I never got to talk to him about the stupid Sing Along,” Kurt sobbed and Blaine tightened his grip, feeling tears of his own pool up. His heart absolutely shattered at what Kurt said next. “The last thing he said to me was that he was disappointed in me... what if that’s the last thing he ever says to me?”

* * *

The pale blue of daylight cracked through Blaine’s window, slowly bringing him back to consciousness. The next thing he was aware of was his arms wrapped around Kurt’s waist.

After explaining the situation to her, Blaine’s mom had allowed Kurt to stay the night at their place. (“I... I can't let him go home to an empty house, Mom.”)

She had also discreetly handed a pack of condoms to him and briefly lectured him again about staying safe and respecting his body, much to his humiliation. It was so quick that he didn’t even have time to tell her that he and Kurt hadn’t even reached that level in their relationship. That was probably a blessing in disguise. Blaine was closer with his mom than most people were, but there were still some things he was perfectly fine with keeping to himself.

He gently shook Kurt’s shoulders and his eyes slowly and evenly opened, as if he’d been just on the verge of waking up for the entire night.

“Hey, babe,” Blaine started softly. “I’m heading to school, but you can stay here if you want.”

Kurt sat up and shook his head insistently. “I don’t want to be alone right now. Besides, I need a good distraction.”

When they eventually got to Glee club, Blaine thought Mercedes had offered Kurt the perfect distraction with her performance of  _ I Look To You. _

“Thank you, Mercedes,” Kurt started. “Your voice is stunning, but I don't believe in God.”

Everybody shot him a surprised glance. Everyone except Blaine. Though they hadn’t had a conversation about it yet, Kurt had made his stance on religion quite clear, especially the other day after Finn’s proclamation of faith. He couldn’t see why the rest of the New Directions were so shocked by Kurt’s confession.

“Wait, what?” Tina asked. 

Kurt just shrugged. “You've all professed your beliefs. I'm just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God's kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay, and then has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose—as if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don't want a heavenly father. I want my real one back.”

“But Kurt, how do you know for sure?” Mercedes asked, taking her seat back on the risers. “I mean, you can't prove that there's no God.”

“You can't prove that there isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?”

After a beat of silence, Brittany mumbled, “Is God an evil dwarf?”

“We shouldn't be talking like this,” Quinn snapped defensively. “It's not right.”

“I'm sorry, Quinn. But you all can believe whatever you want to. But I can't believe something I don't. I appreciate your thoughts but I don't want your prayers.”

* * *

“Last week we were too sexy. This week we're too religious. We can't win,” Tina lamented.

Mr. Shue had just told them that according to Sue—and a federal law—they weren’t allowed to sing songs about spirituality or religion anymore.

“Now I know what Miley feels like,” Brittany said under her breath.

“The real tragedy here is that I found the most perfect spiritual song to sing this week and now it's been torn away from me like Sophie's daughter,” Rachel said haughtily.

Blaine snorted at her. “Rachel, there are bigger problems than you not getting yet another solo.” He glared at her and she glared right back.

“Guys, you can still sing whatever songs you like that sum up your feelings about God, about spirit. You just can't do it on school time,” Mr. Shue explained.

“I hope you're happy, Kurt,” Santana said, and Blaine glared her down like he never glared at anybody before. 

“Having the week of my life, actually.”

“That’s really uncalled for, Santana,” Blaine snapped. “Discussions of religion can be helpful, but not in this case, since it has all of you turning your backs on my boyfriend.”

“Look, we're sympathetic to what Kurt’s going through,” Rachel started, earning a snort from Kurt and an eye roll from Blaine. “I get you might share Kurt’s nihilist viewpoint, but siding with Miss Sylvester isn't gonna do anyone any good.” 

Blaine gritted his teeth, but held his tongue. What he believed or didn’t believe wasn’t anybody’s business but his own, and it certainly wasn’t something to be used as leverage during an argument in a glee club meeting. 

“It's doing me some good,” Kurt responded. “Now I don't have to sit around listening to all you mental patients talk about how there's a God when I know there isn't one.”

* * *

“Thanks for coming with me,” Kurt told Blaine as they walked behind the Sikh Kurt found to perform acupuncture on his dad.

“Of course,” Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand in his own. He could never understand what Kurt was going through. He’d already lost his mom—something Blaine couldn’t possibly begin to imagine. Harold walking out on them ended up being a good thing, but Blaine knew if he had lost his mom, too, he would have never made it through the past three years.

All Blaine could really do was be there for him, and that was enough for Kurt. Nothing on Earth could ever make what he was going through right now easy, but having Blaine there to wrap him in a tight hug or hold his hand when things got scary definitely softened the blow.

Blaine leaned his head on the space between Kurt’s head and shoulders, fitting perfectly like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle. He turned his head and pressed a gentle kiss to Kurt’s shoulder, mumbling comforting words against his shirt. “Everything’s going to be okay, Kurt. I promise.”

Kurt shut his eyes tightly, causing a tear he was so desperately trying to hold back to trail down his cheek. “What if it’s not?” He whispered.

Before Blaine could come up with a response, they arrived to Burt’s room just in time to hear Rachel softly singing the last notes of a song from Yentl.

**_Papa, how I miss you  
_ ** **_Kissing me goodnight_ **

Blaine could feel Kurt tense up next to him.

“Who's next?” she said, turning to the others in the room as the song ended.

“What's going on in here?” Kurt asked, stepping into the room.

“We-We were just praying for your dad,” Mercedes stammered, a little taken aback by his anger. “Rachel, Quinn and I are taking turns. We're from different denominations and religions so we figured one of us is bound to be right.”

“I didn't ask you to do this.”

“Honey, I know you're upset about what's happening. I get it.” Carole had been next to Burt the entire time and spoke up. “But friends help out, even when you don't ask.”

“Mr. Kurt Hummel?”

“Dude, why didn't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim?” Finn asked.

“I'm not Muslim. I'm a Sikh.”

“She's gonna see if acupuncture will improve the circulation to my dad's brain. Amazingly, needles pierce the skin better than psalms,” Kurt said. There was a beat of silence before he said, “Can you all please leave now?”

“We just wanted to do something,” Rachel mumbled, being one of the last ones out of the room.

The all flowed out of the room, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone with Burt.

“Do you think that was harsh of me?” Kurt asked after a moment of silence, arms crossed and gripping his dad’s too still hand.

Blaine shrugged. “Do you want honest boyfriend or supportive boyfriend?” Kurt hung his head and that was all the answer he needed. “It was a little cold,” Blaine said without any heat. “But I get it. He’s your dad, not theirs, and they don’t get to decide stuff like that, no matter their intentions.”

Kurt shook his head. “I just can’t comprehend how many of my friends so firmly believe in fairy tales.” 

Blaine shifted in his chair uncomfortably, wondering if he should say what he so desperately wanted to say. He figured if he was going to spend the rest of his life with the boy sitting next to him, it was bound to come up some time. Might as well be now. “Well, uh...” he swallowed nervously. “So does your boyfriend.”

Kurt snapped his head up, eyes wide and horrified. “Oh... I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“It’s okay,” Blaine said quickly.

“It’s just the way you defended me in glee club the other day…”

“Just because I believe in God doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t be allowed to speak your mind.”

“So you’re..?” Kurt trailed off, waiting for an answer.

“Catholic...” Kurt nodded his head slowly, furrowing his eyebrows. Blaine chuckled at his boyfriend’s shock. “You seem surprised.”

“I just—we’ve never had this conversation before.”

“It never came up.”

“You’re gay,” Kurt said blankly, still trying to comprehend what Blaine had just told him. He could understand someone believing in God, but Catholicism? Obviously, Kurt didn’t have much personal experience with organized religion, but based on what Kurt had gathered from TV and other media, members of Catholic communities seemed to be more of the old-fashioned variety. As in, less open minded about interracial and same-sex couples… How could his boyfriend, a biracial gay teenager, be  _ Catholic? _

“I was also raised by a Filipino mother.” He chuckled lightheartedly. “She’s pretty modern, but she made sure to take Cooper and I to church every Sunday... and we still do. My mom said I didn’t have to go once I was old enough to stay home alone, but I wanted to.”

It suddenly dawned on Kurt that Blaine was always unavailable every Sunday at ten in the morning, and now he knew why.

“You... like going to church?” Kurt prodded cautiously at the subject. “Why? If you don’t mind me asking?”

Blaine nodded. “In Catholicism, no matter which church you go to, everybody sings the same words. It’s more than a faith. It’s a community—a shared experience. There’s a sort of comfort in knowing that every member has gone through the same rites and rituals you have. Did you know the reason they pour oil on babies during baptism is to soften our hearts the way oil softens our skin? I just think there’s something beautiful about that.”

Kurt didn’t believe in God, but he was starting to understand why other people did—if religion put a smile like that on Blaine’s face it couldn’t be all that bad, right? 

“When my dad left, it was... an adjustment, to say the least. I mean, all of a sudden—“ Blaine cut himself off, realizing this topic might be a bit insensitive to Kurt’s current ordeal.

However, his boyfriend knew him all too well. “All of a sudden you didn’t have a dad?” he finished for him. “It’s okay, Blaine. I know I’m one of the only people you feel comfortable talking to about this. I’m not going to keep you from that.”

Blaine nodded slowly, unable to push away the feelings of guilt. “My mom taught me to pray pretty young, and there were times I would talk to God like... well, like he was my actual father. I know it’s stupid—“

“It’s not stupid,” Kurt cut him off with by pressing his lips to Blaine’s. “Not if it brings you comfort like that. Though,” he admitted. “I still can’t help but wonder... What about all the blatant sexism? The homophobia, etcetera?” 

“Well, the way I see it is that God didn’t write the Bible. Humans wrote down his word in a way they felt was appropriate for that time. That leaves a lot of room for human error, if you ask me. Beyond that, there are a lot of different ways to interpret scripture, which is how we ended up with so many different denominations of Christianity anyways. There doesn’t seem to be one right answer.” Blaine shrugged. “It’s not an exact science, but I’ve been blessed plenty in life to have enough faith in God.”

Kurt just let out a bitter laugh. “If there is a god, he’s never given me a reason to believe in him.” His eyes ran from his dad’s still body to the machines that kept him alive. “Especially not now.”

Blaine looked at Kurt for a moment, a sadness from an unidentifiable source washing over him.

* * *

Hours later—after Blaine brought up some mediocre dinner tray from the hospital cafeteria that Kurt refused to eat—Blaine finally convinced him to give his mind a break and watch some cable. Friends played on the outdated television set mounted on the wall.

Kurt gave a halfhearted smile at one of the jokes, then blinked just a little too slowly. Blaine checked the time. It was nearly midnight. He placed a gentle hand on the paler boy’s. “Hey,” he whispered. “You should get some sleep.”

Kurt opened his eyes and vigorously shook his head—partially to fervently disagree with Blaine’s suggestion and partially to wake himself up. “I have to be here—if he wakes up.”

“I’ll stay up,” Blaine offered.

“No,” Kurt started. “You should go home. Your mom’s probably worried sick.”

“I already called her to let her know I might not come home tonight.”

He gripped Blaine’s hand tightly and gave him the closest thing to a smile he could muster up. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” 

Kurt curled up on the recliner, falling fast asleep within a few minutes. Blaine knew all too well how physically exhausting emotional turmoil could be. 

He watched the steady rise and fall of Kurt’s chest, wishing there was enough room on the chair for both of them. His eyes moved to Burt in the hospital bed, a stark contrast to the coziness that his son, only a few feet away, seemed to exude.

Nobody deserved this, but especially not the Hummels.

Blaine was just starting to build up his relationship with Burt, and the thought of having it swept away so soon burned a hole into his chest.

He reached for Burt’s hand and started softly [singing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwTMz6Nfhjg) under his breath.

**_Piece by piece he collected me  
_ ** **_Up off the ground where you abandoned things  
_ ** **_Piece by piece he filled the holes  
_ ** **_That you burned in me at six years old_ **

Even before he’d started dating Kurt, Burt had shown Blaine what a good father was supposed to be. That was something he only had faint memories of at that point in his life... The fresher ones hadn’t been so pretty.

**_He never walks away  
_ ** **_He never asks for money  
_ ** **_He takes care of me  
_ ** **_He loves me_ **

As memories from the last Friday Night Dinner flashed through his mind, Blaine silently prayed harder than he’d ever prayed before—even harder than he had prayed for his biological father to stop hitting him—that Burt would find the strength he needed to wake up soon.

Blaine couldn’t bear the thought of Kurt losing yet another parent. Hell, he couldn’t bear the thought of a world without Burt Hummel.

**_Piece by piece he restored my faith  
_ ** **_That a man could love and a father could stay_ **

* * *

“Mr. Shue, if I may?”

Their director nodded and Kurt headed up to the front of the classroom.

“Um, I wanted to thank everyone for your kind emails and queries about my dad but for your information, his condition remains the same. I need to express myself… so I've prepared a number for the occasion.

“On the day of my mom's funeral when they were lowering her body into the ground, I was crying. I mean, that was it. It was the last time I was ever going to see her and I remember I looked up at my dad and I... I just wanted him to say something—just something to make me feel like my whole world wasn't over. And he just took my hand and squeezed it and just knowing that those hands were there to take care of me—That was enough. This is for my dad.”

The song hadn’t even started yet, and Blaine already had a lump in his throat with his eyes filled, tears just on the verge of spilling over.

**_Yeah, I'll tell you somethin'  
_ ** **_I think you'll understand  
_ ** **_When I say that somethin'  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand_ **

**_Oh please, say to me  
_ ** **_You'll let me be your man  
_ ** **_And please, say to me  
_ ** **_You'll let me hold your hand_ **

**_Now, let me hold your hand  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand_ **

**_And when I touch you  
_ ** **_I feel happy inside  
_ ** **_It's such a feelin' that my love  
_ ** **_I can't hide  
_ ** **_I can't hide  
_ ** **_I can't hide_ **

**_Yeah, you got that somethin'  
_ ** **_I think you'll understand  
_ ** **_When I say that somethin'  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand  
_ ** **_I want to hold your hand_ **

By the end of the song, Kurt was crying, and he wasn’t the only one. There didn’t seem to be a dry eye in the house—even Puck and Santana were wiping their faces clean.

It was then that Blaine finally understood what he had been feeling the day before in Burt’s hospital room, and then he knew he had to share it with Kurt.

* * *

Blaine sat on the stool in front of the risers, band setting up behind him while the rest of the choir flowed in. He noticed Kurt hadn’t come in yet—he wouldn’t blame him for opting to stay home today. It had been a rough week for him. But if he wasn’t coming then Blaine would just postpone his performance.

It seemed he wouldn’t have to, as the love of his life finally charged into the room. Blaine’s heart wrung at the sight of Kurt’s tired eyes that no doubt spent all night crying. When their eyes met, Kurt’s mouth twisted up into something that almost resembled a smile.

“Alright,” Mr. Shue started. “Blaine has asked if he could perform for us today, so... Go for it, Anderson.”

He smiled weakly at the group.

“So, um... I have something kind of special prepared for today that I’d like to share with everyone. Especially Kurt.” He started. “Yesterday, we all got to witness what I think was one of the most stunning performances I’ve ever seen. Kurt...” he practically breathed out his boyfriend’s name. “You moved me, with that song. I remember talking to you the other day about God. You said that God had never given you a reason to believe in him. But a little over a year ago, he gave me a pretty damn good one. I know you don’t believe—that’s fine, you have every right not to. I-I’m not trying to convert you or anything, but I just couldn’t let another moment pass without letting you know exactly how I feel.” 

He took one look at Kurt’s tear tracked face and had to take extra care to not let his own spill out. 

“So, Kurt Hummel, love of my life, this is for you.”

Blaine nodded to Brad and the piano player started the moderate intro to the [song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N0sJWiJD7I)

**_I set out on a narrow way many years ago  
_ ** **_Hoping I would find true love along the broken road  
_ ** **_But I got lost a time or two  
_ ** **_Wiped my brow and kept pushing through  
_ ** **_I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you_ **

**_That every long lost dream led me to where you are  
_ ** **_Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars  
_ ** **_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
_ ** **_This much I know is true  
_ ** **_That God blessed the broken road  
_ ** **_That led me straight to you_ **

**_I think about the years I spent just passing through  
_ ** **_I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you  
_ ** **_But you just smile and take my hand  
_ ** **_You've been there you understand  
_ ** **_It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true_ **

**_Every long lost dream led me to where you are  
_ ** **_And others who broke my heart they were like northern stars  
_ ** **_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
_ ** **_This much I know is true  
_ ** **_That God blessed the broken road  
_ ** **_That led me straight to you_ **

**_And now I'm just rolling home  
_ ** **_Into my lover's arms  
_ ** **_This much I know is true  
_ ** **_That God blessed the broken road  
_ ** **_That led me straight to you_ **

**_That God blessed the broken road  
_ ** **_That led me straight to you_ **

The song hadn’t even been over for second before Kurt ran up to Blaine and threw his arms around his neck, bringing their lips together and for once not caring who was watching. Blaine could taste tears between their mouths, unable to tell if they were his or Kurt’s.

They pulled apart, Kurt still clinging onto Blaine like he might float off into oblivion if he let go. “Thank you,” Kurt mumbled against his cheek.

Blaine pulled away slightly to look Kurt in those gorgeous blue-green-gray eyes he was so lucky to get to see often. “I wanted to ask if you’d like to go to church with me on Sunday. You can absolutely say no, but if you don’t want to be alone for a few hours, feel free to join.”

Kurt stayed silent for a moment. The thought of spending part of his weekend attending a Catholic Church honestly terrified him to no end, but the thought of spending an hour alone in his dad’s hospital room was so much worse.

He nodded. “Okay.”

* * *

Kurt walked into the church Blaine had given him the address to and was immediately greeted with his mother’s open arms. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Mary sighed. “It’s been too long. I’m so sorry about your dad.”

“Thank you,” he pulled back and gave her a smile that really wasn’t a smile. “We’re trying acupuncture but... nothing seems to be working.”

She squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Yet,” she corrected him. “You just gotta have a little faith, honey.”

Maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t as condescending as some of his friends in the New Directions, but somehow Kurt knew she wasn’t talking specifically about having faith in God.

He nodded. “I’ll try.”

She walked him to the pew where Blaine was already sitting, head bowed in silent prayer. Kurt slid into the bench next to him and Blaine lifted his head. 

He reached out for Kurt’s hand and gripped it tightly. “We always start off with prayer requests, and I wanted to ask you if it was okay to request one for Burt. It’s okay if it’s not okay. I just wanted to get your permission first.”

Kurt shifted in the pew uncomfortably, waiting for someone to come correct Blaine’s action or tell them they were disgracing the presence of God, but it never came. In fact, nobody seemed to really notice them as they were all too busy bowing their heads in silent prayer (and if anybody had anything to say about it, Kurt was certain that Mary Anderson would defend her son to the death).

Kurt finally nodded. “Yeah, that... I think that might be nice.”

Blaine raised his hand and the member at the podium acknowledged him. “My boyfriend’s dad—Burt Hummel—recently had a heart attack and is in a coma. I think he could use any help we can send his way.”

The member nodded and jotted down a quick note on the open notebook lying on the podium. 

She finally raised her palms upwards and started listing off a few items from the list, after each which the congregation responded with “ _ Lord, hear our prayers _ .”

Kurt’s head snapped up when he heard his father’s name.

“And finally, for Burt Hummel. That he may find the strength to keep fighting and eventually find his way back to us and his son who so desperately needs him.

“ _ Lord, hear our prayers _ .”

They went through the liturgy as planned: the First Reading, Second Reading, and Gospel. Finally the priest turned to the congregation and said, “Let us exchange the sign of peace.”

Everyone seemed to know exactly when to do what, and Kurt felt sort of like a fish out of water as everyone turned in the pews to exchange hugs and kisses and handshakes. He decided to just follow suit and whirled around to come see a tall and stocky man looming above him. Kurt almost turned right back around but didn’t get the chance to do so before the man tightly gripped his hand and shook it.

“Peace be with you, son,” he said in a gravelly voice.

Kurt nodded, his hand feeling too limp in the stranger’s hand. “Peace be with you,” he repeated.

As soon as the man let go of his hand, he was immediately pulled in by another set of familiar arms. “Peace be with you, Kurt,“ Mary said, tightening her grip around her son’s boyfriend.

She finally released him and Kurt felt a familiar pair of arms immediately scoop him up. “Peace be with you,” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s ear. 

Something about the way Blaine said those four words—like he really, truly meant them and wasn’t just going through the motions—made Kurt’s eyes spill over with sweet relief. Over the past few days, he hadn’t felt really settled until this very moment. He was safe in Blaine’s arms, no matter what happened. 

Kurt still didn’t believe in God, but he definitely believed that what he and Blaine had was special enough to last a lifetime or two. 

* * *

“Blaine took me to church on Sunday,” Kurt told his dad, only getting the steady beep of the heart rate monitor in response. He sat at his dad’s hospital bedside, wishing so deeply that he was awake to respond with an amused eyebrow raise and hearty chuckle.

“They do this thing called… what’s it called again, B?”

He turned to Blaine, who hadn’t left his side for this entire ordeal. He offered up Kurt a fond smile. “Exchanging the sign of peace.”

“Exchanging the sign of peace... and when this man who kind of reminded me of you shook my hand, this memory flashed through my head.

“Do you remember our first Friday night dinner after Mom died? You tried to make a chicken. I guess you wanted me to feel like there was something still normal. You put it on the table and you cut into it, and it was  _ raw _ . And we both looked at each other for a second and cracked up before we remembered that we weren't supposed to yet.

“I'm sorry about the other day, Dad. I should have let those guys pray for you. It wasn't about me. It was about you, and it was nice. I don't believe in God, Dad but I believe in you and I believe in us. You and me... That's what's sacred to me. And I’m… I'm so sorry that I never got to tell you that.”

As Kurt dipped his head to cry, Blaine draped an arm over his back, rubbing little circles around it.

After a few seconds, Kurt suddenly lifted up his head with a tiny gasp.

“Kurt?” Blaine asked in concern.

Kurt looked back at him with eyes that were almost afraid to be hopeful. “Blaine… I… I think I felt his hand move.” 

Blaine’s heart fluttered with hope for a moment before he swallowed nervously and looked down at Burt’s hand which amazingly, was moving.

“Oh… oh my god,” Blaine murmured. “Nurse Nancy!” he cried out frantically as Kurt gripped Burt’s hand even tighter.

“Dad? Dad, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Blaine knew Kurt didn’t believe in God, but as he watched Burt slowly regaining consciousness and reunite with his son, he couldn’t help but think that all of it—Burt waking up, Kurt and Burt’s strengthening relationship, and of course, the fact that Blaine had Kurt in his life—was nothing short of a miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non Canon-Songs: 
> 
> Piece by Piece by Kelly Clarkson  
> Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts


	4. Duets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: _Kurt_ **Blaine _Both_** :)
> 
> Am i going a little stir crazy and posting ahead of schedule? Yes. Sue me lol
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Adri who helped out a ton with this chapter!
> 
> Stay safe, stay entertained, enjoy!

The New Directions sat in the choir room, waiting for their normally punctual director to arrive on scene. A few moments later, Mr. Shue walked through the doors, a troubled expression on his face. “All right, let’s, uh, let’s gather around,” he said. “Sorry I’m late, guys. I was with Principal Figgins. Bad news, guys. Puckerman’s in juvie.”

“It really was just a matter of time,” Tina chimed.

“What did he do?” Quinn asked

“He drove his mom’s Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM,” Mr. Shue said, a disappointed tone coloring his voice. 

There was a mix of shocked gasps and unfazed chuckles.

“And when is he getting out?” Blaine asked in a concerned voice.

”Unknown.”

“He might be the dumbest person on this planet, and that’s coming from me,” Brittany laughed.

“Guys! Let’s have some sympathy,” Will scolded them.

“For a guy who put his needs before the team’s?” Finn said, his voice tense and aggravated. “We need his voice and his bad-boy stage presence!”

“We can’t look at this as a crisis. It’s an opportunity,” their Director said overly cheerily in an attempt to get the rest of the students on board with his idea.

“For what?” Quinn scoffed. “Further embarrassment and humiliation?”

“For welcoming our new member… Sam Evans!”

The blond haired boy who had made the football team as quarterback when Finn had gotten kicked off jogged through the open doors into the choir room. Blaine hadn’t had a conversation with him yet, but seeing as Sam didn’t go out of his way to be a total douchebag towards him like the rest of the team did, he figured this could be a good thing.

“Hey, everybody. I’m Sam,” the new kid said. “Sam, I am… And I don’t like green eggs and ham.”

After a slightly uncomfortable silence, Santana said bluntly, “Oh, wow. He has no game.”

“All right!” Mr. Shue clapped his hands together, refocusing the group’s attention on him. “Question for the group. What’s a duet?”

“A blanket.”

“No, Britt…” Blaine looked at her with astonishment. She was in desperate need of tutoring. 

“A duet is when two voices join to become one. Great duets are like a great marriage. The singers complement each other, push each other to be better. Now, some people may think…”

Mr. Shue’s voice faded off into the background as Kurt leaned over to his boyfriend and said very matter of factly in a hushed voice “He’s on team gay. No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993.”

Blaine felt something tugging at his gut at Kurt’s prediction. “Why does that matter?” he asked, trying to come off nonchalant and hiding the fact that he really meant to ask: Why does that matter to _Kurt?_

Kurt simply shrugged. “I guess it really doesn’t, but how amazing would it be to have a third member of the LGBT community at this school!”

_Why, so you can have other options?_

Like the flash of a camera, Blaine saw his father yelling at his mother from the passenger seat as they left the grocery store, her knuckles white as marble on the steering wheel. Blaine could tell she was trying hard to keep from letting out an audible sob as his father yelled, _If you want to have other options, go ahead and leave. Go ahead and leave your children fatherless, I’m sure they’ll thank you one day._

Blaine‘s heart leapt up into his throat. Where was all this coming from? Kurt loved him, he loved Kurt. Logically, Blaine knew that no washboard abs bearing, sun kissed skinned, bottle blonde was going to change that… he _knew_ that. 

On the other hand, he was no stranger to the fact that jealousy often lived outside the realm of logic. Maybe It lived closer to the realm of genetics. Just the thought sent a chill down Blaine’s spine. God, was he just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode the way his father had?.

Mr. Shue’s voice, brightening the way it did when he was on a concluding paragraph, broke Blaine out of his thoughts. “And that is what duets are all about! So, this week I want you to pair up and sing a duet. And, since you guys all seemed to love our little _Defying Gravity_ diva-off, I’m making this a competition.”

Blaine felt Kurt tense up slightly next to him, anger resurfacing at the incident, and gently squeezed his hand in reassurance. “You know you had my vote on that one,” he mumbled comfortingly, heart swelling when he saw Kurt’s scowl upturn into a supple smile. Even after all this time, there was something exhilarating about knowing he was the one who put it there.

“What’s the winner get?” Mike asked excitedly, refocusing their attention to the lesson.

“Dinner for two, on me…” Shue paused, holding two index fingers up in anticipation. “At Breadstix!”

There was a collective gasp and Blaine watched as his friends all chattered excitedly over the offer, not quite getting it. “Breadstix isn’t that good…” he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Santana must’ve heard him because she shot him an astonished look. “Are you kidding me, curls?” She asked. “They legally cannot stop bringing you breadsticks. I brought a barrel once and they tried to get me to leave. I called corporate and got their manager fired.”

“That’s… that’s awful,” he commented, absolutely horrified.

Everyone else seemed unfazed and Tina even exclaimed aloud, “Breadstix, yes!”

“Go forth and duet!” Mr. Shue announced. 

After Kurt had gathered up his things, he ran bounding up to Blaine enthusiastically. “Okay, so I was thinking we could do _I’ll Cover You_ from RENT since we already rehearsed it last year, all we would need are some refining touches, and if that doesn’t work out, we could always opt for something more mainstream like Somebody Loves You or American Boy—” he abruptly cut himself off at the sight of Blaine’s seemingly troubled face. “What?” he inquired grimly.

Blaine winced. “Quinn actually just asked me to be my partner when you were busy getting your bag together.” 

“Oh…” Kurt’s face fell. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed—”

Blaine suddenly barked out a startling laugh. “I’m totally screwing with you. What are we singing?” He snaked his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and pressed a quick peck to his lips.

Kurt faked a teasingly appalled scoff. “You can be such a jerk sometimes, you know that?” he scolded, a smile on his face. 

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“You’re right about that much. I really do.”

* * *

Blaine was rounding the corner, Quinn in tow while she begged him to let her be his partner.

“Please, B!” she whined. “It’s _Breadstix!_ You are one of the most talented people in that room, I can’t win without you!”

Blaine laughed at his best friend’s histrionics. “As flattered as I am by that sentiment, Curly Q—“

“Don’t call me that—“

“You started with Blainey Days,” he reminded her in a teasing sing-song voice before continuing. “Anyways, I am not bailing on the love of my life for this competition.” Breadstix might have been the most mediocre restaurant to ever come into existence, but there was no way Blaine was turning down the opportunity for a free date with his boyfriend.

Speaking of which, his smile brightened when he looked down the hall and saw Kurt’s back turned to him. It faltered when Blaine realized Kurt was talking to Sam Evans.

He reached out for Quinn’s hand and hurriedly dragged her over to the pair of boys.

The first thing Blaine heard out of Kurt’s mouth when he got to them was, “Okay, maybe you _are_ straight.”

“What?” both Blaine and Sam said in unison.

Kurt turned, beaming when he saw Blaine. “Blaine, Quinn! I was just telling Sam here about how duets absolutely _can_ be shared by two people of the same gender a la Gene Kelly.”

“Yeah,” Sam drawled out, looking at Blaine and Quinn’s intertwined hands with a hint of—disappointment, maybe? Blaine wasn't entirely sure. “Like I was saying, I think you and I might be the only members who don’t have a partner yet, so… do you wanna be my duet partner?”

Kurt laughed—he actually _laughed_. “I’m actually already singing with my favorite wide receiver here,” he playfully bumped his shoulder against Blaine’s. “Otherwise, I would absolutely offer my services.”

“You would?” Blaine asked defensively, earning a concerned glance from Kurt.

“Of course. We need to make all the members of the New Directions feel welcomed, both old and new.” Kurt smiled reassuringly at Sam, and Blaine found himself wishing dread wasn’t pooling in the pit of his stomach the way it was right now. “I think Quinn might be in dire need of a partner, if I’m not mistaken?”

“Oh?” Sam’s eyebrows flew up to his hairline. “So… you two aren’t doing this thing together?” He pointed to Blaine and Quinn.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Blaine started, doing his best to keep his ridiculous (and illogical, he kept reminding himself) jealousy at bay. “I love Quinn, but Kurt is my number one.” He slung an arm around Kurt’s shoulder in what he hoped was a gesture that told Sam to back off. “Besides, this will give you a chance to get to know someone else in the club a little better.”

Kurt looked back at Blaine adoringly, both of them completely missing Sam’s wildly confused expression. “Alright… Quinn?” He asked.

She gave one last pleading look towards Blaine, who only smirked and shook his head in reply. “Sorry, Q. Kurt gets dibs.”

She rolled her eyes to the heavens and sighed. Still, she smiled and took Sam’s hand to shake it. “Looks like you and I will be partners, Sam.”

* * *

Kurt, Blaine, and a few of the New Directions sat in one of the circular tables in the cafeteria. 

“What do you guys make of that new Sam kid?” Rachel suddenly asked.

Kurt shrugged. “I thought he was gay, but he didn’t even know Gene Kelly, so I may stand corrected.”

“Not knowing who Gene Kelly is doesn’t make him straight,” Finn said, mouth full of some off white pasta. “It just means he’s a normal teenager who’s never seen Willy Wonka.”

Blaine stared down at his tray, the already unappetizing meal suddenly becoming more unappealing. “He’s not gay,” he grumbled.

“What do you think, Quinn?” Tina asked. “You’re his duet partner.”

“I am, aren’t I?” She sent a teasing glare at Blaine before rolling her shoulders back. “I really don’t know. We’ve only had one practice together and he spent most of it talking about Avatar and speaking this weird language… honestly, could go either way?”

“I’m telling you,” Blaine started. “He’s not gay.” _If he is, that means he’s competition._

“You seem pretty adamant about that,” Santana pointed out. “Scared of not being the Alpha Gay of Glee Club anymore?” She smirked.

“I’m going to ignore the incredibly insensitive remark that just came out of your mouth,” Blaine scoffed. “I just don’t think that someone’s sexuality should be the discussion topic at lunch, that’s all.”

Kurt’s nodded in agreement. “Blaine’s right. Even though it’s hard not to be interested in a new kid—“ 

Did Kurt just say he was interested in Sam?

“We can’t afford to scare this guy off. If Puck isn’t back by Sectionals, we’ll barely have enough people to even compete.”

* * *

“What’s your type?”

Kurt looked up from the binder of sheet music he kept in his room as they searched for a duet for the competition.

“Typically tenor, but you know I’m versatile.” 

Blaine pursed his lips. “I’m serious, Kurt. What… what kind of guys are you typically attracted to?”

Kurt shrugged. “I honestly don’t know if I have a type,” he admitted. “All I know is that you’re ridiculously good looking, kind, smart, funny, and I love you more than anything in the world.”

His boyfriend’s reassuring words should have been enough to make him feel more settled, but they only sent Blaine’s mind racing in a completely different direction. “So… you don’t think you might meet someone else and realize that I’m not what you want?”

“Where is all this coming from?” Kurt asked. Blaine could hear the concern in his voice and realized that he should change the subject. 

“It’s nothing, I’m really just… curious, I guess. It doesn’t matter, we should really practice.”

“Blaine—“

“Ah, ah, no talking while rehearsing.”

“You’re talking right now?”

Blaine just pulled out his guitar and threw a playful smile at Kurt before plucking and strumming the opening to their first [ option ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA) for the duet competition.

**I met you in the dark, you lit me up  
** **You made me feel as though I was enough  
** **We danced the night away, we drank too much  
** **I held your hair back when  
** **You were throwing up**

_Then you smiled over your shoulder  
_ _For a minute, I was stone-cold sober  
_ _I pulled you closer to my chest  
_ _And you asked me to stay over  
_ _I said, I already told ya  
_ _I think that you should get some rest_

**I knew I loved you then  
** **But you'd never know  
** **'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go**

_I know I needed you  
_ _But I never showed  
_ _But I wanna stay with you_ **_until we're grey and old  
_ ** **_Just say you won't let go  
_ ** **_Just say you won't let go_ **

**I wanna live with you  
** **Even when we're ghosts  
** **'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most**

**_I'm gonna love you till  
_ ** **_My lungs give out  
_ ** ****_I promise till death we part like in our vows  
_ **So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows  
** **_Finally it's just you and me till we're grey and old_ **

**Just say you won't let go  
** _Just say you won't let go_

**_Just say you won't let go  
_ ** **_Oh, just say you won't let go_ **

As soon as the song was over, Kurt launched himself onto Blaine, crashing their lips together in as they melted into a fit of fluttering kisses and giggles.

“Are we still practicing?” Blaine teased. “Because I think if we do this in front of the glee club we might get disqualified.”

Kurt shook his head and tugged on Blaine’s shirt to pull them closer. “If we do this song on Friday,” he explained. “I literally won’t be able to help myself. So this one’s out. Besides, I think we need something that has a little more pizzazz.”

“I agree,” Blaine nodded. “The New Directions like Schtick and showy things, though I will definitely file away this song for our wedding.”

Kurt’s eyebrows rocketed up. “Our wedding? You think about marrying me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Alright, this clearly isn’t going to be a productive rehearsal. Especially if you keep saying things like _that_.”

Blaine laughed, but felt his phone buzz before he could come up with a bantering reply.

**New Message:  
** **From: Curly Q  
** _Well, I have an answer to the million dollar question…_

**New Message:  
** **To: Curly Q  
** **What?**

_Sam’s not gay._

**Wait, really? How do you know?**

_Because we were practicing and he tried to KISS me, B._

_I haven’t kissed anybody since last year and the last time something like this happened I got pregnant and kicked out of my house and I’m just not ready for this yet_

_I’m kind of freaking out_

“Ugh,” he groaned and threw his head backwards. 

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked.

Blaine just shook his head. “I think I’m going to have to have a chat with Sam about boundaries.”

* * *

The next day, Blaine barged into the locker room, knowing he would find Sam there, stretching before football practice.

“You tried to kiss her!?” he shouted, rushing up to Sam. ”Dude, that is _so_ not what I meant when I said get to know her!”

Sam rolled his eyes and gave a displeased grunt towards Blaine. “Look, the last thing I want right now is a lecture from Quinn’s boy toy, about staying away from other people’s girls, alright?”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “What is this, the nineteen fifties? I don’t _own_ Quinn. She’s not my girl, she’s my best friend… that’s why I came to talk to you, Sam.

“Quinn has… she’s been through a _lot_ this past year, dude,” Blaine continued. “So if she says she’s not ready to try something with you, she’s got her reasons, okay?”

“Is that why you haven’t made a move yet?”

Blaine cocked his head to the side in confusion. “What?”

Sam boldly took a step towards him. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you two are always whispering and giggling in glee club? The way you’re constantly holding hands and hugging her? You say you came to talk to me because she’s your best friend, but I really think it’s because you want her all to yourself!”

The realization hit Blaine like a sandbag being swung into his chest. 

Sam clearly thought that Blaine was harboring romantic feelings for Quinn, and what’s more, was threatened by him. The same way Blaine was initially threatened by Sam.

Even the bottle blonde, washboard abs, surfboarder from California got insecure sometimes. The seemingly inhumanly perfect new kid was just another McKinley High student, just another teenager like Blaine.

Blaine finally let a smile crack on his face and threw his head back with laughter. When he was done with his minor fit, he looked at Sam, who suddenly seemed so much less intimidating. 

“You’re not a natural blonde.”

Sam’s eyes went wide in horror. “Wh-What? Yes I am!”

Blaine shook his head. “No, you’re not. Do you know how I know that?” 

The blond dipped his head in defeat, realizing he should have paid more attention to his roots.

“Kurt, my _boyfriend_ , told me.”

Sam’s jaw dropped and he stared in stunned silence for a second. “Wait a second. You’re—“

“Queer as a three dollar bill.” Blaine chuckled again.

“But… You were holding her hand and she’s a cheerleader and you’re a football player and I just…” Sam shook his head in disbelief. “Sorry…” he apologized. “I’ve just uh, never met a gay person before and Kurt is kind of exactly what I was expecting, but… you’re definitely not.”

“Kurt is so much more than that, though,” Blaine explained.

“Ah, shit, no!” Sam floundered. “I didn’t mean to call your boyfriend a stereotype or anything—“

Blaine cut him off with a laugh. “I know. Kurt will definitely be the first one to tell you that your jacket is last season, but he’s also the one we call whenever we have car trouble. On top of that, he’s the most kind, caring, and compassionate person I’ve ever met. He was one of my first friends in glee club. He’s there when you need him, and anyone who’s got him in their life should know exactly how lucky they are.”

“Wow. Sounds like you two really love each other.”

Blaine smiled fondly, feeling a little silly at how irrational his thoughts had been. Kurt loved him, and not even someone as good looking as Sam Evans could change that. “Yeah, we really do.”

A comfortable silence settled between the two of them before Blaine sucked in a breath and continued. “Look, dude. You actually seem pretty cool,” he admitted. “But you did freak Quinn out a little.”

“I know,” Sam groaned. “It’s just those eyes, bro…”

“Yes, Quinn is beautiful—“ Sam gave him another confused glance and Blaine responded by rolling his eyes. “I’m gay, not _blind_. Anyways, you’ve still gotta learn to control yourself. Especially around her. I like you, Sam, but if you don’t take things at her pace, you’re bound to scare her off.

“I’ll talk to Quinn about finishing the duet competition with you, so long as you don’t try anything like that again with her before she’s ready.”

“Deal.”

* * *

Blaine was leaving the locker room after his encounter with Sam and he turned a corner to see Kurt shoving some books in his hallway. 

Kurt sensed Blaine and turned to give him a beaming smile. Blaine in return, looked at him lovingly and pulled him into his arms, cupping his face and bringing their lips together.

“I assume this has something to do with the really weird mood you’ve been in all week?” Kurt promptly suggested as they pulled apart. “Which, by the way, we really do need to talk about.” 

“I was being a total weirdo this week, you’re right.” Blaine admitted with a certain degree of embarrassment. “The truth is… I was jealous.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shot up. “Of..?”

“Of your interest in Sam.”

Kurt doubled over in laughter. “Interest? What interest? Blaine, you have to know, I only have eyes for you.”

“I know, but Sam was this new and exciting thing and I was just worried that… you might realize I’m not what you want.”

“I’m sorry you felt that way,” Kurt reached out and grabbed Blaine’s hand reassuringly. “But I’m mostly sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about how you were feeling. Blaine, if I ever did anything to make you feel that way—“

He hurriedly cut his boyfriend off. “No!” he assured him. “It’s definitely not anything you said or did, it’s just a me thing. Anyways, I sort of realized that I had nothing to worry about. You love me just as much as I love you.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better,” Kurt nodded. “Sam might be a pretty attractive guy but… he’s not _you_ , Blaine. He wasn’t my first kiss, he wasn’t there last year when we won Sectionals, and he wasn’t there to hold my hand through my dad’s health scare.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now let’s get to my place so we can practice and crush this competition.”

* * *

**_Lucky to be coming home someday  
_ ** **_Ooooooh, ooooooh  
_ ** **_Ooooooh, ooooooh_ **

Kurt and Blaine applauded furiously as Quinn and Sam each took a bow and reclaimed their seats in the risers.

“And finally,” Mr. Shue announced. “We have Kurt and Blaine!”

Kurt turned and sent a beaming smile to his boyfriend as they hopped on their chairs to the front of the classroom. They so had this in the bag.

They started facing away from their classmates, popping their shoulders as the syncopated strumming [ started. ](https://youtu.be/6Cs3Pvmmv0E)

Blaine was the first one to turn around and sing the first line, quickly taking a few steps up to Quinn in the first row and pointing at her. 

**Well I guess it would be nice  
** **If I could touch your body  
** **I know not everybody  
** **Has got a body like you**

Kurt spun around on his toes, holding up two index fingers on _twice._

_But I've got to think twice  
_ _Before I give my heart away  
_ _And I know all the games you play  
_ _Because I play them too_

_Oh but I  
_ _Need some time off from that emotion  
_ _Time to pick my heart up off the floor  
_ **Oh when that love comes down without devotion  
** **Well it takes a strong man baby  
** **But I'm showing you the door**

Kurt hopped over to Blaine's side during the pre-chorus, and during the chorus they began synchronized choreography, sliding to the side and turning each other.

**_‘Cause I gotta have faith  
_ ** **_I gotta have faith  
_ ** **_‘Cause I gotta have faith, faith  
_ ** **_‘Cause I gotta have faith, faith, faith_ **

**_Baby_ ** ,  
 _I know you're asking me to stay  
_ **Say please, please, please don't go away  
** **_You say I'm giving you the blues  
_ ** **_Maybe  
_ ** _You mean every word you say  
_ **Can't help but think of yesterday  
** **_And another who tied me down to loverboy rules_ **

**_Before this river  
_ ** **_Becomes an ocean  
_ ** _Before you throw my heart back on the floor  
_ _Oh oh baby I_ **_  
_** **_Reconsider my foolish notion  
_ ** **Well I need someone to hold me  
** **_But I'll wait for something more_ **

The suspenseful silence hung in the air for a moment and both Kurt and Blaine held their hands up, frozen in their positions with anticipation.

The music continued after a few beats of silence and they continued dancing, bright smiles on their faces. Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand and spun himself in as they sang the last part of the song. Kurt had his arms crossed in front of Blaine’s torso while the slightly shorter boy looked up at him adoringly.

**_Yes I've gotta have faith…  
_ ** ****_Mmm, I gotta have faith  
_ **_‘Cause I gotta have faith, faith, faith  
_ ** ******_I gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith ah!_**

As the pair held their final pose, the rest of the New Directions burst out into supportive applause.

“Alright! Let’s give it up for the boys!” Mr. Shue clapped his hands and announced supportively. “Now, everyone take a slip of paper and write down the name of the duo you think should win.”

When they were all finished doing so, Mr. Shue counted the tallies, lips making a thin line as he did so. “Disappointed, but not all that surprised to see that nearly everyone voted for themselves… nonetheless, we have our winners. It’s a tie!”

All twelve members threw their heads back and groaned. 

Their director scoffed. “It’s not one of those “everyone wins” kind of tie, guys. We actually just had a tie. Anyways, our winners are—drum roll, Finn.” The tallest member complied, patting his lap over and over again. “Sam and Quinn and Kurt and Blaine!”

“What!?” Rachel screeched. Finn reached over and calmly settled her down by placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“No me gusta!”

Sam shot his hand up into the air. “I voted for Kurt and Blaine because I support the gays.”

Kurt leaned over to Blaine and whispered, “He’s sweet, but I voted for us. We were so much better.” 

“Yeah, totally,” Blaine said quickly, taking Kurt’s hand and pressing a congratulatory kiss to his cheek. He realized this wasn’t the best time to bring up that he’d actually voted for Quinn and Sam in hopes of making the new student feel more welcomed. “I have no idea how they won.”

As Mr. Shue passed out the certificates, Blaine couldn’t help but think that if the rest of the year was as good as the first few weeks had been, it would be the best one yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> First duet: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur  
> Second duet: Faith by George Michael
> 
> both are originally solos, but I can image duet arrangements in my head lol


	5. Never Been Kissed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright, we all know what's happening in this chapter so brace yourselves
> 
> Buckle up fuckers its gonna be a bumpy ride

**_So here’s what you missed on Glee - Puck tried to steal an ATM and got himself stuck in juvie._ **

_ “As far as badasses go, I’m number one!” _

**_Sam and Quinn are sort of a couple, and so are Mike and Tina. Artie and Brittany went out, but then he sorta dumped her and now he sorta wants her back. Coach Beiste is pretty lonely, especially since Sue keeps trying to get her to quit. She even baked her a batch of cookies._ **

_ “Are those dog poop cookies?” _

**_Karofsky is a huge jerk, what’s new, but lately it seems like he’s been targeting Kurt the most._ **

_ “It just… feels more personal now.” _

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

Blaine gripped the sides of the giant metal tub with both hands and slowly dipped himself into the prickling cold ice bath. His muscles tensed up as he braced himself for the initial shock, but eventually relaxed the longer he sat there.

After a particularly strenuous workout on the field, cooling down his body was exactly what he needed. If you added to that the fact that he had to deal with thirty boys shouting over one another for nearly two hours, Blaine certainly didn’t mind the peace and quiet either. 

Said peace and quiet lasted approximately thirty seconds before Sam and Finn were suddenly barging in and plunging into the tubs on either side of him, Sam in the cold one and Finn in the hot one.

“How do you guys stand that cold tub?” Finn asked.

Blaine simply shrugged. “I like the cold. It’s intense, but like, in a good way.”

”And you?” Finn nodded to Sam.

“Get used to cold showers dating Quinn.”

“Didn’t need to know that,” Blaine grumbled.

Finn groaned sympathetically. “Been there, dude. Actually, still there now. How did we find the only two girls in high school that won’t put out?”

Blaine sighed exasperatedly and sunk down deeper into the tub, hoping the two boys would stop talking for five minutes.

They didn’t.

“What do you do, though?” Sam asked.

“Well, easy. I just think about the opposite of what I’m doing.”

Blaine snorted, recalling Finn’s confession from last year. “You mean you think about the time that you almost killed that mailman when your mom was teaching you how to drive for the first time?”

Sam looked at Finn in horror. “Yeah, that’s not gonna work for me.”

“Well, you gotta find something to be your own buzzkill. You know, something that is totally  _ not _ hot.”

“I don’t care!” They were suddenly interrupted by the sound of Coach Beiste yelling at some poor tight end for not wearing his jockstrap. “If you’re on this football team, you’ll wear a cup!”

“Hey, ever notice that when the Beiste gets all fired up, her underpants go right up her butt?”

“No.” Blaine wrinkled up his face. “Because I’m a normal human being.”

“Woah,” Sam said as Beiste yelled to the tight end something along the lines of  _ The Nutcracker _ not being just a musical (even though Blaine knew it was technically a ballet). “Did I just find my mailman?”

“Oh, god no,” Blaine pleaded. “Please, find another mailman. I don’t want to live with the burden of knowing you’re thinking of our coach when you’re making out with my best friend. Besides, that’s why they invented masturbation.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Sam stated. “Does Kurt not put out, either?”

Blaine felt his cheeks warm a tad at the mention of the topic, scolding himself for not knowing better that his teammates wouldn’t be able to have a mature discussion on this. “First of all, it’s not that he doesn’t  _ put out _ . That term implies that he’s keeping something from me that I’m entitled to, which I’m not. And neither are you to your girlfriends. We just… haven’t reached that level in our relationship yet.”

His mind flickered back to a memory from the summer, right before the school year started and he realized that statement is only about… 85% true, but he’ll spare his friends the gory details.

“Haven’t you been dating for like, seven months?”

Blaine was about to correct Sam and point out that they’d actually been dating for seven  _ and a half _ months before noting that that might make him seem like an incessant toddler arguing about his age.

“Wait a second,” Finn scrunched up his face in confusion. “Two guys can have sex?”

“What did you think they did, dude?” Sam asked. “Just sit around and talk about rainbows? Because I’m not gonna lie, that’s what I thought too when I first found out about gay people.”

“Alright,” Blaine groaned, picking himself up out of the tub. So much for peace and quiet. “I’m out. Have fun being weirdos, I’ll see you two in glee club.”

* * *

Kurt, Quinn, and Blaine all strode through the hallway on their way to Glee rehearsal.

“I take it we have a lot of sweater trends to look forward to this season,” Quinn said, pointing out Kurt’s outfit.

Before he even had a chance to respond, a meaty pair of hands was sending him flying across the hall and into the lockers. Blaine’s stomach dropped and Quinn gasped in horror at the intensity of it all.

She rushed to Kurt’s side, extending a hand to help him up. “You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.” He said through gritted teeth, rubbing the sore spot where his arm had hit the lockers. “Fine.”

“What the  _ hell!?” _ Meanwhile, Blaine hollered after the lineman. “I swear to god, Karofsky, next time I see you even  _ look _ at him—“ 

He sneered, rolling his eyes and turning around to face Blaine. “What, you think I’m afraid of you, hobbit?”

“I remember getting a few licks in last year out in the field, so maybe you should be.”

Kurt gripped Blaine’s shoulder and started pulling him away. “Lets go, guys. He’s not worth it.”

Blaine looked at Kurt, almost more affected by the incident than he was. “But you are.”

Kirt gripped Blaine’s arm, thankful that they had each other to help the other get through this. “That’s sweet, but I’m definitely not worth another black eye.”

Blaine opened his mouth to contest, but Quinn came rushing up to them. “What an asshole.” She muttered. Gently, she placed a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Blaine nodded. “I’m alright… just… angry.” He let out a sigh. “Can we just go to rehearsal? I don’t want to let Karofsky occupy my thoughts any more than he has already.”

“Agreed,” Kurt huffed.

Quinn nodded and led the way to the choir room.

“Alright guys take a seat,” Mr. Shue said right as the trio walked in. “Let’s get down to business! First, let’s welcome back Noah Puckerman. Puck, I hope your time in juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong?”

“Are you kidding me?” Puck asked. “I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day.”

“Oh, what a catch, can’t believe I ever let you go.” Quinn rolled her eyes.

Their director continued with announcements. “And now, drumroll, Finn! Because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month.”

“First, the acapella group from the all-boys private school in Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers.”

“Okay, hold up. Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head.” There were scattered giggles around the room, but Kurt and Blaine glared daggers at her. Blaine wondered if she’d be making light of the subject if she knew what had happened only moments ago.

William, as usual, did nothing to address the comment and continued. “And the other team to beat, the Hipsters. A first-year club from the township continuing education program. Now, they are a glee club composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school GEDs.”

“Is that legal?” Rachel asked.

“How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?” Mercedes lamented.

“Are you kidding? Brittle bones. Give one of those old ladies a good luck pat on the rear, it’ll shatter her pelvis,” Puck, in typical Puck fashion, added.

“Moving on. Since this seemed to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year, I wanna make this week our second annual boys versus girls tournament.”

There were mixed reactions from the choir sitting on the risers, and Mr. Shue raised an eyebrow.

“Is uh, there a problem?”

“Besides the boring and repetitive lesson plans?” Kurt grumbled. “Boys vs girls doesn’t challenge any of us.”

“I hate to say it, Mr. Shue,” Rachel started. “But Kurt’s right. We all know the girls have much more composite talent on their team than the boys do, given I’m on their team. And now that neither team will be disqualified due to performance enhancing drugs—“

Sam shot Blaine a confused and concerned look. Blaine just held up a hand in response and mouthed  _ don’t ask _ .

“I’m afraid this competition will be too easy,” she finally finished.

Though Kurt would never admit it aloud, he was grateful to have Rachel on his side because it meant Mr. Shue might actually take his concerns into consideration, taking into account his track record for favoritism.

“Alright…” their teacher started, mulling over the thought. “What if the girls do songs traditionally sung by men’s groups and boys do songs traditionally sung by women’s groups?”

The girls of the New Directions, always up for a challenge, nodded enthusiastically while most of the boys groaned and gave shouts of protest.

Rachel scoffed. “Of course the boys would be opposed to such a suggestion. They’re not true performers like us. They’re too scared to go out of their comfort zone and rely solely on their boyish charms to win, rather than displaying any forms of actual talent.”

Kurt had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the rest of the boys’ shocked and offended expressions, including Blaine’s.

“Come on guys,” Blaine started, sitting up a little straighter and showcasing that competitiveness in him that Kurt knew all too well. “Are we gonna let her show us up like that?”

“Hell no!” Finn shouted. “The guys are just as good as the girls!”

Kurt shrugged coyly. “Then maybe we should prove it.” He held back his smirk, but barely.

Artie nodded determinedly. “You’re damn right we will!”

“So it’s on, then?” Mercedes challenged.

“Oh it’s on,” Sam glared at them. “It’s on like Donkey Kong.”

* * *

“He really called his fist The Fury?”

“I would find the absurdity of it hilarious if it wasn’t so utterly terrifying.”

Kurt and Blaine sat on the latter’s bed, discussing the latest fit of aggression showcased by none other than McKinley high’s own Dave Karofsky.

“Neither of us are particularly strangers to his emotional terrorism,” Kurt started. “It just… feels so much more  _ personal _ lately. Like today, he brushed right past you and Quinn—which I am  _ so _ grateful for—and headed straight towards me. Like he had tunnel vision or something. I don’t know what I did to piss him off so much, or if it’s just my existence. I don’t know what to do anymore, Blaine. I don’t know how much more I can take, I just… I don’t know.” Kurt’s face crumpled and within an instant, Blaine had his comforting arms wrapped around him. “I’m so tired of having to fight every single day just to get to class on time. I’m tired of that constant knot in my stomach whenever I walk through these doors because he could be just around any corner I turn.”

Blaine felt frustration bubbling up inside his chest as Kurt cried helplessly into his shirt. This shouldn’t have been happening to anyone, but it sure as hell shouldn’t be happening to Kurt. All Blaine wanted to do was help him, but he had no idea how to, especially considering his solution was to run away like the coward he secretly was.

After a few moments, the paler boy lifted his head and looked up at Blaine with red and puffy eyes. He sighed. “Am I just being dramatic?” he asked. “Did I build this up in my head to be something it’s not?”

“Absolutely not,” Blaine assured him. “You have every right to feel the way you do, and just because everyone else brushes it off doesn’t mean you have to. And don’t forget that you have me here, too. I’m right by your side, no matter what. And if that means getting a couple of bruises from Karofsky—or anyone who wants to give you any shit, really—then so be it.”

“Absolutely not!” Kurt scolded him. “If you get expelled or have to transfer over protecting me, I would never forgive myself. High school is hardly bearable with you, and honestly, my life here would  _ suck _ without you.”

“Mine would, too,” Blaine added, reaching out and taking his boyfriend’s hand. “I need you to know that.”

“I do.”

“Good.” He nodded. “Because we’re going to let Karofsky know that he can’t break us. We’ll face him the way we do everything… together.”

* * *

“Now!” Kurt pointed a baton at a poster board filled with ideas that he’d come up with for the mash-up competition while the rest of the glee boys sat around him in the vacant classroom. “Obviously for this medley to work, I’m gonna have to sing lead, and of course when you’re singing Diana Ross, feather boas are a must.”

“Isn’t this lesson about opposites?” Artie mentioned. “I mean, you in a sequin gown and feather boa is exactly what you’d expect.”

“Okay, who said anything about a gown?”

“Uh, dude. Why don’t you make yourself useful and go put some rat poison in them old folks’ jell-o or visit the Garglers?” Puck suggested.

“Hey,” Blaine interrupted him, an edge to his voice. “Kurt  _ is _ useful. Need I remind you who made those awesome outfits—by hand, I might add—for last year’s Mash-Up Competition? We won because we worked as a team and played to everyone’s strengths.” He glared at Puck. “Not by ostracizing them.”

Finn looked down at the ground, eyes furrowed in confusion. “Are we gonna have to buy ostrich feathers?” he mumbled to himself.

Puck simply rolled his eyes. “Dude, you know that’s not what I mean.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Kurt spoke up. “Because I’m up in the death zone every day and you guys are safe here at base camp. I don’t need anymore shit thrown at me than what I get out in those hallways.”

Sam sat up straighter in his chair, leaning forward protectively. “Wait a second, is someone bothering you?”

Puck knitted his eyebrows together too. “Yeah, Kurt, if someone is ragging on you, say the word and I’ll kick some ass.”

“You certainly can  _ not _ do any ass kicking,” Artie chimed in. “Not without getting yours sent back to juvie.”

Puck scowled and sat back in his chair while Kurt scoffed. “Stop acting like you guys even care what happens to me. We all know the only person here who gives a damn about me is Blaine.”

There were shouts of protest throughout the room. 

“Really?” Kurt asked, crossing his arms. “How am I supposed to believe that you’d all defend me against guys like Karofsky when I have to defend myself against  _ you _ guys? Insinuating that I like to dress up in women’s clothing may not leave a bruise on my shoulder like being shoved into a locker does, but it still  _ hurts _ . Especially when it’s coming from people who are supposed to be some of my closest friends.”

The room was silent and still before Puck finally spoke up. “Shit, man… I had no idea.”

“Maybe that’s part of the problem,” Blaine said. “You guys don’t have any idea what it’s like to  _ be _ us.”

Sam nodded, seemingly the boy who understood what Kurt and Blaine were trying to say the most. “Artie was right, this assignment  _ is _ all about opposites. Maybe we should try and do some songs by gay artists, since most of us are straight,” he suggested.

“But we have to do songs by girls…” Finn pointed out.

Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose in mild frustration. “Lesbians exist, Finn.”

“I don’t know any songs by lesbians,” Mike admitted.

“Well, that’s what the internet is for,” Kurt added. Puck opened his mouth to say something (lewd, probably), but couldn’t get anything out before Kurt held an index finger up at him and preemptively shushed him. “Not a  _ word _ , Noah.”

* * *

**New Message:** **  
** **From: Blaine** **  
** **Courage <3 **

**See you in five**

Kurt smiled up at his phone as he made his way down the hallway. He began typing out a response to his boyfriend when a pair of hands suddenly knocked his phone out of his hands and pushed him across the hall.

He felt the impact of the sting for just a second before turning around and deciding that he’d had fucking  _ enough _ of this. 

“Hey!” Kurt called after Karofsky, chasing him down into the locker room. “I am talking to you!”

“Girls locker room’s next door,” the bully said nonchalantly, pulling his practice clothes away.

“What is your problem?” Kurt demanded.

“Excuse me?”

“ _ What _ are you so scared of?”

“Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?”

“Oh yeah, every straight guy’s nightmare, that all us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. Well guess what, Hamhock? You’re  _ not my type.” _

“That right?”

“Yeah. I don’t like chubby boys who sweat too much and are gonna be bald by the time they’re thirty.”

“Do not push me, Hummel,” Karofsky warned, fist colliding with steel.

“You gonna hit me?” Kurt challenged him. “Do it.”

“Don’t push me!”

“Hit me, 'cause it’s not gonna change who I am. You can’t punch the gay out of me anymore than I can push the ignormaus out of you.”

“Get out of my face!”

“You are nothing but a scared little boy who can’t handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!” he spat.

Kurt braced himself, ready for Karofsky to hit him like the absolute coward he was—using his fists instead of his words.

He was absolutely unprepared when the boy who had tormented him for the past two years brought a hand up to his face and pressed his mouth against his.

Kurt tensed up against the gesture, frozen in a combination of shock and sheer terror.

As Karofsky finally pulled away, Kurt felt tears pool up behind his eyes.  _ What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck, _ seemed to be the only thing his mind could supply. He wasn’t brought back to the real world until he saw the football player move in for what was presumably another kiss.

He shoved his hands against Karofsky’s chest, letting him know in no uncertain terms that another advance was not welcome.

The linebacker looked momentarily hurt, then slammed his fist into the locker before turning to stride angrily out of the locker room, leaving Kurt alone with his reeling thoughts and broken sense of security. 

_ What the hell just happened? _

* * *

Blaine waited patiently by room 206, their agreed meeting place, for his boyfriend to show up. 

Time ticked on, and the flow of students slowly came down to a trickle until the tardy bell rang and they all rushed to their classes. Blaine kept waiting, but Kurt was still nowhere to be found. 

Deep seated dread made its way to the surface. Something wasn’t right. 

Blaine dug his phone out of his pocket and quickly shot Kurt a text. 

**New Message:** **  
** **To: Kurt <3** **  
** **Where are you?**

**From: Kurt <3** **  
** _ I came home. I feel sick. _

**Sick how? Like sick sick or nervous sick? I can have a chicken noodle soup ready for one of those options and a pep talk for the other.**

His phone is silent for too long before he gets a response.

_ I did it.  _

_ Alone.  _

_ I should have never gone alone, B. _

**What do you mean?**

Kurt didn’t respond, so Blaine tried his hand at calling him. Three rings, then voicemail. He tried again, and it immediately went to voicemail. Blaine realized with a certain sense of uneasiness that Kurt was ignoring his calls.

He rushed out the metal double doors towards the parking lot.

Normally, Blaine wouldn’t condone skipping, but the sense of urgency gnawing at him told him that this was of the utmost importance. So he drove off the school grounds and headed right towards the Hummel household, throwing his car in park and jumping out as soon as he got there.

He furiously knocked on the door. “Kurt? Open up, please?”

Blaine paused, about to knock again when the door reluctantly swung open to reveal his boyfriend with red, puffy eyes, looking meek as ever.

He stepped inside and Kurt led them to the living room.

“What happened, Kurt?”

Kurt just sat on the edge of the couch, not able to meet his boyfriend’s gaze. How could he, when not an hour ago he had the most disgusting experience ever. He felt gross, and  _ violated _ , and dirty.

“What did you mean by you went alone? To confront Karofsky?” Kurt nodded, still not looking Blaine in the eye. “Oh, my god, did he hit you? I swear to god if he hit you—“

“He didn’t hit me,” Kurt finally admitted, lifting his head and looking at Blaine with watery eyes. “He  _ kissed _ me, Blaine.”

Blaine’s stomach dropped and his eyes went wide. “He  _ what?”  _ he asked in disbelief.

“You heard me correctly…” he confirmed

A whirlwind of emotions stirred within Blaine, but the most prevalent one seemed to be anger. If Karofsky really was gay, then he could have been on their side or taken a stand with them this whole time instead of tormenting them for the past two years.

“We have to go to Figgins about this, maybe even the police, Kurt,” Blaine said frantically. “What he did—that’s assault.”

“I know…” Kurt said almost contemplatively. “But I’m sure he’s having a hard time coming to terms with his sexuality—“

“Wait, are you defending the guy who’s made your life a living hell for two years?”

“I’m not defending him,” Kurt snapped. “But I  _ am  _ really freaked out right now, and a lot just happened, and I’m trying to process by thinking out loud and I don’t know what he’d even  _ do  _ if we told somebody…”

Blaine sank to his knees, grabbing Kurt’s hands and pressing their foreheads together. “It’s okay,” he breathed, realizing that he may have been overwhelming Kurt with all his prodding. “I’m sorry I’m just… really worried about you.”

“Yeah…” Kurt swallowed. “Me, too…” is all he said before burying his face back into Blaine’s chest.

Blaine tried to press a gentle kiss against Kurt’s hairline but felt the other boy recoil against his touch. He drew back and looked at him with concern. “I-I’m sorry, was that too… should I not have?” He asked.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to kiss me, B. I love you and you’ve never had to ask me before because we’re dating but…” Kurt shook his head. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”

“No I’m not,” Blaine assured him, wrapping his arms around him once more. “How you’re feeling is never stupid.”

“It’s just—I don’t… I feel really unclean right now and I don’t want to… contaminate you.”

Blaine’s heart flooded with sympathy. “Oh god, no, sweetheart.” He framed the sides of Kurt’s face with his hands. “You could never do that because you didn’t do anything wrong,” he explained. “I really need you to know that.”

“Yeah…” Kurt nodded. “Thank you.”

He held Kurt as he cried, trying to keep the swirling dread in his stomach from growing as he realized that his boyfriend now had the world’s biggest bullseye drawn on his back.

* * *

The boys stood in front of the girls, lined up in their maroon suits. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Blaine told Kurt in a hushed voice. 

“I do want to, though.” Kurt countered. “The rest of the guys are being supportive—in their own way—and I think we should encourage that.”

Blaine couldn’t help but look back at his brave boyfriend adoringly, even as the music started.

**_All I wanna get is (Ooh-hoo boy)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_A little bit closer (Ooh-hoo boy)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_All I wanna know is (Ooh-hoo boy)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can you come a little closer (Ooh-hoo boy)_ **

**_Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Here comes the rush before we touch_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Come a little closer_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The doors are open, the wind is really blowing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The night sky is changing overhead_ **

**_Saw your face, heard your name_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Gotta get with you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Isn't this why we came? Gotta get with you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new_ **

**_Always gonna steal your thunder_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Watch me like a dark cloud_ ** **_  
_ ** **_On the move collecting numbers_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'ma take your girl out_ ** **_  
_ ** **_We will be everything that we'd ever need_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Don't tell me, tell me what I feel_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm real and I don't feel like boys_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm real and I don't feel like boys_ **

The boys each rushed up to a different girl, dancing dorkily with them for a moment before dramatically turning their heads away on  _ boys. _

**_It's not just all physical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm the type who will get oh so critical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So let's make things physical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I won't treat you like you're oh so typical_ **

**_I want you close_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I want you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I won't treat you like you're typical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Here come the dreams of you and me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Here come the dreams_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Here come the dreams of you and me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Here come the dreams_ **

**_It's not just all physical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm the type who will get oh so critical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So let's make things physical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I won't treat you like you're oh so typical_ **

On this second chorus, the boys huddled around each other, lining up and draping their arms around each other. They pulled each other around in a semi-choreographed, sideways tug of war.

**_I want you close_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I want you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I won't treat you like you're typical_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I want you close_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I want you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I won't treat you like you're typical_ **

**_All I want to get is_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Girls like girls like_ ** **_  
_ ** **_A little bit closer_ ** **_  
_ ** **_All I want to know is_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Girls like girls like_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can you come a little closer_ **

Blaine looked at Kurt, smiling and having a good time with the rest of his teammates.

In this moment, things felt like they were going to be okay. Blaine thought back to what happened yesterday and hoped he was right.

**_Nothin new_ **

* * *

After the bell had rung and released them from the choir room, Kurt and Blaine walked down the hallway, hand in hand. It was after school, so when Dave Karofsky seemingly came out of nowhere and body checked Kurt like he was a tight end in a defensive drill, it caught both of the boys off guard.

Kurt slammed into the steel doors of the lockers and slid down to the floor defeatedly, looking equal parts terrified and broken. 

What killed Blaine wasn’t the look on his boyfriend’s face, nor was it the tears streaming down his cheek. What killed Blaine was watching as Kurt Hummel—the boy who  _ always  _ had an immediate comeback,  _ always  _ picked himself up and dusted himself off—curled his knees up to his chest. For the first time since Blaine had met him over a year ago, Kurt didn’t get back up.

As turbulent rage boiled within Blaine, he sprinted down the hall after Karofsky.

“Hey!” he shouted. 

Blaine had no idea what his intentions were when he rushed after Karofsky and grabbed his shoulder, but he was honestly just as surprised as the linebacker was when he drew his fist back and sent it flying into the side of his teammate’s face.

Dave clutched his face in pain before facing Blaine again, eyes ablaze. “What the hell, Anderson!”

“You know  _ exactly  _ what the hell!”

Karofsky charged at him, grabbing him by his jacket and pushing him up against the locker.

Blaine pulled back on the other boy’s shirt and threw him down on the ground, falling with him.

They scrambled, he and Karofsky throwing wild punches at each other the entire time. Blaine didn’t stop until he felt Kurt’s familiar body press between them in a valiant effort to tear the football players apart. “This has  _ got  _ to stop!” Kurt cried, still trying to push them away from each other.

“Kurt!” Blaine cried out. He immediately lowered his hands, not wanting to put his boyfriend in harm’s way.

It was obvious that Karofsky didn’t have the same concern as he still tried to hit Blaine, despite the innocent bystander in the midst of their skirmish. Blaine felt his stomach drop as he watched his teammate’s curled up hand collide with the side of his boyfriend’s face.

Kurt crouched down, clutching his face in pain. 

In an instant, Blaine was down by his side, about to check on him when out of seemingly nowhere, a teacher poked his head out of a classroom, seeing only the aftermath of the recent events. 

Karofsky lunged towards Blaine one last time, only to be stopped by the unfamiliar body of a teacher Blaine had never had for class before. 

“Alright, break it up, take it easy!” The teacher held his palms up to Karofsky. “Are you okay?”

“We’re fine—” Blaine started to answer before the teacher shot him a bewildered glare.

“Not you. I’m asking the guy you ran up to sucker punched.”

His stomach dropped. “No, I didn’t—” he tried to explain.

“Look, kid, I know what I saw. And unless you want me to get the principal involved, I suggest you two walk it off.”

Kurt snapped his head up at the mention of principal Figgins. “Let’s go,” he said hurriedly, scrambling up and all but dragging Blaine away down the hall as the teacher receded to his room.

Blaine wriggled his way out of Kurt’s grasp and whirled around, grabbing onto his shoulders. “Oh my god, Kurt, are you okay?” He gently lifted his face up to get a better look at the red area that would soon bruise over. “Shit…” he murmured, feeling the tears well up behind his eyes. “Your face, christ, your beautiful face…”

“I’m fine,” Kurt insisted, still deeply concerned for Blaine’s emotional state. “Are  _ you _ okay?”

“I just saw him and I thought about what he did to you, about what he’s  _ been _ doing to you and I just—“ His stomach plummeted as he made a dire realization. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

“This is  _ not _ your fault. I was the one who got in the middle of an ongoing fight, I put myself in that situation. And any bruise or cut I take for you is worth it, okay? Because you’re something worth fighting for.” The last thing Blaine expected from Kurt was a smile, but there it was, lighthearted as ever despite the recent events. “Is it weird that I’m kind of hoping for a scar?”

Blaine huffed out a laugh at the unexpectedness of Kurt’s comment. “Yes. That’s really weird.” A few moments of silence passed and his face sobered once more. “We have to tell Figgins.”

“No,” Kurt said firmly.

“What!?” Blaine shook his head with disbelief. “He pushed you down. He  _ hit _ you, Kurt. He...”

“Listen to me, B.” Kurt started, squaring Blaine’s shoulders. “That teacher seems pretty convinced of what he saw. And what he saw was that even though Karofsky did hit me, you hit him first...” Blaine knew Kurt wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty, but he couldn’t stop the feeling nonetheless. “You were in enough trouble last year, and if we go to Figgins about this, he’ll call in David, who will tell him it was self defense, and he’s got a teacher to corroborate that story. It would be our words against theirs. And if your mom finds out she just might revisit her old idea to transfer you out of here and—” He cut himself off, drawing in a shaky breath. “What we have... is  _ so _ important to me. I won’t risk losing you.”

The last thing Blaine wanted was to leave McKinley. Just the thought of not seeing Kurt every day made his heart clench. 

“I’m sorry...” was all Blaine could muster up. He had never felt so damn useless before. It was his oath to keep Kurt from the bullshit he went through in middle school, and he had utterly failed. He was supposed to protect Kurt, but here Kurt was, protecting Blaine from his own stupid impulses.

Kurt gently caressed Blaine’s hair, staring intently into his eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for...”

As they walked out the door towards Blaine’s car to head home, he was only able to churn out one thought. 

_ I wish I could believe you. _


	6. The Substitute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Shoutout to Esperanto, Britney, and LiesAdventure, your comments GIVE ME LIFE! And also help me stay sane lmao
> 
> A huge thanks to my Beta, [Adri](https://somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com/), who has worked wonders on the upcoming chapters hoooooooooooo boi yall just fucking wait
> 
> Enjoy!

**_Here's what you missed:_ **

**_Will's wife put the "Terri" in "terrible"relationships. So now, she's his ex-wife._ **

_ “What is wrong with you?” _

**_Karofsky's been coming after Kurt, and nobody knows why._ **

_ “You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!” _

**_Kurt knows why, but he hasn't told anyone except Blaine, and that set him off pretty bad._ **

**_And that's what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

Blaine had no idea what to expect the first glee rehearsal after Mr. Shue had gotten that weird monkey flu and tried to call a babysitter for them, but he wouldn’t put Puck rubbing a stick of butter on the floor by the entrance of the choir room at the top of his list.

“Uh, what are you doing?” he asked, carefully stepping around the slick area.

“Your boyfriend got us a substitute, so I’m buttering the floor,” Puck replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Isn’t that a safety hazard?”

“Hey, Baggins,” Artie nodded his head towards Blaine. ”We’re all gonna swap names, yo.”

Just then, Rachel strode into the room with the confident air she always possessed. “Um, did I hear something about a substitute?” She walked forward intently, completely unaware of the patch of butter, and ended up falling backwards right on her butt with a loud yelp.

“Yes!” Pick exclaimed, bringing his fist in towards himself with pride. “It works!”

Rachel picked herself right up and dusted her skirt off in a huff, heading towards the risers as Mercedes, Tina, and Artie all suppressed giggles at the comedic sight. “Well, at least I didn’t fall and break my talent.”

A few seconds later, a tall blonde woman came strutting through the door, and before Blaine could even warn her about the butter, effortlessly glided across the slippery floor in a quick stride. 

Blaine was actually impressed, while Artie seemed startled. “Oh, what the hell?”

“Hola, clase,” the substitute said. “Nothing says  _ bienvenidos _ quite like a buttered floor.”

Behind her, Kurt came striding in, as blissfully unaware of the slippery surface as Rachel had been. He stepped on the butter and was immediately sent flying backwards, legs soaring up into the air. 

Blaine reached out to try and help him keep his balance, grabbing Kurt’s arm. His efforts to keep his boyfriend stable only backfired when Kurt ended up pulling Blaine down with him, toppling over each other.

“Just a minor  _ slip _ up,” Blaine mumbled before smiling and giving Kurt a quick kiss on the cheek.

Kurt groaned and threw his head back while Finn backed Blaine up on the drums with a comedic sting. “Don’t encourage him, Finn!”

The substitute lolled her head towards them. “As cute as that was, I think it’s time to start with some introductions. My name is Holly Holliday. What’s yours?” She whipped her head towards Puck, likely sensing that he was the biggest trouble maker of them all. “Go.”

Puck straightened his posture and fixed an imaginary bow-tie. “I’m Blaine Anderson, the two things I love most in this world are bowties and being gay with my boyfriend.”

Blaine opened his mouth to protest before realizing that, although dramatized, Puck had a point...

“I’m Rachel Berry,” Santana said evenly. “Finn Hudson’s loud, loud girlfriend.”

Britttany spoke up next with a simple, “I’m Mike Chang.”

“Those aren’t your names,” Holly said, indicating she knew better than to trust them to tell the truth. “You know why I know that?”

“You’re psychic?” Brittany asked.

“I know this because I recently watched a video of you guys performing at Regionals, where you came in  _ last _ .” 

Dead silence fell across the room as the New Directions were faced with the added salt in the old wound.

“Maybe it’s because the songs were about 30 years old, but…”

“Those songs are classics,” Finn defended.

“Those songs are amazing.” Holly agreed, turning to face him. “But they sounded like somebody else’s favorite songs. Not yours. Just sayin’. I’m not your average, run-of-the-mill substitute teacher. I want you guys to do things that you want to do. I want you to have fun in our fabulous but fleeting time together. What do you say we have class outside today?”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s raining.”

“Well, then let’s take a field trip to Taco Bell!”

There was some laughter and murmurs of agreement.

“Should we take up some medical-grade marijuana?” Ms. Holliday asked. Blaine narrowed his eyes suspiciously before breaking out into a smile when she continued, indicating she was joking. “I wish.”

Yes, Mr. Shue has been their director for some time now, and they’d all grown attached, but Blaine and the rest of the New Directions were finding it hard not to like this woman.

“Okay, no.” Rachel interrupted. ”We can’t just goof off all day. We have to write a set list for sectionals.”

Blaine groaned. “As much as I hate to agree with Rachel—which, I really, really do—she’s right. We almost got our asses handed to us last year and Sectionals was… rough for a lot of us.”

“Okay,” Ms. Holliday nodded. ”What songs would you like to do?” She was simply met with stunned silence. “Oh. Don’t get asked that question much, do we?

“Ms. Holliday is right,” Kurt said, throwing his arms out in frustration. “Mr. Shuester’s setlist sometimes seems like he hasn’t listened to the radio since the '80s.”

“He never listens to what I have to say,” Puck said, looking down at the floor pathetically.

“Maybe because of the whole slashing tires thing,” Mike mused. 

“No need to revisit that,” Blaine added quickly. “I think Puck was referring to when he suggested Forget You, and Mr. Shue flat out ignored him and kept looking for a Journey song we hadn’t done yet.”

Ms. Holliday snapped her fingers and pointed at Blaine. “Cee-Lo! That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Snap. Okay, excuse me?” Santana started. “What would you know about Cee-Lo? 'Cause you’re like, forty.”

“Top 40, sweet cheeks. Hit it!”

**_I see you driving round town with the guy I love_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’m like forget you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooo_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’m like forget you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooo_ **

**_Now I’m sorry I can't afford a Ferrari_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But that don’t mean I can’t get you there_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Guess she’s an Xbox and I’m more an Atari_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But the way you play your game ain’t fair_ **

**_I pity the fool who falls in love with you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooh I say he’s a gold digger_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just thought you should know_ **

**_Ooooh I got some news for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I really hate you right now_ **

Holly paraded around the room, urging students out of their chairs. It didn’t take much prompting for her to get Blaine up and dancing.

**_I see you driving round town with the guy I love_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’m like forget you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooo_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’m like forget you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooo_ **

**_Now baby baby baby why you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Wanna wanna hurt me so bad? (So bad, so bad)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I tried to tell my momma but she told me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_“This is one for your dad” (Yes She did)_ **

Blaine pulled Kurt up from his chair, singing along with Artie and Mercedes on the bridge. Kurt rolled his eyes teasingly at Blaine’s typical goofiness, but smiled anyways. Kurt tugged him close and danced and sang along with the rest of the class.

**_Now why (why?)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Why? (Why?)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Why baby?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I love you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I still love you!_ **

**_I see you driving round town with the guy I love_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’m like forget you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooo_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’m like forget you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ooooo_ **

The song ended and Blaine pulled Kurt in for a great big hug, high off of the fun this ensemble had been lacking for some time now.

“Let’s go get some tacos!” Holly announced.

She was met with cheers by the rest of the group.

* * *

“Blaine Devon Anderson, if I have to tell you to clean your room one more time, I’m revoking hair gel privileges!”

Blaine groaned and tossed his head back, wishing his mom understood that chores were for the weekend, when he actually had time. Right now, Kurt was sending him links to funny videos, and he had to respond or else he’d think Blaine was ignoring him. Focusing on cleaning his barely messy room definitely took a back seat to imagining his boyfriend’s laughing face. 

Especially after what happened with Karofsky.

_ “I smell like beef... I smell like beeeeeef!!!” _

Blaine brought a hand to his face to cover his obnoxiously loud laugh.

**New Message:** **  
** **To: Kurt <3** **  
** **You’re making me laugh my ugly laugh**

**From: Kurt <3** **  
** _ You don’t HAVE an ugly laugh, hon _

_ Everything about you is gorgeous and if you don’t agree, I’m blocking you. No one rags on my boyfriend, not even my boyfriend! _

He heard his mother’s voice call out to him once more.

“Don’t make me threaten to take away boyfriend privileges, too,” she warned, poking her head through his door. 

His eyes suddenly widened and he chucked his phone into the bed after typing out a brief explanation to Kurt. 

“I’m going, I’m going! No need to get crazy.”

She threw him a smirk before heading away. Mary Anderson definitely knew how to play her cards right.

Fifteen minutes later, Blaine had finished picking up any clothes strewn about the floor, made his bed, and vacuumed his rug. He was beginning to regret leaving the most intimidating task to the end: his desk.

With a heavy sigh, he trudged over and flopped down on his chair, sorting through the many piles of old assignments that he refused to throw away and other miscellaneous papers. He was shuffling through a heap of old Chemistry worksheets when something navy blue fluttered out of the pile down to the floor and caught Blaine’s eye.

He cocked his head in curiosity. It didn’t look like an assignment, and it didn’t look familiar enough to be one of the many glee club flyers they had designed. He set the stack aside and reached down to pick up the pamphlet that had fallen. Memories from the previous year came flooding in as he turned it over to reveal a front with a large, red, calligraphic “D” emblem resting on a simple crest. 

_ “But they do have a zero tolerance bullying policy.” _

His mother’s concerned voice echoed in his ears for a moment before the dots connected. This was the school his mom wanted him to transfer to last semester. 

_ This _ was his answer to the Karofsky situation. 

If Kurt transferred to Dalton, he wouldn’t have to deal with Karofsky anymore. Hell, with their zero tolerance policy, he wouldn’t have to deal with anybody’s crap anymore. It was all too perfect.

Blaine tucked the pamphlet away in his backpack for later, almost unable to contain his excitement over showing Kurt this new,  _ safer  _ alternative to attending McKinley High.

* * *

“Question for you,” Kurt spun around to be faced with the same person who had given him the bruise on his cheek. “You tell anyone else what happened? How you—you kissed me?”

“You kissed me,” he corrected him. “And I understand how hard this is for you to deal with, so no, I haven’t told anyone.”

“Good. You keep it that way…” Karofsky huffed. “Because if you do, I’m gonna  _ kill  _ you.” With that, he turned and stormed off.

After that horrifying encounter, all Kurt could do was stay frozen for a moment, hand clutching the edge of his locker so tight that he didn’t let go until he worried it might draw blood. He took a few deep, trembling breaths, trying to keep the shaking in his hands to a minimum. However, he found that he couldn’t stop shaking the entire way to the cafeteria, not even after he sat down next to Blaine.

He hadn’t even gotten a tray, too afraid he might run into the closeted lineman in the line. The usually deafening chatter in the cafeteria was drowned out by Kurt’s reeling thoughts.  _ He said he’d kill you… He said he would  _ **_kill_ ** _ you. Oh god, does he know you told Blaine? Is he going to try and hurt Blaine, too? He can’t have been serious, right? But he is terrified of people finding out he’s gay…  _

“Are you alright?” Blaine asked, clearly sensing something was off.

Kurt swallowed dryly and nodded, not meeting Blaine’s gaze. “I’m fine.”

“You are clearly not fine,” Blaine contended. 

“I said I’m  _ fine _ ,” Kurt snapped, barely able to keep the tears at bay.

Blaine felt his heart clench at seeing Kurt like this. Something must’ve happened with Karofsky, but he certainly didn’t want to push any further. Instead, he just reached out and took Kurt’s hand in his.

Kurt let out a sigh of relief, immediately feeling more grounded. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that… it’s just… been a rough day.”

Blaine nodded understandingly, wishing he could do more than just that.

From a nearby table, they both suddenly saw Mercedes stand up from her table where she was sitting with Artie and Tina, and raise up a notebook with “TOTS” written in bold marker.

A random girl a few tables down nodded emphatically and raised her fist in support. “Tots!”

“Oh, my God…” Kurt mumbled in astonishment.

Slowly, every student in the lunch area began chanting along to Mercedes’s cause. Quietly, at first, but it eventually crescendoed into a full on fortissimo.  _ “Tots! Tots! Tots! Tots! Tots! Tots!” _

As the cafeteria erupted into pandemonium, Kurt and Blaine stared on incredulously for a moment before turning to each other and burst out laughing.

* * *

“Hey, babe?”

Kurt looked up from the textbook he was reading and Blaine couldn’t help but drink in the image of his boyfriend lying stomach down on his bed, legs bent at the knees and swishing lightly in the background, a gentle smile on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Have you considered... switching schools?”

Kurt cocked an eyebrow. “And why on earth would I transfer?”

Blaine glared at him, resenting the way Kurt was trying to minimize the past week’s recent events. “Uh, because Karofsky is a psychopath?”

Kurt would have been lying if he said the thought of seeing Karofsky again didn’t instill a fear he had never experienced before in him. But there was no way in hell he was leaving McKinley, especially if that meant leaving Blaine behind. He was certain that their love could survive long distance, but just the thought of only seeing Blaine after school and on the weekends (not to mention not being in the New Directions together anymore) made his chest feel like a vacuum, ready to collapse from the emptiness.

“I’m not afraid of him,” Kurt finally answered. “Besides, you guys could never win Nationals without me.” He tossed a sly grin at Blaine, hoping to lighten the mood.

“I’m not kidding, Kurt.” He pursed his lips, hoping Kurt would see how serious he was about this. “Last year, when we were looking at other schools, my mom found this,” he reached across the desk and handed the pamphlet, pressed smooth from spending so long stuck between thick packets of paper, to Kurt. “They have a zero tolerance bullying policy.”

Kurt made it a point to not even glance at it, never tearing his stubborn gaze from Blaine. “Last year,” he reiterated. “When you almost left to Carmel, it nearly destroyed me.” He placed a gentle hand on Blaine’s cheek. “You’re not just my boyfriend, you’re my  _ best _ friend. I can’t imagine a life here without you. I have you here, and Karofsky can never take that away.”

“Kurt,” Blaine said with a warning tone. “You might not  _ have _ a life if you stay here.” God, he was really starting to sound like his mother… and he was beginning to understand her motives, too.

Kurt froze. “What do you mean? Did he threaten you, too? God, Blaine, I swear, if he did anything to you—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Blaine said in a rush, shaking his head. “What do you mean did he threaten me  _ too?” _

“I… Nothing. It’s nothing.” Kurt gnawed on his bottom lip and Blaine’s stern expression. “He just… might’ve mentioned something about... killing me if I told anyone,” he finally admitted in a small voice.

Blaine’s stomach was overcome with an influx of queasiness and his heart pounded until he could feel his pulse in his ears. “That is—that is not  _ nothing _ , Kurt!”

“He probably wasn’t serious,“ Kurt replied, feigning as much nonchalance as he could.

“That was a threat on your life; it sounds pretty serious to me. We have to tell your dad—”

“And give him another heart attack?” Kurt scoffed. “Absolutely not. He has enough to worry about, I won’t let him stress over this.”

“If there’s something to be stressed about, it’s this!” Blaine scolded. “I think Dalton is—”

“No,” Kurt said firmly. “I’m not transferring.”

“Why not?” Blaine pleaded.

“Because,” he started. “As crazy as McKinley High gets, I love it.” He looked fondly to Blaine. “I love  _ you… _ and I love being a part of the New Directions. I’m sure Dalton has great amenities and is almost certainly a better school that this one, but it could never be a suitable substitute.” He smiled widely. “I mean, come on, where else are we going to completely crack up laughing when a riot breaks out over tater tots?”

“You’re right about that,” Blaine huffed a laugh before turning grim again. “I just don’t want you to dismiss a good idea because it might not necessarily be convenient.”

“Nothing worth fighting for is ever convenient,” Kurt said assuredly. “Karofsky can throw everything he’s got at me, but I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

The new Directions exploded into applause when Mr. Shue walked in and announced that he’d been reinstated as their full time show choir director. Though, a few members followed along cluelessly, not really knowing he’d been replaced at all.

“All right, all right, thank you very much, guys.” Mr. Shue calmed them. “Please, please, sit down. Just… Thank you… For that and… and for all the kind words you said about me to Sue. The feelings are mutual. Now, we got to get crackin’, though. We lost a few days there, and it’s all gonna be about focus and hard work for the next couple of days.”

“I guess Ms. Holliday really is gone…” Puck said dismally.

“I know you guys liked her, and she was a lot of fun, but she and I both agreed that this is what was best.” Mr. Shue pointed out.

“Don’t get us wrong, Mr. Shue, we always wanted you as our teacher,” Blaine said. “She was just kind of a nice break.”

“She did loosen us up,” Quinn agreed.

“And she actually had some good ideas for a sub,” Artie added.

“Yeah. I get it. And maybe we can, uh, incorporate those…  _ after _ sectionals. Now, when I’m sick, there is only one thing that makes me feel better.”

“Gin and juuuuuiiice.”

“No…” Mr. Shue said confusedly. “Singin’ in the rain! I must’ve watched it, like, ten times over the past three days. It’s actually what inspired me to try this out as a contender for our first song at sectionals.”

“When is the song from?”

“Well, the movie opened in 1952. But-but… but it’s… But it’s really timeless.” The choir director stumbled a bit as he watched the members’ faces slowly fall from their initial smiles. “You know what? I have an idea. Run through your warm ups and meet me in the auditorium in 15 minutes.”

Though more than a little confused, the New Directions complied (and all collectively rolled their eyes when Rachel volunteered herself to run warm ups).

A few minutes later, they all walked into the auditorium to see Ms. Holliday on the stage. 

“Ms. Holliday!” they cried excitedly. 

“Hola clase,” she said with a shit eating grin. “This was Mr. Shue’s and I’s way of sending you off with a little history and a little fun… Hit it!”

**_I’m laughing at clouds_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So dark up above_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’m singing, singing in the rain_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_You can stand under my umbrella_

The situation with Karofsky might’ve been pouring down hard on Kurt, but it felt nice knowing he could always stand under the umbrella of Blaine loving him.


	7. Furt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so sorry

**_Here’s what you missed on Glee: Kurt’s still getting harassed and doesn’t know what to do about it._ **

_ “I am gonna kill you.” _

**_Finn and Kurt got mad at each other, because Kurt had a crush on Finn, and then Finn called him a nasty name, and their parents are dating, so it’s a little awkward._ **

**_Blaine really thinks Kurt should transfer to get away from Karofsky, but Kurt definitely doesn’t want to leave McKinley._ **

_ “I could never leave… I have you here.” _

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

Finn was at his locker, putting some things away when two people he wasn’t expecting to see at school today—his mom and Burt—came striding up to him excitedly with Kurt squeezed between them.

“Oh. What’s going on? Is this one of those interventions—” Finn asked before Kurt answered him.

“If it is, it’s for the both of us. They bombarded me and forced me to bring them to you.”

“Okay, come on, tell 'em.” Burt addressed Carole, smiling widely.

“No, no, no, you. Come on,” Carole prodded him.

They went back and forth like that for a few more moments before deciding that Burt would be the ones to tell the boys… whatever they were going to tell them. 

“All right,” He started. “So you know how I drive Carole to work every Tuesday? Well, today I drove here, and we snuck into that classroom where Kurt introduced us…very romantic of me, I might add… And I—”

“He proposed!” Carole exclaimed. “He proposed!”

“You stole the punch line!” Burt exclaimed happily.

“Wow.” Finn seemed dumbfounded. “This just happened?”

“Oh, Dad!” Kurt sighed happily, already throwing his arms around both Burt and Carole.

“We wanted the two of you to be the first to know,” Carole said.

“Yeah, after the kids in that homeroom.” Burt opened his arms for Finn to join them. “Come on, family hug, huh? Okay. Come on!” 

He did, if a bit reluctantly.

“Oh, my God, this is just what I needed,” Kurt said excitedly. “I will take care of it from here. I have a trunk full of wedding magazines hidden under my bed. I’m thinking of a russet and cognac theme. Those are colors, Finn. Fall wedding colors. Autumnal.”

“Nothing too extravagant, Kurt, okay?” Burt said. “We’re gonna use whatever savings we have, we’re spending it on the honeymoon. That’s right. We’re going to Waikiki. We’re gonna go to the hotel where they put up the guest stars on Lost.”

“Finn,” Carole said a bit worriedly. “You–you haven’t said anything.”

“Uh, I’m…I guess I’m just kind of stunned.”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Burt assured him. “I’m already looking for a bigger house. One where everybody’s gonna get their own rooms. All right?”

“Come on, honey. Be happy for me,” Carole pleaded.

Finn nodded solemnly. “I am, Mom.”

“All right, now listen Kurt—Mr. Wedding Planner—I want you to take care of one thing. I don’t care about the food or the booze at this party, but I want one heck of a band. I’ve been eating right. I’ve been exercising. And I want to  _ boogie _ with Carole at this wedding. And I will boogie!”

“All right. It’s already taken care of, Dad,” Kurt said with confidence. “I’m going to hire the New Directions as your band. Right? It won’t cost you a cent. They’re cheap, they’re available. Long story short… you’re having a Glee wedding!”

* * *

“I can’t believe your dad and Carole are getting married!” 

Kurt smiled fondly over at Blaine. “I’m just so glad he finally got to find someone who makes him happy. Things are looking up for the Hummel men.” 

Blaine hummed happily as they walked hand in hand to their lockers, pausing to put their things away before their next block.

As they were shoving books in, Finn walked up to them. “Hey, uh, so I’ve been reviewing this itinerary, and I don’t really get it. Are you sure we should release 300 live doves indoors? Won’t that get kind of messy?”

“That’s why we feed them  _ glitter _ , Finn.”

Blaine ducked his head and stifled a laugh. 

“Oh. Well, look, I’ve been thinking about it. I really want to do something special for the wedding, and I wanted to take this opportunity to sort of remind everyone that I’m, you know, a leader.”

“I have the perfect idea. After you walk your mom down the aisle, and give her away to my dad—”

“Incredibly creepy,” Finn chimed in.

“And give your speech to the newlyweds…which I will write, although you are free to suggest overall themes… you and Carole will have a lovely mother-and-son dance in front of everyone.”

“Ah, that’s a terrible idea. Everybody knows I’m the worst dancer.”

“Finn, trust me on this. I’ve been planning weddings since I was two. My Power Rangers got married and divorced in so many combinations, they were like Fleetwood Mac.”

“I guess if I could pull it off, it would make me seem like a cool stud.”

Kurt leaned in and gave a smile to his future step-brother. “Totally.”

“Thanks.” Finn gave Kurt a pat on the back. “It’s a plan.” 

Finn turned to head to his next class, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone.

“Woah,” Blaine suddenly said, eyebrows raising slightly. “You guys are going to be like, brothers… that’s weird. And kinda cool.”

“I mean, I’d like to think it’ll mostly be a positive exp—” Kurt suddenly froze, his eyes looking past Blaine in terror.

Blaine looked back to see what had his boyfriend so terrified. He should have known it would be Karofsky making his way towards them. He seemed to pause and give his path a second thought when he finally noticed Blaine standing in front of Kurt.

They stared each other down for a moment, both of them cornered—Karofsky trapped by the knowledge that if he dared come any closer to Kurt, Blaine would have no problem tackling him to the ground, and Blaine by the fact that he really couldn’t afford to.

Karofsky froze right where he stood, took one look at Blaine standing protectively in front of Kurt, and walked away.

Kurt let out a shaky sigh of relief as Blaine rushed to his side, smoothing down his hair comfortingly. “Are you okay?”

Kurt didn’t say anything, just shook his head as tears began to well up in his eyes.

“That’s it,” Blaine murmured. “We’re going to the Principal.”

* * *

“Did he physically hurt you?” Sue asked.

First and foremost, the boys were quite shocked to see Sue in the principal’s office. They’d asked her why she was in here, to which she explained that she was acting principal in Figgins’s absence.

Blaine was certain she’d sold her soul to get that sort of control on the school.

“No,” Kurt finally answered.

“You said he’s shoved you into the lockers before,” Mr. Shue chimed in. 

“Well, I can’t expel a kid for shoving.” Sue lamented. “He’ll just say,  _ I didn’t mean to shove that kid, I tripped! _ Excuse works like a charm. I use it all the time.” 

“He didn’t shove me this time,” Kurt admitted. ”He just…terrified me.”

“Lady, I can’t suspend a student because he scares you. High school is a dry run for the rest of your life. It’s rough. People can be mean.”

“That’s your advice?” Mr. Shue asked angrily. “That’s all you have to say?”

“William, I was bullied my entire life. I grew up with a handicapable sister. I know very well how cruel people can be. Was it difficult? Yes. Did it make me stronger? You bet it did.”

“It’s the fear that’s the worst.” Kurt started, the terror in his voice all too apparent to Blaine. “I never know when it’s coming, I can’t concentrate, I don’t feel like I’m part of this school at all. I feel like I’m in a horror movie where this creature follows me around, terrifying me. And there’s nothing that I can do about it?”

“Exactly,” Blaine added. “I mean, you… You don’t know what’s going on in this guy’s head. You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

Their choir director looked at them suspiciously. “What does that mean.”

“Nothing,” Kurt said sharply. “He’s overreacting.”

Blaine opened his mouth to protest, but Sue leaned in towards Kurt and continued before he had the chance. “Lady, this kid lays a finger on you, you come straight to me, and I will expel him faster than a Thai take-out place can read back your delivery order. Okay? But until that happens, and I’m genuinely sorry to say this, there is nothing legally I or the school board can do.”

“Come on, guys,” Mr. Shue gently guided the boys up. 

Kurt stopped just before they were out of the doorway and turned to Sue.

“You know, when you call me lady…That’s bullying. And it’s really hurtful.”

“I’m sorry. I thought that was your name,” she said very matter of factly. “As an apology, I’ll allow you to choose from the following nicknames: Gelfling, Porcelain, and Tickle-Me-Doughface.”

Kurt mulled it over for a moment. “I guess I’ll go with Porcelain.”

“Damn. Totally wanted Tickle-Me-Doughface.”

* * *

After the day’s football practice, Blaine hustled into the locker room just in time to see Artie and Mike standing tall against Karofsky.

“Stop picking on Kurt,” Artie demanded.

“You mind? I’m changing,” Karofsky grunted without even giving him a second glance.

“We’re serious,” Mike said, slamming the lineman’s locker shut. “This is a warning. From now on, you’re gonna leave him alone.”

“Look, if he wants to be a homo, that’s up to him, but don’t rub it in my face.”

“We’re not  _ asking _ you.” 

“Yeah, we’re done talking about this.” Mike scrunched his face up in anger and took a step towards Karofsky. ”Just back off, all right?

“Look, you back off!”

“What’s going on in here?” Blaine asked.

“None of your fucking business,” Karofsky spat. “Unless you want me to go to Figgins about that bullshit you pulled on me two weeks ago.”

Mike furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s he talking about, Blaine?”

Karofsky snorted. “You mean you didn’t let your homo-explosion buddies know that you like to randomly deck other people out of nowhere.”

Blaine’s eyes flared up. “We’ve all got things we don’t want people to know, don’t we, Dave?” he challenged him.

David’s face twisted up in fury as he shoved Blaine hard with both hands, sending him flying backwards and toppling over Artie. They hit the cement floor with a sharp slap. 

“Hey!” Sam cried from across the room.

“Shit,” Blaine murmured as Mike rushed to their aid. “Artie, are you okay?”

Meanwhile, Sam had crossed the locker room just in time to stop the lineman from doing any more damage to Artie and Blaine. The blond gripped the front of Karofsky’s shirt and swung him around so that his back collided with the lockers.

Karofsky retaliated by drawing his fist back and slamming it across Sam’s face.

Just in the nick of time, Coach Beiste came barging in the locker room. “Hey, hey, hey, what’s going on?!” she shouted, separating the two fighting boys. “Get up! Get up here! Get up! What the hell’s going on here?”

Coach Beiste pointed the way out for Karofsky to leave just as Finn finally walked in and tossed a football at Blaine, an oblivious smile on his face. “Hey, Blainers!”

Blaine, blood still boiling from the encounter, rushed right up to Finn. “Don’t  _ Hey Blainers  _ me, where the _hell_ have you been!?”

The tallest boy looked back at him confusedly. “I was still out on the field,” he said defensively. “Lay off, will you?”

Blaine scoffed. “Lay off?” he asked in bewilderment. “God, Finn, it sure is convenient that the one time Kurt needs you to step up is the one time you’re not here to do it, isn’t it? You know, you keep saying you want us all to see you as a leader, so maybe it’s time you start showing some leadership qualities. He’s going to be your  _ brother _ , why don’t you start fucking acting like it?”

He shoved the ball back into Finn’s chest with an angry grunt, leaving the taller boy at a loss for words.

Finally, he turned to Sam who was still nursing his swollen eye. “Hey man,” Blaine started. “Thanks for stepping in for me. You really have no idea what that means to have someone willing to defend my boyfriend when I can’t.” 

Blaine shot a pointed glare at Finn.

“It’s not a problem, dude,” Sam responded. He held out his fist for Blaine. “We’re a team on and off the field, we gotta have each other’s backs. Plus, I heard you got a black eye last year, so we’re kind of like fight twins.”

Blaine chuckled lightly and met Sam’s extended fist with his own. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

* * *

Kurt, Finn, Burt, and Blaine all stood in the choir room with Kurt front and center. Blaine was still pissed at Finn, but more than anything, he was just glad to see Kurt smiling again.

“Thank you both for attending the Kurt Hummel Wedding Dance Seminar. Dad, you’re going to have to pull off the first dance with Carole. And if Uncle Andy’s 40th birthday party was any indication, you’re going to need some work.”

“What are you talking about?” Burt asked. “My moves were great, okay? It was the…damn sangria… Affected my coordination.” 

“Okay. We dance to the beat, not to the words,” Kurt instructed them. “Dad, I’ll show you first, then you can go over and practice with my lovely assistant over there.” 

Blaine smiled fondly over at Kurt then gave a little wave to Burt and Finn.

“Have you guys chosen a—No.“ Burt moved to put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder before his son abruptly corrected him by placing his hand on his waist, where it would be when he was dancing with Carole. “A wedding song?” he finished

“Yes,” Burt nodded. “We’re thinking  _ Stairway  _ or some Bublé.”

“Okay, great. So it’s basically one-two-three-four. Okay. Follow me, all right? Gentleman leads on the left. Right. Opposite of me. Okay? Get ready? Opposite. One-two-three-four.” 

Burt began to dance with his son, clumsily at first, then eventually getting into the swing of it.

“Hey, look at me, I’m dancing, huh? Look at that!” Burt exclaimed happily before Kurt transferred him over to Blaine.

“Yeah, okay. Come over here, and dance with Blaine. Practice while I show the other hopeless case around here.”

“Come on, Finn, no chickening out. I did it. You gotta do it, too.”

“Okay, uh…”

Finn looked at Kurt’s ready position with a hesitant face.

“Okay. Position,” Kurt prompted him.

“Uh…Can we… Can we shut the door?” Finn asked quietly. “I'm not really comfortable with people watching.”

“What are you talking about? You danced in front of a thousand people at Regionals.”

Just as Finn reluctantly took Kurt’s hand, Karofsky walked by, shot them a mocking glare and made a limp hand gesture before continuing on his way.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Burt, who instantly let go of Blaine’s grasp to walk to Kurt.

“What the hell was that?” He asked.

“It’s nothing, Dad,” Kurt said, trying to dismiss it.

“That was not nothing,” Burt insisted. “That guy was making fun of you. What the hell’s his name?”

“His name’s Dave Karofsky,” Kurt said. “It’s not a big deal. He’s… been harassing me for a few weeks now.”

“Harassing you how?”

“Just…” Kurt hesitated for a moment, realizing what a fine line he was walking with Karofsky just outside the room. “Shoving me… and giving me a hard time.”

After a beat of silence, Burt pressed him again. “There’s more. There’s something else you’re not telling me.”

“Tell him, Kurt,” Blaine said seriously. “Tell him, or I will.”

Kurt gave a pleading look towards Blaine before finally relenting. “He threatened to kill me.”

“What?” Finn asked, completely astonished. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

In an instant, Burt’s face was flooded with an intense fury. He suddenly stormed out the door after Karofsky, all three boys chasing after him.

“Burt!” Blaine cried after him.

Finn, Kurt, and Blaine ran out into the hallway just in time to see Burt shoving Karofsky up against a locker. Blaine would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t get a certain sense of satisfaction in seeing the same fear in Karofsky’s eyes he took such pleasure in instilling in Kurt’s.

Still, he didn’t want the situation to escalate anymore than it already had.

“What the hell!?” Karofsky yelled.

“You like picking on people?” Burt challenged him. “Why don’t you try me?”

“Burt!” Finn ran up and tried to pry Burt’s arms off the other student. “Stop!”

“Please, you’re sick!” Kurt cried, tugging on his dad’s arm. “Come on.”

The three boys finally managed to get Burt off of Dave and the lineman made a break for it as soon as he could.

Burt turned to Finn, infuriated. “What the hell have you been doing while this is all going on, huh?”

* * *

“So it seems the situation has reached a boiling point,” Principal Sue said.

Kurt, Karofsky, and their dads all sat in the office, Burt still seething from the events earlier that day.

“You’re damn right, it has,” Burt snapped.

“Nothing happened,” Karofsky defended himself.

“I’ll tell you what really happened. Mr. Karofsky—”

“My name’s Paul.”

“Paul, your kid threatened the life of my son.”

“Porcelain?” Sue questioned Kurt. “Is that true?”

Kurt was about to answer when David beat him to the punch. “That’s not true. I didn’t say anything.”

Kurt clenched his jaw. “That’s what he said. He said he would kill me if I told anyone.”

“If you told anyone what?” Mrs. Sylvester asked.

Kurt expected Karofsky to glare at him threateningly, but when he saw the other boy’s face he just looked… scared. Kurt sighed a little. “Just… that he was picking on me.”

Kurt felt a wave of disappointment when David once again spoke up. “He’s making all this stuff up.”

“Oh, is that right?” Burt asked.

“Hold on a sec,” Paul said. “You  _ have _ been acting differently lately, David. You used to get A’s and B’s. You’re talking back, you’re acting out, and now we’re sitting here. So let me ask you: Why would Kurt make that up?”

A beat of silence passed and Kurt had to try really hard to keep from rolling his eyes at his bully’s response. “Maybe he likes me.”

“I think we’re wasting our time here,” Burt said brusquely. He pointed at Mrs. Sylvester. “It’s your job to protect people.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” she announced. “After hearing both sides of the story, you are hereby suspended, your expulsion pending review from the school board. I will not have one student threatening the life of another. You’ll leave campus immediately.”

Paul pursed his lips. “I appreciate your time.”

As they all exited the room, Burt nodded at Sue graciously. “Thank you.”

“Enjoy your wedding.”

* * *

The tension in the air that Friday Night Dinner was so thick, Kurt was sure he could have sliced it right in half with the butter knife he was using to cut into Carole’s meatloaf. Other than the light clacking of silverware against ceramic, it was dead silent.

“Can someone say something, please?” Kurt finally begged.

Finn looked up from his plate and opened his mouth to say something, mid-chew, before Carole lightly knocked her leg against his in warning.

“We can start with why the hell you kept this from me for so long,” Burt said. 

“I didn’t want you to freak out,” Kurt admitted. “Kind of exactly the way you are right now.”

“I think somebody threatening my kid’s life constitutes a little freaking out,” Burt added, voice beginning to rise. 

Carole stood up and looked down at her son. “Finn,” she asked calmly. “Can you come help me in the kitchen?”

Finn stared up at her dumbly. “With wha—?”

_ “Kitchen,”  _ she whispered fiercely, urging Finn out of his chair.

Once they were gone, Burt continued. “I won’t lie, Kurt, thought of you going back to that school makes me real nervous.”

Blaine suddenly lifted his head and looked at Burt with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “There is another option,” he suggested.

Kurt shot him a look, begging him to stay quiet. “Blaine, please.”

Burt furrowed his eyebrows. “What option?” he prodded, his curiosity piqued. 

“Well my mom went to a few open houses last semester and she told me about this school that has a zero tolerance bullying policy. Kurt could finish out his junior year there.“

“Sorry dad,” Kurt muttered. “You’ll have to excuse my boyfriend’s ridiculous suggestion, he’s just a little tired from glee rehearsal.”

“The only thing I’m tired of is you treating this like it’s  _ nothing _ ,” Blaine said firmly.

“And I’m getting really tired of  _ you _ trying to make decisions for me.”

“Hold on,” Burt said, holding up a hand to silence his son. “If there’s an alternative solution to this thing, maybe we should hear him out.”

“There’s not.” Kurt said stubbornly. “Dave is about to be expelled. Problem solved.” He shrugged dismissively _ ,  _ ignoring the foreboding feeling in his stomach.

“Okay,” Blaine started bitterly. “But what happens when he comes back, Kurt? When the Lima School Board decides that threatening the life of a gay kid isn’t a punishable offense after all? That we should expect it and just deal with it?”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Kurt said shakily, swallowing around his dry throat. God, he didn’t even sound convincing to himself.

“Kurt,” Burt said firmly. “Blaine’s got a point here. This is Lima. And you know, this kid might not be the last one to single you out. As much as I wish it weren’t true, this town is filled with people who will actively root against you.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, dad,” Kurt said trenchantly. 

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“I know, you’re just trying to be realistic… but I’ve gone to McKinley for two years. My friends are there, Blaine is there, the New Directions—a club my brother-to-be and I were original members of—are there.” He threw his arms out in question. “Am I supposed to let this guy just bully me out of a place I have as much right to be in as anyone else? What happened to ‘ _ Nobody pushes the Hummels around’ _ ? ”

Burt sighed before giving his son a tired look. Kurt kept his chin pointed up and his eyebrows raised defiantly, hoping it was enough to convince his dad that this was a fight he was not going to give up on.

“I suppose you’re right...” Burt reluctantly agreed. “You do have as much right to be in your school as that Karofsky kid does. But if you change your mind for any reason at all, or if he ever even looks at you the wrong way again, you let me know right away.”

Kurt nodded and looked over at Blaine, who was silently glaring down at his plate. 

The once again tense silence was deafening and after a few moments, Kurt couldn’t take the feeling of Blaine’s mix of frustration and disappointment radiating off him anymore. He let his fork drop down to his half-finished plate. “I’m done. I’m going to my room.” He stood up and slid his chair backwards before storming off to his room.

“Kurt—“ Burt called after him, but his son was already down the stairs.

* * *

“Please be seated.” The priest stood in the center of the altar along with Carole, Burt, Kurt, and Finn. “We usually start with a prayer. But a certain young wedding planner, who shall remain nameless, was afraid that some in attendance might fall asleep.”

A few rows from the back, Santana nudged Brittany, whose head had lolled off to the side in her sleep.

“So instead, I’m going to let Burt and Carole tell you in their own words why they’ve invited you here today.”

“I’m not really known for having a way with words,” Burt started. ”Uh… you know when you’re a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things. But one thing they neglect to mention is how… sad life can be. I lost somebody I loved very much. But Kurt… he lost his mom. And that killed me. Well, we got by, but looking back? I-I want to apologize to you, Kurt. What we were living just…wasn’t living. You know that saying, that when God closes a door, he opens a window? Well, sometimes out of nowhere, he’ll do you one better, and he’ll kick a whole wall down. He grabbed me by the shoulders, and he pointed me towards this woman right here. And he said,  _ There she is. Go get her. _ You’re everything, Carole. Words can’t describe you. You’re everything. And I will love you till the day I die.”

Kurt watched on as Finn and Rachel exchanged a soulful glance from across the room. His line of sight drifted and he finally met Blaine’s, hoping he looked as apologetic as he felt. He loved Blaine too much to let their argument from the night before come between them. 

He really should have talked to Blaine last night, but he let his stubbornness get the best of him. Shutting himself in his room ended up being something he really regretted, and he knew that he had to talk to his boyfriend the first chance he got.

Just then, Carole opened her mouth to start her vows. “Oh, hey…I’m lucky. Most women, when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me. Kurt, you are an amazing person. I’m not only getting a son, I’m getting a friend. Finn…I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I’ve watched you grow into a man. But I think I’m most proud that you’ve become a brother to Kurt. We are four people. Becoming a family.”

Kurt glanced over to Blaine at the last line before turning attention to his new family as he, Finn, Carole, and Burt all clasped hands.

“Okay. Burt…” the minister began. “Do you take Carole—”

“You bet I do!” Burt exclaimed, earning a laugh from the crowd.

“And do you, Carole, take this man—?”

“Oh, yes I do! Yes, I do.”

The happy couple reached out for each other and seal their vows with a kiss while all the onlookers applauded.

* * *

**_When marimba rhythms start to play_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Dance with me, make me sway_ **

Kurt watched on as Burt and Carole shared their first dance while Mr. Shue sang on the stage behind them. Burt glanced over Carole’s shoulder, seeking approval of his dance moves from his son. Kurt grinned and winked at him, giving him an  _ okay _ hand sign.

“I thought the  _ glee club _ was supposed to be performing for today,” a familiar voice pointed out from behind him.

Kurt turned around and was met with the sight of his handsomely dressed boyfriend and absolutely could not restrain a smile. “Yeah, well, you know Mr. Shue. He kind of insisted. And by insisted I mean looked pathetically over my shoulder as I compiled the set list for today, so I took pity on him.”

A short silence settled between them for a second before Kurt continued. 

“I’m sorry about last night.”

Blaine reactively pulled Kurt in for a tight squeeze right away, feeling Kurt’s arms grip him tightly around the waist. 

Kurt let out a sigh of relief. Even though it had been a relatively small argument and lasted less than twenty four hours, the thought of how he had left things with Blaine made him feel ill. 

“So am I,” Blaine mumbled into his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have tried so hard to push you into doing something you didn’t want to do. I just… I care about you so much and I want to do everything I can to keep you safe.”

“I get that, I really do,” Kurt started. “But that’s not something you need to be worried about.”

_ But I do worry.  _ Blaine thought.  _ God, I worry so much… that I won’t be able to keep what happened to me from happening to you. _

Kurt continued, breaking Blaine out of his spiraling thoughts. “It’s not your job to keep Karofsky from lashing out. Your job is to just keep being the same amazing boyfriend you’ve been for the past eight months. You’re more important to me than some stupid argument. I love you. And I really don’t like not talking to you.” Kurt gave Blaine a sideways smile. “I always forget how lucky I am to be in love with my best friend.”

Blaine smiled gently and pulled away, about to return the sentiment when Mr. Shue  _ finally _ finished his song and made an announcement.

“And now, I’d like to introduce one of the best men: Finn Hudson!”

Burt and Carole made their way back to the main table while Finn took center stage on the dance floor. Blaine gave another smile to Kurt before returning to his spot at one of the guest tables next to Quinn.

Finn, standing front and center, took a champagne glass that a nearby waiter offered before starting his speech. 

“Uh… Well, I want to propose a toast to my mom, who is  _ so _ awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you taught me what it means to be a man… In Glee Club, uh, whenever two of us got together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. Kurt and Blaine are Klaine. And today, a new union was formed. Furt. You and me, man. We’re brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff’s gone down. And I haven’t manned up like I should’ve. From now on? No matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a Slushie in the face every now and then.” The glee club laughed in comradery before Finn continued with his speech.

“You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So as a thank you, I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. You’re going to dance it with me, dude.”

In any other case, Kurt would have been peeved at something that was not on the itinerary being orchestrated without his knowledge, but he was so touched by his now step-brother’s actions that he decided to let it slide.

The music started and Blaine followed by the rest of the guys in glee club all took their positions behind Finn. He sang while they danced along to the choreography. 

**_Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying_ ** **_  
_ ** **_She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday_ **

As the song continued, the girls jumped in next to them. When Finn finally got to the chorus, he walked up to Kurt with a big grin on his face, extending his hand out. Kurt beamed back at him and stepped out from behind the table to join his new brother in the dance.

**_Oh you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change_ ** **_  
_ ** **_If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say_ **

Finn sent Kurt off with a hearty pat on the back, and the boys headed off towards their respective parents. Finn took his mom’s hand while Kurt took his dad’s and the two pairs mirrored each other.

Finally, both brothers let go of their parents to send them off towards each other. Burt reached out and took Carole in his arms once more.

**_When I see your face_ ** **_  
_ ** **_There's not a thing that I would change_ ** **_  
_ ** **_'Cause you're amazing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just the way you are_ **

Kurt felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Blaine, with his hand extended. Kurt took it and pulled his boyfriend close. “So I take it you knew about this?” He asked cheekily.

“What?” Blaine feigned innocence as he followed Kurt’s lead in the dance, swaying gently along together. “I knew nothing about it. The synced choreography was completely coincidental.” Kurt threw his head back in laughter. “Okay, so I may have known a thing or two…but Finn is right,” Blaine added, lifting a hand to Kurt’s jaw and gently stroking his thumb across his cheek. “You deserve it. You’re amazing.”

**_And when you smile_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The whole world stops and stares for a while_ ** **_  
_ ** **_'Cause, girl, you're amazing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just the way you are_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Yeah_ **

The song ended and Kurt tugged on Blaine’s hand to lead him back to the guest table where the rest of the New Directions were sitting. 

Sam and Finn headed towards the stage, brushing past Kurt and Blaine, Sam clapping Blaine on the back while Finn showed Kurt his most supportive smile.

While they took center stage, Sam picking up the acoustic guitar leaning by the stairs that led onstage on his way, Kurt and Blaine pushed their chairs together. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s chest and nestled his head on the crook between Kurt’s head and shoulders, letting out a contented sigh when their friends started  [ singing ](https://youtu.be/PthxO_lRu9c) .

**_When the days are cold_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And the cards all fold_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And the saints we see_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Are all made of gold_ **

**_When your dreams all fail_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And the ones we hail_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Are the worst of all_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And the blood's run stale_ **

He glanced up at Kurt, who then turned his head slightly and gave Blaine a smile—a true,  _ genuine _ smile that Blaine hadn’t seen in ages. He could get Kurt to laugh every now and then, but it killed Blaine to see the toll this whole Karofsky situation was taking on his boyfriend.

And even worse that there was nothing he could do about it.

**_Don't wanna let you down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But I am hell bound_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Though this is all for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Don't wanna hide the truth_ **

**_No matter what we breed_ ** **_  
_ ** **_We still are made of greed_ ** **_  
_ ** **_This is my kingdom come_ ** **_  
_ ** **_This is my kingdom come_ **

Blaine thought back to every attempt he made at trying to convince Kurt to transfer to the safer option, searching to see if there was an argument he’d missed that might finally win Kurt over.

However, all that came up was Kurt’s voice echoing inside his mind, saying the same thing he always said to shut Blaine’s ideas down: 

_ I could never leave… I have you here. _

_ Thank you, Blaine Anderson, for being the only thing that makes this utterly ridiculous public school bearable. _

_ Life here would suck without you. _

_ I won’t risk losing you. _

**_When you feel my heat_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Look into my eyes_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Don't get too close_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's dark inside_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ **

Kurt had been very vocal about his reasons for staying at McKinley. Of course, Blaine understood them. Objectively, McKinley was truly an awful establishment, but it was also the place he and Kurt had fallen in love. Painted in that light, it was better than Disney World.

What would happen if Kurt didn’t have those reasons anymore? Would it be enough to make him even consider transferring?

**_They say it's what you make_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I say it's up to fate_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's woven in my soul_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I need to let you go_ **

The words of the bridge hit Blaine like a slap in the face. He would have sworn he felt his heart physically crack at the thought that crossed his mind just then.

He clenched his forearms, tightening his grip around Kurt like he was trying to drown out the words that kept ringing in his ears.  _ I need to let you go. I need to let you go. I need to let him—No, I don’t. I  _ **_can’t._ **

_ You have to. _

He felt tears build behind his eyes, and he didn't know how long the dam could hold them as he imagined the alternative. A repeat of what happened the other day in the locker room, or another Sadie Hawkins situation, or something so much worse than Blaine could have even imagined.  _ You said you’d do anything to keep him safe. Is that still true, or not? _

**_Your eyes, they shine so bright_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I wanna save that light_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I can't escape this now_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Unless you show me how_ **

Could he really take the heart he held so gently in his hands—the way he was holding Kurt right now—and break it? Kurt, who fit so well in his arms, whose hand, when intertwined with his own, felt just as much a part of Blaine? Kurt, whose laugh made his heart bloom like a flower that popped its head up through the snow at the first sign of Spring? Kurt, who was strong and brave and so goddamned hard-headed and the first person other than his mother to make Blaine feel safe and loved and  _ seen? _

_ Kurt…? _

**_When you feel my heat_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Look into my eyes_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Don't get too close_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's dark inside_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's where my demons hide_ **

He nuzzled his face into Kurt’s shoulder and breathed deeply.

“You okay?” Kurt asked.

Blaine nodded against Kurt’s jacket, refusing to lift his head. “Yeah, weddings just… make me really emotional.”

If he was really going to do this, he might as well savor it while he could. 

* * *

After many more joyous hours of dancing and laughing and singing, Kurt finally hopped into Blaine’s car and threw the leftover bouquet of flowers from the centerpiece in the backseat.

He leaned his head towards Blaine and beamed at him. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Blaine mumbled and shot back a weak smile at him as he shifted from park to drive and took off towards Kurt’s house. “As I’ll ever be.”

For the entire car ride home, Blaine hardly said anything beyond single syllable responses, shrugs, and simple nods when his boyfriend asked him about the wedding.

“Okay, what’s up?” Kurt finally asked as they pulled into his driveway, reaching over to place his hand on Blaine’s thigh. “You’re acting really strange, what’s wrong?”

Blaine gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, his knuckles losing some color. He swallowed hard and finally spoke, never meeting Kurt’s eyes.

“I don’t see...  _ this _ going anywhere and I think—I think we should stop wasting our time.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt asked with furrowed eyebrows. He tacked on a playful smile. “The car seems to be running just fine, unless you want me to take a look under the hood?”

Blaine steeled himself. “I’m saying I think we should break up.”

Kurt’s initial reaction was to sputter out a disbelieving laugh. Blaine wasn’t breaking up with him; they were never going to break up because they were in this for the long haul. 

His chest tightened when after a few moments, Blaine didn’t laugh along with him, or jump in to correct himself. 

“Oh, my god… you’re serious?” Kurt immediately drew his hand back into his lap like Blaine’s skin was a hot stove stop. Panic began to churn deep in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t lose Blaine. Not now, not  _ ever _ . 

He knew how pathetic the words about to come out of his mouth were going to sound, but he didn’t care. “I… Blaine, I need you. Now more than ever.”

_ No, you don’t, _ Blaine thought.  _ I’m the one thing holding you back. _

“I know, Kurt. But I can’t help how I feel.”

“Yeah, well neither can I!” Kurt said back, his voice starting to rise in desperation. “I feel that you’re the love of my life and I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I  _ know _ you… I know you feel the same and I can't help but feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I don’t love you,” Blaine blurted. The words felt like arsenic in his tongue and he had to hold back the lump in his throat, but he was hoping it was the one thing he could say that would make Kurt finally let go.

The silence in the car was deafening.

“What..?” Kurt finally asked meekly, crystal eyes starting to sheen over with unshed tears.

“I just… don’t think what we have is  _ love _ , Kurt.” He lied through his teeth. “I think we were lonely and we get along really well so we just… latched on to the first person who knew what it was like to be a gay teenager in Ohio.” 

“Holy shit…” Kurt said as if what Blaine had just said knocked the wind right out of him. “It all makes sense…  _ This _ is why you’ve been pushing me to transfer. You were just looking for any excuse to end things, weren’t you?”

“Kurt, no,” Blaine pleaded. “I-I still want you in my life, just… not in that way. We can still be frie—“

“Don’t!” Kurt snapped, holding up a hand over his face and squeezing his eyes tight. “Is… is it really over, then?” he asked, words barely managing to scrape their way out of his throat.

Blaine’s silence was enough of a response.

Kurt nodded slowly, his hurt morphing into anger as he grabbed his coat and reached for the door handle. He got out of the car and glared at Blaine with a resentment he never thought he’d harbor for the other boy. “I will  _ never _ forgive you for this,” was all he said before slamming the passenger side door.

Blaine watched helplessly as Kurt walked through the door and buried his face in the coat he held in his arms. Blaine threw his arms over the steering wheel, gripping it tight and resting his head on the center of it. 

Finally, he let out a loud sob, praying that he’d made the right decision.

* * *

As if this week couldn’t get any worse, Sue had just informed Kurt and his parents that Karofsky was being reinstated and would be back in school the next day. He had been shocked at first, but then realized he should have expected as much from the Lima School District. 

Still, all that had been more expected than the way Blaine tore his heart out the Saturday before. How the hell was he supposed to walk back into McKinley high knowing he’d be going through this alone now? 

So when his dad and Carole brought up Dalton again, Kurt decided it was for the best that he leave McKinely. He loved the New Directions dearly, he did, but they never quite understood Kurt the way Blaine did. Losing him was the tipping point, and being reminded of that every day in Glee club would just be the icing on the cake. Why should he put himself through double the torture?

Still, he was going to miss everyone in that room like crazy.

Now, he stood just outside of the choir room, taking in a deep breath and doing what he could to make what he was about to announce to the New Directions easier.

A flash of movement at the end of the hall caught his eye and he turned his head to see Blaine there, frozen and wide eyed, staring at him. 

His heart clenched when Blaine swallowed and turned around, all but sprinting toward the locker room, away from Kurt.

Kurt blinked and sucked in a deep breath, letting silent tears roll down his cheek. No matter how hard telling the New Directions about his transfer was going to be, he knew it couldn’t possibly be as hard as sitting next to Blaine every single day knowing he couldn’t reach out and take his hand or lean over and kiss him on the cheek whenever he wanted anymore.

He finally found the strength to walk through the doors of the choir room only to hear his director’s voice.

“Come on, guys. The wedding was great, but we have got to get ready for Sectionals next week. Kurt, good, I want to talk to you about this amazing idea I had for a  _ duet _ for you and Blaine at Sectionals! Where is he, anyways?”

More salt in the wound. “Can I make an announcement first?”

“Yeah.”

“First,” Kurt started. “I wanted to thank everyone for what you did at my dad’s wedding, especially Finn. It’s nice to know that I have great friends here as well as a true brother… Which is why it’s so hard for me to leave.”

“What do you mean,  _ leave?” _ Quinn asked, suddenly swiveling her head around and made aware of her best friend’s absence.

“I’m transferring to Dalton Academy… My parents are using the money they saved up for their honeymoon to pay for the tuition.”

“Kurt, are you serious?” Tina asked.

“Yes.”

“Are you at least waiting until after Sectionals?” Rachel asked. Santana dug an elbow into her ribs.

“No,” Kurt replied quietly. He stared wistfully at the empty chair where Blaine usually sat.  _ There’s no reason to stay here. _

“What the hell, dude?” Finn asked angrily, rising up from his seat. “How about you talk with me about this first?”

“I’m sorry, Finn, but there’s nothing to talk about. Karofsky’s coming back tomorrow, so that means I won’t be.”

“We can protect you,” Sam added.

“Seriously, we can, like, form a perimeter around you like the Secret Service,” Puck added.

“The only thing that can really protect me is what they have at Dalton, a zero tolerance, no-bullying policy. It’s enforced.”

Finally, Mercedes stood up, teary eyed and walked up to him. “Kurt…” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I have to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry this is so late, time isn't real anymore and i legit forgot it was friday!
> 
> biggest shoutout EVER to my beta [Adri](https://somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com) like hoooooooly hell she worked wonders on this chapter, she is my biggest cheerleader and real talk I woulda stopped writing this like eight chapters in if it weren't for her support
> 
> Happy Easter weekend to those of you who are celebrating it! I hope you and you families are staying well and healthy in these trying times


	8. Special Education

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh boy, I sense a long chapter…
> 
> This chapter was Beta'd by the wonderful [Adri](somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com). 
> 
> Enjoy!

The first thing Blaine felt walking into school the next day was regret, heavy as lead, sinking from his head to his chest to deep in the pit of his stomach. The next thing he felt was a hand on his shoulder grip him tightly and spin him around forcefully.

**_“_ ** _ You  _ **_broke up_ ** _ with him!?” _

Quinn stood in front of him, looking astonished and hands on her hips. 

Blaine was beating himself up enough already, he didn’t need a lecture from his best friend. He sighed and turned away from her, not possessing even the teeniest desire to have this conversation.

She followed him, so he gave her a reply, hoping it might appease her. “Sometimes people fall out of love,” he said grimly. “It happens.”

“That’s bullshit and you and I both know it.”

He scoffed. “How did you even find out?”

“It’s the New Directions—we know someone’s business before they know themselves.”

He rolled his eyes, still heading down the hallway. She was still following him determinedly, skirt flouncing outward with each step she took.

“What the hell were you thinking, B!?”

He stopped in his tracks, finally facing her with teary eyes. “I don’t  _ know _ what I was thinking!” he finally admitted.

The look on his face was enough to calm her anger. There was something more going on here, there had to be. Blaine looked so distraught and broken. He glanced around, scanning the area for anybody who might be listening before pulling her into an abandoned classroom. 

Gripping her wrist tightly, he pointed a finger at her. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anybody. Especially Kurt.”

“I won—“

He cut her off almost immediately. “And I don’t mean it like I did last year, about not telling him about the Glist. I’m really, really serious, Quinn.”

She saw the intensity in his eyes and understood that it had to be dire. After a short silence and a deep breath, he let her know the truth. “I broke up with him because I knew it would drive him to transfer.”

“That’s got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said bluntly.

“Is it?” Blaine asked. “You don’t know Kurt like I do, Q. He’s stubborn. Hell, probably more stubborn than I am, and that’s saying something. He’s not safe here, Karofsky made that very clear. And we were both just so excited to be with each other over these past eight months—something neither of us thought would happen until college, at least. Add to that me nearly transferring to Carmel last year, and I knew he’d never leave. Not unless I made it too painful to stay.”

Quinn shook her head, struggling to follow her best friend’s logic. “Why didn’t you just  _ tell _ him that?”

“I tried. He said he could never leave because he had me here...”

“Still,” she huffed. “There had to have been another way.”

“You have  _ no idea _ what Karofsky is capable of!” he snapped.

Her face fell grim, like she was beginning to see this was more than just the run of the mill McKinley brand homophobia. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Shit. If Quinn found out, and Karofsky found out that she knew—that Blaine had let it slip—he might just drive all the way to Westerville and do the unimaginable to Kurt. A shiver crawled down Blaine’s spine at just the thought. 

“N-nothing,” Blaine stammered, trying to cover up what he really meant. 

He didn’t want to put Kurt in anymore danger than he already was, but he also needed Quinn to chill out about this because if she pressed it any further… Well, Blaine wasn’t sure he was strong enough to not immediately drive over to the private school and selfishly admit everything and beg Kurt to come back.

He couldn’t tell her about what Karofsky had really done, but he still needed to make her  _ understand _ . He knew the one thing she didn't know about him that could do that. “I mean... I told you about my dad... but I never told you about what happened in middle school. The reason I’m so afraid for Kurt, and the reason I know how serious Karofsky was.” He swallowed before continuing. It had been hard enough telling Kurt last year, and though more time had passed, it really hadn’t gotten any easier.

“I had just come out and I went to a Sadie Hawkins Dance with one of my friends—Connor. He was the only other gay guy in the school. While we were, um, waiting for his dad to pick us up, these three guys came and… and they…” he drew in a breath and dug deep for the strength to just finish the damn sentence. “They kicked the crap out of us…”

Quinn gasped and brought a hand up to her mouth.

“It… was bad. Put me in the hospital for an entire week.”

“Shit, Blaine...” was all she could muster after a few seconds of silence. “I’m so sorry...”

He nodded. “So that’s why I did it... if I let what happened to me happen to him, I would never forgive myself.”

Quinn nodded understandingly before pulling him in for a tight squeeze. “Alright,” she caved. “I won’t tell him... you have my word.”

* * *

Overwhelming.

That was the word Kurt would have used to describe walking in through the doors of Dalton Academy. His heart was racing as he tried to navigate his way through the swarm of students rushing towards... something.

_ God, I wish Blaine was here to take my hand and lead me down the hall. He was always good at that—pointing me in the right direction when I’d lost myself. _

_ I’m so lost... literally. _

He eventually managed to follow the crowd to a large room (not that that was particularly defining, everything was huge here) where a group of students were singing and dancing. 

He figured they must be The Warblers, at least, from what he remembered of that Sectionals letter Mr. Shue read to them.

**_The sun goes down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The stars come out_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And all that counts_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Is here and now_ ** **_  
_ ** **_My universe will never be the same_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm glad you came_ **

They were no New Directions, that was for sure, but The Warblers seemed to be able to sing and dance fairly well. If he had to join another team, at least it was one that had a pretty decent shot at winning Sectionals.

**_You cast a spell on me, spell on me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I decided you look well on me, well on me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So let's go somewhere no-one else can see, you and me_ **

At the chorus, the frontman of the group met Kurt’s gaze, his face breaking out into a wide smile of recognition. His own face contorted in confusion, but he returned the smile politely, nonetheless.

While the Warblers continued their performance (why they were singing a  _ The Wanted  _ song in the middle of a school day, he had no idea) Kurt stared at the leader of the group for a few more seconds before realizing that he  _ did  _ look vaguely familiar.

**_Turn the lights out now_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Now I'll take you by the hand_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hand you another drink_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Drink it if you can_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can you spend a little time_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Time is slipping away_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Away from us so stay_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Stay with me I can make_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Make you glad you came_ **

Finally, it clicked.

_ “Hey there, doll face.” _

It was the guy from the Lima Bean last year, the one who had hit on him and given his number that Blaine had later found that day when they were… Well, those particular details were trivial. Besides, they didn’t even matter now that Blaine had broken up with him.

**_The sun goes down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The stars come out_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And all that counts_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Is here and now_ ** **_  
_ ** **_My universe will never be the same_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm glad you came_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm glad you came_ **

When the performance was over, the green eyed, sandy haired boy strutted over to him, a smirk smeared across his face and hands dug in his pockets.

“When I heard we were getting a new transfer, I was hoping he’d be cute...” His grin grew. “It’s good to see you again, Kurt.”

Kurt gave him a tight smile. “You, too—Stephen?” He grimaced as he drawled the name out, pretty sure he’d gotten it wrong, but guiltily unable to remember his actual one.

“It’s Sebastian, actually.” His smile faltered a little. “I can see that I clearly didn’t leave as big an impression on you as you did on me.”

“I’m sure you’re a very memorable guy,” Kurt started.  _ Just not as memorable as who I was more focused on at the time _ . “It’s just been a long time and I’m terrible with names.”

Sebastian looked at him with poorly concealed doubt. “Uh huh… Have you met the rest of the Warblers yet?” The rest of the boys came and huddled around Sebastian to take a look at the new kid, and Kurt honestly felt like some sort of animal being gawked at in a zoo. 

“No, but I’ve heard so much about your group. I was actually supposed to compete against you guys at sectionals but I uh… I had to transfer.”

“Why?” asked a blonde kid bluntly.

The slightly shorter brown haired boy next to him dug an elbow into his ribcage. “Jeff,” he scolded. “Filter!”

“It’s okay,” Kurt said slowly, a bit cautiously. “I… I was bullied for being gay.”

The brunette nodded understandingly. “I think enough of us have been there to understand,” he said grimly. Jeff looked at him sympathetically and intertwined their fingers. “You mentioned being in a show choir? What voice part?”

“I’m a countertenor,” Kurt said with the slightest bit of residual caution. Any hesitation he had left melted right off when he was met with impressed  _ Oohs _ and expressions.

“The Warblers are an open enrollment group, so feel free to stop by our rehearsal this afternoon. You can call me Nick.” He extended a hand that Kurt took, then jerked his head sideways towards the blond. “This is Jeff, my idiot. You’ve met Sebastian.”

“Yeah, we know.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “He wouldn’t shut up about you last year.  _ He’s gonna call, he’s gonna call! _ Yeah, right.” Nick opened his mouth to speak but Jeff cut him off again. “I know, I know:  _ filter _ .”

“Anyways…” Nick gestured around to the rest of the Warblers as he pointed them out. “This is Thad, Wes, David, and Trent.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Kurt said, hoping that were true. It seemed to be so far. Maybe Dalton was exactly the safe haven he’d been looking for after all.

* * *

Blaine was walking down the halls after the giant fiasco that was Santana waving around the fact she slept with Finn last year in Rachel’s face. Add to that the fact that Mr. Shue had decided to give Santana, Quinn, and Sam solos for the upcoming Sectionals competition, and Blaine was disappointed but not all that surprised to see Rachel and Puck walking down the hallway, arm in arm.

Blaine rolled his eyes back into his skull. The New Directions had enough drama going on already, they really didn’t need Rachel to go and further add to their already heavy load.

As the couple passed he linked his arms through hers, effectively tearing her away from Puck. “Oh no you don’t,” he muttered, swinging her around and doing a complete 180, much to her confusion.

Puck really seemed unfazed by it all.

“What are you doing, Blaine?” she asked sharply.

He faced her, squaring her shoulders. “Don’t do this. Don’t throw away something really special because you’re mad over something stupid. Finn loves you.”

She scoffed. “Then why did he sleep with Santana?”

“Because he thought you slept with Jesse. Why does it even matter, you weren’t even dating at the time.”

“Because she’s hot! And I’m... this.” She gestured down to herself.

Blaine looked at her pitifully before leading her towards the choir room. “You’re beautiful Rachel. And you know I’m not just saying that to get in your pants.”

He grinned when she let out a laugh. He may have been hurting like hell, but making other people smile (even Rachel) always brightened his day.

They walked through the choir room and he guided her towards Finn. “Now, go tell your man how much you love him.”

She smiled at him. “Thanks, Blaine,” she said before taking her rightful seat next to Finn.

He went to his usual seat, heart sinking when he glanced at the empty chair next to it. 

“Where’s Puck?” asked Santana. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday and I need him to get me a churro.”

“My guess is he’d rather quit Glee Club than lose Sectionals and I can’t blame him. Our set’s gon’ be real light on the Mercedes.” 

Blaine bristled at that comment. Quinn had never gotten a solo at a competition before, and although Mercedes also barely had any time to shine because of Rachel’s ball hogging, he wished they could all be more supportive of each other. This was a step in the right direction and would probably make their director more open to different leads in the future.

“I’m right here,” Puck announced, walking in and taking a seat on the risers. He shot Blaine a dirty look for some unidentifiable reason.

Blaine’s annoyance only grew with every passing phrase.

“I’m telling you, if the Warblers win Sectionals, it’s only because we  _ gave _ them Kurt,” Tina added. “We should not clap.”

Alright, that was it. He finally barked out a bitter laugh. “We didn’t give them Kurt,” he spat. “He left because you guys treated him like crap." It was true. Maybe if one other person had been as sympathetic to what Kurt was going through as Blaine was, he wouldn’t have left. He shouldn’t have been the only reason for Kurt to stay at McKinley. “Every week you guys revert to the assholes you were a year ago, and I’m sick of it. It’s the same thing: we get picked on‍, you guys have sympathy for two freaking seconds and then move on!”

Mr. Shue finally turned around, giving his students a concerned glance.

Puck spoke up from his chair, sitting up from his relaxed position. “You got a lot of nerve putting this on us when  _ you’re _ the one who dumped him! We’re supposed to be a family here, and I thought you of all people would know not to run away when things get too rough!”

Blaine tensed up at the harsh words. They rolled through him, setting an anger deep within him. The way Puck had said it—like he broke up with Kurt because he didn’t care, when in actuality he did it because of how  _ much _ he cared—showed what Puck must’ve really thought of him.

“Shut the hell up,” he whispered.

“Sorry, couldn’t hear you.” Puck cupped a hand against his ear in a challenging manner. “You wanna say that to my face?”

Blaine suddenly stood up, fists balled up, sending his chair sliding backwards and startling the members on his half of the room. 

“I said shut the hell up because you don't know what the  _ fuck _ you're talking about!” 

“Enough!” Mr. Shue tried to step in, but the boys were already too heated.

“You didn't even have the balls to face him when he said he was leaving!”

Blaine froze, an intense scowl still on his face. “Screw you, Puck,” he said quietly, reaching down to gather his messenger bag. “Actually, screw all of you!” He slung it over his shoulder and headed towards the door. “It’s funny. Without Kurt, you guys just got a hell of a lot less tolerable.”

He thought back to a year ago—something he’d been doing a lot of lately. The chance at performing had initially drawn him into the New Directions, as well as his interest in Kurt, but he stayed because the New Directions had become like family. Hell, that’s why his mom had let him stay at McKinley.

It seemed like Kurt was the glue that held this eclectic group of divas together, because he was gone, and so was the feeling of home. Now there was just eleven idiots bickering over not getting a damn solo and griping at him for doing what he needed to do to protect Kurt.

He didn’t sign up for this.

He turned to face the choir before leaving. “Good luck finding a twelfth member for sectionals because I sure as hell won't be there...”

With that, he stormed off.

* * *

Kurt walked into the senior commons where the Warblers held their rehearsals, finally feeling a little more at ease after his first day at the new school. It hadn’t been easy and though Kurt could easily coast through his classes at McKinley with minimal effort, he knew he would have to put in a lot more effort at Dalton. 

At least he could relax and just sing with some new potential friends now.

As he walked forward, he could see the Warblers he had met earlier huddled around a laptop, laughing. Kurt assumed they must be watching vines or some sort of funny youtube video, but his assumptions were promptly proved incorrect as he heard some of the things they had to say. 

“If Elf and FrankenDancer are the leaders of this team, I think we’ve got a really good shot at winning sectionals.”

A fit of laughter. Kurt identified the voice as Sebastian’s.

“They look like this choreography was made the same day the performed… Kind of like those atrocious outfits they’re wearing.” Thad, and another bout of laughter.

“That short one looks like he’s got Doritos for eyebrows,” Jeff said.

“Do they technically have enough members? One of them’s in a wheelchair so that’s really more like eleven and a half.” 

This voice was the last one he expected: Nick’s.

“His  _ name _ is  _ Artie _ ,” Kurt gritted from behind them. The group snapped their heads back to look at him, all either paling or going absolutely beet red. “And he’s a better musician than any of you will ever be. Did you know he plays electric guitar and bass? Or that he sings like a 2000s R&B star? That Elf you were making fun of has a powerhouse voice that could effortlessly cut you all down to size, and FrankenDancer you were laughing at happens to be my  _ brother!” _

“Kurt,” Sebastian started, reaching out to Kurt’s shoulder. “It’s just a little pre-sectionals tradition. It’s not that deep, we swear.”

Kurt scoffed and he drew his shoulder away from the other boy. “Just like it wasn’t that deep when the football team threw slushies in our faces or tossed us into dumpsters or gave me all those bruises!” he snapped. “A bully is a  _ bully _ .” He threw a pointed glare at Nick and Jeff. “I thought  _ some _ of you would understand that… 

“I don’t care if you say it’s all in the name of good fun. If I hadn’t been run out of my old school, that would be  _ me _ you’re making fun of right now. Hell, I’m in that video right there.” Kurt took a bold step forward and threw out his arms. “So go ahead.” He prompted them. “Do your worst. Tell me that I’ve got a bad case of the gay face, or that I dance like a drag queen, or that I look like the Pillsbury doughboy, because I’ve heard it all… and I am so fucking over it.”

The Warblers stared at him, open mouthed and speechless. Kurt just huffed a bitter laugh and spun on his heels to leave. 

“Have fun at Sectionals. I didn’t escape one swarm of assholes just to come join another one.”

* * *

For the first time since he joined the group, Blaine missed out on a glee club rehearsal. Knowing he’d done that left a hole in his chest, something that almost hurt as bad as letting Kurt go.

“Anderson!”

When a disembodied voice called his attention, he stopped walking and shut his eyes, rolling them behind his closed lids. He  _ so _ did not want to get a lecture from Mr. Shue right now. He really didn’t want to do anything but go home and curl up in his bed.

“Can I see you in my office?”

“Did you need an assignment from me for Spanish class or something?” Blaine asked as he followed, probably with a little more attitude than he should have when speaking to a teacher.

“You know what I want to talk to you about.”

Blaine scoffed. “I’m not going to Sectionals with you guys.”

“They  _ need _ you, Blaine.”

“Because of the twelve members rule? Just find a warm body to fill in. Puck knows a bunch of people, I bet he could find someone.”

Mr. Shue shook his head. “The New Directions need you because they need  _ you _ , Blaine,” he explained. “Having you in the front row helps Finn follow the choreography, and I always put you between Mike and Artie because their voices clash and you help them blend on the choral sections. Your stage presence and optimism helps keep everyone calm. Each member contributes something unique to this team. We’re like a clock: we lose one gear and we go haywire… I know the others can drive you crazy—“

“It’s not that,” Blaine choked, guilt piling up in his chest. Mr. Shue furrowed his eyebrows but remained politely silent, indicating for Blaine to go on. “It’s that… I can’t… I can’t face Kurt yet.”

To Blaine’s mild surprise, his teacher nodded understandingly. “Breakups can be tough, trust me. You’re talking to the king of breakups here.”

If Blaine hadn’t been so emotional, he might’ve questioned Mr. Shue’s incessant need to bring up his semi-recent divorce, but his mind was too busy dwelling on how things had blown over in the Hudson-Hummel driveway the other day. “Did you know the last thing Kurt said to me was that he’d never forgive me?” Blaine said absently, staring at the yearbook photo of the New Directions from last year that was framed on the wall behind Mr. Shue’s desk. “We haven’t spoken since.” 

The director nodded sympathetically. “All I can say is that it won’t get any easier until you take that first step.”

Blaine refused to meet his gaze, still staring at the old photo. 

What was he even crying for? He’d done what was right, hadn’t he? Kurt was safe and wanting him back in the one place he wouldn’t be was probably the most selfish thing Blaine could do… Second to that, of course, was skipping out on Sectionals because he was too weak to deal with the consequences of his decision.

He silently wiped his cheeks clean and finally faced his director. “Alright.” He nodded solemnly. “I’ll be there.”

* * *

Kurt was doing his best to keep the flames from rising up the side of his face and read something or the other about Hildegard Von Bingen (whom, really, he had a lot of respect for) when he heard the door to the study room creak open.

In walked Nick and Sebastian, a large metal cage in tow. Kurt’s jaw almost dropped when he heard the whistling coming from said cage and saw the small yellow cloud of feathers happily hopping around its enclosure.

“Is that a canary?”

Sebastian nodded. “It’s tradition—a Warbler for our newest Warbler”

He turned and looked back down at his book. “I don’t know if you forgot how the events from yesterday transpired, but I’m not a Warbler.” 

In fact, there was still a big part of him that felt too much like a New Direction.

“We know…” Sebastian continued. “And we wanted to present him as a symbol of our regret for acting the way we did, in hopes that you’d come back to us.”

“You think you can buy my forgiveness… with a bird?” Kurt asked.

“Consider Pavoratti here a peace offering,” Nick amended.

Kurt pursed his lips into a tight line and looked between the bird and the boys. “Consider your peace offering not accepted.”

“So you’re just gonna let little Pav here be all by his lonesome?” Sebastian gestured to the Warbler and looked pleadingly at Kurt. 

Kurt huffed and continued to glare them down.

Nick placed the cage on the coffee table and gently nudged Sebastian in the ribs. “Can you give us a sec?”

The other boy twisted his mouth, hesitant to leave Kurt so soon, but eventually nodded and obliged Nick’s request. 

When he was finally gone, Kurt stayed staring at the bird, his eyes glazed over with nostalgia. “You know,” he started. “When I was watching you make fun of my friends I thought…  _ Why did I leave my friends, my  _ **_family_ ** _ for this? _ Dalton was supposed to be this zero tolerance bullying safe zone and I got here and it was just… exactly the same. I should just go back. It might’ve been hell, but at least there I had friends.”

“No,” Nick protested. He tossed his head upwards. “Shit… look, I know we screwed up. It was really not cool of us to rag on the New Directions like that. We didn’t realize they were your friends, that it was personal, and I know that’s not a good excuse… But I promise you, Dalton is  _ so _ much better than anywhere else.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Kurt pointed out bluntly.

“I am…” Nick sighed and dropped his head. “I was beat up at my old school.” Kurt’s mind instinctively darted to Blaine before he had a chance to stop it. If his mom had sent him here instead of McKinley, this conversation could be happening with him… “It was pretty traumatizing, and you could tell the administration just… didn’t give a shit. So I was home schooled the rest of the year. Come freshman year, my parents enrolled me here.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Kurt said honestly. 

“Yeah… me, too.” Nick drew in a deep breath and placed a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “I guess being sheltered here for so long I… kind of forgot what the real world was like. And Sebastian can be… crude and kind of inappropriate, but most of the time he means well. He’s never had to deal with the same crap you and I did.”

Kurt nodded understandingly.

“My boyfriend and I really went through the wringer over at McKinley.” He winced, realizing he’d called Blaine his boyfriend out of habit. “Ex…” he corrected himself. “My ex-boyfriend.” 

The words felt like arsenic in his tongue, like they were something that never should have been said.

He sighed lamentfully. “But he uh, broke up with me last week.”

“Is that why you decided to leave?”

“Is it pathetic if I say yes? He was kind of the only thing that made the bullying bearable.”

“It's not pathetic at all,” Nick assured him. “I think things are different for us. Finding someone to love doesn’t mean just finding a boyfriend. It means finding someone who’s gone through the same stuff we have, who understands what it’s like to struggle. If I had found Jeff in public school, shit… I might’ve put up with a lot of crap, too.

“Like I said,” Nick started up again after a few seconds of silence. “I think I forgot how lucky I really am to be here. Hell, to be alive, even. So on behalf of the Warblers, Kurt Hummel, I’d like to thank you. For keeping us in check and for calling us out on our mistakes. We could really use a member like you.” He offered him a humble smile. “That and we need more tenors… so, do you think you’d be willing to give us another chance?”

Kurt felt his shoulders relax a little, letting his guard down. He looked at the bird, chirping happily in his cage, and smiled. “Yeah, I think I can do that.”

* * *

Last year’s Sectionals competition had been really intense for Blaine, but at least he had Quinn all through that.

Now, he stared remorsefully at her and Sam, who were sharing the bus seat a few rows ahead of him. He knew she wasn’t trying to be insensitive, and that she was just too excited about her new relationship to focus on the recent demise of Blaine’s (and of course, Blaine would never ask her to).

Still, it was salt in the all too fresh wound.

Sighing, he pulled out his phone and stuffed some headphones into his ears. Maybe some music and a nap would make him feel better.

The  [ slow guitar intro ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQToGcTWSRQ) invited him into a slumber and he mumbled the words until he finally lost consciousness.

**I miss you so much, I can't stand it** **  
** **Seems like my heart, is breaking in two** **  
** **My head says no but my soul demands it** **  
** **Everything I do, reminds me of you**

_ I miss you so much, in this house full of shadows _ _   
_ _ While the rain keeps pouring down, my window too _ _   
_ _ When will the pain, recede to the darkness _ _   
_ _ From whence it has come, and I'm feeling so blue _

**Ain't goin' down no more to the well** **  
** **Sometimes it feels like, I'm going to hell** **  
** _ Sometimes I'm knocking, on your front door _ _   
_ _ But I don't have nothing to sell no more _

**_Seems like the spirit, is pushing me onwards_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm able to see, where I tripped and went wrong_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'll just have to guess where my soul will find comfort_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I miss you so much, when I'm singing my song_ **

**_I miss you so much, I can't stand it_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Seems like my heart is breaking in two_ ** **_  
_ ** **_My head says no, but my soul demands it_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And everything I do, reminds me of you_ **

**_Everything I do, reminds me of you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Everything I do, reminds me of you_ **

“What are you listening to?”

Kurt yanked out his earbuds and wiped at his eyes faster than he thought possible before turning his head to be met with Sebastain’s freckled face and green eyes.

“Nothing,” he lied, quickly pressing the pause button on his phone. “I thought we weren’t allowed to stand on busses?” He narrowed his eyes at the other boy, hoping to distract him from the embarrassing self-pity party he was throwing himself.

Sebastian shrugged. “You’re right, guess I’ll have to take a seat right next to you.”

“There are plenty of empty seats over there.” He gestured to the front of the bus.

“None of them are next to someone as cute as you, though.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes, but lifted his legs from where he’d had them strewn across the seat to make room for his new teammate.

“If you weren’t listening to anything, why did you have earbuds in?” Sebastian asked, sliding in next to Kurt much closer than what was necessary. 

Kurt shrugged. “Usually I put them in in hopes that nobody will bother me.”

“Am I bothering you?” 

He paused before answering. While Kurt was still a bit on edge, could feel the walls Blaine helped him tear down brick back up one by one, he had to admit that the attention from Sebastian was… Nice. He’d been admittedly lonely since the breakup and transfer, so maybe trying to reach out and make some friends would make life a little less dreary. 

He wrung out a smile. “No, sorry I… It’s just been a rough week.”

“Yeah, I bet transferring couldn’t have been easy.”

“It really wasn’t.”

A short silence fell over them before Sebastian dug out his phone from his pocket, along with a set of earbuds. “Well, since you’re not actually listening to anything, how about some Freddie to ease your troubles?” 

“Mercury?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes playfully. “Well, duh. Is there any anyone else who can compare?” He handed Kurt a bud and he stuffed it in his ear, letting Queen serenade him.

**_Can…_ **

**_Anybody_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Find me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Somebody to_ **

**_Love_ **

Kurt let out a chuckle. “We actually did this song last year. For our invitationals.”

“Really?” Sebastian inquired, slightly impressed.

“Yeah, it was supposed to be with this High School drop out alcoholic lady as lead, but our director decided against it at the last minute. Mind you, that was  _ after _ she’d already sung the first number with us.” He left out the part about how it was only a mere month before Blaine had kissed him, and the way they had held hands on stage and sung their hearts out together.

Sebastian’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened with excitement. “Okay, I’ve never been to a public school, so you have to fill me in on all the crazy shit that happened. Please tell me there’s more.”

“Oh believe me, there’s plenty to tell.”

They listened to music as Kurt filled in Sebastian on the loads of shenanigans that went on at McKinley for the entire ride. He pretended like every single song didn’t remind him of Blaine.

* * *

It had been the longest bus ride ever, but Blaine was finally sitting comfortably in the green room.

He caught a glimpse of Quinn clutching a pillow over her chest and looking pretty freaked out while Sam tried to comfort her.

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows and went up to her. “Hey, hey,” he murmured. “You okay?”

“No, I’m totally freaking out.” She said, voice fluttering with panic. “Last time we performed in front of an audience I went into labour. I think I’m having post-traumatic stress disorder.”

Blaine squeezed her hand. “Do you want some snacks, maybe some nuts or something to settle your stomach?”

She nodded vigorously. “Y-Yeah,” she stammered. “I think that might help calm me down.”

“Alright.” He nodded and headed towards the lobby to the snack bar.

* * *

After waiting in line for what seemed like ages, Blaine finally got a hold of those damn nuts. Now he just needed to give them to Quinn.  _ I hope she’s okay. I hope I didn’t take too long and only worry her even more— _

Blaine whirled around and nearly dropped the pistachios in his hand when he saw the piercing blue eyes and pale skin of his ex boyfriend. As if that wasn’t enough, he was also standing next to a familiar brown haired boy that Blaine honestly thought he’d never see again.

“Blaine? Blaine Anderson?” Nick asked with eyes wide as dinner plates.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. These two knew each other? It finally clicked when he saw Blaine swallow hard and ask, “Connor Duval?”

His stomach plummeted towards the earth. “Oh, shit,” Kurt mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly. “ _ You’re _ Blaine’s Connor from the Sadie Hawkins dance?” 

His instinct was to go and comfort Blaine, knowing this was probably one of the most difficult things he’d had to face probably since last year’s Sectionals competition. But they weren’t dating anymore, and Kurt was still too hurt to be friends with Blaine. He was trapped in this uncomfortable post-breakup limbo.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows and pointed between Kurt and Blaine. “Wait a second, you two know each other?”

Kurt swallowed and nodded slowly, still unable to break his gaze from Blaine. “He’s the uh… ex… I was telling you about.”

Blaine winced at being called an ex. It was so surreal. He never thought he’d be anything but Kurt’s one and only, but he honestly also thought he’d never see his middle school dance date again either. “So… How’s it going, Connor?”

“It’s uh… it’s actually just Nick now. Got a little paranoid after the dance, asked my parents to start calling me by my middle name. In case… in case they started looking for me.”

“Understandable…”

A tense silence fell over the three of them. Kurt had never missed Jeff’s presence so much, considering his inability to shut up would have easily compensated for the awkward silence. He heaved a sigh. “Okay,” he started. “I’m just gonna say it. This is weird.”

“Yeah,” Nick replied quickly. “Super fucking weird.”

“So…” Kurt exhaled, feeling like the hardest thing in the world right now was to make eye contact with his ex. “I’m gonna go head back to our green room and leave you two to discuss… whatever you need to discuss. Okay?”

“Okay…” Nick agreed.

“I’ll see you backstage, Nick.”

With a friendly pat on Nick’s back, Kurt turned and headed back to the green room. 

Blaine wondered if he could feel him following him with his gaze. He watched as Kurt ran into another tall boy with sandy brown hair wearing a matching navy and red blazer. They smiled at each other and the taller boy slung an arm around Kurt’s shoulder as they walked away together.

He recognized the boy from last year, his stomach twisting with jealousy as he watched Sebastian’s hand slide down Kurt’s back.

Being apart from Kurt was already hard enough, but it was absolutely nauseating to see him with someone else. Especially since not a week ago, he thought he never would be.

“So…” Nick finally started, bringing Blaine back to the real world. “We’re both in show choirs, what are the odds?”

“Well, we’re both gay and always did have a performative streak. It can't come as that big of a surprise.”

Nick snorted. “ _ You _ had a performative streak. I was perfectly fine being the man behind the curtain.”

“ _ Man? _ We were kids!” Blaine laughed.

“Yeah,” Nick said somberly. “We were just kids.”

“What happened?” Blaine suddenly asked. “Why didn’t you ever return any of my calls? The last memory I had of you was you lying in a gurney and being wheeled through the hosp—“

“I was there,” Nick bit back. “I don’t need a recap.” Blaine took a step back as Nick relaxed. “Sorry… I just… it’s still a sore subject for me.”

“Me, too.” Blaine murmured. “But for a while I didn’t—I didn’t know if you were even alive. I just… thought we were friends and when you disappeared off the face of the earth… I was really lonely. I spent the last few weeks of my eighth grade year at a new campus, keeping to myself. I didn’t even join choir.” He shrugged and shook his head. “I mean, I didn’t get my ass kicked again, so I guess it could have been worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Nick choked out. “I never meant to make you feel that way but… I was just so afraid that you’d want to confront them, or press charges, or something and I couldn’t do that. I was so scared, Blaine. Hell, if I’m being completely honest, I’m  _ still  _ scared.”

“It’s okay… Is Dalton actually any better?”

“Honestly,” Nick said, his face lighting up. “Hell yes. The classes are definitely harder, but it’s all worth feeling safe; not having to constantly be looking over your shoulder.” Blaine let himself relax, momentarily reassured that he’d made the right decision in sending Kurt there. “How’s McKinley for you?”

Blaine pursed his lips. “It was easier about a week ago… Before the breakup.”

“Yikes…”

“I’m sure Kurt has said some unsavory things about me, and he has every right to.”

Nick shook his head. “On the contrary. He said you were the only thing that made going to that school worthwhile.”

“Yeah… will you just… please keep an eye on him? Make sure he’s doing alright? He probably hates me right now, but we were best friends before we started dating. I just want what’s best for him.”

Nick furrowed his eyebrows and his face flooded with sympathy. He nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

* * *

Thankfully, Quinn had calmed right down once she finished the bag of pistachios. Perfect timing, since they were on in five minutes.

Blaine sat in the corner chair of the green room, a pillow on his lap to make him feel more secure after seeing Kurt—and in someone else’s arms, no less.

“Hey,” a voice called out to him. Blaine lifted his gaze to see Puck standing above him, looking remorseful.

He just scoffed and hugged the pillow in his lap a little tighter. “What, here to rub my breakup in my face again?”

“I’m sorry bout that,” Puck said. “I’m working on the whole anger thing—you know… juvie.”

“Glad I could be of assistance,” Blaine spat bitterly. His eyebrows slanted upwards. “We used to be best friends. I get being upset, but I never expected you to make me feel so shitty, Puck.”

“I know,” The howhaked boy sighed. “It’s just… After you got to stay with us last year, I never thought we’d lose one of our own, ya know? I didn’t think I’d be as upset as I was by Kurt leaving, but I was. And then I got to thinking, that if I was shaken by it, then  _ you _ must be a wreck.”

Blaine stayed silent, refusing to meet Puck’s gaze.

“So, again, I’m sorry. From now on I promise to be more emphatic or whatever that thing is where you try to understand other people’s feelings.”

“Do you mean empathetic?” The curly haired boy did his best to hold back a smile, but couldn’t help but let one slip through the cracks.

“Yeah, that,” Puck affirmed. “We’re double team mates, so we gotta be twice as strong in that bond. I’ve got your back, no matter what, dude.”

His smile grew. “Glad to hear it.”

The lights overhead blinked a few times, giving the team notice that they had two minutes before they performed. Puck gave Blaine a mock salute. He returned it before rushing over to Quinn and giving her the biggest hug he could muster up.

“You’re gonna be so great, curly Q.” She sighed in relief, ignoring the nickname and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“What would I do without you?” she asked.

“Crash and burn, definitely,” he teased back.

She shot him a playfully scathing glare before making her on her way to her opening position at the back of the house.

From behind the stage curtain, Blaine could hear Quinn and Sam as they began their number.

**_Now I've had the time of my life_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No, I never felt like this before_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Yes I swear it's the truth_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I owe it all to you_ **

**_'Cause I've had the time of my life_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I owe it all to you_ **

**_I've been waiting for so long_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Now I've finally found someone to stand by me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_We saw the writing on the wall_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And we felt this magical fantasy_ **

**_Now with passion in our eyes_ ** **_  
_ ** **_There's no way we could disguise it secretly_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So we take each others hand_ ** **_  
_ ** **_'Cause we seem to understand the urgency_ **

**_Just remember_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You're the one thing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I can't get enough of_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So I'll tell you something_ ** **_  
_ ** **_This could be love_ **

**_Because I've had the time of my life_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No, I never felt this way before_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Yes I swear it's the truth_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I owe it all to you_ **

The New Directions held their ending pose for a moment before transitioning to the next number.

The girls circled around Santana and after miming making a fuss over her and she broke free, taking off for her solo.

**_Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I think of all the things, what you're doing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And in my head I paint a picture_ **

**_'Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress_ **

Blaine caught Kurt in the audience, sitting next to the boy from earlier—Sebastian, if he remembered correctly. He could see Kurt tense up as their eyes met, and Blaine’s stomach churned.

**_I won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Why don't you come on over Valerie, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie?_ **

**_Yeah Valerie_ **

* * *

The New Directions and Warblers stood on the stage after the guest emcee had announced third place. 

Kurt had seen their performance; it was phenomenal, and Kurt knew the Warblers’ rendition of  _ Hey Soul Sister _ with side stepping as their main choreography didn’t hold a candle to the New Directions’ performance. Of course they finally decided to step it up when he wasn’t there anymore. Typical.

He looked across to the New Directions and gave Mercedes a smile and wink. His smile faltered when he caught Blaine’s stare. Blaine offered a smile, but Kurt only looked away and fought back the growing lump in his throat. 

At least when the Warblers lost he would never have to see Blaine again. Though, at this point he wasn’t really sure if seeing him or missing him hurt more.

The announcer finally opened the envelope and held the microphone close to his mouth. “And now.. This year’s Show Choir Sectionals champions are… It’s a tie.”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows and found himself dropping his formal decorum to say, “What?”

“Congratulations, you’re both going to the Regionals!”

As the two groups were clearing the area, Blaine swallowed hard and walked across the stage to do the hardest thing he’d do that day: congratulate Kurt. 

He took a deep breath and tapped Kurt’s shoulder, heart clenching when he turned around and saw his face fall. “You did really great—“

Kurt held up a hand to silence his ex. “Don’t.”  _ Don’t walk right up to me and pretend you didn’t just shatter every illusion of safety I ever had _ , is what he wanted to say.  _ Don’t pretend like having to watch you have the time of your life on that stage without me didn’t completely break me. _

But Kurt knew he’d never be able to get through all of that without disintegrating into a puddle of pathetic tears. Instead, he just whirled around and swallowed back the lump in his throat, hoping he could keep it together until he got on that bus.

* * *

Kurt had shot Sebastian a text as soon as he noticed something was off about his new feathered companion. 

Sebastian walked through the door frantically and hurried towards Kurt. “I got your message, is everything alright?”

Kurt shook his head. “No, it’s Pavoratti. He’s lethargic, won’t sing back to me, and his feathers keep falling off.”

The taller boy let out a sigh of relief. “He’s just molting.”

“Molting?”

Sebastian nodded and took a seat on the couch next to Kurt. “It happens every so often. His body will shut down and he’ll shed his old feathers to make room for new ones.”

Kurt dropped his head forward. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I was just worried.”

He noticed Sebastian scooting in just a tad closer to him. “You didn’t freak me out. It was actually kind of adorable.”

He let out a snort and turned his head towards Sebastian one more time, only to see his green eyes dart down to his lips and back up at him. Slight panic began to rise up within Kurt as Sebastian inched his face closer to his.

Kurt pulled back just in time. “Look, Sebastian…” 

Sebastian looked a mix of confused and hurt. “Ah, shit… my bad—“

“No, no,” Kurt tried to ease him. “It’s not you. You seem like a fine young man but… I just got out of a long term relationship.”  _ One I honestly thought would never end. _ “And I’m just… not ready to start dating again.”

Sebastian nodded. “Alright, well we’re only juniors, so when you  _ are _ ready…” he smiled. “Give me a call.”

* * *

**_Run fast for your mother and fast for your father_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Run for your children for your sisters and brothers_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Leave all your love and your loving behind you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can't carry it with you if you want to survive_ **

**_The dog days are over_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The dog days are done_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The horses are coming_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_So you better run_

The high of the celebratory performance wore off all too quickly for Blaine.

As the rest of the glee club cleared from the auditorium, Blaine watched Sam and Quinn hold hands and giggle together, taking off to their next destination. 

Around this time, he would normally walk Kurt to his car, or they would go to Blaine’s together and he would drop him off. He didn’t need to do that anymore, so the sense of urgency was gone.

He sat for a moment, alone on the stage.

If the dog days were really over, why did it feel like they were just beginning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Up Next: CHRISTMAS!!!!! god i love christmas im so fucking excited!


	9. A Very Glee Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Christmas ya filthy animals, here, have some angst and some Blam
> 
> ALSO I AM SO SO SORRY I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS FRIDAY??? Shoutout to that anon on tumblr who was like "sooooooop u gonna update or????" ur a blessing and im a mess lmao (and that's because i even spent four hours working on the last set of chapters ofr this story today???? four hours and I STILL FUCKING FORGOT)
> 
> From the bottom of my big ass heart, i can NOT thank my Beta Adri enough for this chapter. I almost skipped this episode, but with her being there to bounce ideas off of and cheerlead her ass off for this chapter, it made it to the final cut lmao. This story just wouldn't be what it is without her tbqh
> 
> Also, i just wanna say, some of the best comments I've ever gotten have been on this story and like, they just really make my days! I'm really glad some of yall like this story so much bc I almost didn't even write it, so thank you so much :)
> 
> ENJOY :D

**_Here's what you missed on Glee._ **

**_Kurt's trying to get used to another school and Will's trying to get used to the fact that Emma went to Vegas with her boyfriend and came home married._ **

_“I'm happy for you.”_

**_Brittany thinks Artie's the best boyfriend ever._ **

_“You're magic, Brittany.”_

**_Which is what Kurt used to think about Blaine before he dumped him after his dad’s wedding._ **

_“I will never forgive you for this.”_

**_Ouch._ **

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

**_We're on the island of misfit toys  
_ ** **_Here we don't want to stay  
_ ** **_We want to travel with Santa Claus in his magic sleigh_ **

The New Directions all sashayed around in time to the music. As it sped up, they each dispersed to take on a particular task of decorating the choir room.

Sam took on the first two lines of the verse, then the rest of the choir joined in.

 **_A pack full of toys means a sack full of joys_ ** **_  
_** **_For millions of girls and for millions of boys_ ** **_  
_** **_When Christmas day is here_ ** **_  
_** **_The most wonderful day of the year_ ** **_  
_** **_Toys galore scattered on the floor_ ** **_  
_** **_There's no room for more_ ** **_  
_** **_And it's all because of Santa Claus_ **

**_A scooter for Jimmy_ ** **_  
_** **_A dolly for Sue_ ** **_  
_** **_The kind that will even say "How do you do?"_ ** **_  
_** **_When Christmas day is here_ ** **_  
_** **_The most wonderful day of the year_ **

Blaine sang along with Quinn, who curtsied and fanned her cheerio’s skirt out on “How do you do?” He humored her and playfully dipped his head in a bow.

 **_How'd you like to be a spotted elephant?_ ** **_  
_** **_Or a choo-choo with square wheels on your caboose!_ ** **_  
_** **_Or a water pistol that shoots... jelly?_ ** **_  
_** **_We’re all misfits!_ **

**_If we're on the island of unwanted toys_ ** **_  
_** **_We'll miss all the fun with the girls and the boys_ ** **_  
_** **_When Christmas day is here_ ** **_  
_** **_The most wonderful, wonderful_ ** **_  
_** **_Wonderful, wonderful_ ** **_  
_** **_Wonderful day of the year!_ **

Their director walked in just in time to see the completed result. “Hey, guys. What's this?” he asked cautiously. 

“We're trying to get into the Christmas spirit, Mr. Shue,” Finn explained. “Christmas is totally my favorite holiday. And check out this awesome tree!” he said, gesturing to the nearly barren evergreen in the center of the room. “I found it on the side of the road. It must have fallen off some guy's car.”

“And the ornaments?” 

“The guy who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother,” Sanatana explained. “When they carted him off, they left the house wide open. I think she was a holiday hoarder.”

“Uhhh, and the presents?” Mr. Shue continued, almost afraid to keep asking. 

“I lifted them from a display at the mall,” Puck said. “But don't worry. They're empty.”

“Guys, I appreciate the effort, but this isn't what Christmas is supposed to be like.”

“For us it is,” Mercedes shrugged. “This tree is like a mascot for Glee Club. We won sectionals two years in a row and according to everyone at this school, we still suck.”

“We technically didn’t even win,” Blaine pointed out with a pout. “It was a tie.”

“No,” Mr. Shue said firmly. “I am not gonna let you guys throw yourselves a pity party! Look, I'm the first one to say that things haven't turned out exactly how I would have liked them to this year. But Christmas is all about being grateful for the things that did—”

“I thought that was Thanksgiving,” Blaine mumbled.

“—and this year Glee Club is gonna lend a hand to the McKinney-Vento Homeless Children and Youth Program right here in Lima.”

“How are we gonna do that?” Sam asked. 

“The only way we know how. By singing about it. We're gonna go classroom to classroom, caroling, to raise money for McKinney-Vento.”

“Wait,” Finn asked. “Classrooms in this school with _students_ in them?”

“Well, if there are no students in them there will be no one to put money in the collection box while we sing.”

“We’re gonna be killed,” Artie said morosely.

“No, guys, it's Christmas, a time for miracles,” Blaine said, trying to keep everyone’s spirits up. “We gotta try this.”

“Blaine’s right,” Mr. Shue said. “So let's start rehearsing. This year, Glee Club's going full Santa.”

Speaking of Santa, Blaine was suddenly reminded of something he needed to do. He whipped out his phone and sent a quick message to the one person who could help him with his holiday mission.

 **New Message:** **  
****To: Nick** **  
****Hey, I have a huge favor to ask of you. Do you mind meeting me at the Lima Bean?**

* * *

Wes banged his gavel against the table. 

“This is a kangaroo court!” someone shouted.

Kurt loved being a part of The Warblers, he really did. But spending forty five minutes on deciding whether to use the budget on the classic blue ties with red piping, or red ties and blue piping? Kurt thought he was high maintenance, but even his trained fashionista eye couldn’t really tell a discernible difference between the two ties Thad was holding up.

Eventually the ensemble decided on the blue ties with red piping and Kurt was free of the exhausting discussion.

He walked out of the room, Sebastian trailing close behind. 

“You okay there, new kid?” he asked. “You seem a little peeved.”

Kurt sighed deeply. “I'm fine… It’s just kind of hard to take this matter seriously. Especially now. Christmas is about giving back and being grateful for what we have, so it feels a little tedious to be in this room listening to you guys squabble over buying new ties that we don’t even need and can’t tell the difference between when there are kids who’ll have to spend the holidays adjusting to having one less parent around, or families who _wish_ they had the option to buy new clothes.”

“Why wouldn’t they have that option?” Sebastian asked, genuinely confused. 

Kurt slowly swiveled his head to him in astonishment and mild judgement. “Because not everyone has that kind of money,” he explained. “My parents had to use their honeymoon money just to send me here for the rest of this year.”

“Oh,” Sebastian hummed.

“Listen, I would love to stay and continue this lovely chat where you remind me how blissfully unaware of financial struggles you are, but I have a lot of homework to finish… I’ll see you tomorrow, Sebastian,” Kurt said before turning to leave.

* * *

Blaine waited patiently at the Lima Bean for Nick to show, letting out a gentle breath of relief when his old friend finally walked through the doors.

Blaine beamed at him and wrapped him up in a hug. “Good to see you again, Nick.”

Nick returned the pat on his back. “Good to see you, too.” He pulled away and smiled. “And Merry Christmas, by the way.”

“Christmas is still a few days away!” Blaine laughed.

“You and I both know it’s never too early to start celebrating Christmas.”

“You’ve got me there.”

“How has your day been?”

“Well, we started caroling class to class to raise money for a shelter and we had a shoe thrown at us, so.” He teetered his hand back and forth. “Been better, been worse.”

Nick grimaced. “The kids there throw _shoes_ at you?”

“No, that was a teacher.”

“No, really?” Nick looked flabbergasted as Blaine nodded in confirmation. “God, it sounds worse than Weston Middle… How do you stand it?”

Blaine looked sheepishly down at the table. “Long story short, last year there were some fights that I won and some tires that I slashed and I guess I’ve got… a sort of reputation.”

Nick tossed his head back and howled with laughter. “You—the same boy who had to go to the nurse’s office in seventh grade because you felt nauseous after Mrs. Navarro killed a fly on your desk—are McKinley High’s residential bad boy?”

“No, that's Puck. He just got back from juvie.”

Nick pressed his hands to his temples in disbelief. “Wow, three years in private school and I’m already so out of touch with reality,” he chuckled. “Before I’m further distracted by tales of your public school life, what did you want to talk to me about?”

Blaine’s face sobered and he pulled out a small box from his pocket. “I uh… I got this for Kurt before… before the breakup. And I’m sure he hates me right now. He won’t return any of my phone calls or texts and I just,” he sighed. “I really need to give him this.”

Blaine held out the bundle and slid it across the table to Nick, who was looking sympathetically back at him. 

“I don’t mean to be a downer,” Nick started. “But if he won’t return your calls, what makes you think he’ll accept this?”

“Don’t tell him it’s from me,” said Blaine. 

Nick cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t think he’d know?”

Blaine just shrugged. “He might,” he admitted. “But not until he opens it, at least. I just… I really think it would mean a lot to him.”

Nick sighed and nodded. “Yeah, okay man. You got it.”

Blaine checked his watch. “Crap, I gotta run.” He stood up quickly from his chair. “Sorry I couldn’t stay very long. New Directions obligations.”

“Late to rehearsal?” Nick asked with a knowing smirk. “Been there.”

“Uh, no… we have to go to the mall to tell Santa our Christmas wishes to convince this one girl in glee club that we all believe in Santa like she does.”

As Blaine heads towards the door, Nick gapes after him. “Excuse me, did you say she believes in Santa?”

“Unfortunately.”

“ _Santa Claus?_ As in the big fat man with the lo—”

“Goodbye, Nick!”

* * *

“I'm not sitting on that guy's lap,” Quinn announced. “Santas' laps are always really warm, and it's creepy.”

The New Directions stood in a huddle in line to see the Santa at the Lima mall.

“We all have to sit on Santa's lap,” Artie explained. “If Brittany sees that we all still believe it'll make her strong enough to withstand all the Santa naysayers in the world… Which is everyone over the age of six.”

“I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna work. That guy doesn't even look like Santa,” Santana said, pointing out the actor’s clearly fake beard and dark brown skin. “I mean, he’s…”

“Choose your next words carefully,” Mercedes warned, holding up her index finger to the Hispanic girl.

Blaine shrugged. “Maybe they’re going for multicultural inclusivity of holiday figures.”

“Trust me,” Artie continued. “All Brittany's gonna see is the suit. She wants to believe in him… Mercedes, get up there.” 

“Go Mercedes, go Mercedes, go!” Brittany cheered her on.

As each New Direction went to the set up and they moved up in line, Blaine noticed Quinn gnawing on the inside of her cheek nervously and rapidly tapping her foot.

“Someone’s excited to see Santa,” he teased in a song-song voice. She broke out of her nerves long enough to shoot Blaine a glare. “What’s up?” 

“My mom wants to meet Sam,” he spilled. 

Blaine dropped his jaw. “Q! That’s amazing!”

“Is it, though?” Her voice raised nearly an octave in her anxiety. “She saw the promise ring Sam gave me and immediately started grilling me about him, which like, I get, because the last guy I dated—and I use that term as loosely as possible—dropped a baby in me… We’ve been a lot closer since the divorce, and I am forever grateful for that, but I just know she’s going to be way too intense and I really love Sam and if she scares him off—”

“Quinn,” Blaine gently cut her off, grabbing her hand and squeezing until she let out the breath she’d been holding in. “Sam loves you. And he’s not going anywhere.”

She nodded. “Yeah… yeah, you’re right.” She eyed him carefully, a look that Blaine already knew meant she had a favor to ask. “But just to make sure… Can you come? Act as like a buffer?”

“Oh, I don’t know if that’s my place.”

“I’m _asking_ you, so it literally is your place.”

Blaine playfully rolled his eyes. “Well, I suppose it is Christmas.”

She launched herself into his arms. “Thank you thank you thank you!”

By the time she peeled herself off of him, Sam had finally climbed off of the mall Santa’s lap and returned to the line.

“What did you ask for?” Quinn asked, pulling Sam in for a quick kiss.

“Chapstick,” Sam said. Blaine expected the blond to burst out laughing, but realized he was dead serious when he continued. “Lots of chapstick. That and the Star Wars Christmas Special on DVD. It’s the only piece of Star Wars media ever created that I don’t own.”

Blaine snapped his head to Sam. “You like Star Wars?”

Sam cupped his hands over his mouth and gusted his breath out heavily before churning out what Blaine could only assume was supposed to be a James Earl Jones impression. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

“That’s awesome!” Blaine cried out happily. “How do you feel about superheroes? Have you seen the new Iron Man movie? I hear they’re making a new X-Men movie next year!”

“Dude, I love Marvel movies!” Sam said, holding his hand up for Blaine to hi-five it. “This is awesome. We can totally be like Wolverine and gay Cyclops!”

“Oh, god,” Quinn lamented. “How did this happen? The only two boys I care about are both huge dorks.”

Before Blaine could answer, Artie looked back at them and tugged on Blaine’s sleeve, pointing to Santa. “Remember to make your request believable,” Artie reminded him.

He internally groaned before walking up the steps and reluctantly taking a seat on the actor’s uncomfortably warm lap. 

“Ho, ho, ho, there, young man!” the actor said in a deep and throaty voice. “What can I get for a… seventh grader…?” He raised an eyebrow questioningly. Blaine just narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “Alright, that’s not important. What’s your name, kid?”

“Blaine.”

“That’s an interesting...ly wonderful name!” Blaine heard snickering coming from the crowd and looked down to see Quinn holding her phone up, snapping photos. Blaine made a mental note to ensure that she would dearly pay for that later. “And what do _you_ want for Christmas?”

“Serotonin,” he mumbled half-heartedly, and Artie shot him a pointed glare. Blaine pursed his lips and brought his shoulders up to his ears. “Kidding! Um, raspberry hair gel, I guess.”

“I’ve been getting a lot of… interesting requests from you kids,” Santa chuckled humorlessly, dead eyes boring into Blaine. 

“Yeah, well my guess is they’re gonna get weirder,” Blaine said as he hopped off of the mall actor’s lap. “Merry Christmas!”

As he headed back to the crowd, Brittany stopped him and looked very seriously into his eyes.

“I don’t think it was very wise of you to use Santa to enable your addiction to bad hair management, but in the spirit of the holiday, I still hope your Christmas wishes come true.”

She bounced past him, eager for her meeting with Santa, while Blaine connected his eyebrows. “Thanks…?”

As soon as he reached Quinn he stared her down. “Quinn Fabray, you delete those pictures.”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you,” she teased. “I’m too focused on the woman of the hour finally getting her Christmas wish.” She gestured to Brittany who was now sitting on Santa’s lap.

“What's your name?” He asked.

“Brittany. You've gotten really tan,” she giggled like a child.

Blaine brought a hand up to his mouth to cover his laugh.

“That's because at the North Pole, there's a hole in the ozone.” Jesus, this Santa did not give a single fuck.

“You're amazing,” she laughed. “I know you're really busy, so I only want one thing for Christmas. Do you see my boyfriend over there?” She pointed Artie out and he gave them a small wave. “For Christmas… I want him to be able to walk.”

All of the New Directions simultaneously froze.

“You can do that, can't you, Santa?”

Surely, Blaine thought, the actor in front of them had the common sense to say no to the impossible request, or at the very least take into consideration the twelve teenagers shaking their heads and gesturing negatively at him.

“Sure,” Santa said, not sounding very sure at all. “I’m on it.”

Blaine dipped his heads into his hands.

“Thank you so much, Santa!”

“Now we're screwed,” mumbled Artie.

* * *

Kurt sat alone in the senior commons, working on some homework when Nick walked up to the table and placed a package on it. He slid it towards him. “Package for Kurt Hummel,” he said. “I’m going to need you to sign for this.”

Kurt looked up at his fellow Warbler with surprise. “Is it common practice to get the new kid a Christmas gift or…?”

“Oh,” Nick said, as if realizing what Kurt might think. “No, I—it’s not from me.”

“Then who’s it from?”

“Uhhhhh,” Nick scoured his brain for a suitable answer. “An anonymous donor?”

“Oh god, is it Sebastian?” Kurt asked, a hint of worry in his voice. He hadn’t gotten him anything, so it would be really weird if the head warbler had gone out of his way to get Kurt a Christmas present.

“It’s n—” Nick stopped himself. “I will neither confirm nor deny the source of this gift from an anonymous donor. But they asked me to give it to you, and they are my friend—as are you—and so I did.”

Kurt looked up at Nick dubiously. “Uh-huh. Well, tell your anonymous donor,” Kurt marked the words with an eye roll. “That I said thank you.”

“I will,” Nick said, turning to leave before the other boy was able to open it. 

As Nick left, Kurt picked up the box and examined it carefully. He probably should’ve waited for Christmas, but nobody was in the room, and if he had to read one more paragraph about integers or whatever, he was going to explode. He’d earned a break.

He carefully peeled back the wrapping paper and opened the parcel.

Kurt wasn’t sure which one of the many emotions rushing through him caused his eyes to burn with tears, but he knew the last thing he expected to see in the box was the familiar glass container in it.

He took in a shuddering breath when he reached in and pulled out the item, then closed his hands around it, gently but securely as he clutched it to his chest.

There are only three people in the world who would even know how much _this_ would mean to him. 

Finn would have never been able to tell it apart from any other fragrance, and his dad… well, Kurt remembered the mess his dad was when he’d gotten the news of his mom’s passing. He had to call his sister—Kurt’s aunt—just to go through her things, because Burt just couldn’t bear it. It took years for his dad to be able to even look through any of the things she left behind. There’s no way it could have been him.

Blaine… he was the “anonymous donor”.

For a fleeting moment, Kurt was deeply touched and grateful.

But then he was just _pissed_.

How _dare_ Blaine give him something so sweet and heartfelt and beautiful and perfect? How dare he act like he didn’t take Kurt’s heart and shatter it not a month ago? 

Blaine didn’t even see him off when he announced his transfer, just hid god knows where while he said goodbye to everything he’d known for the past two and a half years.

Blaine told him he didn’t love him anymore, but then went and did _this?_

“What’cha got there?” 

Kurt’s head snapped up at the sound of Sebastian’s voice, hurriedly throwing the bottle back in the box and closing it.

“Secret Santa obligation from the New Directions,” he lied.

“Cool,” Sebastian said dismissively. “I have something I wanna show you.”

He crouched down to bend over his backpack and eventually pulled out a ziplock full of cash. 

Kurt’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Oh my—what is _that?”_

“I know the Warblers are all pretty busy right now, but you kind of inspired me the other day to do a little charitable fundraising of my own.”

“Can I ask why?”

Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t like a lot of guys the way I like you, Kurt… You make me want to be a better person and _wow_ that sounded lame even to me.”

Kirt rolled his eyes. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but how did you raise all that money so quickly?”

“I may or may not have made photoshopped nude photos of Ben Afleck and I may or may not have used my fake ID to sneak into the local gay bar and sell them for ten dollars a print.”

He sputtered out a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m an _entrepreneur.”_

“And a philanthropist, apparently.” Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. “Why, though, did you want to show this to me?”

“Because I’ve never been to a charity or anything and I was hoping you’d come with me to drop it off. In the spirit of Christmas.”

Kurt looked at the box, then back at Sebastian. He slid it into his pocket. “Yeah. I’d like to do that.

* * *

Blaine held one of the flash cards he’d made up to his head. “Three topics to avoid,” he instructed. “Go.”

Sam counted them on his fingers, racking his brain for the study material Blaine and Quinn provided him. “Uh, tattoos, Quinn’s dad, and 2008 election results!”

“Ding ding ding!” Blaine exclaimed, pointing a finger to Sam. “Ten points to team Fabrevans.”

Sam brough his fist in towards himself. “Yes!”

Quinn opened her mouth. “Fabrevans is technically the only team—”

“Next question: how do you respond when Connie asks you if you’ve slept together yet.”

“Lie through my teeth and say I respect her daughters born-again-virgin status.” He turned to Quinn. “Not that if you _were_ a born again virgin I wouldn’t respect it,” he clarified.

“I think the worst thing about this is how effective it is,” Quinn mumbled. 

“Oof,” Blaine shook his head. “So close, but you forgot to mention that taking Quinn to the chastity ball is one of your top priorities. Half points.”

Sam snapped one of his fingers. “Darn it! The chastity ball, why do I always forget about the damn chastity ball?” He muttered to himself.

“Okay, out of the car!” Quinn demanded. “It’s officially six fifty-five and with my mother, early is on time and on time is late and late is _unacceptable_ , so let’s go!”

She shooed them out of the car, ignoring their protests. At the front porch, Sam reached out to ring the doorbell. 

Quinn facepalmed. “It’s my house, Sam. I have a key.” She brushed past him and quickly unlocked the door before announcing. “Mom, we’re home!”

Blaine followed her inside and suddenly realized that in the long time he’d known Quinn, this was the first he’d ever been to her house. Which, of course, made perfect sense last year, since she had been living with him. 

He recognized the blonde woman striding towards them as Mrs. Fabray, Quinn’s mom. He stuck his hound out politely. “It’s nice to officially meet you, Mrs. Fabray.”

“You, too, Sam.” She looked over to her daughter. “He’s smaller than I imagined, but I do appreciate his etiquette.”

“Oh, my god, mom,” Quinn groaned. “That’s Blaine! Blaine Anderson? He was literally there when I gave birth last year!”

She pouted slightly. “Hm, I don’t recall.”

“That’s perfectly alright,” Blaine chuckled. “The circumstances under which we first crossed paths last year were… quite hectic, to say the least.” Blaine hadn’t needed to impress a friend’s parent in so long (and god knows he couldn’t get through a conversation with Burt without looking like a complete buffoon), but he internally stewed around in his own pride over how easily it came back to him. _I’ve still got it._

Quinn stared back at him with an even mix of condescension and amusement, knowing Blaine was loving every minute of this.

“Um, I’m Sam,” the blond finally said, reaching out to greet Quinn’s mom. “It’s awes—wonderful to finally meet you.”

“Ah, so this is the famous Sam I’ve heard so much about.” She turned and sauntered off to the dining room. “This way, children. Dinner’s just about ready.”

They took their seats at the table and she left to the kitchen to retrieve dinner.

“It smells delicious, doesn’t it, Sam?” Blaine discreetly nudged his friend and gave him a pointed look.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, Mrs. Fabray. I love… meatloaf?” He raised a questioning eyebrow at Blaine.

“It’s actually a Roast Beef tenderloin with wine sauce, dear,” she gently corrected him while bringing out the dish to the table and serving the kids.

“Well, I’m sure it’s going to be nothing less than…” Sam slyly lifted his hand to read the words scrawled on it in black ink. “delectable,” he finally replied, earning an approving nod and discreet wink from Blaine.

“Thank you. So how is glee club going for you kids?”

Blaine looked over at Sam, a cue for him to take this one. Sam swallowed down a fork full of side green beans before answering. “Pretty chill—uh, good, I mean. We went caroling class to class to raise money for charity, but that didn’t go so well because the students kind of hate us. But we tried again in the teachers lounge today and I think things went pretty well!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful to hear,” Mrs. Fabray said, cutting into her meat. “Christmas is a familial holiday, after all… What’s your family like?”

The blond straightened up a little. “My mom’s an elementary teacher and my dad works part time as a contractor so he can take care of my little brother and sister.”

“Oh, how sweet. How old are they?”

“Eight and ten.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings,” Blaine jumped in. “That’s about the age difference between me and my older brother, Cooper.”

Connie’s jaw dropped. “Wait a second, Cooper Anderson? As in the actor from those free credit rating commercials? Oh, he’s a dreamy one. Wasn’t he an extra in the latest Star Trek movie?”

Blaine saw Sam’s mouth open and discreetly tapped his shin underneath the table. “Now is not the time for a Spock impression,” he whispered out of the side of his mouth while Quinn nodded in confirmation at her mother’s question.

“And what about the rest of your family, Blaine?” Mrs. Fabray asked. 

“Oh,” Blaine felt his eyebrows raise, not really expecting the question. “Well, uh, my mom is a speech therapist and child psychologist. She works a lot with kids with speech impediments and non-verbal children with Autism.”

“And your father?”

Blaine’s stomach twisted. His mom and Cooper were the only family he needed, so much so that he often forgot that not having a dad around wasn’t the norm. “He’s uh… not in the picture anymore.”

Sam looked up from his plate. “Oh, dude. I didn’t know,” he mumbled.

Blaine just gave Sam a quick and grateful nod. Now wasn’t the time to get into it, but he appreciated the acknowledgment of sympathy.

Quinn’s mom looked back at Blaine sympathetically. “Deadbeat dads seem to be in great abundance here in Lima.” She looked at Sam. “But you‘re not a deadbeat, are you Sam?”

Sam swallowed nervously.

“Jesus, mom!” hissed Quinn.

“I’m only mostly kidding,” Connie said coolly. “You know I only want what’s best for you, Quinnie.”

“I know,” she replied, then looked over at Sam adoringly. “I think Sam is that for me.”

Blaine felt the bitter pang of nostalgia as he remembered last year, when his mom had practically demanded Blaine bring Kurt home for dinner. They’d laughed and talked all evening, and only a day later, Kurt had been the first person Blaine ever told about what happened with his dad.

Now Kurt wouldn’t even talk to him.

But Blaine hoped the gift he’d gotten Kurt would smooth things over. He didn’t know what he’d do if they didn’t.

* * *

“So, how much did we raise?”

“Three hundred bucks! And that’s after my cut,” Puck said. “I'm kidding,” he amended at Blaine’s glare.

“Now that you're divorced and Miss Pillsbury married another guy I guess you'll be spending Christmas Eve alone,” said Rachel bluntly. Blaine elbowed her in the rib cage.

“Yes, Rachel, I am,” said their director morosely.

“If you want, you can come over to my house. We're gonna eat Chinese and watch _The Main Event_.”

“Thanks, Rachel. I think I'm gonna pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.”

Blaine chuckled, but stopped dead in his tracks as the he and the rest of the New Directions crossed into the threshold of the choir room.

“Artie. Oh, my God…” Tina exclaimed.

Artie stood in the middle of the room—stood—with the help of some mechanical contraptions strapped to his legs. Then, he took a step forward.

“It's called a ReWalk,” he explained with a huge smile on his face. “Some guy in Israel invented it. I can't use it all the time, but… Check me out!”

“Where did you get it?” Mike asked. The choir slowly made their way around Artie, still in awe.

“We went home, and it was sitting under my Christmas tree.”

“How the hell did you afford that thing?” Blaine murmured, low enough that Brittany couldn’t hear.

“I didn't buy it,” Artie confessed.

Brittany shrugged, still staring happily at her boyfriend. “I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.”

“I assumed her dad got it for me, but he has no idea where it came from,” Artie explained quietly. “He went to take a long poop, and when he came back, it was there.”

“So if no one we know bought it for you, then…”

“Santa brought it,” Brittany confirmed.

“A real Christmas miracle.”

* * *

_Inhale… Exhale…_

Kurt repeated the words silently to himself like a mantra as he pulled up to Blaine’s driveway, a reminder that he _was_ still breathing, even if it didn’t feel like it.

He undid his seatbelt and picked up the box from the passenger seat, telling himself the only reason he didn’t want to get off was because it was too cold and he hadn’t brought earmuffs. He mustered up all the courage he had left and climbed out of the car towards the porch.

He lifted a balled up fist to knock on the door before stopping himself. 

All Kurt had thought about for days since receiving Blaine’s gift was the satisfaction it would bring him to shove it back in his face and tell him to leave well enough alone. To tell him that Kurt never wanted to see him again.

But now that he was here—standing out in the blistering cold on his ex’s porch—he knew it wouldn’t be satisfying or cathartic or anything except just as painful as the day they broke up. He wasn’t ready.

He moved to place the half opened box down on the front porch, but not before taking out one of his dad’s business cards that he always kept in his wallet and spraying it with the perfume until it was almost too wet to keep its integrity.

He carefully placed the business card back in his wallet and inhaled the scent of his mother before folding it back up and slipping it back into his pocket.

Shakily, he placed the half opened box on Blaine’s porch before getting back into his car and taking off to meet Sebastian.

* * *

Blaine had a pretty good week.

He realized this as he pulled into his driveway after coming home from Mr. Shue’s little Christmas Eve get together.

The glee club had helped Brittany continue to believe in Santa and raised money for the children’s shelter. Dinner with Quinn’s mom had gone well and Blaine felt his newfound friendship with Sam could be something really great.

On top of it all, it was Christmastime, and nothing could bring him down from his holiday high. 

Nothing except the box on his porch he didn’t notice until he felt glass grind underneath his shoes and heard the sharp crunch of it breaking.

Blaine retracted his foot, heart clenching when he saw the familiar remnants of Kurt’s mother’s perfume bottle glistening from within the destroyed box. With shaking hands, he lifted the damaged present and took a look at the handwritten note in an all too familiar writing that read: _Return to sender._

As Blaine felt the sting of tears, he couldn’t help but wonder how the hell he and Kurt got to this point. Their relationship so mangled that Kurt wouldn’t even accept his late mother’s perfume if it meant accepting it from Blaine.

A wave of dread passed over him. He was suddenly very, _very_ aware of how completely and utterly he had destroyed what he had with Kurt. 

Even when they got into fights and hadn’t been talking to one another, they’d at least see each other in the halls and in glee club rehearsal, and eventually one of them would cave.

This was different. 

Kurt left the present on his porch. With a note. Kurt didn’t want to see or speak to him at all. 

Not for the first time since the breakup, Blaine replayed the last words Kurt had spoken to him. _I will never forgive you for this._ And for the first time since then, Blaine believed them.

Kurt used to be his best friend, and Blaine his. They’d been thick as thieves, two peas in a pod, soulmates—and yes, Blaine knew how ridiculous it sounded for a seventeen year old to call his boyfriend his soulmate, but that’s what it _was_. 

None of that mattered now. Their bond was just as shattered as the glass sliding around in the crumpled up box. The glass that he broke.

God, they weren’t even really together last Christmas, but it still was better than… _this_. The memory filled his mind before he could have the good sense to stop it.

_Blaine knocked on the side of the open door to Kurt’s room. “Hey, your dad let me in.”_

_Kurt immediately slammed his history textbook shut and bolted up from his desk towards Blaine. He reached behind Blaine and sent the door shut behind him, grabbing Blaine’s shirt and bringing their lips together._

_“Kurt!” Blaine laughed against Kurt’s mouth before regrettably pulling away. “As much as I’m enjoying the uh, attention... I came because I need your help.”_

_“Uh, yeah?” Kurt pulled his head back and coked an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what we’re doing? This bros helping bros thing?”_

_“I meant_ **_musical_ ** _help.”_

_“Oh.” Kurt stepped away. “Um, my bad,” he said sheepishly._

_“I mean, I’m not complaining,” Blaine said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just really need you to sing with me.”_

_Kurt raised an eyebrow and bore a poorly held back smirk. “For?”_

_“I got a gig singing Baby, It’s Cold Outside for the Kings Island Christmas Spectacular. I was hoping I could bother you to rehearse with me.”_

_Kurt’s face faltered. “Um, yeah, sure,” he eventually agreed._

_Blaine knew It wasn’t their usual arrangement, but he still liked being with Kurt and singing with him. After all, they were_ **_friends_ ** _with benefits. And he had practically been in love with Kurt since the Defying Gravity Diva-Off, so although it wasn’t ideal (ideal being Kurt’s actual first boyfriend) he was going to take what he could get._

_“Awesome, thanks!” Blaine said, reaching for the chord that connected his phone to Kurt’s speaker with a practiced and comfortable ease. He gestured at Kurt to take the opening lines.  
  
_

_I really can't stay_

_But, baby, it's cold outside_

_I've got to go away_

_But, baby, it's cold outside_

_This evening has been_

_Been hoping that you'd drop in_

_So very nice_

_I'll hold your hands they're just like ice  
  
_

_Kurt sat on his computer chair, leaning back against it coquettishly. As Blaine came in on his part, he made his way towards Kurt, leaning in with a goofy grin on his face._

_My mother will start to worry_

_Beautiful, what's your hurry_

_My father will be pacing the floor_

_Listen to the fireplace roar_

_So really I'd better scurry_

_Beautiful, please don't hurry_

_Well, maybe just half a drink more_

_Put some records on while I pour  
  
_

_  
The neighbors might think_

_Baby, it's bad out there_

_Say what's in this drink_

_No cabs to be had out there_

_I wish I knew how_

_Your eyes are like starlight now_

_To break this spell_

_I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell  
  
_

_Kurt playfully turned from Blaine, who responded by turning, grabbing the back of the chair, and twirling Kurt around in it. Between lines, Kurt let out a giggle of amusement._

_He got up from the chair and strode across his room to lean against his bookcase, trying to keep up the banter.  
  
_

_I ought to say no, no, no, sir_

_Mind if I move in closer_

_At least I'm gonna say that I tried_

_What's the sense of hurting my pride_

_I really can't stay_

_Baby, don't hold doubt_

_Baby, it's cold outside_

_  
I simply must go_

_Baby, it's cold outside_

_The answer is no_

_Baby, it's cold outside_

_The welcome has been_

_How lucky that you dropped in_

_So nice and warm_

_Look out the window at the storm  
  
_

_Blaine followed him to the bookcase, and Kurt started off to sit on the bed, keeping up the playful cat-and-mouse act.  
  
_

_My sister will be suspicious_

_Gosh your lips look delicious_

_My brother will be there at the door_   
  


_Kurt came in on his entrance just fine, but promptly stopped when Blaine missed his. He turned to see what was the matter and..._

_Blaine knew as soon as he got one look at Kurt’s face that he wasn’t going to finish this rehearsal. Kurt had hardly gotten the first questioning sounds of Blaine’s name out before the other boy leaned forward and grabbed at the side of Kurt’s face, pulling their lips together._

_“Yeah, pretty stupid of me to think I could get through this act and keep my hands off of you.”_

_Kurt nodded, mouth opening up into a grin. “Well I, for one, am very grateful for your lack of self control.”_

_“Oh, you’re one to talk, mister tackle me before I’m even through the door,” Blaine teased._

_“Hey,” Kurt murmured, turning a bit more earnest for a moment. He knew he was just going to blur the line between friends and benefits even more, but he couldn’t help himself. “I just want to let you know that I um… I haven’t really enjoyed Christmas in a long time. So… I’m really glad that I have you to spend the holidays with. It’s our first Christmas… together,” he added timidly._

_Blaine tugged on Kurt’s arm and brought their lips together. Blaine pulled away and earnestly gazed back into Kurt’s eyes._

_“The first of many.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FOrMATTING IS A BITCH
> 
> also I wrote the very last lines for this today and... just started crying i'm so soft wtf


	10. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: as usual, huge thank you to my Beta, [Adri](somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com). Bless her soul and her ability to make these chapters coherent enough to post and always being there to help me untangle my thoughts!
> 
> Enjoy!

The McKinley High Titans stood huddled around each other, just before the final few seconds of their pre-conference game.

“I just want to take a minute to tell you guys how proud of you I am,” Finn started. “We didn't even have to win this game to go to championship next week but nobody took it off. And when we take a knee, we're gonna finish first in conference for the first time in McKinley history.”

Puck threw his fist up in the air in victory. “Football is back, bitches!” He was met with cheers, the most enthusiastic coming from Blaine, who had a great big grin on his face up until someone ruined the fun. 

“Maybe we should all break out into a song after we win,” Karofsky remarked.

“Shut it, Karofsky,” Blaine growled.

“No fricking way,” he replied. “I figure if I stay on you, you'll run away like your little butt buddy Hummel.” 

Blaine charged, but Puck and Finn already had an arm each stretched across his frontside, knowing the lineman’s comment would set him off. Finn took a step forward, letting Puck keep Blaine subdued.

“That's funny, Karofsky, how you're calling everybody gay all the time but you never seem to have a girlfriend,” said Finn.

Now, it was Karofsky’s turn to rush forward. In an instant, Puck released his grip on Blaine and both of them surged forward, stepping in front of Finn and blocking Karofsky’s path.

“I don’t think so,” said Blaine, his eyes flashing.

Karofsky grunted and tossed his head behind him, glaring at Finn. “I really hope that linebacker doesn't get the jump on me. I bet it would hurt like hell to get sacked by him.”

“Ignore him,” Blaine muttered. “Let’s win this game.”

Finn nodded and called for the huddle to break. “All right. Slot left on one. Ready, break!”

_ “Break!” _

* * *

The Titans begrudgingly trudged back into the locker room, their coach right on their tail. After their final huddle, the game had gone to shit. Blaine knew he’d never admit to it, but it was obvious that Karofsky had been letting the opposing team’s defensive linebackers through to get to Finn. He’d been sacked three times, all through Karofsky’s zone, and it had cost them the game.

“What a joke. What the hell happened?” Beiste demanded. “Finn, you're the captain. Talk!” 

“Karofsky  _ sucks!  _ That's what happened!” Finn angrily threw his helmet across the locker room.

“I second that,” Blaine added frustratedly, glaring at the lineman.

“That's crap!” Karofsky snapped back. “Hudson's a freaking girl and couldn't take a joke about his precious Glee Club.”

“Because we’re sick of you guys getting down on us for it!” Blaine cried. “We're in Glee Club. What's the big deal?” 

“It's embarrassing,” Azimio jumped in. “We're dudes. Getting all hot and bothered about singing a Kesha song—It's freakin' weird.”

“Maybe you'll think it's cooler when I go all Tik Tok on your face!” Puck lunged forward threateningly before Beiste slammed an arm across his chest.

“Stop that now! That's enough!”

“Championship game or not, I am  _ not  _ blocking for him!” Karofsky shouted, pointing a furious finger at Finn.

Their coach was livid, her face crimson with rage. She pointed a finger outside. “Get the hell out of here!”

“Fine!” Karofsky yelled back before storming out of the locker room.

“Go! Bunch of babies!”

* * *

Any hope that the tension between the football team and the glee club would simmer down later that week was absolutely shattered when Artie rolled into the choir room, covered head to toe in red dye number six.

“Oh, my God,” Tina wailed. “Artie!”

“It was awful,” he said, still shivering from the ice thrown on him. 

Artie had never been slushied before. Nearly everyone else in the club had already been, but up until now, the football team had left him alone. Even they understood there was something fundamentally wrong with that. 

They’d crossed a line this time.

“That's it,” Blaine said, slapping the sheet music in his hand down against the empty chair next to him. “Screw rehearsal.”

“I’m with Blainers,” Puck said angrily, and Blaine didn’t even chastise him for the annoying nickname. Puck stood up as Finn, Sam, and Mike joined him. “This ends here and now. We're gonna go all Thunderdome on those guys.”

The five boys stormed towards the door with a rekindled determination, only to be stunned into taking a few steps back when the people they least expected to walk into the choir room did exactly that. 

“So this is what the ladies' lounge looks like on the inside,” one of the defensive linemen said as the rest of the McKinley football team filed in behind him.

“This is the choir room,” Sam explained. “Now put up your fists because you and I are gonna do some dancing.”

“Coach Beiste told us to come,” the lineman said. “Where is she?”

As if on cue, she appeared through the doorway, with Mr. Shue by her side.

“Everyone have a seat.” Mr. Shue said. The boys reluctantly heeded their teacher’s instructions.

“You too, guys.” Beiste ordered. Their faces twisting in confusion, the non-glee club football players hesitantly took the empty chairs on the risers.

“New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.”

On both sides, the outcry was instantaneous and deafening.

“Mr. Schue, are you serious?” Finn barked. “These are the guys that made Kurt transfer!”

“And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe,” Rachel added, delivering her nastiest glare to Karofsky, who was sitting down the aisle from her.

The lineman shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“I don't disagree with you guys,” Mr. Schue explained. “But I talked to Coach Beiste about it and she and I both agreed that the kind of bullying that David does is born out of ignorance. Having him in here, as difficult as it may be for us, is an opportunity to show him and the rest of the guys that being in Glee Club is kind of cool. You know, find some common ground.”

“All of you are gonna be in this Glee Club for one week, no exceptions,” ordered Beiste.

“She's bluffing,” said Karofsky. “Next week is the championship game. Without us, she has no team.”

“ _ With _ you, I have no team. You guys have gotta find a way to come together or we're gonna get our asses kicked from here until Tuesday finds a saddlebag full of buckwheat!”

“If I have to stay, I'm not singing no show tunes,” Azimio said, as if this were something that could be bargained. “That is the music of my oppressors.”

“Do you even have any idea what we do in here?” Blaine asked angrily.

“No. None of them do,” Mr. Shue answered when all thirty of the football players remained silent. “We have to show them. Rachel, Puck, haven't you guys been working on something? Why don't you give it a whirl?”

“Fine,” Rachel said huffily. “As offended as I am by their presence here ,I won't let anything get in the way of a performance.”

They sang through what Blaine would call a decent cover of Lady Antebellum’s  _ Need You Now. _ When it was over, all the New Directions cheered enthusiastically.

“Yeah,” Azimio agreed in a surprisingly supportive tone. “The girl with the Mohawk had a really nice voice.”

A laugh popped out from Puck’s mouth. “That's funny. That's good, man.” He started slowly unstrapping his guitar from his body—

“That's good…”

—and then lifted it high above himself in preparation to bring it down on his team mate’s ignorant head. Both teachers leapt into action, but they weren’t the only ones. 

Titans came surging forward to guard their linebacker while the New Directions came in like a tidal wave to protect their resident bad boy. The entire room exploded into chaos.

“Great first day, right?” Mr. Shue asked, trying to keep back his hollering students.

Beiste was trying to block the football team as well, but they both just ended up sandwiched in the middle of it all. 

“Awesome!”

* * *

**New Message:** **  
** **From: Rachel ⭐️** **  
** **The New Directions are in a CRISIS**

Kurt saw his phone light up on his desk during study hall. They weren’t supposed to have phones out, but Rachel catching him up on the latest McKinley drama sure as hell beat filling in the pi chart for pre-calculus.

**New Message:** **  
** **To: Rachel ⭐️** **  
** _ Okay, but to be fair, when aren’t we? _

**Karofsky and Azimio are in glee club.**

He blinked in astonishment at his phone.

_ Wait, WHAT? _

She didn’t respond for a while after that.

_ Rachel Berry you can NOT just drop a bomb on me like that and then leave me on read! _

**Sorry! Sue Sylvester just… complicated the situation a tad. Will she ever find a hobby other than trying to single handedly ruin my chance at stardom?**

**Meet Mercedes and I at the Lima Bean after school so we can fill you in**

**And because we miss your skinny white ass!! - M <3**

**That was Mercedes**

_ Okay, I’ll see you this afternoon. _

* * *

“No fricking way.” Karofsky grunted.

Coach Sylvester had just announced that she moved the Cheerios regional competition to the same day as the championship game, which meant there would be no halftime show. Unless, as coach Beiste and Mr. Shue had suggested, the football players and glee club put one on themselves.

“We don't have a choice.” Blaine pointed out. “Sue pulled the Cheerios from the game, so if we don't perform together—New Directions and Titans—there's no halftime show.”

“And this is a problem because…?” Azimio trailed off, clearly peeved by the solution. 

“It's not a problem. It's an opportunity.” Coach Beiste pointed out.

“Opportunity to humiliate ourselves.”

“The whole point of this week was to bring you guys together. To bring the school together.”

“So you want us to play the first half change into some  _ seh-kween  _ ball gowns and then go out and do the halftime show at our own championship game?”

“Yes.”

“It's the championship game! This is a crazy town! This is crazy!”

“What about the Cheerios in Glee Club?” Puck asked.

“They have a choice.” Mr. Shue replied. “Us, or the Cheerios competition.”

“Well, obviously Quinn is gonna choose the Cheerios,” Rachel said in annoyance, a mildly condescending tone in her voice. Quinn glared at her, a shadow of disappointment behind her eyes.

“That's not fair.” Blaine immediately rose to her defense. “You don't know what she's gonna do.”

“I think the cheerleading competition is gonna be a lot of fun,” Mr. Shue admitted. “But if you go, you're gonna miss out on us doing the most iconic song of all time, the Super Bowl of pop anthems:  _ Thriller _ .”

The glee club all declared their interest in that idea with excited murmurs and “yeah”s. Blaine even noticed a few football players nodding along approvingly.

“Yeah, remember a few years ago when that Philippine prison did that mega performance of  _ Thriller _ and put it on YouTube? Now, in the four months it took to rehearse that number prisoner-on-prisoner crime dropped 80%. Doing that, together, as a team created a unity within that prison. And that's what I'm looking to do here.”

“I mean, don't get me wrong.” Mercedes interjected. “You know, I'm big on Michael and everything but isn't that kind of what they're expecting us to do?”

“Which is why we're gonna mash it together with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' equally spooky single  _ Heads Will Roll _ .”

“Who's Yeah Yeah Yeah?” Azimio mumbled, looking around confusedly.

“New Directions, Titans we're going to zombie camp!”

* * *

Blaine was walking down the hallway when he caught a glimpse of Quinn walking out of Sue’s office. He smiled. She was probably just telling Sue to shove a sock in it, and that she’d be performing with the glee club instead of going to Regionals with the Cheerios.

“Quinn!” he called after her. She spun around and her face twisted into a sort of grimace.

“Oh, um, hey Blaine!”

He beamed, proud of her for making the right decision so soon after the announcement. “So how did Sue take the news? Silent seething or full blown Sue Sylvester meltdown?” he asked, nudging her shoulder playfully.

She didn’t laugh, or nudge him back, or even smile, and the realization dawned on Blaine that she might not have quit the Cheerios at all.

“Oh, no…” he mumbled. “Tell me you didn’t just quit the glee club to go be one of the Dragon Lady’s minions.”

“We’re not her  _ minions,”  _ she defended herself. “I prefer henchwomen. It’s much more inclusive.”

“What happened to keeping each other in check!?”

Quinn rolled her eyes and brushed past him with a scoff. “Well you got in a fight with Karofsky a few weeks ago, so let’s call it even.”

“That was different and you know it.” Blaine followed her. “Sue wants to shoot Brittany  _ out of a cannon!  _ She’s certifiably insane. Don’t you remember how fast she dropped you when she found out you were pregnant? She doesn’t give a damn about you. She’s  _ using  _ you.”

“And what if I need to use her?” Quinn spun around in a flash, like a tiger closing in on its prey. Blaine stumbled backwards, thrown off by her ferocity. “Or use the Cheerios, at least.”

“I—what-what do you mean?”

“You and I aren’t that different, Blaine.” She explained. “On top of the daddy issues and ridiculously high standards we set for ourselves, you hide behind that letterman the same way I hide behind this Cheerios uniform.”

He clenched his jaw. “I don’t  _ hide _ ,” he defended himself. “Do I appreciate the fact that being on the team keeps me safer than not being on it? Of course I do. I’m not ignorant.”

“Do you hear how hypocritical you sound!?”

“I’m sorry, did you forget about the death threats my boyfriend got earlier this year? And how the only thing standing between me and those same threats were the stupid status rules at this school?”

“I haven’t forgotten,” she said softly, and Blaine lowered his defenses just a little at her change in tone. “That’s why I need to do this.”

“What are you talking about?”

She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow, like she was contemplating what she was about to say. “I… Nothing.” She finally exhaled. “I love being in glee club. I love you. You’re my best friend. But I can’t go back to the dirty looks I’d get when I got pregnant last year. Or back to my mom possibly kicking me out,  _ again, _ or back to when it felt like nobody was on my side.”

“You won’t,” Blaine tried reassuring her. “I’ll always be on your side, come hell or highwater… You’re so much stronger than this, Q.”

She just looked at him with misty eyes. “I'm really not… I’m sorry, Blaine.” With that, she walked away.

* * *

“Appropriate outfits.”

After their latest zombie camp rehearsal, Blaine and the rest of the Titans were walking down the hall donning their zombie makeup when they bumped into Rick “The Stick” Nelson and some other hockey players.

“They represent the death of your guys's reign at this school.” Rick said.

“How many times do we have to put you puck-heads in your place before you realize that football rules the school?” Finn pointed out.

“Maybe,” Rick conceded. “But not after you make dancing fools of yourself at that halftime show. You know it, and we know it. The whole school knows it.”

“They'll think differently after they see it.” To Blaine’s surprise, it was Dave’s voice who’d defended them. “It's gonna be awesome!” Karofsky turned his head and met Blaine’s gaze for a millisecond before turning away.

“Holy shit! They turned Karofsky gay.”

The confidence from Karofsky’s face dissipated.. 

“What are you moose knuckles doing with those Slushies?” Puck asked, gesturing to the drinks in their hands. 

“Ready for the fireworks? It's Independence Day.”

Five minutes later, the football team was in the nearest bathroom, attempting to clean the various food dyes off themselves.

“Ow! My eyes! Burning!” Dave wailed.

Blaine rolled his eyes after blinking a few ice chunks from his lashes. “Just relax. It stops after a couple hours.”

“No fricking way I'm letting that happen again.”

“He's in the first stage of loserdom: denial,” Artie said.

“No! I am not a loser. And I don't sing and dance. I walk tall and carry a big stick!”

“Dude. Relax. This is gonna be fine,” Finn assured him.

“Yeah. Of course it is. 'Cause I'm quitting Glee Club.”

“No, you're not.” Everyone whipped around to see coach Beiste walk in. “Fact is, covered in ice and red dye number seven you guys look more like a team than you ever have out on that field.”

“I don't care,” Karofsky whined. “I'm out.”

“Then you're off the team.”

His jaw dropped. “No way. If we all quit, you barely have enough guys to play next week. It's the championship game. You're not gonna throw it away.”

“Try me,” she challenged him.

Karofsky started to walk out and Blaine found himself doing something he’d never thought he would. 

He placed a hand on Karofsky’s chest in an attempt to block his path. The taller boy glared down at him, and Blaine was suddenly made very aware of how much smaller he was than Dave. For a moment, he wondered how he ever got away with picking fights with him alive. Which also reminded him that he had just invaded the personal space of someone he had a history of skirmishing with. 

He quickly retracted his hand, but held his ground. “Don't do this. If we stand together, we do the halftime show, we can win this game. Really make a difference.”

Karofsky shook his head. “Good luck with that,” and walked out the door, taking most of the Titans with him. 

Once he was sure he’d gotten most of the ice and dye out of his hair, Blaine finally pushed the door open to the restroom. At least he had glee club and would get to see Quinn—

Right.

He was turning a corner when he ran into Mercedes and Rachel, car keys dangling from Mercedes’s hands. “Are you two quitting glee club, too?” he asked, a bit bitterly.

Mercedes looked at him pitifully. “Mr. Shue cancelled practice for today so he and Beiste could regroup, you know… after everyone quit everything.”

Blaine looked down sullenly. Great. No best friend, no football game, and now he didn’t even have glee club.

“But, we’re heading to the Lima Bean right now, if you want to join us,” Rachel offered.

Mercedes shot her a glare that was both murderous and stunned. “What about K—” she tried.

Rachel cut her off, strung her arm through Blaine’s, and smiled. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.” She leaned over and whispered to Mercedes. “Kurt will get over it.”

Blaine smiled warmly at them. “Thanks. You guys are the best.”

* * *

“Thanks for giving me a ride,” Kurt said as he and Nick walked into the familiar coffee shop. “You really didn’t have to.”

“Oh but I did,” Nick said. “I needed an excuse to enable my caramel latte addiction. What time are your friends getting here again?”

Kurt peeled off his scarf and shrugged, heading off to save a table. “They should be here soon—” Dizziness overcame Kurt when he caught a glimpse of his ex walking through the glass doors with his two best friends. “Oh, my god.” 

Nick glanced down at Kurt with concern. “Dude, you alright?” he asked before following Kurt’s gaze. “Oh…” Mercedes and Blaine broke off from Rachel to stand in line, while she came to greet Kurt.

“You didn’t mention you’d be bringing… competition,” she said through a tight lipped smile.

Kurt pursed his lips right back at her. “And you didn’t say you’d be bringing my recent ex, and yet, here we are.”

“He was… having a rough day.”

“Well, now I am, too, so thanks for that.”

“We didn’t want him to be alone.”

Kurt clenched his jaw. “Yeah, well I didn’t want to be alone back in November, but we don’t always get what we want, do we?” He whipped around to head over to place his order, but immediately crashed head on to a familiar torso.

Blaine fumbled, nearly tipping over the two cups of coffee in his hands before regaining his balance. He sucked in a breath. “Kurt.”

They stood there for a beat, suspended in silence.

“I… I didn’t know you were coming until we were halfway here,” Blaine admitted. “And by then Rachel wouldn’t take no for an answer… Um, here,” he extended one of the cups out towards Kurt’s chest. “Grande nonfat mocha.” 

Kurt stared at the green and white cup like it might’ve had arsenic in it. “Thanks,” he finally said coldly, brushing past him. “But I can get my own coffee.”

"Kurt…” he stopped walking, still unable to leave Blaine behind after all these weeks. “Can… can we please be friends?” Blaine finally asked timidly. “Even if we're not together… like that, we were always good friends.”

Kurt felt his jaw clench and he finally swiveled around to face him. “You said you didn’t love me,” he spat, feeling the sting of tears build up. “That’s not something you come back from.”

“I–that was never my intention...to hurt you.”

“Oh, did you expect me to throw a party?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. “All I want… is to spend some much overdue time catching up with the people I’m actually friends with. Can you let me do that in peace?”

Kurt didn’t wait for a response, or even get back in line for the coffee he so desperately needed, just went back to the table. The sooner this was over with, the better.

“Okay,” he said, taking a seat next to Nick and across from Rachel and Mercedes and not anywhere near somewhere he could even make remote eye contact with Blaine. “So what the hell is going on over in that hellscape you call school?”

Mercedes and Rachel filled Kurt in on everything, from the Titans joining and almost immediately quitting the glee club, to Sue pulling the Cheerios from the halftime show.

Blaine stayed uncharacteristically quiet the whole time and a wave of guilt passed over Kurt because damn, he really  _ did _ have a rough day. If the Cheerios in the glee club had all quit, that meant that Quinn had quit, and Blaine’s relationship with her was probably on the rocks.

Nick opened his mouth to say something before pausing to pull out his buzzing phone. He furrowed his eyebrows at the screen and held up a finger. “Sorry, it’s Jeff,” he put the phone to his ear. “Hey babe, what’s up? No, yeah, I’ll be back in time for Warbler practice… I’m at the Lima Bean… Blaine and—yes,  _ Blaine _ .  _ Yes _ , the one from—Kurt’s here, too, and some of their McKinley friends... Dunno, they’re having some sort of public school crisis… Yeah, okay. Love you, too, bye. 

“Sorry about that,” Nick started after slipping his phone back in his pocket. “Anyways, the good news is that you only need a few more players to have a team.”

Rachel snapped her head towards him. “What?”

“Yeah,” Nick confirmed. “High school regulations let you play a couple guys short of you want. Dunno why I remember that. It was something random Blaine mentioned to me in passing one time.”

Blaine’s eyes widened in recollection. “God, I completely forgot about that. Cooper was on the team one year, and they lost a lot of guys to the flu. They weren’t any good back then, but the refs let them play. I think we’d only need like, three or so players.”

“Maybe you can round up three randoms,” Kurt suggested in his excitement, before realizing that he was technically responding to Blaine.

Mercedes shook her head. “Beiste tried that. Nobody wants to be on the Titans now that everyone else bailed.”

Rachel raised an eyebrow. “What if the glee girls did it?”

“Rachel, you’ve never held a football in your life,” Kurt pointed out.

“We don’t need to be  _ good _ ,” she pointed out. “We just have to be  _ there _ .” She stood up, chair scraping against the tile in her excitement, and yanked on Mercedes and Blaine’s hands. “Come on, guys! Emergency glee club meeting!”

Kurt lolled his head over towards Nick. “She’s just kind of like this.”

Kurt gave Rachel and Mercedes a quick wave as the latter dragged the two of them out the door.

“You’re friends are kind of crazy,” Nick said. Kurt just nodded in agreement. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick. Be right back.”

When he was gone, Kurt started to tidy up the table, not wanting to leave a mess behind, when the bell chimed one last time. Kurt turned his head to see Blaine rushing in. His stomach churned and he folded his arms over his chest protectively. 

“What do you want?”

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Blaine heaved, out of breath from running back in so quickly. “I know you don’t want to see me right now but… I didn’t want to forget.” He held out a hand.

Kurt stared at the paper in Blaine’s grasp for a moment before pursing his lips and looking back up at him. “What the hell is that?”

“A ticket to the Titans’ championship game. It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t have all the New Directions there.”

“Yeah, well I’m not a New Direction anymore, am I?”  _ You made damn sure of that. _

Blaine flinched at the harsh words. “Listen, Kurt, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” He pushed past the biggest feelings of insecurity he’d ever felt in his life and gently nudged the ticket into Kurt’s hands. “But I know a few other football players who would really appreciate your presence.”

Kurt stared at him. Why was Blaine doing this? Making it so much harder to hate him, so much harder to... stop loving him? First Christmas, now this?

“You can hate me if you want,” Blaine started up again.  _ I know I deserve it. _ “But they miss you and I think seeing you there would mean the world to them.”

There was a honk from the curb just outside the door and Blaine snapped his head towards the sound to see Mercedes and Rachel waiting patiently for him. Well, Mercedes was waiting. Rachel was leaning across the passenger seat to try and reach Mercedes’s horn again, while Mercedes slapped her hand away.

“Just… think about it,” Blaine pleaded, before turning and walking out the doors.

* * *

Kurt sat in his room, trying his damnedest to stay focused on whichever obscure historical figure this week’s test was on and failing miserably due to the ticket Blaine had given him burning a hole through his desk drawer.

He really should go… The glee girls were all going to be on that field, performing and playing like the bad asses they were, and so would Finn. On the other hand, so would Blaine, and Kurt hadn’t quite decided if that was a good thing or a bad thing yet. 

They had been terrible at being just friends last year, if Madonna week was any indicator. What made Blaine think they could go backwards like that? He had been the one to end things, so he should know the proper progression of things. Friends, boyfriends, exes… They couldn’t just start from scratch again as if nothing ever happened, especially not when Kurt was still so hung up on Blaine. 

No, the best course of action was definitely for him to keep his distance. He needed a Blaine cleanse so he could finally stop having feelings for him, the way Blaine didn’t have feelings for Kurt anymore. Level the playing field.

Still...

They were doing  _ Thriller…  _

As an aspiring performer, he had an obligation to expose himself to as much repertoire he possibly could, right?

He quickly checked his watch. If he hurried, he could still make it for the end of the first quarter.

Like a lightning bolt, he ripped his desk drawer open and dug out the ticket, leaving his chair still spinning as he exited the room

* * *

“Are we about to get our asses handed to us?” Mike asked the small huddle of glee clubbers.

“No!” Rachel cried chipperly.

“Probably,” Puck deadpanned.

Blaine dug an elbow into his friend’s rib cage, then threw on his fakest thousand-watt smile to the remaining Titans and glee girls. “We’re gonna be just fine.”

Finn nodded in agreement. “Alright, red Judy on five, okay?” The football players all nodded and Finn clapped his hands once. “Break!”

The huddle broke and everyone took their places while Tina cried out, “Wait, who’s Judy?”

Meanwhile, Kurt stood at the front of the bleachers, scanning them for his dad and Carole.

“Hey kiddo,” Burt called out, flagging down his son. “I thought you had homework to do?” he asked as Kurt slid down the aisle of the bleachers.

Kurt simply shrugged, unable to keep his eyes from scouring the field for the familiar white number six over Blaine’s red jersey as he took his seat. “I finished early.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Burt hummed dubiously.

They watched the game for a few minutes, Kurt cheering whenever his dad and Carole did, and following other audience members as they clapped. 

He awww’d in disappointment when their kicker missed the field goal attempt (that was one set of rules he wouldn’t forget).

Finn snapped the ball, then searched for an outlet to throw it to as the linemen easily stepped around Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina’s dormant bodies. He hurdled it down the field and sent it right into Blaine’s arms. 

Kurt jumped to his feet and instinctively cupped his hands over his mouth. “Go Blaine!” he cheered, while the running backs of the opposing team chased after him. 

Kurt’s heart jolted, like a slamming on the breaks when you’re going ninety, when the opposing team’s safety slammed into the boy he once called his best friend with a sickening  _ crunch _ . Blaine was pinned to the ground and the rest of the defensive line started dog-piling on him before one of the referees blew their whistle and ran onto the field, arms waving wildly in an attempt to break up the stack of players.

_ His ribs, _ was the only thought Kurt’s frantic brain could spew out.  _ His dad cracked one of his ribs. Sadie Hawkins broke two. They could break again. I told him he shouldn’t be playing this stupid game, that he could get seriously and permanently hurt. Why is he so damn stubborn… Oh my god, please get up. Get  _ **_up_ ** _ , Blaine. _

A hush fell over the crowd as the glee boys took a knee on the field, the girls quickly following suit.

A few trainers rushed into the field and lifted Blaine, carrying him to the sidelines, and Kurt found himself rising from his seat, running down the bleachers two at a time.

“Where’re you going?” his dad called after him.

“That was Blaine!” Kurt said, voice cracking with concern. That was all he needed to say for his dad to understand.

When Kurt finally made it off the bleachers, one of the trainers stood by the half walled fence that surrounded the field and held her hands out, blocking his path. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Players and coaches only, kid.” 

“Please,” he begged her. “The player who just got hit… he’s my… we’re…” He struggled to find the right words to describe the mangled relationship between he and his ex, before remembering Blaine’s request from earlier in the week. His chest tightened with guilt at denying it. “He’s my best friend.”

The trainer looked at Kurt pitfully for a moment before sighing and allowing him passage to the side of the field. He ran as fast as he could to the cot where Blaine lay, coach Beiste at his side murmuring softly to him. Kurt’s stomach twisted in anxiety. 

“Is he gonna be okay?”

Coach Beiste whipped her head around to find the voice behind her, a smile placing itself on her lips when she saw Kurt. “Hummel,” she grunted happily. “Good to see you again, Pumpkin.” She noted his worried expression and nodded reassuringly. “Anderson is gonna be just fine, I promise. Just got the wind knocked out of him.”

Kurt’s legs turned to liquid and he had to grab onto the fence to keep himself up. He took a few deep breaths in and out to calm himself and keep his mind off of what would have happened if things had not been okay. He remembered Sean, Finn’s friend from football camp, and shuddered.

That could have been Blaine. That could have been  _ Blaine.  _ The boy who had his first kiss, his first “I love you,” (still had his heart, if he was being completely honest) could have been paralyzed or worse. Kurt had heard of freak sports accidents that resulted in comas or even—Jesus, he didn’t even want to go there because Kurt couldn’t imagine a world without Blaine Anderson. 

It hit him like a load of bricks.

Kurt couldn’t imagine  _ his _ world without Blaine in it.

He could act like he hated Blaine all he wanted, but the truth was crystal clear to him then; even after all this time, they were still tethered to one another. Blaine Anderson was someone Kurt Hummel could never stop loving, in one way or another.

“You wanna talk to him?”

“Yes… please,” he begged in a whisper.

She stepped aside to give them some privacy. 

Kurt rushed to Blaine’s side, getting down on his knees and not caring that the track was digging uncomfortably into them, or that the blacktop would most definitely stain his pants. 

The trainers had taken off Blaine’s helmet, so his hair was in its natural state, not cemented down with its usual layer of gel. He looked beautiful as ever and Kurt couldn’t fathom how anyone could ever hurt the semi-conscious boy in front of him, intentional or not. Despite being a self-proclaimed pacifist, he was immediately flooded with a strong urge to find whatever player on the opposing team had taken Blaine down and test out any strength he had left in his legs from his days as the Titan’s kicker. He wanted to find the coach who had put that player on the team and tear him to shreds, then find that player’s parents and ask why they didn’t use protection sixteen odd years ago like so many other  _ sensible _ couples—

Slowly, Blaine’s hazel eyes fluttered open. All of Kurt’s anger evaporated.

“Hey,” Kurt said gently, instinctively bringing a hand up to Blaine’s hair and smoothing it down comfortingly. 

Blaine shifted his body to face Kurt more fully, groaning and squeezing his eyes shut when he felt the all too fresh sting of the recent impact. Kurt took his free hand and wrapped it around Blaine’s, and Blaine felt his entire body relax at the gesture. “Miss holding your hand,” he mumbled absentmindedly, still a bit dazed from the blow.

Kurt swallowed. “You don’t have to anymore. I’m here… You okay? Do you know what happened?”

Blaine scoffed, thoughts slowly coming a bit more coherent. “I broke right when I should’ve gone left?” He rolled onto his side and slowly pulled himself up, groaning at the stretch in his soon to be sore muscles. 

“How’re your ribs?”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at Kurt, finally fully processing that he was here. He’d shown up. And he was  _ here _ , by his side and holding his hand and worried about him. He swallowed and squeezed Kurt’s hand. “I’m fine,” he assured him. “I’m okay.”

_ But if you hadn't been, _ Kurt thought. “Blaine, I…” he choked out. “Does that offer still stand? Of being friends?”

Blaine looked at him with the most gratitude filled, relieved eyes Kurt had ever seen. “Always,” he mumbled.

They sat there for a moment, Kurt stroking Blaine’s hand with his thumb. Blaine’s eyes widened a bit before he sprang to his feet. 

“What time is it?”

Kurt shook his head, taken aback. “I uh, don’t know. Maybe eight?”

“I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?” Kurt asked.

“Can’t have a halftime show without cheerleaders.” He hesitated for a moment, eyes grazing up and down Kurt longingly before suddenly pulling the other boy in and wrapping his arms around his back. “Thanks…” he murmured into Kurt’s ear.

Kurt swallowed, paused, and finally threw his arms around Blaine’s waist to reciprocate the hug. He buried his face into Blaine’s shoulder pads. He missed this so much. Not just being Blaine’s boyfriend, but the connection they had that Kurt knew he could never replicate with anybody else. 

Eventually, they reluctantly pulled away from each other. 

_ Say you still love me _ , Kurt thought as he stared back into Blaine’s eyes.  _ Say it and I’m yours... _

With one sentence, Kurt would forgive and forget everything, as long as it meant he and Blaine could be together again. Just a few words, and everything could go back to being simple and good and okay again. 

Blaine wet his lips and looked Kurt up and down, lightly pressing his fingertips into his arm like he was afraid of letting go—like Kurt hoped he was.

_ Please, just say it. _

All he got was “I’ll see you at the halftime show,” and the back of his ex’s jersey.

* * *

“I'm gonna die…” Brittany mumbled, staring up at the giant cannon Sue bought. Santana and Quinn stood next to her, patting her back reassuringly.

“...It'll be worth it,” Santana said, voice colored with uncertainty.

“Hey!” a disembodied voice yelled. The three of them spun around to see Blaine trotting towards them.

“What are you doing here?” Quinn asked, sadness laced in her green eyes.

“Stopping you from going to Sue's regionals competition. You guys gotta come to the game with me.”

“Haven't you been paying attention? If we're not Cheerios, we're nothing,” Quinn said.

“You think that, but it's not true. ” He looked up at Quinn, who failed to meet his gaze. “You were right when you said we were similar, Q. You joined Cheerios to be popular but you joined Glee Club because you loved it. Sue doesn't care about you guys, not the way we do. She's fine killing Brittany. Tell me honestly. If you didn't think it would hurt your reputation, which would you choose?”

Brittany and Santana exchanged glances before dipping their heads and muttering, “Glee Club.”

Quinn stayed silent.

Blaine walked up to her and put his hand in hers. “I know you.”

“Blaine—”

“You are  _ Quinn freaking Fabray _ ,” he emphasized. “Former president of the celibacy club, teen mom, glee club Alto, best friend of Blaine Anderson, and toughest, baddest bitch I know, aside from my mother.”

She finally offered him a smile.

“And I know you don't think you are, but you're strong enough to do this.”

After a moment of contemplation, she finally nodded. “Okay.”

Blaine bounced on his cleats with joy and pulled her in for a hug. 

“But there’s… something I want to tell you, when this is all over.”

“Of course,” he said, releasing her and tugging on her hand. “Come on, now. We've only got a few minutes.”

“No time for a foursome, ladies. Bus leaves in five.” Blaine froze at the sound of Sue’s voice and wrinkled his nose at her implication.

Quinn just whirled around. “We quit Cheerios,” she said nonchalantly.

“You can't quit Cheerios. It's blood in, blood out. Now get your sweet little cans on that bus!”

“But we still quit,” Santana said.

“You're my stars. If you leave I have no performance!”

“Sucks for you,” Brittany said before following Blaine, Quinn, and Santana back to the football field.

* * *

“Where are they?” Kurt asked nervously from the sideline of the field. 

“They’ll be here,” Coach Beiste reassured him.

As if on cue, Kurt spotted four figures running towards the field. He recognized them at Quinn, Santana, Brittany, and—

“Blaine!” he exclaimed, breaking out into a full fledged sprint. He crashed into Blaine like a wave onto a shore, wrapping his arms behind his back and squeezing tight as possible. After taking a few deep breaths, Kurt reluctantly receded from Blaine’s embrace. “You got here just in time.”

They were interrupted by the sound of shouting and whooping coming from behind them as Puck led the Titans—apparently having changed their minds—all dressed up in their zombie makeup, onto the field.

Kurt’s heart glowed when he saw the beaming grin on Blaine’s face. “Looks like I’m not the only one.” He looked back at Kurt. “Hey before I get out there, I just wanted to say…”

_ I still love you.  _ Kurt imagined Blaine saying. _ I miss you. I should have never let you go.  _

“Thanks for coming.”

_ Anything for you, _ Kurt thought. But what he said instead was, “No problem,” before watching Blaine run off to join the halftime show.

The New Directions and the Titans absolutely killed the halftime show. 

After the halftime show, the Titans proceeded to absolutely wreck the opposing team, now that they had the full force of their team, still all decked in zombie attire.

While the entire crowd in the bleachers started chanting  _ Brains! Brains! Brains!  _ all Kurt could think about was how glad he was he’d shown up.

* * *

Blaine took a steadying breath.

After talking it through with the rest of the New Directions, Blaine was about to offer Karofsky a permanent spot on the New Directions. If he was in the glee club with them, he wasn’t a threat to Kurt, and that might mean Kurt would get to come back. Just the thought sent electricity buzzing all the way to the ends of his fingertips.

He walked up to Karofsky. “Hey. We kicked ass on Saturday.”   
Karofsky actually  _ laughed _ . Wild. “We did, didn’t we?”

“Yeah… So, uh, the New Directions won't let you join permanently until you make things right with Kurt.”

“Permanently?” Karofsky scoffed. “You want me to join your show choir? I might as well dye my hair rainbow colors and have a neon sign over my head that says  _ queer _ .”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s just singing, Dave. It doesn’t mean you have to come out anytime soon, but you’ll be doing something you seem to really enjoy. Maybe it’ll act as a creative outlet for your anger.”

“You don’t get it,” he huffed. “Don't you remember what those puckheads said in the bathroom?  _ Holy shit, they turned Karofsky gay. _ They’re already onto me. I can’t give them any other reason to smell weakness on me. We don’t all have a squad of open minded friends and perfect parents to support us!” 

Blaine hissed and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before shaking his head at Karofsky’s ignorance. “Trust me, I know,” he snapped back. He drew in a breath, trying to calm himself down, squeezing and relaxing his clenching fists. “I just think it would be a step in the right direction.”

“It’s not a step I can take right now,” Karofsky admitted. “I have an image to keep up, Anderson—one that’ll get me through the rest of high school in one piece…” 

As his teammate walked away, Blaine felt his shoulders slump down. He had hoped this whole football meets glee club ordeal would have set things up for a more open minded McKinley, but it seemed things were exactly the same. 

However, even that grim realization couldn’t keep the smile off his face when his phone rang and the screen lit up to show Kurt’s contact photo—a selfie he and Blaine had taken the day they found out the New Directions weren’t being disbanded after all.

He pulled the phone up to his ear. “Hey, stranger.”

_ “Hey!” _

“What’s up?”

_ “So… about this whole being friends again thing,”  _ Kurt started, hoping he wasn’t actually as transparent as he felt.  _ “Should we maybe catch up or something? Considering we haven’t really… Uh, spoken since…” _ He swallowed hard and decided to not take the conversation in that route. _ “I miss you.” _

Blaine felt his heart clench. “I miss you, too.” He admitted, grateful that Kurt couldn’t see his face from the other side of the line. “Yeah… uh, we still have those Breadstix coupon from the duet competition if you want to use them…”

_ “Sure.” _

“Next week? How does Wednesday sound?”

Kurt let out a sigh of relief. _ “Wednesday sounds perfect.” _


	11. Silly Love Songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY BACK FROM THE DEAD AND CUTE AND COMPACT AS EVER ITS SILLY LOVE SONGS!
> 
> Huge thanks to my Beta, [Adri,](somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com) without whom this story would not have seen the light of day
> 
> I am almost done with this story, and just as a heads up, if i finish it soon enough and get all the refined touches done, I would really like to break schedule and finish posting before this month is over, but I haven't entirely decided yet. Just thought I'd let y'all know in case you come one friday and there's more chapters than expected lol

**_So here’s what you missed on Glee:_ **

**_Sue tried to shoot Brittany out of a cannon, so Brittany, Santana and Quinn quit the Cheerios._ **

_“Sucks for you.”_

**_Now we get to see what they look like in street clothes._ **

**_Kurt transferred to Dalton because Karofsky was threatening him._ **

_“I’m gonna kill you.”_

**_Sebastian—leader of the Warblers—is really into him, but Kurt isn’t too sure about him yet._ **

_“I just got out of a relationship.”_

**_He and Blaine just got to being friends again, which should be interesting because they’ve never been really good at the whole being just friends thing._ **

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

Mr. Shue began his lesson by writing out the word _Love_ on the whiteboard and turning to his students. “Alright, guys. I have one word for you.”

Brittany immediately shot her hand into the air and Mr. Shue gave her a quick nod.

“Is it _love?_ ” Mr. Shue furrowed his eyebrows and nodded and Brittany threw her fist up in the air with a beaming smile. ”I'm totally gonna graduate now!”

“Anyways… Valentine's Day is coming up, so for this week's lesson I want you guys to partner up and find a song that communicates all the things that love means to you. Then perform your song for your partner.”

Blaine immediately thought back to what Kurt said about Mr. Shue’s lesson plans being boring and repetitive. He couldn’t help but get a twinge of deja vu from last year’s Ballad assignment. 

“So pair up!”

When all the obvious pairs were taken, only Santana, Puck, Mercedes, and Blaine remained.

“Well, I’m not singing to a dude because that’s not how I was made,” Puck said. “So which one of you lovely ladies wants to take a ride on the old—”

“Dibs on Blaine,” Mercedes called out, already moving to take a seat next to him.

“Hija de tu pinche madre,” Santana muttered under her breath before begrudgingly sitting next to Puck.

“Alright, now that we’re all partnered up, let’s run through some contenders for Regionals. The theme is Anthem, and I think some of these Journey songs would work really well!”

As they discussed suggestions, Blaine noticed Sam shooting Finn dirty looks every time the opportunity arose. He had suggested they do _Sing_ by My Chemical Romance for Regionals and the only one who voted against it was the blond.

When the bell rang, Blaine started to walk with Quinn to their next class.

“Any idea why Sam was staring at Finn like that through all of rehearsal?” He asked.

Quinn bit her lip nervously. “Because… because I kissed him. After the game, I kissed Finn.”

 _“What?”_ Blaine’s jaw dropped. “Why? Are you still in love with him?” 

“Ugh, no.” She scoffed. “I realize that now…”

Mike and Tina and a handful of other glee clubbers walked past her. She glanced warily at them and waited until they passed to continue.

“Blaine… when did you know you were gay?”

“What, why?”

She shook her head. “Never mind. Not here, at least…we can talk about it later. Maybe a sleepover, your place?”

Just as Blaine nodded, he caught a glimpse of Sam walking towards them. Quinn sighed.

“Are you two okay?” Blaine asked. 

“He didn’t dump me—which, he had every right to—but I am on girlfriend probation. No pet names or dates for a week.”

“On the week of Valentine’s Day? That’s rough.”

“You’re telling me.”

Sam finally trotted up to Blaine. “Hey, dude.”

“Sam, sweetie...” Quinn carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Fellow associate.” He nodded to her in a formal manner. She gave Blaine a look as if to say, _See?_ “Would you mind giving Mr. Anderson and I here a moment alone to discuss glee club affairs?”

Quinn blinked at him while Blaine looked at him with confusion. “Alright.” She relented before walking away.

“Okay,” Sam started. “I love Quinn, but she told me something pretty upsetting—“

“Kissing Finn?”

“Yeah… so I need your help with this love song assignment.”

* * *

For Kurt, the week of Valentine’s day was… just another week. Which meant it was just another Tuesday. Which meant when his Advanced French class was over, he was off to the senior commons to finish the worksheet on verb conjugation that had been assigned as homework.

He was halfway to his destination when he heard the familiar theme of Beethoven’s 5th Symphony being vocalized.

 **_Vum vum vum vum_ ** **_  
_** **_Vum vum vum vum_ **

Kurt looked around in confusion as the familiar figures of a few of his fellow show choir members began to appear around him.

 **_Oooohh_ ** **_  
_** **_Yeah…_ **

Wait, was that Sebastian’s voice?

Kurt’s suspicions were confirmed when Sebastian stepped out from behind the group of Warblers and started strutting in tempo towards something… or someone?

He looked behind himself and saw nobody there. Who the hell was Sebastian singing to? Sebastian had told him that the Warblers liked to put on random mid-day performances, but they hadn't mentioned anything about this at the last meeti—

Oh… _Oh._

Kurt went from pale to pink in a fraction of a second. He whirled around, burst through the doors to the senior commons, and took a seat. If he didn’t look at them, it wasn’t happening, right? He pulled out his homework and put it on the table. If he just focused hard enough on the french, he could totally block this out.

 **_Baby girl, where you at?_ ** **_  
_** **_Got no strings, got men attached_ ** **_  
_** **_Can't stop that feelin' for long no_ ** **_  
_** **_Mmmm_ ** **_  
_** **_You makin' dogs wanna beg_ ** **_  
_** **_Breaking them off your fancy legs_ ** **_  
_** **_But they make you feel right at home, now_ **

The Warblers followed him, circling around his table until Sebastian was front and center, singing right _at_ him. Sebastian reached across the table and slipped the worksheet out from Kurt’s hands, tossing it behind him carelessly. Kurt glared up at him and threw a hand out as if to say _What the hell are you doing?_

He brushed past the head Warbler and bent down to pick up the worksheet that he _really_ needed to finish, only to have a different Warbler—Thad—snatch it out of his hand this time. Thad started passing the paper around and Kurt tried to follow its path to get it back. However, he was blocked when Sebastian came up to him again.

 **_Baby girl you da sh…_ ** **_  
_** **_That makes you my equivalent_ ** **_  
_** **_Well you can keep your toys in the drawer tonight_ ** **_  
_** **_All right_ ** **_  
_** **_All my dawgs talkin' fast_ ** **_  
_** **_Ain't you got some photographs?_ ** **_  
_** **_'Cause you shook that room like a star, now_ ** **_  
_** **_Yes you did, oh_ **

Kurt forgot all about the paper in his chagrin. He pressed his hands up to the side of his face and started walking away, anywhere but in front of this huge crowd, all whooping and cheering while Sebastian was singing _those_ words to him. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, this isn’t happening,” he said to himself, turning from the group of Warblers.

He started for the other end of the commons that had a door that led to the library, but stopped when he caught a glimpse of Nick, who wasn’t singing at all. He had stepped aside into a corner, his head turned down to his phone, frowning and standing still behind the choreography. Jeff, on the other hand, was still dancing, but noticed Nick as well. The blond furrowed his eyebrows, but kept singing.

 **_All these intrusions just take us too long_ ** **_  
_** **_And I want you so bad_ ** **_  
_** **_Because you walk city_ ** **_  
_** **_Because you talk city_ ** **_  
_** **_'Cause you make me sick_ ** **_  
_** **_And I'm not leavin', till you're leavin’_ **

**_So I pray to something she ain't bluffin'_ ** **_  
_** **_Rubbin' up on me_ ** **_  
_** **_Well does she want me to make a vow?_ ** **_  
_** **_Check it_ ** **_  
_** **_Well does she want me to make it now?_ ** **_  
_** **_On my house, on my job_ ** **_  
_** **_On my loot, shoes, my voice_ ** **_  
_** **_My crew, my mind, my father's last name?_ **

While Kurt continued maneuvering about the crowd of dancing Warblers, Sebastian leapt up onto a couch and dramatically threw his hands out. 

As much as Kurt was still embarrassed at the debacle, even he couldn’t help but cough out a laugh at the outrageous choreography. He was always a sucker for the dramatic.

Sebastian hopped off the couch and walked in time to the music towards Kurt, adding dramatic hand motions when the opportunity arose. Kurt stepped backwards until he felt his back meet a wall.

He caught a glimpse of his precious homework being passed down a row, Warbler to Warbler, making its way back to Sebastian because of course he had to drag Kurt’s _grades_ into this spectacle.

 **_When I get you alone_ ** **_  
_** **_When I get you you'll know baby_ ** **_  
_** **_When I get you alone_ ** **_  
_** **_When I get you alone now_ **

**_When I get you alone!_ **

On the last down beat, Sebastian spun around and landed with one hand against the wall next to Kurt’s head, and the other hand holding up the french worksheet proudly, a rather pleased and cocky smile on his face.

The Warblers and onlookers applauded.

Kurt’s face was still regrettably warm. He cleared his throat and gently plucked the worksheet from Sebastian’s grip. “I’ll just, um… take that,” he mumbled, slipping it into his bookbag.

Sebastian stood upright and shrugged, an oblivious smirk still plastered on his face. “So, what did you think? Will you be my date for Valentine’s Day?”

Kurt tried for a smile, but it came off more like a grimace. “Look, Sebastian. I like you. You’re admittedly attractive, a pretty good leader—though your ethics can be a bit questionable—and you’re kind, underneath that persona you put up. But I…” _I’m still in love with Blaine._ Kurt trailed off and sighed. Like hell he was going to tell anyone that. “I like romance,” he decided on. “And if you knew the first thing about me, you’d know that serenading me with a song about sex toys isn’t exactly the way to my heart. Besides that… I still think I need a little more time to recover from my last relationship.” _Or to wait around until Blaine changes his mind._

Kurt gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder and a wry smile before turning around towards the library. Maybe he’d be safe from impromptu serenades there. He caught yet another glimpse of Nick frowning down at his phone and Jeff looking at his boyfriend with equal parts worry and disapproval.

He thought about asking them what was going on before deciding against it. He didn’t want to overstep and besides, those verbs weren’t going to conjugate themselves.

* * *

**New Message:** **  
****From: Nick** **  
**_Yo… so idk exactly what “keep an eye on Kurt” means, but in case you’re wondering, I’m not the only one doing so._

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at his phone.

Rachel continued with her [ performance ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktgbMA5Cxqk)while Quinn buried her head in her hands, simultaneously embarrassed and annoyed at the spectacle she’d created.

 **_Sometimes a man start lookin' at things that he don't need_ ** **_  
_** **_He took a second to look at you but he's in love with me_ ** **_  
_** **_Well I don't know where that leaves you oh but I know where I stand_ ** **_  
_** **_And you ain't woman enough to take my man_ **

**_Women like you they're a dime a dozen you can buy 'em anywhere_ ** **_  
_** **_For you to get to him I'd have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here_ ** **_  
_** **_It'll be over my dead body so get out while you can_ ** **_  
_** **_Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man_ ** **_  
_** **_No you ain't woman enough to take my man_ **

He typed out a response while Rachel was busy getting up in Quinn’s face. If the self-proclaimed dictator of the New Directions saw him texting during one of her numerous performances… Well, Blaine knew there would only be more outrage.

 **New Message:** **  
****To: Nick** **  
****What do you mean?**

 _Check this out_ _  
_ _Attachment: 1 video_

As Rachel finished up and reclaimed her rightful seat next to Finn, tossing one last glare at Quinn, Blaine opened the video, putting the volume just loud enough so that only he could hear it.

He watched in horror as Sebastian sang and danced around Kurt, stomach dropping as he realized his ex was blushing and _—Is he laughing?_

He’d seen them together at the Sectionals competition, and they appeared to be friends (even if Sebastian did come off a bit too handsy for his taste). But was it more than that now? 

Before he could finish the video, Sam stepped off the risers to the front of the room. 

“I don’t think we can do justice to an assignment about the world’s greatest love songs without including the creators of Abbey Road. So with the help of my fellow Beatles—” He did what was an attempt at a British accent that definitely came off more Australian. “Ringo, Paul, and George—”

Blaine took his cue to leave Quinn’s side and head up to the front of the classroom, giving her an apologetic shrug at her appalled look. Artie and Mike quickly joined as well.

“This song is for my girlfriend Quinn.” Sam paused and threw a quick glare at a very confused Finn, who was clutching Rachel’s hand and whispering frantically at her. “Who I love very much, and nobody is taking her away from _This Boy.”_

With three strums of his guitar, Sam brought in all four boys to start [ singing ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhuU8KDLdO4)in harmony.

 **_That boy took my love away_ ** **_  
_** **_Though he'll regret it someday_ ** **_  
_** **_But this boy wants you back again_ **

**_That boy isn't good for you_ ** **_  
_** **_Though he may want you too_ ** **_  
_** **_This boy wants you back again_ **

**_Oh, and this boy would be happy_ ** **_  
_** **_Just to love you, but oh my_ ** **_  
_** **_That boy won't be happy_ ** **_  
_** **_Till he's seen you cry_ **

**_This boy wouldn't mind the pain_ ** **_  
_** **_Would always feel the same_ ** **_  
_** **_If this boy gets you back again_ **

**_This boy_ ** **_  
_** **_This boy_ ** **_  
_** **_This boy_ **

Quinn had tears in her eyes by the time the song was over. She ran up to Sam and enveloped him in a big hug before planting her lips on his.

Blaine felt his pocket buzz again, and frantically pulled out his phone. 

**New Message:** **  
****From: Nick**

_We can hang out tomorrow and discuss, if you want._

**Sure, thanks**

* * *

“I was _humiliated_ ,” Kurt said through a mouthful of pizza.

Mercedes looked up from brushing Rachel’s hair thoughtfully. “Is humiliated the right word, though?” she pondered. “Sebastian’s the cute tall one, right? Richie McMoneybags, looks like he comes from wealth and knows it? If a hot guy serenaded me, I think humiliated is the last thing I’d be feeling.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Fine, not humiliated, but I was… embarrassed, at least. Exposed, put on the spot. Normally I’d love the attention, but anyone who knows me knows that I can _not_ stand Robin Thicke!” 

Kurt supposed that was just it; Sebastian _didn’t_ know him very well. Before he and Blaine had dated, they’d been at least friends. Yeah, Kurt had a ginormous crush on Blaine pretty much from the moment they met, but they had bonded and gotten to know each other. It set up a strong foundation for their relationship.

 _Not strong enough, apparently,_ Kurt thought bitterly before he could stop himself. He internally winced, That wasn’t fair, and he knew it. He and Blaine were friends now… he had to get over this residual anger he had if he wanted them to stay that way.

“He sounds adventurous if you ask me,” Mercedes finally responded.

“Almost as adventurous as Quinn’s been this week,” Rachel started. “With her trying to steal back Finn and whatnot.” 

Mercedes cut her off with an annoyed hand wave. “Don’t try it, demon. We’re here for _Kurt_ , remember? He’s got some decisions to make.”

He looked up at his friends from Rachel’s bed with concern. “I do?”

“Yeah, like _when_ are you going on a date with Sebastian.”

“A date?”

“Is that what you even want, Kurt?” Rachel asked. “I mean, if Finn and I broke up, I’d need _months_ before I was ready to even think about other people.”

He groaned and threw his head back. “I don’t even know what I want! I want my boyfriend to love me again. I want to be back at McKinley because I miss you guys so freaking much. I miss Blaine…” he admitted.

“We miss you, too,” Rachel started. “But it’s your _life_ , Kurt. You weren’t safe there.”

“Yeah, and don’t even _think_ of coming back here, putting yourself in danger over a guy—and I say this with all the love for him in my heart—who is a complete dumbass for letting you go.”

Kurt stiffened. He wondered what they’d think if they knew he’d initially only really transferred because Blaine broke up with him. God, he was really going to stay at that school, endure a year and a half more of tortue, for Blaine. Maybe the breakup had been a sort of blessing in disguise. Kurt still missed Blaine like hell, but they were friends again, at least, and for the first time in two and a half years, Kurt’s shoulders weren’t constantly aching from contact with metal.

On top of that, he was grateful for being able to walk through hallways without flinching every time a locker shut. 

Although, he couldn’t help but have some degree of sympathy for Karofsky. Kurt knew he was lucky to have people like Mercedes and Blaine and especially his dad in his life. Their acceptance made the world of difference when he started coming out. 

He thought about the people Karofsky considered friends. Would Azimio be so chummy with the lineman he claimed was his best friend if he found out he was gay? It wasn’t likely.

In spite of all that, it certainly didn’t negate any fear Kurt had. 

Kurt knew the risks of coming out, and he knew Karofsky did, too. Understanding Karofsly’s desperation only heightened Kurt’s awareness of how dangerous this situation was.

In the end, transferring to Dalton had been the right choice, at least for now. 

He hugged his knees to his chest. “I also want to be over Blaine,” he finally admitted. “I want to stop loving him when I know he doesn’t even give me a second thought.”

Rachel put a gentle hand on his back and Mercedes took his hand. “Well…” she started. “In the wise words of our very own Ms. Lopez—”

“We talking Jennifer or Santana?” Kurt asked with a smirk, uncurling himself and spreading his legs out again. Mercedes batted an arm at him playfully.

“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” 

“’Cedes!” 

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying, you know, do exactly _that_ . All I’m saying is moving on won’t get any easier until you make an effort. And I’m glad you and Blaine are friends again and all, but I think you need to accept that he wants to be _just_ friends.”

“But if they’re meant to be, shouldn’t Kurt hold out for that?” Rachel asked, reaching for a handful of popcorn. “I mean, I know Finn is _my_ soulmate. I’d wait a thousand lifetimes for him to come to his senses if I had to.”

Mercedes shrugged. “Listen, you both know I love Blaine to the ends of this earth and back. But the only destiny we have is the one we make for ourselves. Well, that and eventual stardom… This Sebastian guy likes you, Kurt. And he’s made it very clear. I just don’t want you missing out on opportunities because you’re waiting for someone who isn’t waiting back.” She leaned back and put her head in his lap, smiling up at him. “Besides, I have to live vicariously through _somebody_ and straight pasty white-boys are _not_ my type.”

“Hey!” Rachel threw a satin covered pillow at them and giggled before adding herself to the pile. 

Kurt wrapped his arms around them and squeezed. ‘It’s so nice to be around girls for a change.”

* * *

Quinn held up two DVDs, one in either hand. “ _Sixteen Candles_ or _The Princess Bride_?”

“Sixteen Candles, definitely,” Blaine said, pointing to the cover before throwing a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “I need something light and funny in case Nick comes to us with news that the love of my life and Sebastian are going to Vancouver to elope immediately.”

She stared at him. “God I forget what a drama queen you are sometimes,” she mumbled, popping in the disc and hopping on his bed. “I have a good feeling about you and Kurt. Things just always seem to work out for you guys.”

Just as they got settled, there was a knock on Blaine’s door. It creaked open and Blaine’s mom popped her head in. “Blaine, sweetie, Connor’s here.” 

She opened the door wider and Nick stepped in with his overnight bag. “Thank you, Mrs. Anderson.”

“Is Kurt spending the night as well?” she asked. 

Blaine didn’t even have to look over to know Quinn’s eyes had about doubled in radius. “Um, no.” He said, “I think he said something about having a bunch of homework.”

Mary frowned. “That private school work sure does keep him busy, doesn’t it? Imagine if you’d ended up transferring there after all!”

Now it was Nick’s turn to give Blaine a bewildered look. He held up a hand and mouthed, _Long story._

“Well, you tell him to come over for dinner whenever he gets a chance. I haven’t seen him since he transferred, and I miss my future son-in-law.”

“Mom!” Blaine turned beet red.

“You three have fun tonight.”

As soon as the door was shut behind her, Nick turned his head to Blaine. “What the hell was that?”

“Did you not tell your mom you broke up with Kurt?” Quinn asked in disbelief.

Blaine shrugged. “She… didn’t need to know. And it just… never came up. We don’t have to talk about it.” He raised his eyebrows, suddenly remembering something. “Speaking of changing the subject—”

Quinn rolled her eyes.

“What was it you wanted to tell me the day of the championship game, Q?”

She stiffened. “It’s um… kind of personal.”

“Do you want me to go?” Nick asked, picking up on some of Quinn’s nerves. “I can just head to the bathroom, take a quick shower.”

She thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. “No… we’re here for Blaine. Besides, in a way, it’s easier, because you don’t know me. You don’t have this already constructed idea of me so it’s not like I’m changing anything about myself to you, it’s just like, who I am, if that makes sense.”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “Q, what ar—”

“I think I kissed Finn because I have a crush on Rachel,” she spilled quickly, loud enough for both he and Nick to hear, before hugging her knees to her chest and ducking her head in. 

Blaine stared at her blankly. “Oh…”

“Well,” Nick jumped in after a few moments of silence. “That’s certainly quite on brand for gay yearning. Rachel’s the uh, how do I put this delicately…”

“Loud,” Blaine supplied for him.

Nick nodded. “Loud. She’s the loud one, right?”

Blaine nodded to him before turning his attention back on Quinn. “Do you think you’re gay?” 

She shook her head. “No, I definitely love Sam, I just… think I might be into girls, too. I just wanted to… say it, out loud, at least once. I don’t want to make a big deal about it or anything, and I don’t plan on telling anyone aside from you two, but I just…” She looked up to her best friend with remorseful eyes. “I wanted you to know why I almost chose the Cheerios over glee club. I remember what you and Kurt went through last year and… I kind of panicked.”

Blaine pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry for being a condescending dick about that whole thing, I didn’t realize…”

“It’s okay.” 

He squared her shoulders. “You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, and I would never pressure you to. Whatever you want, I’ve got your back.”

“Thanks,” she smiled back at him. “Speaking of,” she tossed her head towards Nick. “Before you spill all the hot goss, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Quinn Fabray.”

“Ohhhhh, so that’s what the Q in LGBTQ stands for.” She playfully narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m Nick. Blaine’s friend from middle school.”

She shot Blaine a questioning look, to which he simply nodded to confirm that yes, Nick was the friend from the Sadie Hawkins dance. She probably had already pieced it together from his mom calling him by his first name, perceptive as she was. “Well, it’s always a pleasure to meet someone who has insider knowledge on the drama.” She patted the bed. “Come, join us.”

“Yeah,” Blaine muttered grimly. “I’m just dying to know how my ex is getting it on with the head Warbler.”

“Well,” Nick started, flopping down into the bed. “It seems I should have kept recording. That way you could have seen Kurt straight up reject Sebastian.”

“What, really?” Blaine said, hope fluttering in his chest.

Nick nodded. “I think he mentioned something about needing more time to get over his last relationship.”

“That’s good news, right, Blaine?” Quinn asked.

He shifted on his bed. “I… guess. I don’t know. I mean, I obviously miss him. But isn’t it kind of selfish for me to want him to miss me?”

“I think it just makes you human,” Quinn replied.

“So…” Nick started. “What’s the story with you and Kurt?” he asked. “Because if you want, I can tell him that you’re still hung up on him. He seems pretty hung up on you, too. I bet he would even go back to McKinley in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah, that’s part of the problem,” Blaine said before he could stop himself.

“What do you mean?” Nick asked.

He paused for a moment, thinking carefully about his next words. If anyone understood why Blaine did what he did, it was certainly Nick. 

“How well can you keep a secret?” Blaine asked, earning a mildly surprised look from Quinn.

“Well, I’ve been telling people my name is Nick for nearly three years, so there’s that.”

“I’m serious,” Blaine said a bit sternly. “You can not tell a single soul about this. Not even Jeff.”

“Oh, no,” Nick replied, looking mockingly serious. _“Especially_ not Jeff. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut to save his life.” He crossed his fingers and made an X over his chest. “I won’t tell anyone. You have my word.”

Blaine sucked in a deep breath before letting it all spill out. “That Karofsky guy, Kurt might’ve mentioned him, threatened to kill him.” He watched as every muscle in Nick’s face and neck stiffened. “I knew Dalton had a zero-tolerance bullying policy and tried to convince him to transfer. But he wouldn’t because of the New Directions and… me. So I broke up with him knowing it would push him away hard enough for him to transfer.”

Nick sat silently for a moment, seemingly processing it all. After a while he finally replied. “Honestly, man… you did what you had to do,” he said understandingly. “And I’m sorry that even happened. I know what it’s like to feel desperate for _some_ sense of control. To feel like you need to do something…”

“Thanks…” Blaine finally seemed to notice Quinn watching them with some combination of sympathy and existential sadness. “You okay, Q?”

Her mouth contorted into a shape, off to one side of her face. “Dunno yet,” she answered earnestly. “Let’s get that movie started, shall we?”

* * *

Kurt was leaving for his lunch period when he got a message from Sebastian, of all people.

 **New Message:** **  
****From: Sebastian:** **  
****Lunch in the Senior Commons?**

 **New Message:** **  
****To: Sebastian:** **  
**_Only if you promise not to sing Robin Thicke to me_

**Well you’ll just have to come and see for yourself ;)**

When Kurt finally found his way to the senior commons room, his jaw fell open at the sight.

Back in December, the fireplace had garland pinned around it, but now there was a cheesy Valentine’s Day streamer. The furniture had been rearranged so that one of the study tables was near enough to the fireplace to feel its cozy heat. Sebastian stood in front of the table, a white tablecloth and a long stemmed candle on either side, the lights dimmed. In the middle of the table was a picnic basket.

“How’s this for romance?” Sebastian asked in his typical smug way. Then added, “No, seriously. I don’t know the first thing about romance and I started to watch one of those awful rom coms people seem to love so much and I couldn’t get through the first ten minutes, so I just took a guess.”

Kurt stared in awe at the setup, stepping closer while Sebastian rocked on his toes a little.

“By the way… Your name is Kurt Hummel, you’re a Taurus, transferred from McKinley, can be found reading Vogue in moments of leisure.”

Kurt hummed a small laugh. “Yep, you’ve got me all figured out, Smythe.”

“Actually, I don’t,” he admitted. “Which is why I set this up. No expectations, nothing. Just two guys getting to know each other.”

“Why are you doing all this?” Kurt asked.

“To stay in the spirit of the holiday?”

Kurt cocked an eyebrow and Sebastian rolled his eyes a little. “I’m not used to… _trying_ to get guys’ attention, Kurt. I’m not used to this, getting to know people before dating them.”

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. “And you like a challenge?”

“I like _you_. And I think you’re someone worth trying for.” He stepped forward and took Kurt’s hand in his. “I know you said you needed more time. I’m just letting you know what’s waiting for you when you’re ready.”

Kurt stood still for a moment, staring down at the other boy’s hands. This didn’t have to be the end all be all of relationships, it didn’t have to be anything Kurt didn’t want it to be. But he couldn’t help but feel like if he said yes he’d be shutting off any possibility of getting back together with Blaine. 

Was he really ready to close that door forever?

Sebastian must’ve picked up on some of his hesitance.

“It’s just lunch, Kurt. It’s not a date, no expectations, nothing… You said I didn’t know the first thing about you, and you were right. I want to get to know you.”

Kurt nodded as Mercedes’s voice from the other night rang in his ears. _Stop waiting for someone who isn’t waiting back._

With a pang of sadness, Kurt realized that the door wasn’t his to shut. Blaine had made that decision months ago, and there was simply nothing he could do about it.

It was time to move on.

He took a deep breath. “Okay.”

* * *

Despite the way it made him feel like an utterly pathetic fool, Kurt showed up to Breadstix for his… meeting with Blaine ten minutes early. _It’s not a date,_ Kurt reminded himself. _Blaine doesn’t love you like that anymore. Don’t let yourself make things up in your head._

Much to his surprise, his ex was already seated at a table by the time he walked in, waving him down with a huge grin on his face. Kurt did his best to not let the shock on his face seem too hopeful, even though it really was. He calmed himself and headed over to the table.

“Did you have extra time to kill, or what?” Kurt asked, peeling off his scarf and draping it around his chair. _Please tell me you just wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see you._

Blaine chuckled. “Honestly, yeah. I regret to inform you that the New Directions are back on their bullshit.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Our New Directions? The ones with Finn and Rachel as our leaders? Pray, do tell, that’s so unexpected,” he said, his voice drenched in sarcasm.

Blaine felt his heart melting at Kurt still calling the New Directions _ours_ . Maybe one day, that could be completely true once more. It pained Blaine to be reminded of Kurt’s absence every day, but at least he was still _safe_.

When he finally returned to reality he realized that Kurt was staring at him expectantly, waiting for a reply.

“Oh, sorry…” He shook his head, partially to show his disdain at the glee club’s usual antics, and partially to bring himself back to reality before thoughts of having Kurt back at McKinley overtook him. “Basically it’s your standard Finchel relationship drama. Quinn kissed Finn, so Sam is pissed at _him_ for some reason, Rachel is pissed at Quinn, Santana’s being extra nasty towards everyone probably because she’s alone on Valentine’s day, and Quinn… well, she realized that she’s not into Finn at all.”

Kurt let out a laugh and Blaine’s heart came back to life, fluttering at hearing it for the first time in what felt like ages. 

“What about you?” Blaine continued a bit cautiously. “I know you’re chummy with Nick but uh, have you made any other… friends?”

“Uh… Jeff?”

“Oh,” Blaine said, raising his eyebrows slightly. “He seems nice. That’s Nick’s boyfriend, right? I haven’t officially met him—”

“No,” Kurt amended, pointing behind Blaine where the blond was heading towards their table. “Jeff. What’s he—”

Kurt was immediately cut off by Jeff’s frantic voice. “A dinner date with Kurt?” he accused. “After you spent most of the week courting my boyfriend? Really, Blake?”

Blaine looked desperately to Kurt for some sort of explanation, then back to Jeff when he didn’t get one. “What is happening here?”

Jeff narrowed his eyes at Blaine. “Wow, you play the oblivious act really well, don’t you?”

Kurt’s jaw hung open on its hinges. “Uhhhhh, I should go—” he began to move up from his chair but Jeff held his index finger out to him, still glaring at Blaine.

“No, I need a witness for this.”

Kurt sat back down, stiff as a board and wide eyes fixed on the table like if he stayed still enough, he could astral project himself out of this uncomfortable situation. 

“Blair, Blake, Bobby— _whatever_ your name is, let me make myself perfectly clear. Stay away from Nick.” Kurt and Blaine exchanged confused glances. “We are in a happily committed relationship and I don’t need his middle school crush-slash-dance-date coming back and trying to steal him like a rug from underneath my feet.”

Blaine shook his head like he was trying to shake a stubborn fly from it. “Hold up, you think I’m trying to _steal_ Nick from you?”

Kurt showed Jeff the insides of his palms in surrender. “Look, Jeff, I’ve known Blaine for much longer than you have, and I can say with the utmost certainty that he’s not—” Kurt nearly said _not a heartbreaker_ before realizing that Blaine kind of was… just not in the context that Jeff thought. “He’s not a womanizer,” he finally said before furrowing his eyebrows. “Wait, that’s not the right word… Guyanizer? Floozy? Hussie?”

“Oh, you’re having way too much fun with this,” Blaine muttered, rubbing his temples.

Jeff scoffed. “If he’s not trying to woo Nick, then why have you two regularly been going out for coffee? First right before Christmas and then last week, you met him to talk about football?” he asked incredulously. “What gay guy meets another to talk about _football?”_

“That was so not what that was about!” Blaine defended. “We had a championship game coming up and our cheerleading coach was trying to shoot one of the New Directions out of a canon—”

“Likely story,” Jeff retorted. “And you had a _sleepover_ during the week of _Valentine’s Day?”_

Now, even Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine, shocked. 

“I… No. _No!_ That’s not—”

“I’m just not supposed to be suspicious when my boyfriend’s date from middle school suddenly can’t stop blowing up his phone? He’s my best friend, I can tell when he’s hiding something from me, and he’s been acting weirdly secretive since your little _rendezvous_ the other night.”

Blaine was looking more and more panicked by the second.

“Trying to rekindle the fire you and fourteen year old Nick had back in the day?” Jeff continued. “Did you get swept up in the romance of nostal—”

“All of that was because I asked him to look out for Kurt, okay!” Blaine finally exploded.

As Jeff shut his open mouth, Kurt snapped his head up, eyes wide. “You did?” he asked in astonishment. 

He felt his heart quicken in its pace. Blaine still cared about him.

Blaine swallowed. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I was worried about you having to adjust to a new school, especially after all the Karofsky bullshit happened… I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Blaine still _cared_ about him.

Jeff just stood there. “I…” he turned to Kurt. “Should I have filtered?”

Kurt pursed his lips. “You shoulda filtered.”

The blond shared an apologetic glance with Blaine. “I am so, _so_ sorry. That makes… that makes a lot of sense, especially knowing what happened… I just… I love Nick a lot…I get irrational and overprotective sometimes.”

“No, I…” Blaine looked to Kurt like he used to when they were still together. This friends thing was going to be way harder than expected if Blaine kept looking at him like that. “I get that completely.”

Even when Blaine looked back to Jeff, Kurt couldn’t pull his eyes off him. What the hell was that supposed to mean? 

“Oh god,” Jeff started. “Please don’t tell Nick I told you he used to have a crush on you, I think he might _actually_ kill me.”

“Your secret is safe with us,” Blaine chuckled. “As long as you sign a statement that says you know I am _not_ trying to take your boyfriend away.”

The blond looked down at his shoes and laughed sheepishly. “Deal… I’m um, gonna go,” he pointed to the door. “And plan something extra nice for Valentine’s Day tomorrow to make up for being a dick to my boyfriend’s friends…”

Jeff gave them a small wave and headed out the doors.

When he was gone, Blaine laughed. “Even outside of the New Directions, I can’t escape drama.” He shook his head and chuckled for a moment, laughing even harder when Kurt joined him. 

Within a matter of seconds, the two boys were reduced to two uncontrollable fits of giggles. 

“Well,” Kurt finally managed after gasping for air. “To finally answer your question, after Nick and Jeff, Pavarotti’s kind of my closest comrade.”

“Dear lord, what kind of parent names their child Pavarotti?”

“Oh, he’s not a student, he’s my bird.” Kurt smirked at Blaine’s bewildered look. He hid a grin behind his glass of water. “Didn’t I mention? I have a _bird_ now.”

Blaine broke out into a wide grin. “Tell me everything.”

* * *

“Love Song is a very broad term,” Blaine started. “Because love can mean a lot of things. It can mean being torn between two people. It can mean being jealous past the realm of rational… and it can mean missing someone like hell.” 

He cleared his throat at the mixture of confused and sympathetic glances around the choir room. “So, uh, Mercedes… Happy Valentine’s Day.”

She ducked her head almost guiltily as Blaine started[ singing. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YtzsUdSC_I)

**_I miss those blue eyes_ ** **_  
_** **_How you kiss me at night_ ** **_  
_** **_I miss the way we sleep_ ** **_  
_** **_Like there's no sunrise_ ** **_  
_** **_Like the taste of your smile_ ** **_  
_** **_I miss the way we breathe_ **

**_But I never told you_ ** **_  
_** **_What I should have said_ ** **_  
_** **_No, I never told you_ ** **_  
_** **_I just held it in_ **

**_And now I miss everything about you_ ** **_  
_** **_I can't believe it, I still want you_ ** **_  
_** **_After all the things we've been through_ ** **_  
_** **_I miss everything about you_ ** **_  
_** **_Without you, whoa_ **

Blaine didn’t have any regrets about what he’d done, because he felt it was the safe thing to do.

But that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

 **_But I never told you_ ** **_  
_** **_What I should have said_ ** **_  
_** **_No I never told you_ ** **_  
_** **_I just held it in_ **

Quinn and Mercedes joined in with the harmonies on the final chorus.

 **_And now I miss everything about you (still you're gone)_ ** **_  
_** **_Can't believe it, I still want you (And I'm lovin' you, I never should have walked away)_ ** **_  
_** **_After all the things we've been through (I know it’s never gonna come again)_ ** **_  
_** **_I miss everything about you_ ** **_  
_** ****_Without you, whoa, no, no…_

The song wound down to a close and Blaine found himself wondering if the right thing would always hurt this much.

**_Mmmhhmm_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Rachel's solo: You Ain't Woman Enough (to Take My Man) by Loretta Lynn (truly a country queen)  
> Sam's group number: This Boy by The Beatles  
> Blaine's Solo: I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat


	12. Blame It On The Alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I watched the news for the first time in a loooooong time today and that was a massive mistake so! HERE LET ME DISTRACT MYSELF BY UPLOADING THIS CHAPTER EARLY
> 
> *Meryl Streep hands* who’s ready for some blaaaaaaaangst????  
> Also:   
> first song: _Kurt_ **Santana _Both_**  
>  Second song: _Kurt_ **Blaine _Both_**
> 
> A huge thanks to my beta Adri, who forever keeps me from screaming into a void of darkness out of frustration using her ability to untangle my thoughts
> 
> enjoy :)

**_Here's what you missed._ **

**_Quinn was dating Sam. Then she kissed Finn—but not for the reason you’d think._ **

_ “When did you know you were gay?” _

**_Will's not dating anyone and says he's over Emma but it seems like he's still got a thing for her even though she's married and no one really cares._ **

**_Kurt and Blaine used to be boyfriends, but Karofsky kissed Kurt and threatened to kill him, so Blaine told him he didn’t love him that way Kurt would leave McKinley._ **

_ “I could never leave. I have you here.” _

**_And Kurt was really mad for awhile—_ **

_ “I don’t love you.” _

_ “I will never forgive you for this.” _

**_But they’re friends again now._ **

**_Sebastian seems really into Kurt—_ **

_ “I like you. And I think you’re someone worth trying for.” _

**_And Kurt wasn’t interested at first, but now he seems ready to move on._ **

_ “Okay.” _

**_On top of that, the New Directions face off against the Warblers at Regionals in a few weeks and the theme is anthem and if they lose they don’t make it to Nationals again, yikes!_ **

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

“It sounds awful,” Santana said to Brittany, who was on the other end of the phone… as well as right next to her. “Is anybody going?”

“Let me find out.” Brittany said. With the hit of a speed dial button, she called Artie’s number. “Did you hear?” 

“Yes,” he answered. “Mercedes just told me.”

“Tell them I'll go if they go,” Mercedes whispered to Artie as she rolled him down the hall. “And ask Blaine if he’s going.”

“Tell them yourself. I ain't no pony express.” 

She rolled her eyes and pushed the call button on the Bluetooth device in her ear. “You're going, right?” she asked Santana and Brittany. “Also, does anyone know if Blaine’s going?”

“I’ll ask hobbit if he’s going, but I highly doubt it. He’s been like, super weirdly sad lately and it’s a total vibe killer.”

Blaine was walking down the hall with Quinn when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He ignored it the first time since there was a no phone policy at McKinley (poorly enforced, but still). 

Brittany and Santana strode by him, both with their phones glued to their ears and the latter throwing her arms out and shooting him a  _ What are you doing? _ look.

“Answer your phone, dipshit.”

He and Quinn exchanged confused looks before Blaine quickly dug out his phone and pressed the answer button, putting it on speaker so they could both hear. “H-hello?” he asked cautiously.

“Are you two going to Rachel’s thing on Saturday?” Santana asked through the phone.

“Why didn’t you ask me in person, we just saw each—”

“Just answer the question.”

“I uh, haven’t decided yet.” Blaine said honestly. “Hadn’t really thought of it. Why, are you?”

Santana huffed. “I'm only going if there's liquor, because a Rachel Berry party is not something I can do sober.”

“But it's Alcohol Awareness Week,” Blaine pointed out. He’d had a few alcoholic misadventures with Finn and Puck before, but something about having a party this particular week felt the tiniest bit blasphemous.

“Precisely. And I am  _ aware _ of how much fun alcohol is.”

“Let's ask Puckerman,” Brittany suggested before dialing in his number to the conference call.

“You're go for Puck.”

“Noah, it's Santittany, Artcedes, and Quaine. Can your friend score us some wine coolers?”

“No, but his I.D. can.”

“Blondie, Curls, you in?” Santana asked.

Blaine looked at Quinn, who simply shrugged. “Yeah,” he finally answered for them. “Why not.”

“Well, if we're all in, it's settled,” Mercedes said, as they all managed to convene in one intersection of the hallways. Blaine looked around confusedly. Hadn’t they been walking in seperate directions? How did they all end up together?

No one else seemed to notice what Blaine was now convinced was a glitch in the matrix.

“The Rachel Berry house party train wreck extravaganza is officially a go.”

He had no idea what compelled Mercedes to preemptively label the party a train wreck. It would just be the twelve of them. Really, what was the worst that could happen?

* * *

Kurt had a glass of warm milk in tow as he headed up the stairs to Finn’s room for yet another attempt at some brotherly conversation. He knocked on Finn’s barely cracked open door, pushing it open when he didn’t get a response.

He sighed and realized Finn must be in the shower or busy elsewhere.

In the dim glow of his brother’s room, the bright light of Finn’s desktop caught Kurt’s attention. 

He knitted his eyebrows together, his curiosity admittedly a little piqued. He leaned forward to the already open browser history, all the tabs selected like someone was about to do a mass deletion.

He saw the titles of the tabs and wasn’t sure whether to be horrified or amused.

_ Why doesn’t my gf want to have sex? _ _   
_ _ Best free adult movies online free _ _   
_ _ My socks smell like cornchips _ _   
_ _ How to be a good brother to my gay sibling _ _   
_ _ Why doesn’t my Jewish gf want to have sex? _

“Kurt—?” 

Kurt heard his step-brother’s voice from behind him and snapped his head back to look at him, smug grin on his face. “Finneas Christopher Hudson, you are one typical teenage boy.”

“Oh my god,” Finn cried, face paling as he rushed up to the computer to gauge everything Kurt had just seen. “How much did you see?”

“Enough, trust me.”

“Please, please,  _ please _ don’t tell Rachel!” he begged. “I’ll do anything! Anything, I swear!”

Kurt crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow. “Anything?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhh…” 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I was gonna ask if anything included telling me what that secret stash of drinks you’re hiding in the hall closet my dad and Carole never go in is all about.”

His step-brother’s eyes grew wide as dinner plates. 

“You’re not exactly as discreet as you think you are. Spill.”

Finn huffed. “Rachel’s having a party.” He finally admitted.

Kurt dropped his jaw. “What? When?”

“Saturday night.”

“And she didn’t invite  _ me?” _

Finn shrugged. “I tried to get her to invite you, I swear! But then she pointed out how you’d probably wanna invite Sebastian or Nick and you guys are technically competition and… she can be  _ really _ convinc—“

“Wait a second,” Kurt said, narrowing his eyes at his brother. “Who told you about Sebastian?”

“Uh, have you  _ met _ Rachel?” 

Kurt scoffed.

“Speaking of,” Finn started as slyly as he could. “What’s going on with you two? Are you like, dating?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no.” He debunked Finn’s suspicion, recalling the fiasco from the week of Valentine’s Day. “I mean, he’s made it very clear that he’s interested in me—”

“Didn’t need to know that.”

“But I’m not entirely sure I’m ready for another relationship yet. If that’s even what he wants. Sebastian doesn’t really seem like the relationship type.” 

“And what does Blaine have to say about all that?”

Kurt stilled. “Truthfully, his opinion doesn’t really matter in this situation.” He waved a dismissive hand. “I’m through with this, back to the party. Is it at Rachel’s house?”

Finn paled. “Kurt, no! If she finds out I told you, she’ll kill me! We barely have enough people for Regionals as is, with you at Dalton.”

Kurt hummed in phony thoughtfulness. “I wonder how she’d feel about knowing the contents of your browser history.”

Finn let out a long, exasperated sigh and plopped his head on his desk before letting out a muffled, “Fiiiiiiiine!”

“See you Saturday, big brother!” Kurt said in a sing-song voice with a shit eating grin. With that, he sauntered out the door into his own room, looking forward to hanging out with his old friends once again.

* * *

“Welcome!” Rachel led Finn down the staircase to her basement, face falling when she saw the two Warblers behind him. She shot her boyfriend a concerned glare. “Kurt. Sebastian. I wasn't expecting you guys.”

“Hm, you would have been not-expecting more of us if Jeff and Nick didn’t already have plans for Color-Me-Mine.” Kurt said. “And by the way, let that be the last time you don’t invite me to a party.”

“Kurt’s been blackmailing me ever since he saw my open browser history. He kind of insisted on coming…” Finn explained.

“I'm totally off the clock right now, Rachel,” Sebastain assured her. ”I'm not a Warbler. I'm just Sebastian. I'm not even wearing my uniform.”

“So, this is your dads' Oscar room.” Kurt decided to change the subject to something that would get Rachel talking instead of kicking them out and accusing them of being spies.

“Yes! They transformed our ordinary basement for our famous annual Oscar parties.”

“Is that a stage?” Sebastian pointed out, nudging Kurt gently. 

“I kind of like to give impromptu performances for our neighbors sometimes.” Rachel said nonchalantly.

“Well, we could definitely give your friends a good show one way or another, huh?” Sebastian threw a wink in Kurt’s direction.

Kurt never had to do a spit-take before, but if he ever did, he was pretty sure this would have been the perfect time for one. He sputtered out a laugh. “In your dreams, Smythe.”

The four of them finally reached the bottom of the staircase and Kurt froze when he saw Blaine by the laundry area, laughing with Mercedes and Puck. His heart stopped when Blaine turned to look at him.

He knew Blaine would be here, but it was still weird. Fighting off the antsy feeling in his toes that made him want to go over and habitually kiss Blaine in greeting was...  _ weird _ .

Blaine smiled, ridiculously pleasantly surprised to see his ex here. “Kurt!” he called out happily. He surged forward to give him a big hug but abruptly stopped himself when a taller figure stepped out from behind him. “Oh… uh, hey Sebastian.”

Rachel must’ve sensed the tension in the air because she suddenly changed the subject with a loud clap of her hands. “Let's, uh—Let's go over the rules. Everybody gets two drink tickets to keep things from getting out of hand. We are serving wine coolers today. That is our specialty drink. It's actually all we have… Brittany!” She scolded the girl sitting on top of the dryer. “Remember the rules. No sitting on anything. Okay. Okay, everybody. Cheers!”

While a few of the New Directions attempted to leave Rachel’s disaster party, Blaine turned back to Kurt.

“So… How have things been at Dalton this week?”

“They’ve been good,” Kurt said shortly, all too aware that Sebastian’s presence by his side made this conversation about a thousand times more uncomfortable than its baseline.

“I’d say they’ve been great.” Sebastain said, just a hint of challenge in his voice. “You guys must really be struggling without Kurt at McKinley. He’s truly an essential asset to the Warblers. Kind of a bonehead move, letting him go, don’t you think?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “The New Directions are plenty talented without me. Though I do think they could use some more showbiz pizzazz.” He chuckled and Blaine tried hard not to let the way the couple in front of him shared a chummy laugh get to him.

Nick had said that Kurt rejected Sebastian last week, but now he was bringing him to a party? His stomach flipped uncomfortably at the memory of Sebastian’s grand gesture. What if Sebastian had persisted just enough to make Kurt give him a shot?

“I’m going to say hi to Mercedes really quick,” Kurt said, and Blaine knew he wasn’t really talking to him—but to Sebastian. 

“Okay,” Sebastain said, leaning in to quickly press a kiss to Kurt’s cheek.

Kurt’s face darkened and his jaw dropped slightly while Sebastian went on like the gesture was nothing but casual. He looked at Blaine, feeling the slightest bit guilty for some reason. “I’ll uh, be right back.”

Blaine felt his heart plummet. That was all the confirmation he needed. Kurt and Sebastian were definitely together.

As soon as Kurt was gone, Blaine glared at Sebastian. “Look, Smythe. I don’t know what your angle is, but don’t you dare come here acting like you know anything about me. Or anything about Kurt, for that matter.”

“I know  _ plenty _ about Kurt, trust me.” His inflection made Blaine’s gut writhe with jealousy. “I know he’s a talented singer, a hard worker, and one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. On top of that, he also happens to be the finest piece of ass this side of the tracks.”

“Don’t talk about him like he’s some prize to be won, you dick,” Blaine practically growled. 

“I’m not,” Sebastian said simply, remaining irritatingly calm. “That would imply there’s any competition. And from what I can tell, you’ve already had your chance.” He clicked his tongue and clapped Blaine on the shoulder. 

With a pompous wink, he was off towards Kurt’s side again.

Rachel held up a wine cooler, apparently having changed her tune about the sobriety level of the party. “Let's party!”

* * *

Not even thirty minutes later, Kurt watched with just the slightest bits of amusement and judgement as Rachel threw back yet another wine cooler and burped loudly. 

“It tastes like pink…  _ It tastes like piiiiiiink!” _

Kurt burst out laughing as a familiar body clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really glad you blackmailed me into letting you come, little brother,” Finn said, staring at his drunk girlfriend with a goofy grin.

“Ditto,” Kurt laughed. “You not drinking?”

Finn shook his head. “Designated driver. You?”

“Nope. I’ve got to keep up a good image with the Warblers. I can’t have Sebastian telling them that their newest recruit is a sloppy lightweight.” Just then, Sebastian drunkenly walked by, shaking his head violently in lieu of dancing.

Kurt and Finn looked at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing. “Clearly he doesn’t have the same concern.”

Rachel suddenly ran up to them and pulled on Finn’s hand. “Come sing with me!” she pleaded. Finn gave Kurt a questioning eyebrow and Kurt gave his brother an understanding nod in return. 

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Finn said before they headed off to the stage.

Kurt sighed and turned to plop down on the couch in the middle of the room for a moment of peace that lasted about three seconds before another warm body was sitting flush against him and throwing an arm around him.

“So are you and CW Hair over there fucking or nah?”

Kurt sighed. “Always a pleasure to have your input, Satan.”

Santana just rolled her eyes. “It’s a yes or no question, Hummel. I could do without the sarcasm.”

“And I could do without the invasive questions, and yet,” he gave her a teasing smile. “Here we are.”

“That was a long winded way of saying you haven’t screwed your bird buddy yet.”

“What is it with you and rude nick names?”

“I  _ honestly _ forgot his name, so I like to challenge myself. Test my creativity.”

“Anyways,” Kurt rolled his eyes. “No. Sebastian and I haven’t… we really haven’t done anything.”

“Why not?”

Kurt shrugged. “I mean he’s great, but…” His eyes drifted toward Blaine, who was happily tipping the contents of his red solo cup back into his mouth as he danced with Mercedes, Sam, and Quinn to  _ Like a G6.  _

His stomach fluttered when Blaine caught his gaze and sent a smile his way. Kurt couldn’t help but wiggle his fingers in greeting and smile back at him.

“But you’re still not over the reincarnation of Fonzie?” Santana finished for him.

“We’re friends,” he said insistently. 

Santana just rolled her eyes. “When people love each other like you two do, you can’t be just friends.” Her gaze drifted over towards the corner where Puck was taking a body shot off of Brittany’s stomach and Kurt couldn’t help but think she looked a little sad. She shook her head and glanced back at him. “You’re telling me you’re not mad at all?”

Kurt opened his mouth to speak but found that no words were able to make their way out of it. He thought back to something Blaine had told him the year before.  _ Just because you’re angry with someone doesn’t mean you stop loving them.  _

In that case, of course he was still mad. He was  _ furious _ . But he’d told Blaine that already, and Blaine had apologized and Kurt had forgiven him and they’d moved on… right? 

“Hm, that’s what I thought.” She lifted her legs and rocked herself up from the couch and headed towards the stage, gesturing for Kurt to follow her. “Hey Yentl, FrankenTeen,” she called. “Stop the stage hogging, you’re being a bad host. It’s our turn.”

Rachel rolled her eyes but once Finn was off the stage, followed him, nearly falling right off of it.

Santana jumped on and tossed one of the mics to Kurt. “We’re gonna sing our anger out to the tune of some Alanis. Try and keep up.”

Kurt shot her a playful glare as the music started. “I always do.”

_ You seem very well, things look peaceful _ _   
_ **I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know**

_ Did you forget about me, _ _   
_ _ Mr. Duplicity? _ _   
_ **I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner** **  
** _ It was a slap in the face _ _   
_ _ How quickly I was replaced _ _   
_ **And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?**

Santana held a mocking hand up to cover her mouth after singing the cuss word—a sarcastic  _ oops _ . Kurt allowed himself to laugh.

**'Cause the love that you gave that we made** **  
** **Wasn’t able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no** **  
** _ And every time you speak her name _ _   
_ _ Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you die, 'til you die? _ _   
_ **_But you're still alive_ **

Kurt didn’t intend for his mind to drift towards the false promises Blaine made, but it was You Oughta Know, so he figured— _ fuck it.  _

He hopped along on the balls of his feet to the tempo of the song with Santana, remembering how Blaine had said he thought about marrying Kurt earlier that year. Clearly  _ that _ had been a lie.

**_And I'm here to remind you_ ** **_  
_ ** _ Of the mess you left when you went away _ _   
_ **_It's not fair to deny me_ ** **_  
_ ** **Of the cross I bear that you gave to me** **  
** **_You, you, you oughta know_ **

**'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed: that was me, and I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes** **  
** **And you know it**

_ And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it _ _   
_ _ Well, can you feel it? _

Kurt had been feeling weirdly guilty about bringing Sebastian all night, but that all ended now. He and Blaine were friends now, but Blaine had still broken up with him, and Kurt was allowed to bring a cute guy to a party.

He was allowed to at least  _ try _ to move on.

And he was allowed to sing his anger out through a song with his tipsy friend in true New Directions fashion.

**_Well, I'm here to remind you_ ** **_  
_ ** _ Of the mess you left when you went away _ _   
_ **_It's not fair to deny me_ ** **_  
_ ** **Of the cross I bear that you gave to me** **  
** **_You, you, you oughta know_ **

**_Why I’m here to remind you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Of the mess you left when you went away_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's not fair to deny me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You, you, you oughta know_ **

The music faded out and the pair laughed in good nature for a moment.

“Okay Satan,” Kurt said with mild approval. “I won’t lie… that was quite cathartic.”

“You know what else might be cathartic? Getting your brains fucked out by that Smythe guy. Or your ex who you’re clearly not over. Hate sex is a thing.”

Kurt opened his mouth to verbalize his horror at the explicit suggestion but was immediately interrupted by an already buzzed Blaine rushing up and nearly tackling him in a hug. 

“Kurt!” he drunkenly gushed. “That was soooooo good!”

Santana stood behind Blaine, looking at Kurt and poking her tongue through her cheek in an obscene gesture.

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s back and glared at Santana, flipping her off before pulling away from Blaine. 

“We have to sing one together, Kurt!” Blaine pleaded. “Please, please, please, please!? For old time’s sake.”

This was a bad idea. Kurt knew it was a bad idea, but he saw the look on Blaine’s face—the bright, unwavering optimism and hopefulness in his amber eyes, the crinkles at the sides of his eyes that only made an appearance when it was a smile that was really and truly meant—and also knew he could never say no.

“Sure,” Kurt caved easily. “What did you have in mind?”

Sam cupped his hands together and shouted across the room, “Play that Neon Trees song!”

Blaine pointed to Sam. “Oh, that’s a good one! Do you know it, Kurt?”

Kurt nodded. He’d heard it on the radio a few times. A little Top 40 for his taste, but for Blaine, he’d make an exception.

They hopped on the stage and Blaine tossed Kurt a microphone, keeping Rachel’s bedazzled pink one for himself.

“I get the pretty mic tonight, Hummel,” Blaine teased. Kurt snorted a laugh before the music came in.

Blaine clutched the mic stand and sang out the first verse.

**Here we go again** **  
** **I kinda wanna be more than friends** **  
** **So take it easy on me** **  
** **I’m afraid you’re never satisfied**

Kurt hadn’t heard Blaine sing since Sectionals, and nearly missed his entrance realizing how much he wished he had.

_ Here we go again _ _   
_ _ We’re sick like animals we play pretend _ _   
_ _ You're just a cannibal _ _   
_ _ I’m afraid I won’t get out alive _

**_No I won’t sleep tonight_ **

**_Oh oh I want some more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh oh what are you waiting for?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Take a bite of my heart tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh oh I want some more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh oh what are you waiting for?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_What are you waiting for?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Say goodbye to my heart tonight_ **

Kurt dramatically turned to Blaine, bringing his finger to his lips on the bridge. Laughter bubbled out through his singing when even without discussing it beforehand, Blaine did the same motion.

**_Hush hush the world is quiet_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hush hush we both can’t fight it_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It’s us that made this mess_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Why can’t you understand_ **

**_No I won’t sleep tonight_ **

During the instrumental break, Blaine reached out for Kurt’s hand and spun around under it a few times, energetically hopping on his feet. Kurt joined him in his nonsensical choreography until it was time for the final chorus.

**_Oh oh I want some more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh oh what are you waiting for?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Take a bite of my heart tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh oh I want some more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh oh what are you waiting for?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_What are you waiting for?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Say goodbye to my heart tonight_ **

They got off the stage and Blaine smiled back at Kurt. “We sounded really good.”

“Speak for yourself,” Kurt scoffed.

“No, really,” Blaine started up again. “We haven’t sounded that good since our first duet. Do you remember?”

“No, I’m blanking,” Kurt teased. He quickly explained himself at Blaine’s disheartened expression. “No, B, I was—I’m  _ kidding _ . Of course I remember.  _ I’ll Cover You. _ I was so afraid that you were going to quit Glee and I was never going to get the chance to tell you—”

Kurt froze.

“Tell me what?” Blaine inquired.

Kurt mustered up every single ounce of courage he had to look Blaine in the eye. “To tell you how I feel,” he said, lower than before, but loud enough to still be heard above the music.

Blaine felt his breath hitch, and maybe it was the fact that he’d already had a few wine-coolers, and historically speaking, alcohol led to bad decisions for him, but he found himself wondering… Nick had said Kurt was clearly still interested in Blaine. What if they just gave this one more shot? They saw each other often enough, and maybe since Kurt was already at Dalton, he wouldn’t be tempted to come back to McKinley. 

Before he could verbalize any of that, he was interrupted by Rachel barreling towards the group of people by the stage and suddenly shouting out, “Spin the bottle! Who wants to play  _ spin the bottle!?” _

In an instant, Sebastian was at Kurt’s side, seemingly coming out of nowhere and dragging him to the circle of drunk singers that was forming. “Kuuuuurt, we have to play! This is going to be so much funnnn!” 

That’s when Blaine remembered the Sebastian of it all. This would be a foolproof idea if Kurt wasn’t already in the circle, cozying up next to the head Warbler.

Blaine, after getting over the whiplash from Sebastian whisking Kurt away, took a seat next to a very tipsy Quinn. She hummed a laugh and strewed herself across her best friend’s lap. He looked down at her and fondly patted her head.

As the game went on, and the various combinations of New Directions kissed each other, Kurt couldn’t keep his eyes off Blaine for very long at a time. 

Eventually, it was Brittany’s turn, and her spin landed on Blaine. Kurt was still too preoccupied with thoughts of his ex to really notice.

_ Blaine and I are friends now… that means I can take a date to a party and not feel guilty about it—shit…  _ **_is_ ** _ this a date? Does Sebastian think this is a date? Do I even want it to be? _

Blaine’s laugh—his beautiful, familiar laugh that Blaine said was annoying but Kurt constantly reassured him was like music to his ears—brought him back to the party.

“Thanks for that, Britt.”

The curly haired boy leaned over and spun the bottle with a flick of his wrist.

Kurt’s stomach plummeted as the bottle slowed down and finally stopped. The rest of the New Directions sensed the tension and fell silent. It was a moment before anyone acknowledged the bottle pointing right at him.

“We, uh… we don’t have to—“ Kurt started, but Blaine immediately cut him off.

“It’s–it’s fine!” he said, a little too eagerly. Blaine hoped he wasn’t being too transparent, but based on Quinn’s equally condescending and uncomfortable expression, he probably was. “I just,” he amended. “We’re all good friends here. It’s just a game. I can handle it, can you?”

Blaine hadn’t intended for those last two words to come out as high and mighty as they sounded, but he saw Kurt’s jaw clench just slightly and realized his mistake. “I-I-I didn’t mean—” He tried to backtrack on them, but his ex cut him off before he could. 

“I can handle it,” Kurt huffed shortly.

Blaine swallowed nervously before hesitantly leaning forward to meet Kurt’s lips with his own. 

It was chaste—they weren’t dating anymore. Blaine couldn’t dig his hands into Kurt’s chestnut hair, couldn't pull him closer and open his mouth like he was used to—like he so desperately wanted to. He couldn’t pull back and rest their foreheads together and whisper “I love you,” to him before pressing his lips to Kurt’s neck anymore, couldn’t let Kurt know how much he still felt for him.

He never thought kissing Kurt could  _ hurt _ like this.

It lasted about half as long as either of them would have liked, but eventually, they reluctantly pulled apart.

As the two retreated to their spots, Blaine couldn’t help but stare at Kurt’s flushed face and notice his crystal blue eyes momentarily meet his before they darted back down. The paler boy reached over and spun the bottle, Blaine only vaguely aware of his movements due to the fact that his head was still spinning.

The high of the kiss quickly wore off and Blaine’s heart sank to the floor as the bottle started spinning slower and slower, eventually landing on the one person he wished it hadn’t. The wine cooler lay there, pointing right at Sebastian and everyone else let out a roar of whoops and cheers.

Sebastian laughed and pointed at Kurt. “I’m about to rock your world, Hummel.”

Kurt teasingly rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you a—“

He was silenced with Sebastian’s lips pressing on his own.

Blaine couldn’t do anything but watch the scene helplessly, noting that Sebastian wasn’t just kissing Kurt… but Kurt was starting to kiss him back, reaching up to cup his cheek in order to pull them closer. 

Funnily enough,  _ Blaine  _ was the one who couldn’t handle this. He felt tears pool behind his eyelids and inhaled deeply to keep them at bay. He should’ve never agreed to play this stupid game. He should’ve left to go set up shots with Puck the moment he saw Sebastian take Kurt’s hand so he wouldn’t have to witness this. Or maybe he should’ve stayed home, watched a movie with his mom. Anything but  _ this. _

He abruptly stood up and went to the counter where Puck was setting up for the next game by lining up a row of ten or so shots of vodka. Blaine took three of them in a row, ignoring the burning in his throat.

“Woah there, Blainers!” Puck extended an arm to stop Blaine from reaching out for a fourth. “Pace yourself! Or do you  _ want _ alcohol poisoning?”

Blaine sighed and glanced back at the circle of drunk teenagers that were  _ still _ cheering on Kurt and Sebastian. This hell would never end. 

Focusing his vision took a lot more effort and concentration than it did a few minutes ago, and all his movements felt so fast but took too long.

“No…” he finally answered, steadying himself. “But I do want some fresh air.” 

With that, he headed up the stairs and out the door to Rachel’s back porch.

Meanwhile, Kurt finally pulled away from Sebastian, cheeks burning red. That hadn’t been unpleasant at all. “That was um… nice,” Kurt mumbled.

“Nice?” Sebastian asked with a ridiculous grin. “That was like the Superman of kisses. I would definitely not be opposed to another one.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure if Sebastian really meant that, or was just trying to flatter him, but he knew the kiss wasn’t anything special. He clearly knew what he was doing but… it quite literally felt like  _ just _ a kiss. 

He was about to respond and tell his friend to calm down when he finally noticed Blaine’s empty spot. He looked around at the rest of the group. “Where’s Blaine?”

* * *

Blaine stood out in the cool midnight air. Or maybe it was past midnight. He had no idea what time it was, not that it mattered anyway. 

The only thing that mattered—the only thing he could think of was how bad he’d screwed up. Yes, he’d meant to send Kurt to Dalton, but he never intended to drive him right into the arms of someone else so quickly. He was an idiot to think someone as spectacular as Kurt would wait for an idiot like himself. Of course Sebastian swooped in as soon as possible.

“You said you could handle it, B.” The familiar voice broke Blaine out of his thoughts.

He whipped around too quickly for someone who had taken a few shots only a minute ago, already feeling their effect along with the rest of the drinks he’d had that night finally catching up to him. “Yeah, well maybe I'm a liar.”

“You're drunk,” Kurt said simply.

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed. On the bright side, it’ll help get the image of you making out with your new  _ boyfriend _ out of my head.” Blaine said sourly, filter dissolved in alcohol.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Kurt corrected him, taking a bold step forward and crossing his arms. 

For a moment, hope glowed bright in Blaine’s chest. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

“But let me get this straight,” Kurt spat bitterly. “If he were, you’d be mad at me for trying to move on?”

Blaine groaned in frustration, hating how hard it was to put what he was feeling into coherent words. It was like swimming through his thoughts to find the right words before realizing the wrong ones were already out of his mouth. “No, I'm upset that it's coming so  _ easily _ for you! It's like—it’s like you don't even care.”

Kurt blinked, astonished for a moment before the astonishment turned to an awful mix of hurt and outrage.

“ _ I _ don't care...? I don't  _ care? _ ” he snapped, voice trembling and unable to stop hot, angry tears from spilling over. “Are you  _ fucking _ kidding me? Do you know how many nights I spent crying myself to sleep? How hard it was for me to even watch you guys perform at Sectionals because all I could think about was you tearing my heart into a million pieces? You don’t get to tell me  _ I don’t fucking care _ when you’re the one who ruined  _ such _ a good thing!” Once the tears started, there was no stopping them. “So yes, I  _ am _ trying very hard to get over you, because it  _ is _ hard, Blaine. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Just because you stopped loving me doesn't mean I stopped loving you!”

Kurt’s chest was heaving with short breaths and Blaine could just barely make out his tear stained cheeks under the pale moonlight. In less than a second, he reached out to grab the front of Kurt’s jacket and without really thinking, brought their lips together.

Kurt immediately melted into the kiss, involuntarily sighing a little as he bunched the front of Blaine’s shirt up in his fist and tugged, trying to bring them even closer. 

He missed this. He missed  _ Blaine.  _

He missed the familiar way their mouths moved over one another, the feeling of warmth that spread from his chest that just wasn’t there when he kissed Sebastian, no matter how  _ nice _ it felt. He missed feeling safe and secure in not just any boy’s arms, but  _ this _ boy’s arms. He missed the way Blaine’s tongue felt in his mouth, soft and warm and how his breath tasted just like a hint of cocoa and coffee and—

Kurt suddenly tasted something different, something that reminded him this kiss was anything but real:  _ alcohol _ .

Blaine was drunk.

_ Of course he doesn’t magically love you again.  _

Kurt pushed his arms forward until they split asunder. “Wait, wait ,wait, no, what am I doing?” he mumbled half to himself, rubbing his temple. He looked up at Blaine. “What are  _ you _ doing?  _ You _ broke up with  _ me _ , remember?”

Blaine felt the now familiar churning in his stomach resurface, slowly climbing its way up his throat. He reminded himself why he did this in the first place. Kurt. Karofsky. Dalton. He was really willing to risk Kurt's safety—give him a reason to come back to McKinley—because he couldn't handle being without Kurt. This was just about the most _selfish_ thing he could’ve done.

He clapped a hand over his mouth and made a beeline back inside to the restroom, nearly knocking over a very tipsy Quinn on his way.

“Holy shit, Blainey Days,” she giggled. “Someone can’t handle their tequilaaaaaa,” she added in a sing-song voice.

He sank to his knees and retched up into the toilet, his abdomen contracting painfully as his body attempted to purge all the alcohol he had taken in much too quickly. Quinn watched from the door, her playful demeanor suddenly replaced with worry. “Shit, B… are you okay?”

“Guh… Vodka,” he said simply, breath heaving. “Not tequila.”

“Noted… for next time.”

The next time Blaine lifted his head, he could see Kurt at the doorway, standing next to Quinn.

“Hey, you… you guysssokay?” she slurred. 

“I don’t know.” Kurt answered honestly, not taking his eyes off Blaine. “I thought that he… hell, I honestly don’t know what I thought.”

“He-he still loves s’you.”

“Please,” Kurt started, holding a hand up to her. “Don’t. You have no clue what you’re talking about, you’re drunk. And so is he. Blaine doesn’t love me anymore... I’m not sure if he ever did. He’s made that abundantly clear tonight.”

“No, no, no,” she shook her head slowly, trying to come off as convincing as possible. “He’s just trying to—trying to protect you.”

“Quinn—“

“N’ you still love him.”

From the bathroom, Blaine could see the fuzzy but still familiar outline of Kurt’s body, arms crossed and looking down at him like it hurt him to do so.

“I do,” Kurt finally said. Blaine turned his head to face the shower curtain so that Kurt wouldn’t see him cry in response to the next words out of his mouth. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t. It’d be easier then.”

Something tugged at Blaine’s gut and he turned his head to throw up into the toilet bowl again, not entirely convinced the sudden relapse of nausea was purely from the booze. 

“Hey Kurt,” a different voice called out this time. Blaine didn’t have any strength left to turn his head and see Sebastian standing in the doorway next to his ex. “Where have you been? Shit, are you okay?”

“No I’m—” Blaine heard Kurt stop himself. “Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. I don’t want anything to keep us from having a good time tonight. Let’s head back downstairs.”

“Okay, good, because Rachel finally let go of the mic again and I think we should sing something together…”

As they walked back down the stairs to the party, Blaine rested his head on the wall next to him and closed his eyes. Maybe a few seconds of rest was all he needed. Maybe he would wake up and this would all be a bad dream.

His theory was proved incorrect when what seemed like a few seconds later, two sets of hands were lifting him up, trying to get him on his feet.

“Wha—” Blaine mumbled, unsure what was happening.

“S’ he okay? He was-was passed out for so long I couldn’t tell... if he was okay.” Blaine could barely see straight, much less walk straight, but he could still recognize Quinn’s voice.

The response came from right above him. “Yeah,” Finn said. “He’s fine, just plastered.”

“Good thinking calling us, Fabray,” Puck said. “I don’t think you’re in too good a place to be helping him right now.”

Blaine felt his feet stumbling along as the two boys dragged him outside and gently laid him down in the backseat of Finn’s truck.

Logically, Blaine knew that the truck wasn’t driving mindlessly in circles, but it sure felt that way. He thought that if he closed his eyes, it would stop the spinning. He shut them and slowly drifted off into unconsciousness.

* * *

When Blaine next opened his eyes, he wasn’t sure how long it had been. He could hear his friends talking in hushed and concerned voices about him.

“I’ve never seen him like this, man… I’m kinda worried about him.”

“What do you mean? Blaine’s always been kinda sloppy.”

“Yeah, but Blaine is a happy drunk. He laughs it up and hogs the karaoke machine. He doesn’t get blackout drunk and start crying like this.”

“I guess the breakup is hitting him pretty hard…”

“I dunno… seems like more than that.”

Blaine stirred, his eyes closed but still conscious. “S’my dad…” he mumbled. 

Puck turned to the backseat of Finn’s truck. “Shit, Blainers, you up?”’

“It’s my dad,” Blaine said, more clearly this time, throat raspy and tongue swollen. 

“What?”

“He’s an alcoholic,” he mumbled. 

Finn and Puck both visibly tensed up, neither knowing whether or not it was appropriate to listen to their friend’s drunken ramblings.

“Used to beat the crap out of me,” Blaine continued his explanation. “That’s why I can never handle my liquor. I don’t have the gene that knows when enough is enough.”

The only sound filling the cab of the truck was the tires rolling smoothly against the pavement like white noise. After a moment, Finn finally spoke. “Fuck…” He muttered. “Blaine, I… That’s a lot… I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah. Me, too…” he admitted. “I’m so… so fucking scared that I’ll end up just like him.”

Puck reached back from the passenger seat to pat Blaine’s leg in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “Hey, man, that could  _ never _ happen… not even in a million years. That’s just not you. You’re like, one of the nicest guys I know.”

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut harder, hoping that would keep the tears back. “I’m a terrible person. You guys have no idea. I’ve said some terrible, awful things to my mother. And she’s the greatest mom in the world. Fuck, she’s  _ such _ a good mom. She’d be so disappointed to see me like this. Don’t let her see me,” he begged, growing hysterical. “Don’t let her see me like this. Don’t let her see me like him.”

“We won’t,” Finn promised. “We’re gonna get you home to your bed, though, okay?”

“She’d be so disappointed…” Blaine repeated. “I’m a disappointment, when you get to know me. That’s why I don’t let anyone know. I don’t let anyone know what happened to me with my dad or in middle school because this is it. This is all there is… I’m not actually good at anything, I just know enough to not look like a complete idiot.”

“Nah, Blaine, that's—that’s not true.”

“This is it,” Blaine repeated, softer and not really talking to anyone but himself. “This is all I am. A sad, messy disappointment. This is it…”

His friends’ cries of protests faded into the background and once again, he slipped back into unconsciousness.

* * *

“Hey, Kurt, come give me a hand with these eggs,” Burt called out, already climbing the stairs up towards his son’s room.

“I'll be down in a minute!” Kurt called back.

“What the hell is a shirred egg?” Burt asked, perusing the cookbook. “Is that—is that the same thing as a scrambled egg?”

He pushed open the door and saw a heavy bundle under the blankets. He furrowed his eyebrows and threw a hand out. Kurt was normally finishing up his moisturizing routine by this time in the morning. “Hey, what's this? Today was the day you were gonna teach me all about brunch.”

Kurt popped his head out from the nook where his vanity stood—not the bed, where Burt assumed he was lying. “I'll be down in a sec,” Kurt repeated, rubbing the last of some cream off his face.

With wide eyes, Burt did a double take between the bed and his son. If Kurt was at his vanity…

A sandy brown head of hair popped up from the pillows. “Oh, where am I?”

“Oh,” was all Burt could get out. “Uh… I'm sorry. My bad.”

The door shut behind Kurt’s dad and Sebastian groaned. “Was that your dad?” He asked, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

“Yeah,” Kurt confirmed. “I’m supposed to be teaching him how to make brunch today, but I suppose we need to get you home.”

Sebastian hummed happily. “As long as I get a goodbye kiss. Because the ones last night were… really something.”

After Blaine had left, Kurt had sung a few duets with Sebastian and somehow that inevitably led to a few more kisses. He felt a little guilty, knowing a big part of the reason he’d done that had been to smother any last memory of the way Blaine’s lips felt on his. But Sebastian definitely didn’t seem to mind.

“We’ll see…” Kurt said teasingly.

Kurt’s phone started ringing off the hook. He felt sick with dread as he looked over to his phone and saw Blaine’s contact photo light up his screen.

He swallowed and shut his eyes. He just couldn’t do this back and forth with Blaine anymore. He couldn’t keep being friends with him if he was going to pull shit like he had last night and keep stringing Kurt along.

He still wanted Blaine in his life, either as a friend or boyfriend, but this awful in-between thing hurt too much for Kurt to continue. 

“Who is it?” Sebastain asked, voice still hoarse and dehydrated from the night before.

After a deep breath, Kurt clicked the sleep button on his phone.

“Nobody.”

* * *

Blaine was picking up his Physics book from his locker the next monday at school, wondering how on earth a hangover could last through an entire weekend. He turned around to start the arduous walk to his science class and was met with the unexpected sight of Puck.

He jumped slightly, startled by his friend’s presence. “Jesus Christ.”

Puck didn’t verbally respond right away, just threw his arms around a very taken aback Blaine in a surprisingly tight hug.

“Um… hi?” Blaine questioned the strange interaction.

“My dad was an alcoholic, too,” Blaine’s heart dropped when he heard Puck’s response. He froze for a moment before feeling his heart start to race in mild panic. “He never hit me or anything like that, but he was never really there. It sucked.”

Blaine finally pulled away, looking at his friend with wide eyes. “How…” he asked quietly. “How did you find out about my dad?”

Puck furrowed his eyebrows together. “You told me?”

“I did?”

“Yeah.” Puck nodded. “At Rachel’s party. You got hella drunk so Finn and I took you home and you told us about your dad. Finn said not to bring it up because you probably wouldn’t remember and like, if you wanted us to know you would’ve told us when you were sober.”

Blaine buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump that out on you guys. God, this is… this is so fucking embarrassing.”

Puck clapped a hand on his shoulder. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Our dads sucked. They sucked major balls—not that ball sucking is something to be ashamed of if that’s what you're into—and that’s why you and I will never be like them, you hear me? We’re better than that. I need you to know that. You’re one of the good guys. And if you’re not, I don’t know the hell that makes me.“

Blaine swallowed back the lump in his throat and wrapped his arms around Puck one more time. “Thanks, Noah.”

“No problem, dude. Now, get off me before people think we’re dating.”

Blaine pulled back and rolled his eyes. “Oh, you should be so lucky.”

“Well, you don’t remember half of Saturday night, so maybe you  _ did _ make a move on me.”

He burst out laughing. “In your dreams. Even my drunk self knows better than to pursue you.”

Puck laughed and clapped a hand on Blaine’s shoulder as they headed to the choir room.

Blaine’s phone buzzed and he quickly whipped it out, hoping to see Kurt’s contact picture. But it was just a rehearsal reminder from Rachel.

Kurt hadn’t answered any of Blaine’s calls that weekend. Maybe he should try texting him instead.

But Kurt never really responded. Not when Blaine filled him in on the disaster of the Alcohol Awareness Week assembly they had a few days later, and not when he tried to tell Kurt about the absurd  _ no-drinking until they were twenty one _ contract Mr. Shue made them sign.

Blaine had no idea why Kurt wasn’t responding, but he sure as hell needed to find out.


	13. Sexy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the biggest of all shoutouts to my beta Adri who my dudes, just... All i can say is that this and the next few chapters hurt THAT MUCH MORE BC OF zTHE WAY HER BRAIN WORKS SO
> 
> have fun!

“The Celibacy Club will now come to order,” Mrs. Pillsbury said while banging a gavel against the table. “Let’s start the meeting by reading the minutes from last week’s meeting, where we… read the minutes from the previous meeting, and Rachel spent the hour quizzing Quinn about her interest in Finn.”

“Questions somebody still refuses to answer.” Rachel glared across the room at the blonde.

Quinn just groaned and threw her head back. “Because there is no interest. It was a mistake and I already apologized. All I can say is that I rejoined the Celibacy Club to focus on me and strengthen my relationship with Sam.”

Blaine looked over at Sam, who gave a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m… super stoked to be here.”

Quinn had confided in Blaine that she wanted to recommit to chastity in the wake of her recent revelations regarding her sexuality. She thought taking a little break from being intimate with Sam would help clear things up.

Blaine was here because… well, because his two closest friends were here and he had nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon, so why not get a little entertainment? It’s not like he was necessarily missing out on anything in that department anyways.

“Me, too,” Rachel replied, making a big point to grab Finn’s hand.

Blaine rolled his eyes.

“Yes,” the teacher continued. “I am pleased at the turnout, with such a mixed bag of sexual histories! Some of us—I mean, you!” she corrected herself. “Some of  _ you _ are virgins—”

Sam clapped a hand on Blaine’s back. “Nothing to be ashamed of, dude.”

Blaine felt like the human embodiment of a question mark. “I didn’t say it was?” 

“And some of you have decided to give celibacy the old college try… again. And, I have to say, I am very inspired that all of you are showing how celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren’t ready for intimacy… And for those who are older and are terrified of the hose monster.” 

Blaine shook his head quickly. Did she really just say  _ that _ ? In front of five students? And why was he the only one who ever seemed to catch these sorts of things?

“I have a little bit of club swag here that I think is really going to catch on. Ready? Chastity charms. We hand out the little hearts, but not the key. That way, nobody can open the lock forever. And, ladies and gentleboys, that’s what keeps us safe!”

Rachel, of all people, cleared her throat. “I, um… have some questions. Some things that I-I’m curious about,” she declared. Finn slowly turned his head to her with wide eyes.

“No, no, no. Why be curious?” Mrs. Pillsbury asked, her hysterics growing by the syllable. “No. Wait to have relations until you’re comfortable. Right? Maybe till your honeymoon. I don’t know, maybe even later. Celibacy, kids! Dig it!”

With that mess of a meeting adjourned, Blaine headed outside to his car. He whipped out his phone and went to the message thread with Kurt’s contact photo, ignoring the nagging voice in his head telling him he was wasting his time. 

_ Kurt hasn’t responded to a single text all week, what makes you think he’ll start now? _

He silenced the voice and tried anyway. He was nothing if not persistent. 

**New Message:** **  
** **To: Kurt <3** **  
** **I just got out of THE most ridiculous Celibacy Club meeting.**

**And before you ask, yes, I am in the Celibacy Club now. Not entirely sure how it happened. You know how things work at McKinley.**

Blaine was already home when he thought to check his phone for a response.

Nothing yet.

Once again, Blaine ignored the foreboding feeling in his stomach and told himself that Kurt was probably just busy.

* * *

“Sexy.”

Mr. Shue had scrawled the word on the board and underlined it before saying it in a low voice. Alarms immediately started going off in Blaine’s head. Why on  _ Earth _ did Mr. Shue think this was the first thing they wanted to hear when they walked in for glee rehearsal? 

“I really hope that’s not one of the requirements for Regionals, because with Berry in those tights, we don’t stand a chance,” said Santana.

“No, this isn’t about Regionals. I’m less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it’s become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the…the, uh…the intricacies of adult relationships.”

There were scattered snickers across the room. 

“This is because Finn thought cucumbers could give you aids, isn’t it?” Blaine mumbled.

“Along with preparing for our Regionals next week, I want to spend the week educating ourselves about some of these intricacies.”

“Is this the appropriate forum for that?” Blaine asked. He wasn’t trying to be a prude, but certainly there were other people better equipped to handle this type of lesson than the man who constantly over shared the events of his love life with twelve teenagers, and rapped too often to be normal.

“Look, whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it’s always helped us to sing about it.” 

Blaine shrugged.  _ Fair enough,  _ he supposed.

“So, this week I have invited a special guest: Ms. Holliday!”

The substitute strutted into the room and was welcomed with enthusiastic applause. Ms. Holliday was currently subbing for the Health teacher, so Blaine figured she was better suited for this task than Mr. Shue was. Thank  _ God. _

“Hola, clase,” she said with that confident smile of hers.

“Oh no, it’s the salad lady,” Mercedes mumbled, hiding her face in her sheet music.

“Okay, so: sex,” Ms. Holiday began. “It’s just like hugging, only  _ wetter _ .”

“Yeah it is,” Artie agreed, throwing his hand up in approval.

“Okay, so let’s start with the basics,” she continued. “Finn, is it true that you thought you got your ex-girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?”

“I have always been dubious,” the quarterback replied.

“And, Brittany, you think that storks bring babies?”

“I get my information from  _ Woody Woodpecker _ cartoons.”

“Well, that’s all going to end right here, right now. Because, today, we are going to get under the covers, all together, and get the ditty on the dirty.”

“I’m so turned on right now,” Puck said. Blaine shot him a confused and mildly grossed out look.

“Ah, what about those of us who choose to remain celibate?” Rachel asked.

“Oh, well, I admire you. Although I think you’re naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice.”

“Uh, I think this is a good time for a song,” Mr. Shue prompted her.

“Oh! Yes, okay. Rule number one: every intimate encounter that you’re ever going to have in your life is going to start with a touch. Hit it!”

Ms. Holiday proceeded to sing and dance to  _ Do You Wanna Touch? _ , somehow getting the entire Glee Club involved in the process.

When it was over, she took her place back in the center of the room.

“So just remember, whenever you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with everyone they’ve ever had sex with. And  _ everybody’s _ got a random.”

* * *

“Don’t you think it’s time for the Warblers to do a Joan Armatrading medley?” Kurt asked as he and Sebastian moved up a place in line at the Lima Bean.

“Um, I’m not so sure people know who that is,” Sebastian admitted.

“Well, well. If it isn’t my sweet, sweet Porcelain,” a familiar voice interrupted them.

“Coach Sylvester.” Kurt greeted her with equal parts annoyance and fondness. He didn’t even attend McKinely anymore and yet, he still couldn’t manage to escape her wild antics.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Isn’t that your old batshit crazy cheerleading coach who tried to shoot your friend out of a cannon?”

“Yeah…” he answered, then turned to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Just picking up some coffee. I like my enemas piping hot. Actually, boys, I heard that this was a Dalton Academy hangout, and I come in a spirit of fellowship. As you, no doubt, have heard, I’ve taken over for the coach of Aural Intensity.”

“We heard you pushed him down the stairs.”

“No, you can’t prove that.”

Kurt turned to his friend. “This is just sort of how she talks,” he explained.

“So,” she continued. ”I happen to have some top secret intel. Will Shuester has finally realized that his team’s Achilles Heel is their utter lack of sex appeal. The New Directions are getting sexy. And the key to Regionals is out-sexing them. And I suspect that the judges are scoring extra for it this year. So, Porcelain. Quid pro quo. What do you have for me?”

“I’m sorry, Coach, but you and I are not in cahoots,” Kurt explained.

“Probably should have nailed that down before I gave you my top secret intel. Porcelain, you just made a powerful enema.”

She took her coffee and stomped out of the Lima Bean, leaving Kurt and Sebastain alone.

“We gotta hold an emergency meeting.”

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Weren’t you listening? The Regionals judges are tired of these rag-tag, plain jane, boring vanilla numbers. Which means… the Warblers are going to have to tap into their  _ sexual _ side.”

Kurt’s stomach dropped when he noticed Sebastain’s excited smirk. This wasn’t going to go well… at least, not for him.

* * *

_ “Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Kurt Elizabeth Hum—” _

It was times like these that Blaine wished he had an old fashioned flip phone so he could dramatically slam it closed instead of just pitifully pressing the touch-screen end button.

He had been trying to call Kurt for days, with no response, and every time Blaine tried texting him he only received dry and short replies (if he even got one)—a slew of “Ha”s, “Okay”s, and “Cool”s that only agitated the wasp hive buzzing in his stomach.

He let out a frustrated groan. More than anything, he needed to see Kurt—needed to know that he was okay.

So he gathered up any remaining courage and typed a message to his ex boyfriend.

**New Message:** **  
** **To: Kurt <3** **  
** **Alright, something’s off. You’re ignoring my calls and avoiding my texts. What’s up?**

He pressed the send button before he could chicken out and almost instinctively typed out a new one.

**I love you.**

Deletedeletedeletedelete.

**I miss you.**

Select all, backspace. 

He sighed before deciding on:

**Can we get coffee?**

His pulse quickened when he saw the three bubbles that indicated Kurt was typing on the other side. Soon enough, he deflated when they went away without any message to take their place. Then, he cocked his head in confusion as they came up and disappeared a few times.

Finally, he got a response.

**New Message:** **  
** **From: Kurt <3** **  
** _ Sure. Lima Bean, 4pm? _

**Works for me, see you then 😊**

He didn’t get a response after that.

* * *

Kurt felt a vibrating sensation from his pocket and dug out his phone to see a message from Blaine. Of course it was Blaine. Of fucking course.

**New Message:** **  
** **From: Blaine** **  
** **Alright, something’s off. You’re ignoring my calls and avoiding my texts. What’s up?**

**Can we get coffee?**

Kurt immediately started seething, furiously typing out a heated response.

_ What’s up? WHATS UP!? You mean besides the fact that you destroyed my heart and then stuck your tongue down my throat last week when I showed up to a party with another guy? _

His thumb hovered over the send button for a moment before changing its course and holding the backspace button.

_ What’s up is that I’m still in love with you and you’re just stringing me along like that fucking action figure from the beginning of Napoleon Dynamite. You know, the one he throws out the bus window? What’s up is that I keep letting you because having these fucked up remnants of our relationship is better than not having you at all. _

Kurt threw his head back and groaned, knowing very well he couldn’t send that to Blaine. With a huff, he sent the final, acceptable, draft of his message.

_ Sure. Lima Bean, 4pm? _

This was something that needed to be discussed in person, anyways.

He shook his head, as if that might get him to stop thinking about his ex, and headed down the hall towards Warbler rehearsals.

_ Sexy… _ Kurt thought.  _ What’s sexy? Growling? Like a cat or something? Girls always dress up as cats for Halloween to be sexy—shit,  _ purring.  _ I’m thinking of purring. _

_ Do I need to fucking purr? _

“You look excited.” Sebastian’s comment—and sudden presence by his side—on his grim countenance broke him out of his thoughts. 

“It’s just… Do we  _ have _ to do this?” Kurt pleaded. “Relying on our sexual appeal instead of our talent? I mean, it seems kind of cheap, doesn’t it?”

“Feel guilty about crushing the competition?” Sebastian asked. 

“Hardy har, you’re hilarious,” Kurt trenchantly remarked.

The green eyed boy looked back at him with confusion. “Kurt… You know I’m not kidding, right?”

He only gave back a vacant expression.

“You know you’re like, really hot, right?”

At that, Kurt sputtered out a laugh. He knew he wasn’t hideous—he better not be, with the amount of time he spends on his skin and choosing his outfits. Attractive, maybe. But hot? 

Kurt Hummel would definitely not describe himself as hot.

Images of what hot really was started to come into his mind before he could stop them. Hot was… Blaine pulling off his helmet after football practice and shucking it to the side, curls a mess and a blissed out smile on his face. Hot was the way Blaine’s shirt would ruck up just enough to expose some of the olive skin on his stomach when he reached across Kurt’s bed for a pen from the night stand. Hot was the way Blaine had all but thrown him on his couch when Kurt had gotten back from the long two weeks he’d spent visiting his aunt over the summer.

“See, that right there,” Sebastian’s voice yanked him back to reality. “That look on your face right there is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.”

“What?” Kurt blinked a couple of times, being brought back to reality.

“The aloof, lost in deep thought thing really works for you.” The green-eyed boy took a step closer to Kurt. “If you use that face, the New Directions and Aural Intensity don’t even stand a chance. Why don’t you give it another shot?”

“I really can’t—”

“Just try.”

Kurt took a deep breath and put on his best ‘sexy’ face, feeling his countenance contort into a sort of weird looking grimace.

“God no,” Sebastian breathed. “Those look like gas pains.”

“Great,” Kurt huffed. “You can just hide me in the back of the group, then.”

“We’ll figure something out.”

* * *

Kurt walked into the Lima Bean with his lips in a taut line, hugging his messenger bag a little closer than usual, and his shoulders just a bit stiffer than normal. He refused to make eye contact with Blaine as he pulled a chair out and slumped down on it.

Finally, he looked up. “You wanted to talk?” Kurt asked in a huff. 

“Yeah…” Blaine answered cautiously, trailing off.

Kurt glared at him expectantly. “Well, talk.” He figured they might as well get straight to whatever half-assed excuse Blaine was about to give him.

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, more than a little thrown off by Kurt’s attitude. “I’m sorry, did—did I do something to piss you off?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

Blaine just gave back an empty stare.

“You don’t remember Rachel’s party... when we…?” 

“Spin the bottle?” Blaine finished for him. “Of course I do. I–I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable about it…”

That’s when it clicked. Kurt should have realized sooner. Blaine clearly didn’t remember kissing him on Saturday.

He was simultaneously relieved and disappointed. A part of him had hoped Blaine would admit to still having feelings for him—real feelings, and not… whatever the hell last week was. But at the same time, it was sort of a blessing in disguise. 

If Blaine didn’t even remember it happening, he could just pretend to do the same. It was just another fluke—another complication in their friendship they certainly didn’t need. Kurt could ignore it. He could be friends with Blaine. Because then what was the alternative? Obviously not getting back together.

“No…” Kurt finally said. His shoulders slumped and he wasn’t sure if it was from relief or disappointment. “No, it’s… it’s nothing, sorry. I’ve just been super stressed with school. And… There’s something I never told you about… me and Sebastian,” Kurt admitted. “I felt weird about it because we had just started talking again.” He swallowed, looking Blaine right in the eyes. “But now there’s nothing to feel weird about because you and I are…”  _ over _ “friends.”

Kurt would have sworn he saw the same disappointment he felt not a moment ago reflected back in Blaine’s amber eyes. But he supposed he must have been wrong when Blaine said, “You know you can tell me anything, Kurt.”

“Well… uh, last week. He sort of asked me out on Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh…” Blaine said. He paused. “Can I just—can I be honest with you for a moment, Kurt?” He took Kurt’s raised eyebrows as a cue to continue. “I don’t think… I think you can do better than Sebastian.”

“Luckily, that's not for you to decide.” Kurt scoffed in disbelief, aiming for firm, but knowing it came out more along the lines of harsh. “If we’re going to be friends, we have to set up boundaries. I can date whoever I please, whether or not you like them.”

“You’re  _ dating _ Sebastian?” 

“No, I… nothing’s official…” He liked Sebastian, liked kissing him, hanging out with him, talking to him. They got along just fine... he was just  _ fine _ . He shrugged, trying to stay focused on the conversation at hand. “But full disclosure… we have uh, kissed a couple of times. At Rachel’s party.”

Kurt couldn’t tell if Blaine’s face looked disappointed or it was the last of his wishful thinking.

“Just kissing…?” Blaine pried.

Kurt felt his face heat up at the subject matter. “Not that it’s any of your business,” he started hotly. “But if you must know… Sebastian is… definitely more experienced in that department, but I’m not—you know better than anyone that I’m not ready for things to go further.”

Blaine narrowed his eyes. “He’s not pressuring you to, is he?”

“Oh my god!  _ No _ , Blaine.” Kurt took a long sip from his coffee, trying to hide the pink on his face. “Can we please change the subject? What’s happening over back with the glee club?”

Kurt didn’t miss the concerned frown on Blaine’s face before he shrugged and said, “We’re having a week on Sex Education.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, really?”

“Yeah. Brittany thought she was pregnant because a stork started building a nest outside her window, so Mr. Shue asked Ms. Holiday to come in and give a lesson on Sex Ed. I feel like she might try to give another condom demonstration—”

It was at this time that Kurt’s face turned the same color of a lobster. He brought his fingers up and plugged them into his ears and started humming the first song he could think of, which was unfortunately the Bingo Song.

Blaine’s jaw dropped. “Kurt, are you serious right now?”

“I can’t hear you,” he sing-sang back in reply. _ B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-o! _

Blaine reached over and pulled Kurt’s hands down, holding them in his own, much to Kurt’s annoyance. Kurt would have snatched his hands right back out of Blaine’s, but had forgotten how much he’d missed even just holding them. “Look, you’re right,” he said. “You can… date whoever you want. But you need to be educated, Kurt. Especially if Sebastian is… more experienced, as you put it.”

“Or I could just wait until I’m forty and cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“That’s not a viable option, Kurt!” Blaine cried in frustration. “I remember how… eager we got during the summer. You’re going to have urges, just like you did then—”

“Oh my god, please stop talking, we are in  _ public.” _

“And I know we—we stopped, but… if one day you don’t, you should know exactly what you’re getting into. What to  _ do—” _

“I mean, I always thought you’d be there to guide me through it, but clearly I don’t have to worry about that now,” Kurt blurted before he could stop himself. He clapped a hand to his mouth as soon as the words left it.

Oh, god. He just said that. He just said that in front of Blaine. He just said that in front of Blaine, who was now gaping back at him, open mouthed and wide eyed and Kurt couldn’t even blame him because he just  _ said  _ **_that_ ** _ in front of Blaine. _

Somehow, this was so much worse than Madonna Week.

He pulled up his bag and clutched it close to his chest before standing up. “I have to go, Warblers rehearsal.” It was a lie, and Blaine probably knew that, but Kurt was sure that if he stayed there for one second longer, he would immediately disintegrate through sheer force of embarrassment.

So before Blaine could stop him, he headed out the door, ignoring his ex’s cries of protest behind him.

* * *

**_The landslide will bring you down…_ **

Brittany looked over to the stool Santana was sitting on, a little teary-eyed. “Is that really how you feel?”

He was shocked to see Santana actually  _ crying. _ “Uh huh, yeah,” she admitted quietly. 

Santana rose from her chair to go give Brittany a big hug, while Artie looked on uncomfortably from the front of the risers.

“Thank you.”

The tender moment was broken by Rachel, and Blaine rolled his eyes. She could stand to take a word of advice from Billy Joel. “Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava, brava.”

Santana wiped her face and in an instant was back to her usual prickly self, not that Blaine blamed her. “Look, just because I sang a song with Brittany doesn’t mean that you can put a label on me. Is that clear?”

The bell rang and they exited the choir room. Blaine kept sneaking concerned glances to Quinn, who was staring head on at the tiles beneath their feet, eyes never wavering and lost in thought.

“So…” Blaine finally broke the silence. “That was really brave of Santana, don’t you think?”

Quinn just hummed in agreement, eyes fixed downward.

“Okay, please say something, Q. I need to know what’s going on in that mind of yours.”

She finally looked up at him, eyelashes fluttering as she blinked. “I’m just thinking how Santana just did that—telling everyone in the room how she felt about Brittany—and… the world didn’t implode, ya know?”

“Are you thinking about telling Sam?”

“What!? No. Absolutely not I… can’t. Not yet,” she insisted. “I already screwed up with kissing Finn, I don’t want to lose him by admitting that I might like Finn’s girlfriend, too. Which, isn’t even like, a crush, so much as it is an attraction? And somehow, that’s so much worse.” She pouted. “I could literally have anybody in this school, but I’m maybe-possibly-curious for her?”

Blaine shrugged. “I mean, you could do worse.”

“How?”

“Suzy Pepper?”

“Good point.”

Blaine checked his watch. The Tire and Lube shop was about to close, but if he hurried, he could still catch Burt before he left. 

He clapped Quinn on the back. “I gotta go,” he said. “Important appointment.”

* * *

“Hey there, Burt,” Blaine said. He had practiced his greeting about ten times in his head before getting out of the car, only having to correct himself from saying  _ Mr. Hummel  _ about six times instead of the usual twenty.

Burt looked up from the car he was working on. Blaine wasn’t sure what to expect, but he hadn't seen Burt since the break up, and hoped he wouldn’t be too cold with Blaine. He didn’t know if he could take it.

Much to his relief, Burt smiled widely and enveloped Blaine in a hug, patting his back. “Good to see you again, kiddo. You looking for Finn?”

“Actually, I was looking for you.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “That so?”

Blaine swallowed and nodded. “Have you um… ever talked to Kurt about sex?”

Burt threw up his hands in defeat and started towards the open hood of a car he was working on. “I uh, that’s um… not really my area of expertise. Besides, isn’t that what he’s got you for? You’re friends again, aren’t ya?”

“That’s kind of my point. We had one conversation about sex.” Blaine saw Burt pale at even the mention of the word.  _ Like father, like son _ . “Back before we were dating, and he quite literally ran out of the room. And I tried again earlier this week, but he won’t listen to anything I have to say.”

“Well, when he’s ready, he’ll listen.”

“I think it might already be too late,” Blaine said.

“What do you mean?”

“I uh, I know you and Kurt are fairly close, so I assume he’s told you about Sebastian?”

Burt nodded. “Not much, just that he’s the leader of the Warblers.”

“He’s also taken a very… keen romantic interest in Kurt.” 

Burt stiffened. “Huh,” he mumbled with a troubled look on his face. “Kurt didn’t mention he was gay… said they were just friends.”

“Maybe for now… And as far as I know,” Blaine continued. “Dalton doesn’t have Sex-Ed classes. Most schools don’t. And the ones that do almost never discuss what sex is like for gay kids. I was lucky enough to have a mom who did her research on this subject pretty much the day I came out to her. But if you don’t talk to Kurt, he won’t go looking for it. 

“I’d talk to Kurt if I could, but he thinks my opinion of Sebastian is a little biased. And maybe it is… I also happen to know Kurt is… not so experienced and I don’t want someone like Sebastian taking advantage of that. And from what Kurt’s told me, Sebastian knows exactly what he’s doing. And one day, he’ll be at a party and maybe have a few drinks, and he’ll meet some guy and start fooling around, and he’s not going to know about using protection or STDs…”

Burt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, facing Blaine once more. “Do you know how bad it looks that my son's ex is here to convince me to give him the sex talk?" 

"With all due respect, I don't care how it looks, Burt... all I care about is that Kurt doesn't get hurt.”

Burt studied him for a moment. "You still love him.” He said it simply, less of a question than a resigned declaration.

Blaine swallowed, tried his best to keep his eyes from clouding with pain, to keep from saying,  _ I always will. _ Instead, he said, “Just… think about it. Sorry if I’m overstepping.”

Burt gave him a sort of half-smile. “Overstepping is kind of your thing… I’ll see you around, Blaine.”

With a relieved sigh, Blaine nodded and turned to leave the garage, while Burt went back to working on the car.

* * *

“You wanted to see me?” Kurt asked, leaning against the doorframe of Sebastain’s dorm room.

Sebastian immediately beamed up at him from his computer chair. “Yeah! I thought of something that might give us a leg up for the whole sexy thing for Regionals.”

Kurt threw his head back. “Oh god, why is everyone and their mother trying to get me involved in this sex thing.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. 

“That—that didn’t come out quite right.”

“I could make so many comments about that, but in the interest of time, I’ll let it go.”

Kurt rolled his eyes.

“Anyways, so I found this song—”

“I’m about to be serenaded again, aren't I?”

“Yes, but it’s for a good cause.” 

Kurt stifled a laugh. He was comfortable enough around the head Warbler, and in terms of friends, he could have done a lot worse. Like freshman year, when he didn’t have any.

Sebastian gestured for him to come closer. He did.

“I think your problem is you think about things too much, Kurt. I want you to be uninhibited. So just… turn your brain off.” He reached over and pressed the play button on his computer. “And react.”

The  [ music ](https://youtu.be/ncSwBduXiBE) started and Sebastian abruptly pulled Kurt close to him before singing the words  _ to  _ him.

Okay. He definitely didn’t see  _ this  _ coming.

**_You and me and all that wild_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Losing my collar damn its fly_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Every guy that passes by_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Look at her look at her oh_ **

**_And you say that it's not right_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But where does he think you are tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Does he know your nasty side_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Look at her look at her oh_ **

Kurt felt his cheeks flush as Sebastian released him to take the song to a more performative level, definitely getting more… in character. At least this time there wasn’t half of the school staring at them.

**_If you want me, take me home and let me use you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I know he doesn't satisfy you like I do_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And does he know that there's nobody quite like you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So let me tell you all the things he never told you_ **

**_I got these feelings for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I can't help myself no more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can't fight these feelings for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No I can't help myself no more_ **

On the bridge, the lead Warbler made his way back towards Kurt, who was still standing by Sebatsian’s bed, not entirely sure what was happening. He kept coming until he was standing in front of Kurt, leaning over him and gently sweeping back a loose strand of Kurt’s hair that had fallen to his forehead. 

**_No I can't wait much longer_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It needs to happen now_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Cause I can't spend the rest of my life chasing you around_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I want to get much closer_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You need to tell me how_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Baby how how_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Because I_ **

Kurt’s heart thrummed in his chest and god he was sure he was red as a tomato right now and looked like a flustered fool, but he was still just a teenage boy and Sebastian’s body was flush against his, solid and radiating heat and it… felt good. 

After being suddenly rejected by someone he once thought was the love of his life, it was nice to feel  _ wanted  _ by someone. Even though he was pretty certain Sebastian only wanted him in a certain way he was  _ so  _ not ready for yet.

**_I got these feelings for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I can't help myself no more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can't fight these feelings for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No I can't help myself no more_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I got these feelings for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I got this feeling for you got this feeling for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Can't fight these feelings for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No I can't help myself no more_ **

As the song ended, Sebastian sank down on the edge of the bed and pulled Kurt on top of his body, so that the slightly shorter boy straddled him. He reached up to cup Kurt’s cheek and pulled their lips together for a kiss.

Kurt was a little startled by the action, but reminded himself to heed Sebastian's advice and turn off his brain. No, it wasn’t Blaine, but it was still another boy who was nice and attractive and shared some common interests with Kurt.

And it certainly wasn’t  _ unpleasant.  _

But Kurt still didn’t feel the spark of desire forming in the pit of his stomach the way he did when he kissed Blaine. It had even been there the other night, at Rachel’s party, as much as he hated to admit it. There was no buzzing underneath the skin where his met Sebastain’s and—Jesus, was Kurt really so pathetically in love with Blaine that he couldn’t stop thinking about him even when he was kissing someone else?

He just wanted it to  _ end.  _ The longing for things to be the way they were back then, the pain every time he saw Blaine with the New Directions. 

Sebastian finally pulled away. “I picked this song because I thought you should, um, know that I  _ do _ have feelings for you.”

Kurt jerked his head back in surprise. He knew Sebastian was attracted to him, he’d made that much very clear. He just didn’t take him for the feeling-having type. 

“A-and not just the usual  _ want to sleep with you _ feelings. Like… real, romantic feelings… I’ve never tried the whole… going steady thing. But I really, really like you, Kurt.” He reached down and interlocked Kurt’s fingers with his own. “I want to give this a shot, if you’re ready.”

Kurt’s stomach flip flopped with uncertainty. He wasn’t sure he was ready to completely close the door for any opportunity with his ex, but he also couldn’t wait around for Blaine to change his mind because he might be waiting forever. Sebastian was here, and happy to have Kurt, and nice and attractive and not Blaine, but Blaine didn’t want him and this might just be the first step in finally moving on. 

He couldn’t have Blaine back, and he wasn’t going back to McKinley anytime soon—maybe ever. He had to stop playing this waiting game of things going back to normal because, he realized, that  _ this _ might be the new normal. Dalton, Nick, Jeff… Sebastian.

And if he just rolled with it, maybe he could forget how good the old normal was. McKinley, Mercedes, Rachel… he dared not to even think of the last comparison. 

For the first time since the transfer, the reality sank in for Kurt that this might not be a temporary fix. He needed to lean into this situation, because it may very well be permanent.

Kurt knew he was accepting this for all the wrong reasons, choosing to be with a person to forget about somebody else, but at this point, he didn’t care. He liked Sebastian well enough, and Sebastian liked him. It could work.

“Okay.” He reached out and placed a hand on the back of Sebastian’s neck, tugging to pull them together again.

He could be just as happy with Sebastian as he was with Blaine. If he kept telling himself that, he just might start to believe it, too.

* * *

**_Afternoon delight!_ **

When the Celibacy club was finished with their performance, Brittany stood up and began enthusiastically clapping.

The five members of the Club and Ms. Pillsbury stood on the stage. Finn had been on drums, Sam on guitar, and everyone else on vocals. 

“Hi! Um, Holly here. So, I’m a little confused. Isn’t this a strange song for the Celibacy Club to sing?”

“What, why?” Ms. Pillsbury asked. “It’s so wholesome. It was written during the Bicentennial to celebrate America and fireworks, and—”

“No, it’s about sneaking out for a nooner.”

Sam turned to Blaine, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I thought it might be, but I wasn’t sure if I was just looking too deep into things.”

“What the fuck is a nooner?” Blaine mumbled back to him, away from the mic.

“Yes, exactly!” their red-headed sponsor continued, addressing Mr. Shue. “A nooner is when you have dessert in the middle of the day, right?”

The entire glee club, Mr. Shue, and Ms. Holiday all looked back at them with uncomfortable expressions. It was then that Blaine realized what this song was  _ really _ about.

“Well, regardless, great job, guys,” Mr. Shue said. “Great number.”

“It was fantastic,” Holly added.

As they headed off the stage, Blaine turned to Quinn. “Did you know what that song was about?” he asked, still baffled by the turn of events. 

She snorted. “Yeah, but I figured it’d make a great story one day.”

* * *

Kurt was sitting at the dining room table when a hand slapped a few pieces of paper in front of him. His stomach dropped when he read the titles. 

_ Young and Gay—What You Need to Know About Sex _ _   
_ _ 50 Things You Should Know About HIV and Safer Sex _ _   
_ _ Safe Sex for LGBT Youth _

“What are those?” he asked in horror.

“Those are some pamphlets that I picked up from the free clinic. I thought it might help the process along, because it is time that you and I had  _ the talk…” _

Kurt looked up at his dad, absolutely appalled. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. This is long overdue, you started dating almost a year ago—”

Kurt abruptly rose from his seat and stuffed his fingers in his ears, singing the same song he’d had to when he blocked out Blaine earlier that week.

“Hey, you think this is easy for me?” his dad asked, pulling Kurt’s hands out of his ears. 

“Believe me, I want to do this even less than you do. It’s going to suck for both of us,” he added, sitting Kurt back down in his chair. “But we’re going to get through it together, and we’re both gonna be better men because of it. Now, first, most of the, uh, mechanics of what you’re gonna be doing is covered in the pamphlets, okay, so, I want you to read them. And then I want you to come talk to me about it. Deal?”

“Okay…”

“All right, now. Hey, sit down! We’re just getting started.” Burt gestured at the chair Kurt was trying to get out of, and his son begrudgingly sat back down. “Okay… before we start, I just want to know… is there anyone special in your life that I should know about?”

Kurt swallowed, feeling his cheeks burn. “It’s… um, yeah,” he reluctantly admitted. It had barely been a day, how did his dad already have a hunch? “Sebastian—he asked me to be his boyfriend the other day. I… said yes.”

Burt nodded. “Alright… Thanks for telling me. Now, for most guys, sex is just, you know, this thing we always want to do. It’s fun, feels great, but we’re not really thinking too much about how it makes us feel on the inside, or, you know, how the other person feels about it.”

“Women are different?” Kurt asked, a little surprised at himself for actually asking.

“Only because they get that it’s about something more than just the physical. You know, when you’re intimate with somebody, in that way, you’re exposing yourself. You’re never going to be more vulnerable, and that scares the hell out of a lot of guys. Believe me, I can’t tell you how many buddies I’ve got who have gotten in way too deep with a girl who said she was cool with just hooking up.”

“But that’s not going to happen to  _ me, _ Dad,” Kurt pointed out.

“No, it’s going to be worse, okay, because it’s two guys. With two guys, you’ve got two people who think that sex is just sex. It’s gonna be easier to come by, and once you start doing this stuff you’re not gonna want to stop. You just, you gotta know that it means something. You know. It’s doing something – to you, to your heart, to your self esteem. Even though it feels like you’re just having fun.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t have sex?”

“I think on your 30th birthday it is a great gift to yourself. Kurt, when you’re ready, I want you to be able to… do everything. But when you’re ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don’t throw yourself around, like you don’t matter. ‘Cause you matter, Kurt.”

“Is that it?”

“That’s it, for now. Can I make you some toast?”

“I think I’ll take it up to my room to eat while I look over my new pamphlets. Thank you, Dad.”

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

This time, Kurt was the first one at the table, waiting for Blaine to show up and having already ordered their drinks. He thought it best that Blaine heard the news of his new… boyfriend ( _ Wow, that’s weird. _ ) from Kurt himself, rather than through the grapevine. So he messaged his ex to meet him at the Lima Bean.

Finally, Blaine came through the doors, smiling at the sight of Kurt. “Hey,” he greeted him.

“Hey,” Kurt said, hoping his smile was sufficient. “I got you coffee.”

Blaine gave him a gentle smile. “Thank you, I appreciate that.” He took a seat at the table and unpeeled his scarf from his neck, warming his hands around the paper cup of coffee.

“So, I have some news,” Kurt started.

Blaine nodded and waited in polite silence.

Kurt pursed his lips, wringing his hands together and jittering his leg up and down. “But uhhhh, before we get to that, I have to tell you, the most  _ mortifying _ thing happened. My dad pulled me aside and gave me the sex talk.” 

Blaine cocked his head in confusion. If Kurt was telling him about his dad now, then what was the big news? “I mean, that’s good, right?”

“I suppose. I obviously appreciated the effort he went through, as well as the final sentiment he left me with. But it was definitely some embarrassment I didn’t need. He had  _ pamphlets,  _ Blaine. With pictures and everything.”

“I’m not trying to one-up you or anything, but my mom had a PowerPoint presentation. Believe me, I feel your pain.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Okay, but your mom is amazing. I bet it was a killer presentation.”

“It really was, I have to admit that much. She’s nothing if not thorough… but your dad is great, too. It’s really awesome that he had that conversation with you.”

“Obviously, I’m grateful for it now, but… It was—I don’t have to tell  _ you _ how awkward that was for me.”

“Yeah,” Blaine laughed, taking a sip from his cup. “I warned him that you weren’t comfortable with this subject.”

“Wait, what?” Kurt cocked his head to the side. “When did you see my dad?”

Blaine felt the blood drain from his face. “I um… Just stopped by the shop to say hi earlier in the week.”

“Is that a regular thing you do?” Kurt asked, failing to hide the mildly accusatory tone in his voice. 

“No,” Blaine defended.

“So… out of the blue, you decided to pay my dad a visit?”

“No, I just—” Blaine sighed, cutting himself off. He never was the best liar. “After the conversation you and I had the other day, I knew you wouldn’t listen to me, so I… asked your dad for backup. Just in case things happened with Sebastian…”

“Let me get this straight,” Kurt started in that faux-calm way Blaine knew meant there was only a storm of rage just beneath the surface. “You… went to my dad’s—your  _ ex-boyfriend’s _ dad’s place of work… told him that you didn’t trust Sebastian… then told him to give me the sex talk?” Kurt asked, voice rising in pitch and volume with seemingly every syllable. “You thought that was an  _ appropriate _ thing to do?”

Blaine could feel himself floundering like a fish out of water. “I-I-I didn’t want you to… to get hurt, or make some mistakes that you’d regret—”

Kurt pressed his palm into his eyes in frustration, before slamming it onto the table. “God, make up your fucking mind, Blaine! Do you love me, or not?”

Blaine opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He’d seen Kurt angry before, but this was a new level of frustration he’d never witnessed.

“Because one day you’re telling me you don’t love me, then you’re saying you want to be friends, then you’re fucking _kissing_ me and saying you don’t want me to get hurt and I _can’t_ _take it anymore.”_

Blaine gaped at him, not quite understanding what he meant. “I—Wait, the spin the bottle kiss?”

“No, you idiot!” Kurt snapped. “The kiss outside in Rachel’s backyard where I said I was still in love with you and you reached out and kissed me, then spent the rest of the night retching into a toilet!”

“Oh… oh my god…” Blaine paled and dragged a hand down his face, horrified with himself. No wonder Kurt had been so short with him. Blaine had pulled the biggest dick move in the book. He felt a dread pool in the bottom of his stomach. Of all the things he could have done… “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Exactly,” Kurt said desperately, tears welling up in his eyes. “You didn’t mean it. That kiss meant nothing to you, but it meant  _ everything _ to me.” He pulled a hand up to his face, gently rubbing his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down. “I… I can’t do this anymore, Blaine,” he said, defeated. 

_ No,  _ Blaine thought in horror, feeling the beginning of the end coming on. He could feel Kurt starting to pull away, and all he could do was stare dumbly back at him, head spinning too much for him to create a response that would explain all the shit he’s put Kurt through over the past few weeks.

“I’m sick and tired of all your back and forth. Every time I see you, it’s like, here we fucking go again! Which version of Blaine am I getting today? The one who misses holding my hand and still cares about me, or the one who broke every promise and every sense of security I ever had?”

Kurt drew in a few shaky breaths. Whether they were from anger or defeat, Blaine couldn’t tell, but he knew Kurt was dead serious when he lifted his head to meet his gaze.

“When you figure your shit out, give me a call. Until then, I’m done with your games.”

With that, Kurt abruptly stood up and left the coffee shop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: (lowkey spoilers??) OKAY SO I KNOW THE BREAKUP IS DRAGGING ON BUT I PROMISE ITS ALMOST OVER
> 
> Also you all should know that that Kurtbastian scene huRT ME A HUNDRED TIMES MORE THAN IT HURT ANY OF YOU OKAY??? 
> 
> Just as a heads up, I'm going camping on the 25th, so i won't be able to post for a few days while i'm there!
> 
> I forgot to do this last chapter so:  
> Kurtana Duet: You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissett  
> Sebastian's Solo: Feelings by Maroon Five


	14. Original Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: yes, once again i am updating early bc i am now one year older and wiser and stil absolutely an attention whore so my gift to myself this year is the rush of serotonin i get whenever i post a chapter lmao
> 
> Thanks to Adri, who does such a fantastic job Beta'ing thing story like... if u cry it's most likely her fault just sayin. i love the way her brain works
> 
> And thanks to all of y'all who are reading this story, ilysm like, it's been a long time coming and idk im emotional bc i just finished writing it the other day but like... just thank you all for still being interested in this :)
> 
> o shit i almost forgot: _Kurt_ **Blaine _Both_**

Mr. Shue walked into the choir room, holding a piece of paper and looking displeased. “Guys, I’ve got some bad news. You know how we decided on  _ Sing _ by My Chemical Romance for Regionals?” The New Directions all nodded. “Well, I hold in my hand a cease and desist letter from the band. We can’t do it.”

There were cries of protest strewn around the room. Blaine rolled his eyes back into his skull. As if this week couldn’t get any worse.

“Ugh, it was the perfect anthem!” Puck exclaimed.

“How much do you wanna bet Coach Sylvester had something to do with this?” Mercedes said.

“One step ahead of you,” their director said. “I confronted her and she admitted to blocking us.”

“So, what are we gonna do now?” Blaine asked in despair. 

“I think…we should write original songs for Regionals,” Rachel announced.

“All those in favor of voting Rachel down a second time?” Santana said nonchalantly.

“No, I think Rachel’s right,” Blaine interjected. “This team works best when we push ourselves and do something a little different. We totally killed it at sectionals, this year  _ and _ last year.”

Mercedes chimed in next. “Well, that’s true, but if all the other teams are doing amazing songs… We’re not gonna be so good.”

“You’re right, we’re not gonna be as good. We’re gonna be better,” Quinn announced. Blaine looked over at her gratefully. “We won’t be using other peoples’ words or music. It’ll be our own. Our own heart, soul, not just our voices.”

“I’m in,” Finn declared. “I mean, if Quinn and Rachel can agree on something it’s probably an idea worth considering.”

“W-wait, wait,” Santana interjected. “So, suddenly Goldielocks and the Winklevi Twins are writing the music for Regionals? No way. I think that everyone should get a chance to write a song.”

“Santana’s right, we can do this,” Sam added.

“What do you think Mr. Shue?” Mercedes finally asked.

Their director beamed up at the twelve students in front of him. “I think we’re doing original songs for Regionals.”

* * *

_ “That’s different,” Blaine refuted. “I actually love you.” _

_ Kurt’s head snapped up and his eyes grew wide, an uncontainable smile spreading on his lips. _

_ “What?” Blaine laughed, the gravity of what he’d just said lost on him. _

_ “You  _ **_love_ ** _ me?” Kurt repeated, a timid confirmation. _

_ “Oh, shit. Kurt, I am so, so sorry!” he rambled. “This is not how I wanted to say it at all—on a grimy bus in the middle of nowhere. I was gonna take you out to—” _

_ “Maybe it’s not how you wanted to say it.” Kurt cut him off. “But you did and I don’t care because I love you, too.” _

  
“Kurt… Kurt?”

Kurt was brought out of his reverie by Nick’s familiar voice. 

“What?” he asked, shaking the year-old memory from his head.

“I was asking what kind of pizza you wanted.”

He scrunched up his nose. “Anything but Rigali’s,” he voted. 

Sebastian threw a fist up in victory and rested his arm across Kurt’s shoulders. “Pizza Patrón here we come! Go ahead and put in the order, Thad.”

Kurt smiled and rested his head against Sebastian’s arm. 

He liked the Warblers. They were no New Directions, that much was certain. Though, Kurt found himself wondering whether to count that as a positive or negative. While the range of the Warblers’ choreography was limited to basic side-stepping and arm motions, there hadn’t been any pregnancy scandals involving his step brother, yet, so there was that.

He missed McKinley, but with each passing day, Kurt found it easier and easier to settle into his role as a Dalton Academy Warbler. 

After that initial fiasco with the New Directions video, Kurt had suggested a different pre-competition festivity: a sleepover in the senior commons and some bonding activities. And the rest of the Warblers just… agreed to it. There were no loud outbursts of disagreement, or someone trying to one-up him. It was as simple as a calm “All those in favor?” and twenty-four “Aye”s in response.

The point of Dalton was to fit in, not make a scene, avoid drawing attention to yourself (unless of course you were Sebastian on Valentine’s Day). Sometimes it worked wonders for the agreeability of the ensemble.

But more often than not, it made his heart ache for Mercedes’s powerhouse, one-of-a-kind vocals, Puck’s bad boy with a heart of gold antics, Mike’s self-choreographed dance moves, and yes… even Mr. Shue’s boring and repetitive lesson plans.

But Kurt wasn’t at McKinley. He was at Dalton, and he probably would be for a long time, so he’d better get used to it.

With a sigh, Kurt urged the Warblers to start off with two truths and a lie. For some ungodly reason, the Warblers assumed they would be able to guess his lies with ease.  _ Oh you poor things, _ he thought.  _ I went to public school. _

Twenty minutes in, and all the Warblers had failed to spot the lie in each of Kurt’s turns—except for Sebastian, who remembered that Sue  _ did _ in fact try to shoot his (technically) ex-girlfriend out of a cannon.

Eventually, a knock came on the door. “I’ll get it,” Kurt said, figuring it was the pizza delivery boy. “Being an enigma you all will never unravel is getting a little tiresome,” he teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeff waved a bantering hand at him. “Whatever.”

“I’ll come with,” Sebastian said happily, pressing his lips to Kurt’s cheek.

Kurt opened the door to thank the delivery boy and take the pizzas, but stopped in his tracks when he recognized the familiar blond-haired Bieber cut underneath the red worn-out baseball cap.

“Sam?” he asked in bewilderment. He looked at Sebastian. “This is Sam, we used to be in the New Directions together.” Kurt took the pizzas and set them aside, then smiled at the blond boy. “I didn’t know you worked at Pizza Patrón. It’s so good to see you, how’s it going?”

Kurt wondered if he’d made a mistake when his old teammate’s lip started trembling, and he brought a hand up to cover his face.

Sebastian looked at Kurt in a panic, while Kurt simply led Sam by the shoulders to take a seat on the bench in the hallway, letting Sebastian close the door behind them.

“I didn’t—I didn’t know the Warblers had ordered this pizza,” Sam mumbled. “Jesus, this is so embarrassing.”

“There’s… there’s nothing embarrassing about having a job,” Kurt tried to console him.

Sam buried his hands in his face again, breathing deeply. Kurt could sense he was overwhelmed.

“Is everything okay?”

The blond just silently shook his head.

“No,” he finally admitted. It all came tumbling out after that. “My dad lost his job a while back and I wanted help pitch in, watch my little brother and sister when I could, help with bills and stuff but even with-with the pizza delivering… it-it might not be enough,” he added, voice cracking. “I think we might lose our house.”

“Oh, my god,” Kurt said, the gravity of the situation knocking the wind right out of him. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m dumping this all on you.”

“You’re not dumping it on me, Sam,” Kurt assured him. “I know you were only in the New Directions for a few weeks before I left, but I haven’t forgotten the way you stood up for me. We’re friends, and I’m sure the rest of the New Directions have already done plenty to help—”

“They don’t know.” Sam shook his head. “We’re busy practicing, trying to crush you guys at Regionals—no offense—and I can’t tell Quinn because her mom asked at Christmas if I was a deadbeat and I said no because how could I have known this would happen? And I can’t tell Blaine because he’ll tell Quinn and—” He looked up at Kurt in a panic. “You can’t tell them, Kurt. You can’t. I-we don’t need this kind of distraction right now, and I don’t want them to pity me and—”

Kurt waved his hands frantically across his chest. “I won’t,” he promised. “I assure you, I won’t tell any of the New Directions about this. It’s not my secret to tell… But only if you let me help.”

Sam drew his head back in surprise. 

“If you let  _ us _ help,” Sebastian tacked on. Kurt felt a small amount of pride bubble up inside him. Sebastian was a good guy, at the very least. He’d proven that back around christmastime (even if his methods were a little unorthodox). Kurt could have done a lot worse.

“I’ve got a lot of clothes I don’t wear anymore,” Kurt continued. “Feel free to use them, or even sell them. You mentioned looking after your younger siblings, if you need a sitter while you’re at work, you can always call us.”

“I–I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask, we offered.”

Sam seemed to think it over for a moment. Eventually, he pulled Kurt into a hug. “Thanks, man.”

* * *

**_Woah, woah_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hell to the n-no, n-no, n-no!_ **

“Really good!” Mr. Shue enthused.

Mercedes grinned proudly at him. “Thank you.”

“But uh–”

Her face fell and she held up a finger to silence him. “But my butt Mr. Shue, that song was amazing.”

“No, I agree. I’m just not sure that it’s Regionals material. Just think about it. What’s your favorite song of all time.”

“ _ My Headband _ ,” Brittany said flatly.

Santana added, “Alanis Morisette’s  _ You Oughta Know.” _

_ “What’s Going On _ Marvin Gaye,” said Puck.

_ “Vienna _ by Billy Joel,” Blaine said.

“Okay and what are all those songs about?” Mr. Shue asked.

“Headbands…”

“All those songs come from a place of pain,” Mr. Shue continued. “The greatest songs are about hurt, and that’s the side of yourselves I want you to get in touch with.”

Every memory Blaine had of screwing something up came flooding back into his head. Pain should be easy, considering how deeply embedded into his life it was. He’d caused it when he’d said those awful words to his mother last year, felt it when his dad left all those years ago—then came back. 

More recently, though, he’d felt it hard about the way he’d ruined things with Kurt. It was probably karma for all the hurt he caused him, intentional or not. He deserved to feel this way.

“That should be easy,” Artie started. “Coach Sylvester tortures us for no reason and tries to get the entire school to hate us.”

“Yesterday, she filled Britt’s and my locker with dirt.”

Mr. Shue scrambled around, looking for a dry-erase marker. “Okay. Okay, slow down. Slow down.” He finally found one, uncapped it, and hurriedly wrote  _ Dirt _ on the whiteboard.

“She literally throws sticks at me,” Mercedes recounted.

He wrote down  _ Sticks. _

“She called the Ohio Secretary of State, saying she was me and that I wanna legally change my name to  _ Tina Cohen-Loser.” _

_ Loser.  _

“Okay, and how does that make you feel?”

“Well, at first it hurts, but…Then it mostly makes you want to win,” Finn explained. 

Their teacher circled the last word on the list. “Guys…I think you may have just found your song. Now let’s get to writing.”

* * *

Kurt sat in his room, getting ready for what was bound to be an arduous week. Regionals were in a few days, and that meant two things: extra Warblers rehearsals, and seeing Blaine again. The rehearsals he could definitely handle. The ex... not so much.

Especially since he hadn’t gotten around to telling him about Sebastian yet. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was something he  _ needed _ to tell Blaine about since the last conversation they had hadn’t blown over too well. But he still felt… sort of obligated to. As much as he tried not to, he still felt tethered to Blaine.

He sat at his vanity, combing through his hair and whistling nonsense for Pavarotti to sing back to him.

He whistled one line that resembled an obscure Hey Monday song, and the canary echoed it back. He whistled another tune, only to get the soft smacking sound of feathers on metal.

“Pavarotti?”

He craned his neck out in the direction of the birdcage, only to see Pavoratti lying lifeless on the bottom of it.

“Pavarotti,” he whispered, rushing to kneel by the cage. He clapped a hand on his mouth over his mouth and felt tears well up in his eyes.

He should have called Sebastian. Sebastian was a Warbler, knew Pavarotti longer than Kurt had, and was… his boyfriend. Sebastian was fun, and nice, and  _ fine… _

But he could never understand. Kurt had never told him about his mom passing away, and although he’d always just attributed it to the idea that it just never came up, he was beginning to realize that it was really because he never felt comfortable enough around Sebastian to tell him.

Despite having every reason not to, his mind immediately went to Blaine, and the way Kurt—who hadn’t even had any friends the year before—had told him about one of the most traumatic things he’d ever experienced after knowing him for less than a month. Kurt was struggling to imagine Sebastian being as understanding about his current grief, especially without the context of his mother’s death.

Before he could stop himself, Kurt found that his hands were pulling out his phone from his pocket and dialing Blaine’s number.

* * *

Blaine burst through the doors into Kurt’s room. “Your dad let me up, I came as soon as I could, are you okay?” Blaine rambled, not even pausing for a breath.

Kurt nodded and sniffed. “Yeah, I’m fine… I mean, I’m sad and I can’t really look at him without thinking of my…” He trailed off, but Blaine knew exactly what he was saying. The whole situation reminded him of his mom’s funeral.

“Where… where is he?”

“He’s um, still in the cage. I have a box that I decorated after I called you.” 

Blaine gestured for Kurt to hand over the box. He took it and walked up to the cage, then very gently, placed Pavarotti’s tiny body in it.

He headed back to take a seat next to Kurt again, before handing over the small bedazzled casket to Kurt. Kurt placed his hands on it, but didn’t pull it fully into his lap, so that it was still in both their grasps.

“I know it’s silly, but I feel like I should say a few words or something,” Kurt said.

“It’s not silly,” Blaine murmured, doing his best to console Kurt. “I—I can start, if you’d like?”

The crystal blue eyes Blaine missed so much shone up at him with gratitude. Kurt nodded.

Blaine looked down at the casket between them. “I… I’m sorry we have to meet this way, little buddy. I know I would have really liked you. I will forever be grateful to you for keeping my best friend company. Have fun in bird heaven, Pavarotti.”

Kurt blinked back tears and ran his thumb over the casket. It accidentally touched Blaine’s, and Blaine wished it would have lingered for longer than it did. “I know it seems silly to be upset over a bird, but… Pavarotti inspired me with his optimism and his love of song. He was more than just a bird. He was my friend… Goodnight, sweet prince.”

A moment of silence passed before Blaine started mumbling a song lowly under his breath. He draped an arm over Kurt’s back and pulled him close.

**Blackbird singing in the dead of night** **  
** **Take these broken wings and learn to fly** **  
** **All your life** **  
** **You were only waiting for this moment to arrive**

Kurt dipped his head into the crook of Blaine’s neck—where it fit so,  _ so _ perfectly—and continued the song.

_ Blackbird singing in the dead of night _ _   
_ _ Take these sunken eyes and learn to see _ _   
_ _ All your life _ _   
_ _ You were only waiting for this moment to be free _

**_Blackbird fly_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Blackbird fly_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Into the light of the dark black night_ **

“Thank you,” Kurt whispered, turning to nuzzle his face deeper into Blaine’s skin and throwing his arms around his neck. It should have been an uncomfortable situation for both of them, yet it only felt like the most natural thing in the world.

After a few tranquil seconds, Kurt lifted his head, a glimmer of _ —something _ flitting across his eyes. Guilt, perhaps? Maybe regret? “I have something to tell you,” he finally said. 

Blaine blinked and retracted himself, sitting up straighter, less at ease.

“Sebastian… asked me to be his boyfriend.”

His heart started pounding like a hammer on a nail.  _ And you told him no again. Please, please, please say you turned him down again, _ Blaine thought desperately. 

“And… and what did you say?”

“I said… yes.”

Blaine felt his stomach sink and his heart crack.  _ What did you expect? _ he asked himself.  _ Did you expect Kurt to wait around forever? Especially when you’ve been so neurotic these past few weeks? _

If he really loved Kurt, all he could do was ask one simple question.

“Does he make you happy?”

Kurt stayed quiet for a moment. “He’s a good person. I really like him.”

That answer was all Blaine needed to understand things would never go back to the way they were before. He felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner how awful he’d been. He’d broken up with Kurt to send him to Dalton, but the truth was he never really accepted that it was over. It wasn’t until last week that he’d seen the toll it had taken on Kurt. 

He swallowed around the lump in his throat and drew in a breath. “I’m… I’m sorry, Kurt,” he finally said. 

Kurt looked back at him with some degree of confusion.

“For everything I put you through since the breakup… I should have given you space, and time to heal on your own terms instead of trying to get us to be friends again before you were ready. It wasn’t right, and I was being selfish…” Blaine could feel his thoughts spiraling like an airplane in the midst of a crash landing—aware, but unable to do anything to stop them.  _ Stop talking, stop making this about you, stop being selfish, just leave, he doesn’t want you here, why on earth would he want  _ you _ here, just  _ **_stop._ **

He stood up abruptly, the weighty dread pressing into his chest telling him that he needed to make his exit soon, before he said something stupid or just completely broke down altogether. The friendly smile he was giving Kurt hurt to put on, but Blaine hoped it would be enough to reassure him that everything was okay.

“I came when you called today, because I want you to know that I am here for you when you need me, but I guess now that should be Sebastian. If he makes you happy, I'm happy for you, but…” he gestured weakly to the door. “I should go...”

Kurt had a look of somber acceptance on his face, and he watched as Blaine made his hasty exit.

“Well, I’ll uh, see you around. Take care. Good luck at Regionals,” Blaine said.

* * *

Blaine sat at the piano in the choir room, replaying the situation a hundred times in his head. Everything he could have done better. He could have tried to push harder for Figgins to take the situation seriously. He could have gone to Figgins about his fight with Karofsky behind Kurt’s back. He could have tried harder to convince Kurt to leave McKinley without being the cherry on top of a shitty situation. He could have told Kurt the truth as soon as his transfer was official, and maybe Kurt would have stayed at Dalton because it was convenient.

None of it mattered because he had done everything wrong. Even if he told Kurt the truth now, he wasn’t sure it would make a difference. Not after all the shit he put Kurt through. Not now that he was dating someone else.

He should have just told Kurt the truth the first opportunity he had, but he didn’t because he didn’t  _ think. _ He  _ never _ thinks. 

Blaine Anderson doesn't think. He reacts. He reacts to fear because he’s a  _ coward _ .

And he was terrified of Kurt trying to come back to the New Directions, or what Karofsky might do if he felt threatened by the possibility of his secret coming out. He was just so damn  _ scared _ of losing Kurt… and then he ended up losing him in an entirely different way.

He stretched his hands open before settling them on the keys. One chord after another, then another, then another, hoping it would get rid of the sinking feeling in his chest. 

The sheet music on the stand in front of him was intimidatingly blank, but nevertheless, he lifted his pencil and began filling in the chords he just played. Shutting his eyes, he thought back to every moment he could have fixed things with Kurt—every moment he felt things were falling apart and just let them because he never thought things between them would be  _ actually _ over.

It was just a feeling, but… it seemed they were.

The scratching sound of lead against paper was the only sound while Blaine finished writing out the lyrics.

There it was, all laid out in front of him. He should have played it through, just to see if it worked.

Instead, he felt his face distort as he snatched the sheet music off the piano and crumpled it up. He flung it in the wastebasket before violently standing up from the piano bench and heading out of the room.

If he couldn’t do anything else right, what made him think he could write a  _ song? _

* * *

Not even a few hours later, Sam was shoving the paper in front of Blaine’s face, creases showing that someone tried to smooth out the folds made when he’d crumpled it up and thrown it in the trash earlier.

“You wrote this?” Sam asked.

Blaine stared blankly at the sheet music and continued with the task at hand: taking down the framed pictures of he and Kurt from his locker door. He should have thrown them away, but he came across his favorite one—a selfie they’d taken on the way to Regionals last year—and simply couldn’t bear to part with it. “I’ve never seen that before.”

“It has your name written in the composer’s section of the song.”

Blaine let his head hang down and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s garbage,” he muttered. “That’s why I threw it in there. How’d you even get it?”

“I knocked the trash can over on my way in during free period. When I went to clean it up, I caught a glimpse of the music. It’s  _ good, _ Blaine. It’s  _ really _ good.”

“Nothing I do is good,” he scoffed. “Don’t know why it took me seventeen years to figure that out.”

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “Why are you getting so down on yourself?”

He gripped the side of his locker until he could feel the sting of the metal digging into his palm. “Kurt is dating Sebastian.” 

“Shit… that–that really sucks, I’m sorry, dude.”

“Yeah… me, too.”

“But this…” Sam held up the music. “This is the perfect breakup anthem,” he said. “And it’s the perfect opportunity for you to try and work through your feelings, you know? I wouldn’t lie to you, man. It’s really good.”

Sam was probably still picking up on some of Blaine’s hesitance.

“I said we were like Wolverine and Cyclops, and no Wolverine I know would let Cyclops go into battle without his secret weapon. This song is our secret weapon.  _ You’re _ our secret weapon.”

Blaine highly doubted he was that important to the New Directions, but as of now, they only had  _ Loser Like Me _ . They needed another original song, and Blaine had one. 

“Fine,” he finally caved. “For the team.”

* * *

Blaine bounced on his toes a little, letting out a lungful of air. He’d performed in front of crowds bigger than this before. He’d performed harder and more vocally demanding music. 

Why the hell was he so nervous? 

Maybe because he’d never had a solo in front of a competition audience before, maybe because he never had to sing a song he  _ wrote,  _ maybe because he knew Kurt was in that audience, sitting next to… 

A pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind and squeezed. “You’re going to do great, Blaine!” 

He turned to face Quinn, a nervous look in his eyes. “We’ll see,” he sighed, wringing his hands together. “I still can’t believe you guys peer pressured me into taking the solo on this thing.”

“I won’t lie, I think it's mostly due to the fact that none of us wanted Rachel to have it.”

Despite the hurricane of nerves raging inside him, he chuckled.

“How are you feeling?” Quinn asked.

“Uh, nervous,” he admitted. “Kind of like I’m showing a piece of my soul to the world and if we lose it’ll be all my fault.”

“If we lose, it’ll be because of Mr. Shue’s repetitive and outdated choreography,” she said in an attempt to cheer him up. He snorted out a laugh. “You wrote a great song. I’m proud of you.”

“And now, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!”

“That’s your cue!” she squealed, pushing him towards the stage encouragingly. “Break a leg!”

He stumbled onto the stage, but quickly regained his composure before heading to the piano. He took a seat and drew in a shaky breath. He pressed down on the keys for the intro and opened his mouth to  [ sing, ](https://youtu.be/uGCZJvA76LE) the jazz band following his lead.

**_I watched you cry bathed in sunlight by the bathroom door_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You said you wished you did not love me anymore_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You left your flowers in the backseat of my car_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The things we said and did have left permanent scars_ **

Kurt watched from the audience with a strange mixture of pride and sadness. He was pretty sure he didn’t know this song, yet it sounded vaguely familiar.

**_Obsessed, depressed at the same time_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I can’t even walk in a straight line_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’ve been lying in the dark_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No sunshine, no sunshine_ **

**_He cries, this is more than goodbye_ ** **_  
_ ** **_When I look into your eyes_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You’re not even there_ **

He clutched Sebastian’s hand in a deathly tight grip, not because he necessarily wanted to hold it, but because he desperately needed something to keep him grounded. “Oh my god… they’re doing original songs.”

**_It’s just a feeling_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just a feeling_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just a feeling that I have_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It’s just a feeling_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just a feeling that I have_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I can’t believe that it’s over_ **

He couldn’t be sure, but Kurt felt his head grow dizzy at the thought that Blaine might’ve written this song. 

True, it could have been written by any one (or many) of the New Directions, but Blaine was singing lead on it the entire time. Not even  _ Rachel _ had a solo in it. In fact, she was singing backup while Blaine continued on the piano. 

**_So much to say, it’s not the way he does his hair_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It’s the way he seems to stare right through my eyes_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And in my darkest days when he refused to run away_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The love he tried so hard to save_ **

**_It’s just a feeling_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just a feeling_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just a feeling that I have_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It’s just a feeling_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just a feeling that I have_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I can’t believe that it’s over_ **

The song faded out and Blaine took center stage, a performative smile on his face. He gestured to the rest of the show choir behind him. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re the New Directions!” he exclaimed before hurrying off to his spot.

The music shifted to an upbeat song—another original song, Kurt assumed.

**_Yeah you may think that I’m a zero_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But hey everyone you wanna be_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Probably started off like me_ **

**_Yeah you may say that I’m a freak show (I don’t care)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But hey give it just a little time_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I bet you’re gonna change your mind_ **

**_All of the dirt you’ve been throwing my way_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I know one day you’ll be screaming my name_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I’ll just look away, that’s right_ **

**_Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So everyone can hear_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Baby I don’t care_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Keep it up and soon enough you’ll figure out_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You wanna be_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You wanna be_ ** **_  
_ ** **_A loser like me!_ **

* * *

“And now, to announce our winner, Lieutenant Governor Stevens’ wife, Carla Turlington-Stevens!”

An older woman walked onto the stage holding an envelope.

“My husband is verbally abusive, and I have been drinking since noon,” she slurred. Quinn and Blaine exchange confused glances. “I’m bored. Let’s just see who won, huh?” Carla peeked open the envelope and announced the winner.

“The New Directions! You’re going to Nationals in New York!”

The group collectively burst out into excited screams and celebratory cheers. Blaine broke out into a wide smile and roped in Sam and Quinn for a hug. 

“We did it! Oh my god, guys, we really did it!” 

Sam pulled away and clapped Blaine on the back. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”

Blaine shook his head. “No, it was really a group effort. Just like it will be in Nationals! We’re going to Nationals, guys!”

While the New Directions kept celebrating, Blaine looked over to the other two competitors.

The bright glow in his chest quickly faded away—almost as if it were superficial—when he looked across the stage and saw Sebastian and Kurt leaning up against each other. Kurt could have been sharing the victory with the New Directions, if Blaine hadn’t made such an impulsive and stupid decision all those months ago.

Blaine watched them walk away, hand in hand. Even in the midst of celebrating, all he could think about was everything he’d done wrong that led them to this point.

* * *

Mr. Shue hung up the phone and faced the New Directions. After Regionals, the New Directions all gathered back in the choir room. “Ms. Holliday sends her best, and can’t wait to congratulate you all in person when she gets back from her meditation retreat,” he told them “Now, we all know that winning Regionals was a team effort, and Nationals isn’t going to be any different. But like in sports, every winning team has a player that rises above to help carry their teammates to victory… The MVP. And I would like to start a tradition of honoring that player after every one of our competitions. So, per a unanimous vote by all of you, our Regionals MVP is… Blaine Anderson!”

Blaine let out a startled huff of a laugh as everyone burst into supportive cheers and applause.

“Come on up,” Mr. Shue instructed. Blaine went to the front of the classroom as directed. “Congratulations.”

“Um… Thank you. If I could just say a few words?”

“Sure.”

“Well, first of all, I just want to say how amazing the song you guys wrote was. I… I was so inspired. Nobody knows this, but I almost threw away that song. And if it weren’t for Sam,” he picked up the trophy and gestured it towards the blond, “who dug it up out of the trash and convinced me to show it to you guys, it might’ve never seen the light of day.

“I haven’t… I haven’t felt much like an MVP lately. I kind of feel like I just keep screwing things up. So it's, um, a good feeling knowing I did this one thing right,” he smiled sheepishly and held the small trophy up.

Finn was one of the first ones to break his seated position and go up to Blaine, wrapping his arms around him. Soon everyone else followed and enveloped Blaine in a big group hug.

The relief and comfort he felt was nice, but fleeting. It all felt too close to the surface for him, like a bandaid on a cut that needed stitches. He forced out a smile for his teammates, but the everpresent sinking feeling in his chest was impossible to ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oops it was angsty
> 
> Blaine's "Original Song": Just A Feeling by Maroon 5


	15. Night of Neglect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this came out a little angstier and heavier and longer than I intended oops  
> Edit: wow okay I think this is the longest chapter of the entire story bIG oops 
> 
> ...
> 
> :)

Blaine never thought his bones could feel so heavy and his chest could feel so empty, not until he woke up the Monday after Regionals.

He could see the sunlight flooding into his room and pulled the blanket over himself tighter, hoping in vain that it would stop the sun from rising any higher. 

He expected to feel sad, broken… _anything_. Instead, he felt more like a blank slate, his mind foggy yet somehow circling over the same thoughts all at once. 

Hollow… hollow was the right word. 

Eventually, his mom came in, knocking on the side of his open door. “Wake up, sleepy head!” she cried, chipper. “Time to get up, you’re gonna be late for school.”

Once again, he pulled the covers over himself in hopes of calming the buzzing heaviness all over his arms and legs. “I don’t feel very good today,” he said, almost in complete monotone. The very thought of getting out of his bed today made his stomach churn with dread. 

He felt his eyes begin to water. That had to be a good sign, right? If he was crying, it meant he was sad, which was a step up from the feeling of nothingness he woke up with. _Please don’t make me get up right now… I don’t think I can_. 

Blaine didn’t see his mom’s deeply concerned expression. “Do you think you’re coming down with something?” she asked, stepping up to him and pressing her palm to his forehead. “Hm, you don’t seem to have a fever.”

“I don’t know,” Blaine mumbled. “I just… feel really nauseous.” He immediately felt a pang of guilt in his chest for lying to his mom, even if it was partially true. A part of him desperately wanted to try and explain how he was feeling, but an even louder part of him shot that idea down immediately. 

_Why, so she can finally see how weak you are? What kind of person can’t handle going to school just because they feel_ **_sad_** _? Everyone feels like this sometimes, Blaine. Besides, you just won Regionals, you have nothing to be sad about. Get over yourself._

She nodded sympathetically. “I’ll stop by the store and get you some Pedialyte.” 

“Really, mom, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine.” He felt panic start to rise as he realized his lie would inconvenience his mother. This shouldn’t have been a big deal, but with every word she said, he only felt more unshakable guilt burrow and settle deep in his gut.

“No, no. If you have a stomach bug, I don’t want you throwing up and getting dehydrated.” She gently pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll call the school and let them know you’ll be out today. We’ll see if Dr. Palacios is available later today if you’re still not feeling well.”

His mom walked out the door. Blaine felt equal parts relief at not having to get up, and guilt over sending his mom on a trip she didn’t need to take.

He’d slept plenty the night before, but suddenly Blaine found his heavy eyelids were shutting once more. 

* * *

Mary Anderson scanned the aisle in the local grocery store for the electrolyte-filled drink she needed for her son. She finally found some and immediately placed them in her cart.

As she turned to put them away, she saw a familiar figure brush past her out of the corner of her eye, a puffy vest and a baseball cap. She popped her head up and threw him a big smile. “Burt!” she called out.

Kurt’s father spun around, searching for the voice that called him and smiling back at her once he’d found the source. “Mary, good to see you.”

“You, too. How’re Carole and the boys?” she asked innocuously. 

“Carole’s well, so’s Finn. Kurt is… fine, I think, but definitely been better.”

“Yeah, transferring can be rough. It’s definitely an adjustment,” she agreed.

“That and the breakup,” Burt said, a tad cautiously. He had a lot of respect for Mary Anderson as a parent, but her chummy attitude was still a bit off-putting considering their sons’ history.

Mary frowned. “Oh no,” she said. “Did Finn and Rachel split?”

“No..?” Burt furrowed his eyes in confusion. “Did… Did Blaine not tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Oh boy,” he mumbled, running a hand over his baseball cap. “He and Kurt… broke up… back in November.”

Her jaw dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, right after the wedding, actually,” Burt continued when Mary just stared back at him, still not processing. “It’s my understanding that uh, it wasn’t mutual. It’s not what Kurt wanted.”

Four months. It had been _four months_ since her son had broken up with his boyfriend and this is the first she was hearing about it. Four months and she had no idea what kind of pain her child was going through with his first breakup because she didn’t even _know…_

“I… thank you for telling me, Burt.”

“Anytime…” With a friendly nod and half-smile, he turned his basket around and headed down the aisle.

* * *

Blaine’s mom was back within an hour, and by then he finally seemed to be able to muster up the strength to sit up as she walked through the door to his room once more, drink in tow.

“Hey mom,” he said with a tired smile.

“Hey kiddo…” she answered, taking a seat next to him on the bed. Blaine finally seemed to notice the furrows of deep concern on her forehead and his stomach dropped. “So… I ran into Kurt’s dad at the store.”

It had taken Blaine all morning to be able to just even sit up, and that one sentence immediately made him want to crawl back under the covers. “Y-you did?”

She nodded solemnly. “Why didn’t you tell me that you broke up with Kurt?”

Blaine looked down at his sheets. “Because I didn’t think you’d understand why.”

“Then help me understand.”

He felt his eyes water and swallowed hard to keep them from spilling over. “Kurt was just so attached to McKinley, and he wasn’t safe there, Mom...” he finally admitted. “I get it now. Why you wanted me out of there so badly. I’m so lucky that being on the football team keeps me from the full force of bullying, but Kurt isn’t. And Karofsky was targeting specifically him. If anything happened to him and I didn’t prevent it, I wouldn’t deserve to keep him anyways!” 

“So you broke up with him in hopes that he’d transfer?” she asked. 

Blaine nodded in confirmation, waiting silently for his mom to tell him how stupid that had been.

Instead, she sighed after a few seconds of silence. “Do you remember last year, when your dad came back?”

“Yeah,” Blaine laughed bitterly. “How could I forget? It was the worst month of my life.” 

“If you ask me, I think that had less to do with him coming back and more to do with the fact that you helped everyone with their problems and avoided your own.” 

“What do you mean?” Blaine scrunched his face up in a lack of understanding.

“Based on what you told me afterwards, you were dealing with Rachel’s weird crush on you and her relationship drama with Finn, Puck telling you that he was the father of Quinn’s baby, the rest of the New Directions pressuring you not to tell Finn, letting Quinn stay here when her parents kicked her out…” She smoothed his hair down comfortingly. “That’s a lot for a kid to handle, Blaine.”

He just shrugged. “They’re my friends. I love them, and they needed my help,” he started, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. “Love is putting the needs of others before your own. You’re a child psychologist, all you _do_ is help other people.” 

“Oh, sweetie… Not to the point where I can’t help myself…” Her lip trembled slightly before she started up again. “I know I didn’t exactly give you the best example of a healthy relationship—”

“Don’t.” He stopped her, grabbing her hand. “You gave me plenty.” 

“Just let me finish…” she added gently. “Love isn’t what I had with your father. That was me giving everything I had to a man who didn’t deserve it because I had this _twisted_ thought process that if I left, I would be the reason you boys didn’t have a father.”

“Oh, my god, mom… none of that was your fault. It was all on him.”

“I know that now,” she sighed. “I just… need you to know that love is _not_ a contest, it’s a cooperation. You don’t win anything by ‘giving’ the most to the point where it leaves you empty.”

Blaine sat in awed silence. Her words were so in tune to how he was feeling that he was having a hard time believing she wasn’t _actually_ reading his mind right now.

“I’m just so scared…” he finally admitted. ”If I don’t—if I _stop…_ everyone will walk right out of my life.” He blinked back tears and finally met his mom’s gaze. “They’ll stop loving me. Just like Dad did.”

There were two people in this world who were supposed to love you unconditionally—and Blaine knew his mom more than lived up to that expectation—but one of them _hadn’t_. 

He sniffed, and in an instant his mother had her comforting arms wrapped around his back. He buried his face into her warm embrace while she rubbed soothing circles on his back. “Oh, no… Baby, no…” she said, her voice quivering, failing to hold back tears of her own at this point.

She let him drench her shirt with his tears for a long while before speaking again.

“I am so, _so_ proud of the amazingly kind son I’ve raised, and I’m not telling you to stop being kind, but... You’ve been neglecting yourself in favor of others, and it’s got to stop before you have nothing left to give.”

He swallowed down the still-fresh lump in his throat. 

Generally, Blaine considered himself an open and sunny person. He loved making new friends, playing on the piano in the choir room so that everyone could sing along to whatever pop trash his fingers decided to play that day, making people _happy_.

Talking about his grim past just didn’t fit in with the image he had of himself. Which is why he’d only ever (intentionally) told two people about it—Quinn and Kurt. Quinn could sympathize, which he appreciated.

But Kurt… 

Kurt was the first person Blaine had ever shown that side of himself to—the side that wasn’t so put together as the version of himself he presented to the world. The side that had gone through some hard times and was still a little bit scared. And he’d done it without a second thought because Kurt was _kind_ and compassionate and totally—in the true sense of the word—loved Blaine. 

Blaine never had to try to make Kurt happy, because he never asked him to. Kurt never demanded anything in return for his affections, he was just happy to be with Blaine. He never had to hide anything when he was around Kurt, never had to do or be anything special in order to feel loved. 

When he hadn’t been able to keep Kurt safe, he felt he’d lost that right.

“It's not healthy for you to keep all your emotions bottled up like this, Blaine,” his mother continued. “And if you don’t want to talk to me about it, I won’t pressure you to, but I think you should talk to somebody.”

“What do you mean?”

His mom paused for a moment, twisting her mouth in contemplation. “Do you remember that book club I joined when I filed for divorce?” Blaine nodded, remembering how she’d always come home looking like a load was off her shoulders. “It wasn’t a book club. It was group therapy for domestic abuse victims.”

“Oh…” he realized what his mother was suggesting. “And you want me to…?”

“Not necessarily group therapy,” she explained. “But I think someone… A professional could really help you.” She must’ve picked up on Blaine’s reluctance because she clasped his hand. “Please. For me?”

Blaine sighed. He could do this, if only for his mother. “Of course.”

* * *

Blaine was welcomed back the next day at school with wide and open arms. “You’re back, oh thank god!” Quinn cried, pulling Blaine in for a tight squeeze. “If I have to listen to Finn and Rachel sing one more fucking nineties love ballad to each other, I _will_ go ballistic.”

As soon as she let him go, Sam came swooping in right behind her to give him a hug of his own. “Good to have you back man.”

Blaine chuckled lightly as he let go, feeling the cracks in his heart smooth over just a little from being near his friends again. It didn’t magically fix everything, but… it was definitely better than being cooped up and alone in his room. “Good to be back,” he said. “So what did I miss yesterday?”

“As it turns out, a lot.” 

“Okay,” Sam started. “So Brittany, Artie, Mike, and Tina are in this club thing called the Brainiacs—”

“Academic Decathlon,” Quinn clarified. Blaine opened his mouth to ask if he had heard Brittany’s name correctly before she beat him to the punch. “Yes, Brittany S. Pierce is on the Academic Decathlon team.”

“Anyway,” Sam continued. “They were all upset that nobody knew they’d made it to Regionals, even though half of us didn’t even know that team even existed, and they couldn’t afford to go, so Mr. Shue is making us sell saltwater taffy to not only fundraise for our tickets to Nationals, but the Brainiac’s road trip to Regionals. On top of that, we decided to have a Night Of Neglect concert where we will only be performing songs by neglected artists. Oh! Do you remember that Sunshine Corazon girl?”

“My maybe-maybe-not-second-cousin that Rachel sent to a crackhouse?”

“Yeah! She’s sympathetic to our stuff and said she’ll perform for our show tomorrow and get her six hundred twitter followers to come!”

Quinn threw her hands out, sarcastically shaking them like jazz hands. “And that’s what you missed in Glee!”

* * *

“I'm totally doing Lykke Li,” Tina said excitedly. 

The New Directions strode down the hall together, buzzing over what solos they were going to sing for the benefit concert.

“She's Björk meets Florence and the Machine, and a promising new talent. What about you, Mike?” 

“Mike Chang, Dance Dance Revolution. I'm tired of my dancing being overshadowed by all of you guys' singing,” he teased them. “It's gonna be just me and my sweet moves on that stage.”

“You're forgetting about the most neglected artist this Glee Club's ever seen,” Mercedes pointed out. “Aretha Franklin.”

“Neglected?” Santana asked in disbelief. “She's, like, the Queen of Soul.”

“I auditioned for this club singing _Respect_ and she's got none since, so I'm doing Aretha.”

“Awesome, Mercedes,” Rachel said, turning around to face the rest of the group with a psychotic smile on her face.

Blaine rolled his eyes. _Oh, here we fucking go._

“Awesome, all of you guys. Those songs are great appetizers to my main course: Celine Dion's _My Heart Will Go On.”_

“That's, like, the biggest song of all time.” Quinn pointed out.

“No, you don't understand. Celine isn't the neglected artist. I am.”

Mercedes rolled her eyes. “Gross,” she mumbled.

“You’re awful quiet today, hobbit,” Santana pointed out, gesturing to Blaine. “What’s your deal?”

He tensed. “I’ve… just been thinking about what song I’m gonna sing,” he lied. Blaine couldn’t pinpoint exactly why he hadn’t felt much like talking, he’d just been sort of in his head. Somehow, talking about how much he hated himself just didn’t seem to fit in the conversation.

“And what song is that?”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “It’s hard to think with you always prattling on, so I really haven’t decided yet…” That much was true. He thought maybe something by A Great Big World or Sam Smith. This glee club’s biggest offense was neglecting artists of the LGBT variety.

“Oof, someone’s snippy today.”

“And you’re snippy _everyday_ , but nobody says anything about that,” Blaine snapped.

“Please,” Santana groaned and rolled her eyes while batting her hand through the air dismissively. “I’m hilarious. You guys lap up my jokes like a kitten loves cream.”

“No, we actually don’t,” Blaine continued. “Because believe it or not, the majority of the people you call friends don’t actually enjoy having their flaws pointed out by someone who prides herself on being a terrible bitch.”

Santana drew her head back, mouth agape. 

Blaine felt all his friends staring at him and his heart began to race. He knew what they were thinking; it wasn’t like him to snap like that. 

Or maybe that _was_ him… maybe it was just the inevitability of his genetics finally catching up with him. Memories of his dad began invading his thoughts—disproportionately angry outbursts to things that didn’t really matter. Exactly like Blaine had just displayed.

Panic raced through him at his discomforting realization. No matter how hard he tried, he would never be free of his dad. At least, not really. How could he be, when he was _becoming_ him?

He could still feel his friends’ gazes fixed on him like he was a recently uncaged zoo animal, like he _wasn’t_ the Blaine they knew, and the desire to _get the hell out of there_ became overwhelming. 

He hiked his backpack high on his shoulders and broke off from the group, heading in the opposite direction.

* * *

Quinn found Blaine five minutes later, sitting on the same bench they sat on when he offered her a place to stay last year, wiping at his eyes. 

“If you’re here to ask me what the hell that was about, don’t, because I don’t even know,” he said.

She snorted and took a seat next to him. “You think I’m gonna defend _Santana?_ The girl who literally tried to _physically_ fight me the first day back at school? And you call yourself my best friend.” She draped an arm across his back. “I do think that wasn’t very much like you, though. What’s up?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine said honestly, running a hand through his curls anxiously. “I just… haven’t felt like myself recently and I don’t even know how it happened, but I’ve noticed that the default setting on my brain just seems to be hating myself.”

“How long have you been feeling this way?” Quinn asked, squeezing him a little.

He shrugged. “I don’t know… probably around the break-up. Maybe a few weeks before. At least, I think that’s when it started. And then the break up kind of just snowballed it and it snuck up on me and I’m feeling it all at once now and it is so fucking overwhelming, Q.” He buried his face into her shoulder and she held him tight. “I don’t want to be this person anymore, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“Shit, Blaine,” she mumbled. “Why haven’t you told me this? That’s heavy stuff, you shouldn’t be keeping all of it bottled up.”

He laughed with a trace of bitterness Quinn knew wasn’t really directed towards her. “You sound like my mother.” He sighed. “Literally. She told me I have to learn how to talk about my feelings better. She wants me to start seeing a therapist. Do I _look_ like I need therapy?”

Quinn looked back at him, his hair disheveled, bow tie crooked and clothes wrinkled, bags under his red and wet eyes. She’d opened her mouth to respond before Blaine held up an index finger to her.

“Don’t answer that.”

She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “Wasn’t going to,” she lied.

After a beat of silence, Blaine puffed out some air through his nose in lieu of a laugh. He dragged a hand down his face. “I’m kind of a mess, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but it’s understandable. You went through a pretty big life change. And teenage hormones are doing god knows what to your brain. There’s not a single person in that choir room who _isn’t_ a mess. Including Mr. Shue. Hell, especially Mr. Shue.”

He smiled gratefully at her. “Thanks, Curly Q.”

She wrinkled her nose playfully at him in response to the nickname. “Aw, anything for my Blainey Days.”

He rolled his eyes. “So what are you singing?”

“I’m not doing a solo, are you crazy? Everyone knows my job here is to look pretty and sing inaccurate Funk numbers with the Unwed Mothers Connection.”

Blaine threw his head back, cackling. 

“What are _you_ singing?” she asked him. “In no world does the Blaine Anderson I know pass up a performance opportunity.”

He shrugged. “I’m thinking maybe something upbeat, optimistic, a little indie. I think _Sh_ _orty Don't Wait_ and _Land of Opportunity_ by A Great Big World are on the list.”

“Hm, I see you’re taking the whole express yourself advice to heart.” He rolled his eyes. “If you’re gonna stop keeping your feelings to yourself, you might as well go all out, right?”

He chewed on his bottom lip. “Well… there _is_ this one song…”

As he listed off the possible songs he wanted to sing, she gave her two cents on each, discussing how the audience might react. The hardest part was doing her best to hide the glint in her eye when she thought of who she sold her tickets to.

* * *

A year ago, walking down the McKinley High hallways would not have been this painful. But as he held onto Sebastian’s hand while showing him around, all Kurt felt was the sweet sting of nostalgia.

“And that was the Spanish classroom.” He pointed out the classroom as they passed by. “And, of course, the choir room.”

Just then, Brittany came rushing down the hall, pushing Artie in his chair. They both giggled excitedly.

“Hey, you guys, you better get in the auditorium. The show's about to start!” Brittany called out. 

“It's gonna be a full house. Gotta get there early to get a good seat.”

“We'll be there in a minute. I'm just showing Sebastian around,” Kurt said, following them with a sad gaze the entire time. Being a Warbler, to Kurt, felt like a technicality. Some sort of glitch in the matrix. His heart was with the New Directions, no matter what.

God, he missed them.

He thought the last of the New Directions had made their way past them when he heard a familiar voice behind them. 

“Kurt?”

He spun around to see Blaine standing in the hallway, all dressed up and ready to perform.

“What—what are..? I didn’t realize you were coming… I was just heading to the audience soon. Tina’s gonna start off the show, and she wanted me to record her.”

Kurt stood there, still as a statue when he felt Blaine’s eyes land on his hand laced through Sebastian’s. He felt the sudden urge to snap it away, like it was something Blaine shouldn’t have seen. 

It wasn’t fair that he _still_ felt guilty about it. Nothing about this situation was fair.

“Yeah,” Sebastian said a bit tightly. “We’re really looking forward to the performance.”

“Oh, yeah… um, thanks, by the way... for coming and supporting us, guys. It's really cool of you.”

Kurt was sure another awkward silence would have bestowed itself upon them if a gravelly voice hadn't interrupted them.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” Karofsky growled. Kurt whirled around to face him. “At least Anderson actually goes here.”

“We're here for the benefit,” Kurt snarled. “Don't tell me _you're_ going.”

“I wouldn't be caught dead. I was pumping iron in the gym, and one of the guys told me you two were here spreading your fairy dust all over the place.”

Kurt already knew to shoot Blaine a glare that said _Don’t you dare,_ just in time to stop the shortest of them from lunging forward.

“Who the hell is this?” Sebastian asked, narrowing his eyes at Karofsky.

“Just the Neanderthal who got away with threatening my life.”

“I’m the guy whose fist you’re gonna taste if you don’t back off, meerkat looking bitch!”

“Will you just give it _up?”_ Blaine snarled. “Live whatever lie you want, but don't pretend that we don't know what's _really_ going on.”

“You don't know _squat_ , butt boy!” 

This time, Kurt wasn’t quite quick enough to stop his ex boyfriend from charging forward and shoving his hands into Karofsky’s chest. 

“Blaine, don’t!” Kurt cried out, taking a step towards them. 

Sebastian tugged on his hand and looked at him incredulously when Kurt shot him a bewildered glare. 

Karofsky pushed back, but before things could escalate further, another figure came running out from the shadows.

“Hey, no, you guys!” Santana cried. “Stop!” She pulled the fighting football players apart.

“Real brave with your fists, but you're a coward when it comes to the truth,” Kurt heaved out.

“Truth about what?” Santana asked.

“It's none of your business, J. Lo!” 

“First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill,” she snapped back.

“I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl.”

“Okay. See, here's what's gonna go down. Two choices. You stay here and I crack one of your nuts—right or left, that's your choice—or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day.” 

Karofsky grunted and waved them off dismissively.

“And also, I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Mm-hmm. Tons. Just all up in there,” Santana added as he stomped away.

“I could've handled that,” Blaine said.

She shrugged casually. “Anyone who’s got enough balls to give me some lip has earned my respect.”

Blaine and Santana’s phones pinged at the same time. He dug his out of his pocket, stomach dropping when he saw the message from the New Directions group chat.

“Crap,” Santana muttered, scowling down at her phone. “We gotta go.”

Blaine threw his head back and groaned. “God, this week suuuuuuuucks.” He gave Kurt a quick nod before following Santana down the hall towards the choir room.

They walked side by side in silence for a few seconds before Blaine sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

She looked at him apprehensively before giving a small grunt. “Me, too. You were right. I am kind of a huge asshole… but I wasn’t trying to pick on you, you know. I can tell you’re going through it and that was my attempt at getting you to open up a little. If you ever repeat this, I’ll deny it, but I care about everyone in that room. Even Trouty Mouth… Even you. And I’m sorry things are rough right now. I hope they get better.”

“Oh,” Blaine said, feeling even guiltier than before, and mildly shocked. “Um, thanks.”

She shrugged in an attempt to look nonchalant, and they walked the rest of the way to the choir room in silence.

“According to Sunshine's Twitter, she's not coming… and neither are any of her followers,” Artie announced as soon as they walked through the room.

“I told you. She's evil!” Rachel claimed.

Sam came running in. “I was just in the auditorium. There's, like, six people in there,” he said. The room filled with disappointed moans and a few muttered expletives.

“I say we blow this whole thing off and hit the arcade,” Puck suggested.

Blaine took one look around the room at his disheartened friends and knew that it was time for Perpetually Sunny Blaine to come back into the mix. They needed his positivity right now. Even though he was still hurting, if he could keep their spirits up, didn’t he at least have to try?

“No. No. Screw that,” he said. “These people paid to watch us perform.”

“Blaine’s right,” Finn added. “What's that saying? _The show's gotta go all over the place_ or something.”

“You mean, _The show must go on_ , hon,” Rachel corrected him.

“Yeah…”

“Whether there's six or six-thousand people out there, we still have to give it our all,” Blaine continued. “Are we or are we not the glee club who won sectionals by having to come up with a set list an hour before performance time after our songs got stolen?”

There were scattered mutterings of agreement. 

“And are we or are we not the glee club who finally made it to freaking Nationals after nearly getting disbanded last year!?”

He was definitely met with more enthusiasm this time around.

“Okay, Tina, you're up first.”

* * *

Kurt cheered loudly when Tina walked onto the stage and urged Sebastian to follow his lead. 

The music started and Tina started singing. 

**_Oh I’ll follow you_ ** **_  
_** **_I’ll follow you_ **

She was doing really well, and Kurt felt a combination of pride, envy, and sadness. 

He didn’t have time to dwell on that for too long, though, because he realized the other four people in the audience (Azimio, Becky Jackson, JBI, and—was that _Sandy Ryerson?)_ had started heckling her. He let his jaw drop, absolutely appalled.

_“Boo! You, suck!”_

_“Get off the stage!”_

It couldn’t have been longer than a minute before Tina’s dancing became slower and slower, her face losing confidence with every passing second.

_“I’ve been to dog shows with more talent than this!”_

He heard a snicker on his left and threw a hard glare in Sebastian’s direction. “Are you _laughing_?” he asked in utter disbelief.

Sebastian didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed at being caught, just shrugged his shoulders in a way that clearly showed he thought Kurt needed to lighten up. “I’m not laughing _at_ her, Kurt,” he defended himself. “I’m laughing at the absurdity of it all. You have to admit, the whole situation is a bit ridiculous.”

Kurt watched in horror as Tina fled the stage in tears.

He narrowed his eyes at Sebastian. “It’s ridiculous to _you._ To her, it’s humiliating and traumatizing.”

“Okay, alright,” Sebastian showed his palms in defeat. “I’m sorry, jeez, I didn’t know…”

Kurt huffed and turned his shoulders slightly away from him. _Blaine would never do that,_ he thought before he could stop himself. _He’s probably back there consoling her right now..._

Just then, he saw Quinn up at the front of the seats, along with Rachel, passing out candy to the hecklers.

“Take as much as you want,” Rachel said smugly.

“Thanks, babe,” Becky threw finger guns at her.

“I'll take some,” Azimio said, grabbing a handful from Quinn’s basket.

“And remember, vote Quinn Fabray for prom queen!” she announced, excessively peppy. 

The blonde caught a glimpse of Kurt and offered him a big friendly smile. She headed up the stairs to him. 

“Can I interest you in some taffy?” She held out the basket to him.

Kurt chuckled. “I think we’re good.”

“Suit yourself… if you ask me, I think the next number is enough of a treat.” She subtly winked at Kurt before leaning in under the guise of putting some candy in his hand, even though he’d denied her offer. “I think you’ll like it,” she whispered.

She smiled at him before sauntering off backstage, leaving behind a very confused Kurt. What the hell did she mean by that?

The house lights dimmed again, leaving the auditorium pitch black until a single warm spotlight shone on the stage, revealing Blaine. The few other audience members tried to yell vulgarities at him, but were silenced by the cement-like sweets in their mouths.

Blaine sat on a stool and propped up his guitar before playing the gentle strum of the [ song. ](https://youtu.be/182TRJq9Zt8)

**_I don’t have much to give but I don’t care for gold_ ** **_  
_** **_What use is money when you need someone to hold?_ ** **_  
_** **_Don’t have direction I’m just rolling down this road_ ** **_  
_** **_Waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold_ **

The sudden increase in Kurt’s heart rate reminded him to breathe. Inhale, exhale, repeat. It was as simple as that and yet, there he sat, struggling to draw in breath after trembling breath. 

**_You’ll never know the endless nights_ ** **_  
_** **_The rhyming of the rain_ ** **_  
_** **_Or how it feels to fall behind_ ** **_  
_** **_And watch you call his name_ **

There was no way Blaine picked this song for him, Kurt tried telling himself. He wasn’t even sure if Blaine knew he’d be coming tonight, how could he even begin to assume that this was for him? It was nothing but the wishful thinking that had become more habit than anything else. 

**_Pack up and leave everything_ ** **_  
_** **_Don’t you see what I can bring?_ ** **_  
_** **_Can’t keep this beating heart at bay_ ** **_  
_** **_Set my midnight summer free_ ** **_  
_** **_I will give you all of me_ ** **_  
_** **_Just leave your lover_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave him for me_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave your lover_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave him for me_ **

But he still couldn’t help but wonder…

 **_We sit here buzzin, raise our drinks to growing old_ ** **_  
_** **_Oh I’m in love with you and you will never know_ ** **_  
_** **_But if I can’t have you I want this life alone_ ** **_  
_** **_Spare you the rising storm and let the rivers flow_ **

Blaine lifted his gaze from staring down at the guitar strings.

Kurt had been on that stage—where he and Blaine had shared their first kiss—countless times before. He knew that the spotlights on them made it hard to see anybody in the audience, and yet, he could have _sworn_ Blaine’s eyes locked into his.

And he would have sworn he caught a glimmer of desperation, something pleading at Kurt that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

 **_You’ll never know the endless nights_ ** **_  
_** **_The rhyming of the rain_ ** **_  
_** **_Or how it feels to fall behind_ ** **_  
_** **_And watch you call his name_ **

That’s how it seemed to be lately. Before they’d broken up, Kurt had been able to read Blaine like a book. But since then, Kurt couldn’t make heads or tails of a single thing Blaine had done. Sending him his mother’s perfume bottle so soon after they’d broken up, getting him tickets to the championship game, that fucking _kiss._

 **_Pack up and leave everything_ ** **_  
_** **_Don’t you see what I can bring?_ ** **_  
_** **_Can’t keep this beating heart at bay_ ** **_  
_** **_Set my midnight summer free_ ** **_  
_** **_I will give you all of me_ ** **_  
_** **_Just leave your lover_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave him for me_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave your love_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave him for me_ **

Yet despite all that… Kurt knew that if he could just _understand—_ he would take Blaine back in a heartbeat. 

**_Leave your lover_ ** **_  
_** **_Leave him for me_ **

Of _course_ he would take Blaine back. Given Blaine would explain, if he could make the confusion go away, make the last few months of aching loneliness make sense. He’d take Blaine back because as much as he felt like a jerk for thinking it, being with Sebastian wasn’t enough. It wasn’t as fun or as good or as _loving_ as being with Blaine…

And Blaine is just... everything.

Kurt’s eyes were swimming with tears by the end of the song. He tried to discreetly sniff, but Sebastian heard him.

He looked over at Kurt. “Kurt… are you… crying?”

Kurt was still staring at the stage and kept staring until Blaine started to tear down his simple set. “Yeah, I just… really miss my friends.” 

He hesitantly looked back at Sebastian. The last thing he expected to see was the resigned sadness and defeat in the other boy’s expression. 

“Yeah, okay,” Sebastian mumbled, shaking his head and tearing his gaze away from Kurt’s. “I uh, gotta use the restroom, but I don’t really remember where it is.”

Kurt blinked the last of the tears out from his eyes before standing. “I’ll show you.”

He looked back at the stage before they left, hoping to burn one last image of Blaine into his brain, but the stage had already gone dark.

* * *

Kurt had just dropped off Sebastian at the restroom and decided to head back to the auditorium to save their seats. At least, that’s what he told Sebastian. He really just… needed some time to think.

He walked down the hallway, hands shoved in his pockets and staring down at the tiles passing by.

At the next intersection of hallways, Kurt heard the sound of shoes running against the hard tile and lifted his head just in time to stop himself colliding with—

“Blaine,” Kurt gasped. It was as if the universe could read his mind. Blaine stood there, frozen for a moment with his guitar still in one hand, and looking astonished.

“Kurt.” Blaine instinctively reached out to grab him before apparently deciding against it. “I was just leaving the stage, heading back to the choir room… What… what are you doing back here?”

“Just showing Sebastian around.”

Kurt watched as Blaine deflated just a tad, his eyebrows lowering. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well I, um, guess I’ll see you around,” Blaine mumbled, starting to walk past Kurt.

Kurt didn’t even remember making the decision, it kind of happened on its own. His arm shot out desperately across his body until his hand clutched Blaine’s shoulder. “Wait,” he found himself crying out.

Blaine spun around in an instant and Kurt could see the hope back in his eyes, the quick rise and fall of his chest.

Kurt knew Blaine had broken up with him, said he didn’t love him anymore. But there were too many signs that said otherwise and he just had to ask because… because he just had to know. He couldn’t leave here tonight without _knowing_.

He swallowed in an attempt to quench his drying mouth and gathered up any courage he had left. “Why…” he started shakily. “Why did you choose that song to sing tonight? I just want the truth…”

Blaine looked to the floor, then back up at Kurt, staying quiet for much longer than he could stand. If he didn’t answer soon, Kurt was going to lose his _fucking_ mind—

He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until Blaine finally broke his contemplative silence.

“The truth…?” Blaine asked hesitantly.

Kurt nodded.

“Kurt… there is a moment… when you say to yourself, _Oh, there you are…”_ He lifted his head and looked right at Kurt so he could finally see the tears pooling up in Blaine's eyes. _“I’ve been looking for you forever..._

“Last year, when you asked me to stay behind and practice those _Proud Mary_ moves, and we toppled over each other. That was a moment for me. When you told me about how you threw the _Defying Gravity_ competition for your dad… that moved me.

“And… and I know that I screwed up, and I know you’re with Sebastian now, and I know it’s wrong, and awful, and terribly timed, and completely _selfish_ of me to say this, but you asked for the truth and the truth is… I love you…”

Kurt felt the lump in his throat become too tight for him to fight, and he let out a sob at the words he’d been waiting so long to hear again.

“I _still_ love you. I’ve loved you ever since that day and I haven’t stopped. I never did.”

Kurt drew in a gasp, threw his arms around Blaine, and kissed him.

Feeling the shock melt off of Blaine as he started to kiss back, Kurt dug a hand into the soft, familiar locks of Blaine’s hair and pressed their chests together until he was certain he could feel the other boy’s heart beating straight through his shirt.

They split asunder at the sound of the nearby restroom door opening, resettling back as if they hadn’t just been in a tender embrace seconds before.

Sebastian strode down the hall towards them. “Oh hey guys,” he said.

Neither of the boys said anything, just kept staring at each other with flushed faces and wet eyes. 

“Um… did I miss something?” he asked, eyeing them with confusion.

Kurt closed and opened his eyes a few times, finally realizing Sebastian was standing _right by them._ How long had he been there?

 _Yes_ , he wanted to say, but he knew now wasn’t the time or place. Instead, he said, “No… let’s—let’s uh, go finish the show.”

Blaine’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down once. “Y-yeah,” he stammered. “Mercedes is finishing out the show and it’s-it’s uh, she’s gonna bring the house down.”

* * *

Blaine had let Kurt and Sebastian pass in front of him under the guise of being a courteous host, but really it was so he could text Quinn what just happened. 

**New Message:** **  
****To: Curly Q** **  
****So…**

**Kurt just kissed me in the hallway outside the auditorium.**

Not even a minute later, the sound of a frantic footfall against the tile caught Blaine’s ear and Quinn was by his side, grabbing at his arm.

“Wait, so _he_ kissed _you_?”

Blaine inhaled deeply and nodded. 

“How are you feeling?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Happy, nervous, scared.”

“Would you get back together with him?”

“I…” He hesitated, not because he wasn’t sure of his answer, but because he knew the tables had turned. It wasn’t up to him anymore. “Yes,” he breathed. “I just don’t know if I’m too late—if I put him through too much heartbreak. And then there’s Sebastian. But if he’ll have me… god yes.” He looked at her with worried eyes. “What… what do I do?”

“I think… for now, keep giving him space. He probably has a lot to think about…” Blaine nodded. “And then, we go into that auditorium and watch Mercedes crush that Aretha song.”

She strung her arms through his and they walked into the auditorium together, passing Sandy on their way in.

“Where is everybody?” the ex glee club coach called out. “Lets get on with it!”

Blaine felt his face contort into an intense scowl. “You’re a really horrible person, you know that?”

Blaine’s familiar voice caught Kurt’s attention. He looked down towards the front of the auditorium and saw Sandy looking behind his shoulder while Quinn patted Blaine’s shoulder, almost as if trying to tame a wound up dog. “You sound like my court appointed therapist.”

“And now,” Sam said as acting emcee, “Miss Mercedes Jones.”

 **_Ain't no way for me to love you,_ ** **_  
_** **_if you won't let me._ ** **_  
_** **_It ain't no way for me to give you all you need,_ ** **_  
_** **_if you won't let me give all of me._ ** **_  
_** **_Oh, but how can I, how can I, how can I_ ** **_  
_** **_Give you all the things I can,_ ** **_  
_** **_If you're tying both of my hands?_ **

Kurt didn’t even try to take his fixed stare off of Blaine’s back, just watched him silently express his delight at Mercedes’s performance.

Now that Kurt knew how Blaine felt about him, a part of him was overjoyed, but another part of him was only further frustrated because what the _hell_ had all these past few months been for? All he wanted was to be with Blaine again, and if Kurt had a choice—if Blaine would _let_ him have that choice—he knew he’d take the opportunity in a heartbeat. 

**_Oh, it ain't no way (ain't no way)._ ** **_  
_** **_It ain't no way (ain't no way)._ ** **_  
_** **_It just ain't no way, baby (ain't no way)._ ** **_  
_** **_Ain't no way baby (ain't no way)._ ** **_  
_** **_It ain't no way for me to love you,_ ** **_  
_** **_if you won't let me._ **

**_Stop trying to be someone you're not._ ** **_  
_** **_How cold and cruel is a man_ ** **_  
_** **_Who paid too much for what he got?_ ** **_  
_** **_And if you need me to love you, say, say you do._ ** **_  
_** **_Oh, then baby, baby, baby don't you know that_ ** **_  
_** **_I need you._ **

He needed answers, too. Clarity, in a situation that had been clouding his life for much too long now.

With a sigh, he glanced over at Sebastian and instantly knew what he had to do. He knew he had to try—and if Blaine still didn’t change his mind, then he was done. It would be the last time he’d ever try to work things out between them, if only for his own sake.

 **_Oh, Oh, it ain't no way._ ** **_  
_** **_I'll tell you that it ain't no way,_ ** **_  
_** **_It ain't no way._ ** **_  
_** **_It ain't no way, baby, no._ ** **_  
_** **_It just ain't no way._ ** **_  
_** **_It sure ain't no way_ ** **_  
_** **_It ain't no way for me to love you,_ ** **_  
_** **_if you won't let me_ **

Everyone in the auditorium rose to their feet and awarded the performance with uproarious applause, Kurt and Sebastian included. 

“Holy crap,” Sebastian muttered breathlessly. “That was fucking amazing.”

Kurt never tore his eyes off of Blaine for even a second. “Yeah, it was.”

* * *

Kurt carefully knocked a knuckle against Sebastian’s door.

“Sebastian... I have to tell you something.”

He nodded shakily, fearing that he already knew exactly what Kurt was about to tell him. 

“I... at the benefit concert, last night. Blaine and I... we kissed.” He paused, then corrected himself. “That’s not—that’s not entirely true… I kissed him.”

Kurt waited in silence for the other boy to explode at him about what a huge betrayal this was, but it never came. Maybe that was part of the problem. 

There was no passion here. Attraction, sure. Similar interests, maybe. But it all came down to the circumstances. Being with Sebastian was convenient, and that’s all it would ever be, and Blaine or no, it wasn’t the type of relationship Kurt wanted.

Sebastian just nodded understandingly. “It’s okay, Kurt,” he said. “We all make mistakes, and I’m not perfect, either. This is my first real relationship a-and I’m bound to have a slip up, too.” He seemed to be reassuring himself more than Kurt, and Kurt knew Sebastian didn’t understand what was happening (or didn’t want to admit it, at least) when he said, “He was your first love. I get it, you were in love with him and that's not easy to get over—“

Kurt cut him off by placing a soft hand on his thigh. “It’s not that I _was_ in love with him... It’s that I still am.”

Sebastian pursed his lips and nodded slowly, never meeting Kurt’s gaze. “I… yeah. I figured. I didn’t want to, but…”

The air seemed completely still for a moment before Sebastian sighed and spoke once more.

“So uh, I guess it’s over, then… between us?” His mouth slanted to one side disappointedly. “So soon after it started… Maybe in another lifetime.”

Kurt gave him a wry smile, not having the heart to tell him that he was pretty sure he and Blaine would come back to each other in every single lifetime.

“This wasn’t… Sebastian… this wasn’t nothing, okay?”

He smiled sadly. “I know. It just wasn’t everything… I really _did_ like you, you know,” Sebastian admitted. “And I don't say that often... you made me a better person, Kurt. But you deserve to be happy, and if that’s Blaine for you, then who am I to get in the way?”

* * *

The April Rhodes Civil Pavilion had shitty cell phone service. Blaine knew this from last year, when his mom had tried to call him to tell him his dad was back in town (what a nightmare that had been). So after another regular run of the mill Glee Club rehearsal, he headed to the parking lot like he always did, except this time his phone was vibrating nonstop in his pocket.

As he slid into the driver’s seat of his car, he dug his phone out of his pocket to see what could possibly be so important. 

Blaine’s jaw dropped and his heart drummed like a nine pound hammer in his throat. 

It was important. 

**New Message:** ****  
**From: Kurt <3** **  
**_Hey_

_Hi!_

_Shit._

_I don’t know what to say._

_A few of the Warblers are going to the Lima Bean later today. Can you meet me there at 4?_

Blaine’s stomach dropped when he saw the time. It was well past four, as Glee rehearsals usually ran at least an hour long. He frantically threw his car into drive and drove as fast as he legally could to the familiar coffee shop, but every single force in the universe seemed to be working against his favor. Everybody in front of him was going nearly ten under the speed limit, and he caught every single red light on the way. 

By the time he made it to the familiar coffee shop, it was a quarter past five. Blood pumped hard through his veins in anxious anticipation. Christ, the last time he felt like this was over a year ago when the New Directions stood on the Regional’s stage, awaiting the results that would change their lives forever. It was that same all-or-nothing, now or never feeling. Only this time, Blaine couldn’t help but think that the stakes were even higher.

He eventually gathered up the courage to peek through the sepia tinted windows to see a Dalton blazer crowned by familiar brown hair, though it wasn’t who he so desperately wanted to see at the moment.

Nick sat at the table, seemingly the last Warbler to leave, and jumped a bit in his chair when he noticed Blaine pressed up against the glass. When he got over the shock of such a sight, he simply smiled in a way that suggested he knew more than Blaine did.

Blaine’s chest flooded with hopeful disbelief—hope he was too afraid to let himself have. After four months without Kurt, he was certain having the offer of finally getting him back dangled in front of him only to have it ripped away would utterly destroy him.

His feet pounded against the asphalt, as if they had a mind of their own. He had never been so grateful for all of the sprint training he received from football. Without really thinking, he took off in the direction of the Hudson-Hummel household.

After what he desperately hoped wasn’t too long, his shoes finally hit the pavement of the driveway. He ran to the porch and banged on the door a little too frantically, only realizing that nobody was coming until he stopped and saw the empty driveway and the unlit windows. 

A frustrated sigh breathed past his lips. He shut his eyes and shook his head, realizing that in his attempt to make a grand gesture of romance, he really had left his car at the Lima Bean.

He would laugh if he wasn’t so devastated. He supposed he could just text Kurt, or call him later.

The crackling sound of tires over pavement forced Blaine to turn around and see a familiar black Navigator pull up into the driveway.

His mouth went dry when Kurt stepped out of the car, staring back at Blaine with uncertainty.

“I swear I was at the Lima Bean as soon as I could be, Kurt,” Blaine explained desperately. “We just had glee club practice and then by the time I got there, you were gone.”

“I figured…” Kurt responded simply, letting a delicate silence loom between them.

“I broke up with Sebastian,” he finally said.

Blaine’s stomach flipped. “Really? Why?”

“You know why,” Kurt said, without any accusation in his voice. A beat of silence passed. “Did you mean what you said last night?”

“One hundred percent… did you mean… that kiss… was it—?”

“God yes, Blaine.” Kurt sighed and Blaine felt like he could almost pass out from relief. 

This was happening.

He took a step forward, about to reach out to the other boy and finally bring them together before Kurt held out a hand to stop him. 

“I want nothing more than to kiss you right now, B,” he admitted. “But we have _got_ to talk about what the hell is going on first. We’ve always kind of sucked at communicating—look at the crap we put ourselves through last year. I want that to change… 

“But…” Kurt sniffed and looked up. Blaine could tell he was holding back tears. “You broke my heart and then strung me along for _four months_ , Blaine. You—that wrecked me. And I don’t… I don’t know if I can just forgive that without knowing why the hell you did it.”

“I…” Blaine felt his heart hammering in his chest. They were so close to getting back together, so close. And yet he could still fuck this up. He hesitated. The more he had thought about it, the less it made sense to him, in the light of how long it had gone on and how much they had both hurt. What if it didn't make any sense to Kurt at all? 

Kurt deserved the truth, Blaine needed to tell him the truth in order to move forward, but Kurt could very well decide everything Blaine had done was just... too much. His reasons could seem moronic, so minuscule and ridiculous compared to everything they had caused, Kurt could decide it wasn't enough to give Blaine a second chance.

He took a seat on the porch and ducked his head. Kurt sat next to him. “I just want to know why,” he pleaded softly.

Blaine swallowed. “I knew you’d never leave McKinley if we were together,” he finally said timidly.

He could see the gears turning in Kurt’s head, all the little locks latching into place as everything that happened over the past few months suddenly became clear.

“Honestly, I didn’t even have a plan beyond trying to get you to leave McKinley. I was just scared and wanted you out of there before things escalated. I never, _ever_ meant for this to get so out of control, or to hurt you the way I did—god, I know I hurt you and I screwed up and I’m so, _so_ fucking sorry, because all I ever wanted to do was keep you from getting hurt, and I know I did the exact opposite of that,” Blaine apologized, his breathy voice cracking. “And I know that all doesn’t excuse what I put you through, and if you’re still pissed, I get it. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I just… Karofsky is intense, and unpredictable and…” Tears pooled up in Blaine’s eyes and he looked into Kurt’s. “I was so _scared,_ Kurt. I was scared you’d come back to McKinley. When he hit you that day, I felt like I had failed you. You said I made you feel safe, and then I couldn’t even protect you from some idiot like Karofsky?”

“It’s not your job to protect me,” Kurt said gently. “That’s not why I love you.”

Blaine felt the knot in his throat double in size. 

“I love you because you’re _you_. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to return the favor… and I understand why you did what you did—I know I wasn’t exactly the most willing to compromise on the matter—but you can’t take the weight of a decision like that on your own, Blaine. Especially if it involves the both of us. If you ever really _do_ fall out of love with me, by all means—”

Blaine quickly cut him off, squeezing Kurt’s hand. “No. Never,” he assured him.

A shadow of a smile graced Kurt’s lips. “I just mean… in the future, this is something we need to decide together. A relationship involves two people, and I’m a person too. You have to let me make these decisions for myself, even if I make the “wrong” ones. I know you just wanted to protect me, but what I want matters, too. And I want you.”

Blaine ducked his head, trying to hide his tears, but Kurt lifted his chin and forced him to meet his gaze.

“I want you and the way you sometimes can’t shut up around my dad. I want the way you say the wrong things around him, but always know exactly what to say to me when I need it the most. I want the way your hand feels in mine, like it was made to hold it, fearlessly and forever. I want _you,_ Blaine. Okay?”

Before he knew it, Blaine was reaching out and cupping Kurt’s cheek, bringing them together at last.

As their lips glided familiarly along each other’s, Blaine felt a tidal wave of relief wash over him. _Finally, finally, finally,_ was all he seemed to be able to think. Finally, the light in his chest was burning bright, and he felt like he could breathe for the first time in a long time. 

Kurt moved his hand behind Blaine’s neck in an attempt to press themselves closer, as if that weren’t already impossible. Blaine opened his mouth wider, deepening the kiss as much as he could because he was never, never, ever, ever going to let go of the boy in his arms again.

“I missed that,” he mumbled, voice low when they finally pulled apart. “I’ve missed you. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Kurt replied breathlessly before wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck and pulling them together one more time. 

And that’s how Finn and Rachel found them nearly an hour later, wrapped up in each other's arms, tears finally dry and hearts on their way to healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My dearest Beta, Adri, worked absolute magic on this chapter, and for that i will never be grateful enough!
> 
> Blaine's Solo: Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith
> 
> HOPE YALL LIKED IT BC I NEVER IMAGINED THIS BEING ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHAPTERS BUT IT TOTALLY IS


	16. Born This Way: On The Right Track

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: LETS SEE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS BC AT THIS POINT I DONT KNOW
> 
> Thanks to my girl Adri who beta'd this chaper :)
> 
> This episode actually ended up being suuuuuper long, so i decided to split it. Part two will be coming tomorrow! (Or maybe even later tonight if i cant sleep again lol)
> 
> hope you enjoy now that the angst is over! :)

**_So here’s what you missed on Glee. The glee club’s getting ready for Nationals, and Quinn’s getting ready to be prom queen._ **

_ “Remember, vote Quinn Fabray for Prom Queen!” _

**_Santana’s got it bad for Brittany…_ **

_ “This relationship is really confusing for me.” _

_ “Breakfast is confusing for you.” _

_ “Well, sometimes it’s sweet and sometimes it’s salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner, then what is it?” _

**_Kurt left McKinley because Karofsky threatened him and then Blaine broke up with him so it was sort of a double whammy._ **

_ “I can’t expel a kid for shoving. He’ll just say, “I didn’t mean to shove that kid. I tripped.” Excuse works like a charm. I use it all the time.” _

**_So they weren’t talking for a while and then Kurt started dating this Sebastian guy but then this happened._ **

_ “I still love you. I never stopped.” _

_ “I love you, too.” _

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

_“He hit her in the face_?” Kurt’s voice rang from the other end of the line.

“Right on the nose, to be specific.” Blaine kept the phone pressed to his ear with his shoulder and used his hands to dig out sheet music from his binder for rehearsal. “I mean, it was an accident, but still. Finn’s a bad dancer, but I guess no one ever expected his dance moves to be  _ dangerous _ .”

Kurt let out a chuckle on the other end of the phone, and Blaine felt a mix of delight and a pang of sadness. It had only been a few days since they’d gotten back together, and they saw each other as often as they could, but Blaine still missed having Kurt on the New Directions.

“What about you?” he continued after a moment. “How are things with the Warblers?”

His boyfriend released a sigh from his lungs.  _ “Oh, you know, just prepping a set list to sing at the Senior’s graduation. We’re looking into some charity work, but… I do miss competition season. Speaking of, I know you have Glee rehearsal right now.” _

Blaine groaned, throwing his head back dramatically even though he knew Kurt couldn’t see him. “It doesn’t start for another,” he checked his watch, “two entire minutes, that’s plenty of time to chat.”

_ “I’m not going to enable you to be a tardy person, Blaine,”  _ Kurt teased.  _ “One of us has to win Nationals, and it’s not going to be you if you’re late to rehearsal because you’re busy talking to your boyfriend.” _

“It’d be an even trade.”

Blaine could practically hear Kurt’s ear-to-ear smile through the phone.  _ “Bye, B. Love you.” _

“Love you, too.”

Letting out a contented sigh, Blaine slipped his phone back into his pocket and strode into the choir room. Rachel was already there, front and center, nose bandaged up.

“Oh my God, you’re getting a nose job,” Quinn concluded just as Blaine took a seat next to her.

“I'm… considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum.”

Thirty seconds into “rehearsal” and things were already starting to get crazy. Blaine already missed his little bubble of Kurt time.

“So, a nose job,” Santana repeated.

“Look, I’m—I’m happy with the way that I look, okay? And I’ve embraced my nose. But let’s say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose… Like Quinn’s, for example. I-I would never change my appearance for vanity, but, I mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals.”

“Possibly? What about the risks? Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel,” Mr. Shue pointed out.

“Hold up,” Santana began, and Blaine could feel himself physically shrinking away from her. Nobody was safe when she was on a roll of insults. “Could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel’s got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn’t know because, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. 

“But can we all just stop lying about how there aren’t things that we wouldn’t change about ourselves? I mean, I’m sure that Sam’s been at the doctor’s office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction.”

Sam covered his mouth with his hand, and Quinn patted his back reassuringly.

“I’ll bet Artie’s thought about getting his legs removed since he’s not really using them anyways. And I’m definitely sure that Tina’s looked into getting an eye de-slanting.”

“That’s extraordinarily _racist_ ,” Tina snapped.

Santana leaned back in her chair and threw her hands out. “I’m keepin’ it real.”

“Sorry, Santana. I’m a beautiful person. I’m in love with myself, and I would never change a thing,” Tina retorted.

“Is that why you’re wearing blue contacts today, Tina?” Mike pointed out before mumbling, “Self-hating Asian.”

She threw a glare at him. “Not many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I’m just trying to be in fashion and mirror what I see in the magazines.”

“My dancing kind of bothers me,” Finn said. “Uh, it almost killed Rachel, but I like my body.”

“Oh, please. You have weird, puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they’re filled with custard.”

Sam leaned over and tried to get a better look at Finn’s nipples, earning a confused glance from Blaine. Finn slapped the blond away.

“You could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass for some sort of dessert. “

“I think I like the way I look,” Blaine mumbled, mostly thinking out loud, before realizing his mistake.  _ Oh here she comes, she’s coming for my height, I know it. _

“You’ve got a point there, Elijah Wood—”

“There it is,” he grumbled.

“You’re pretty attractive, but don’t act like you don’t have a whole vault of crazy locked deep down inside of you. We’ve all seen you blow up, you’ve got  _ issues,  _ my man. My point is, I don’t know why we’re all pretending we don’t have things about us we wouldn’t change.”

Blaine swallowed, wondering how Santana had the unnerving ability to pinpoint the one thing everyone was sensitive about. Of  _ course _ there were things Blaine would change about himself. He wished he wasn’t so damn sensitive all the time, wished he didn’t feel things so deeply. But he didn’t necessarily have the time to delve too deep into those thoughts at the moment, because he noticed Santana was still continuing with her jabs while Mr. Shue just stood with a disapproving smile as if  _ that _ passed for teaching.

“Whoa, guys. I’m really shocked at what I’m hearing here.” Blaine cocked his head to the side, wondering why all the terrible and racist things Santana said didn’t seem to catch their director’s attention sooner. “It goes against everything the glee club stands for. I’m telling you, the thing you would most like to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you.”

“Well, maybe,” Mercedes conceded. “But at this school, the thing that makes you different is the thing people use to crush your spirit.”

* * *

Kurt loved hanging out at Blaine’s, and not just because his mom let them have the door closed (which, really wasn’t entirely about the physical aspect of their relationship — it was just nice to be able to talk to each other privately, and have moments just for them). He liked looking around the room and seeing fragments of Blaine scattered throughout—a pair of boxing gloves hung on the bedpost, the piano pushed up against the wall with sheet music scattered on the stand of it, the cork-board filled with pictures of Blaine and various friends and family members.

Right now, though, he mostly just appreciated the firm and solid pressure of Blaine’s head resting on his chest, rising and falling in time as he took each breath. 

The thing he’d missed most about being with Blaine was the way that not every silence needed to be filled when they were together. They were comfortable to the point where being in each other’s presence was enough. 

Blaine angled his head to look at Kurt. “Are you getting bored?” he asked.

Kurt smiled and gently stroked his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. “With you? Never a dull moment.”

“Oh. Okay, ‘cause I was thinking that if you’re getting bored we could just go back to making out.”

He pretended to think it over for a second. “Hm, yeah. That’s a welcome suggestion.” Kurt dipped his head to meet Blaine, but a phone alarm stopped him.

Sighing, he checked his phone and saw the alert labeled:  **Babysitting** .

Shit. He had nearly forgotten that he’d offered to babysit while Sam was out delivering pizzas and his parents had the night shift. His dad had taken a part time job as a security guard at a construction site, and his mom had taken up teaching night school as well.

“Everything okay?” Blaine asked.

“Uh, yeah… yeah,” Kurt answered. “I just forgot we had an extra Warblers practice today.” 

Blaine knitted his eyebrows together. “On a Friday night?” 

“Um, yeah. We just, really have to nail down those nursing home performances! I’ll see you at the Lima Bean tomorrow, okay?” Kurt said with a quick peck to Blaine’s cheek. “Love you, bye!”

With that, he headed out the door before Blaine could even get the first syllables of a confused “Bye?” out of his mouth. He narrowed his eyes at the open door for a moment, wondering if Kurt was acting a little weird. He shrugged it off.

If something was going on, surely Kurt would tell him.

* * *

The next day, Kurt and Blaine and various other New Directions met at the Lima Bean as planned.

“You haven’t asked us anything about our New York trip,” Mercedes pointed out to Kurt. 

“Is it because it’s too painful?” Tina asked sympathetically.

Kurt responded with a teasing hum. “Yes, as a matter of fact, but while the New Directions are preparing to perform at Nationals, the Warblers are preparing to perform at a nursing home in a strip mall next to a national  _ bank.”  _ He let out a chuckle that showed he was equal parts happy for and envious of his friends before taking a sip of his coffee. “But I’m so proud of you guys.”

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand underneath the table. Kurt Hummel was now the only one of his friends who had never won a regional competition which, on top of not being able to see his friends and boyfriend everyday, was a huge bummer.

“We miss you so much,” Quinn said, eyebrows slanting upwards sympathetically.

“Isn’t there any way you could come back to McKinley?” Mercedes asked.

“I told him,” Blaine said. “I would be all for it if it wasn’t for Karofsky.” Kurt simply turned to look at Blaine with raised eyebrows until he got the message. “Oh, right,” he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Not that that’s uh, my decision to make.”

“There we go.”

Santana shook her head like she was coming out of a daydream. “Wait, what did you just say?”

“I’m working on not overshadowing Kurt’s agency in the relation—” 

She waved a frantic hand, cutting him off. “No, no, before that.”

“Oh,” Blaine cocked his head to the right. “I was just saying that I think Kurt needs to be safe.”

“Okay, can we please change the subject?” Kurt groaned. He’d heard enough spiels from Blaine and his dad about why he shouldn’t come back to McKinley.

Santana hummed thoughtfully before staring off into space again.

“So you two are officially back together, then?” Tina asked, heeding Kurt’s suggestion. He looked at Blaine, smiled, and squeezed his hand underneath the table before nodding. “So what’s the skinny on that? Why did you break up in the first place? Didn’t Blaine like, totally dump you? And didn’t you date someone else like three weeks ago? Hey, Mercedes, weren’t you super vocal about encouraging Kurt to go out with that Warbler guy—at least from what I gather from what you told me about that sleepover that I  _ wasn’t _ invited to—”

“Wait, what?” Blaine shook his head.

Mercedes’ jaw hung open uncomfortably for a few seconds.

Santana suddenly stood up, sending her chair scooting backwards and effectively distracting everyone. “I’ve gotta gay—go!” Her eyes went wide and she shook her head, correcting herself again. “ _ Go— _ I’ve got to go…” She left the Lima Bean in a hurry.

Kurt looked around the table with concern. “What… what was that about?”

Tina twisted her mouth. “Santana’s going through some stuff.”

* * *

Blaine sat in the lobby chair, staring blankly at the intake sheet in front of him. 

Name, age, parental guardian’s phone number, that was all the easy stuff. Behind the first page though, was the Family Medical History page, staring dauntingly back at him.

_ Check all that apply. _

Heart disease, cancer, diabetes? 

No, no, and no.

Alcoholism, Domestic Violence?

He knew that checking no would be a lie, but something—a strong and dreadful tugging in his chest—kept him from checking yes. Swallowing around his drying throat, he passed the clipboard to his mom sitting next to him. “I’m not completely sure about some of the family history stuff.” Even his whispered voice felt too loud in the clinically quiet waiting room. 

“Sure thing, honey.”

He saw the glimmer of recognition in her eyes when they skimmed over the familiar words, the momentary tension in her shoulders, before she quickly marked the appropriate boxes. She flipped the page back to the front and smiled reassuringly at him. “Did you need help with anything else?”

Times like these reminded him how much he not only loved, but admired his mom. He couldn’t even do something as simple as marking a stupid piece of paper with pen, but she could do freaking anything. He must’ve somehow missed out on the bravery genes.

“No, that’s it.” He painted on a smile he hoped felt genuine enough to her while she handed the papers back to the receptionist.

A few minutes later a kind looking woman stepped out from an open hallway and called out Blaine’s name. 

He gave his mom a look that was begging,  _ Save me, _ as he stood up.

His mom gave his hand one last comforting squeeze. “This is going to be good for you, I promise.”

With a defeated sigh, he followed the woman down the hall. She lead him into a room with a couch and a few comfortable looking chairs. “Make yourself comfortable, have a seat wherever you’d like.”

He took a seat on a soft chair with armrests on it, liking the way it surrounded him like a mini cocoon. 

“I’m Dr. Martin. Is there any other name you’d like me to call you besides the one you wrote down?”

He shook his head. “Um, no. Blaine is fine.”

“So, Blaine. This is just a preliminary session, just so we can get to know each other. Then, we’ll have another session later this week, and once a week from then on. Sound good?”

He nodded. 

“Alright. Let’s start with why you’re here today.”

“If I can be frank,” he began. “I’m really here to appease my mother.”

“You don’t think you need to be here?”

Blaine opened his mouth to say no, but that felt too close to lying for his comfort. “I think… everybody goes through trials and tribulations in their lives, and I’ve been handling mine just fine. There’s nothing to handle, actually. I have a great mom, I do really well in school, a boyfriend who loves me, plenty of friends.”

“Why do you think your mom wanted you to see me?”

Blaine’s throat went dry at the thought of having to point out his flaws himself. “It’s uh, kind of a long story.”

“I’d like to hear it, if you’re willing to share it.”

He drew in a deep breath, and it all came pouring out of him. From the Sadie Hawkins dance to his dad to Langanthal and Karofsky to the break up, all of which led to his mom finding out and suggesting he come here. 

Dr. Martin sat back and listened carefully the entire time. 

“It sounds to me like your mother is worried you don’t love yourself.”

Blaine felt his eyes start to water, but laughed and said, “Does anyone  _ really _ love themselves, though?” Because it was easier than saying,  _ There's not much to love. _

Dr. Martin responded, “Yes.” Simple and sure.

“I…” He tried to swallow down his beating heart and opened his mouth, unsure of what even was to come out. 

When it was clear he wasn’t going to speak anytime soon, she spoke again. “Within the past two weeks, have you had feelings of intense guilt, or hopelessness?”

It took a moment, but Blaine reluctantly answered. “I… guess so. Actually, yeah. Like a lot,” he shrugged dismissively. “But I don’t think much of it since I kind of feel like that all the time.”

She hummed thoughtfully and scribbled something down on her clipboard. “And do you have trouble falling or staying asleep, or maybe sleeping too much.”

“I mean, recently, a little. That comes and goes in waves. It was really at its peak last year, when my dad was in town.”

‘What about thoughts that you’re a failure or have let you or your family down?”

His eyes widened, a little startled at how easily she was mapping out Blaine’s mind, something he struggled with himself at times. “Um, yeah. Almost constantly.”

She rolled over to her desk and fished out a paper from a portfolio. She gave him a handout entitled  _ Cognitive Distortions _ and briefly explained each one of them to him.

“I know you probably have a ton of homework from school, so when you get a chance, I want you to try and identify when you start using any of these distortions, okay?” 

Blaine nodded. Homework was easy. He was a good student, he could do assignments, follow instructions.

“It’s not going to be easy at first, but it’ll get better with practice. Depression can stem from a number of factors: chemical imbalance, traumatic events, being a Highly Sensitive Person, long periods of stress. But I think you’re going to do just fine.”

Blaine looked up at her, not quite comprehending what she meant.

“Depression?” he asked, mouth so dry he thought he might swallow his tongue. He felt a weird sort of existential panic starting to make him dizzy. “I can’t be depressed. I think I laugh just about every day.”

“Depression is more than just feeling sad, Blaine,” she explained. “It’s prolonged feelings of hopelessness, not being able to get out of bed in the mornings, losing interest in things that bring you joy. It’s more common than you’d think, especially in teens and young adults.”

“I don’t—I’m not…” he said, voice barely recognizable to himself.

“That’s fine,” she replied calmly. “We can talk more about why you don’t feel comfortable with the label on Thursday, but for now, let’s focus on identifying those distortions.”

* * *

When Mr. Shue wrote  _ Acceptance _ on the whiteboard in large letters, Blaine wished Kurt was here to make a quip about his usually ineffective lesson plans.

“Um, why is Ms. Pillsbury here?” Finn asked.

“She’s helping us out with this week’s assignment,” Mr. Shue explained. “Now, this is the only club at school that is represented by just about every race, religion, sexual orientation and clique, but many of you are still having a hard time with acceptance.”

“That’s crazy, Mr. Shue. We love each other,” Mercedes said. 

“I won’t deny that you accept each other, but you don’t accept yourselves. This week’s assignment has two parts. I want all of you to sing songs about accepting yourself for who you are: the best and the worst parts.”

“What’s the second part?” Blaine asked.

“Well, we’re going to do a group number by the queen of self-love…” Their teacher paused for dramatic effect. 

“Gaga.”

Everyone cheered excitedly. Last year’s Theatricality assignment had brought them all closer together, and even those who weren’t huge fans of Lady Gaga had found a soft spot for her.

“We’re going to perform her anthem to acceptance,  _ Born This Way _ .”

“Wait, I still don’t know why Ms. Pillsbury is here,” Finn pointed out.

The red-headed guidance counselor beamed at the students before heading over to a large machine covered with a sheet. “I’m here to help you with your costumes for the big number. Each of you will be issued a beautifully fitted white T-shirt. We will then use this letter press to write a word or a phrase that best describes the thing about you that you’re the most ashamed of or you’d like to change but you can’t because you were born that way, which is super terrific.”

“I want you to love those parts of you, you know, embrace them, wear them on your chest with pride,” Mr. Shue elaborated.

Mike looked confused. “Can you give an example?”

“Yeah.” Mr. Shue looked over at Ms. Pillsbury. “It’s the big moment.”

She pulled open her yellow button up sweater to expose the white shirt underneath that read  _ Ginger _ in big black letters.

“Being a ginger has plagued me my entire life.”

Blaine’s eyebrows shot up, eyes wide in surprise. He had just the tiniest feeling that this wasn’t quite what Mr. Shue had in mind.

“People say that I smell like copper, I can get a sunburn indoors at night, and according to recent legend, I have no soul, but I’m here to say that this very curse is what makes me unique.”

He looked around to see dubious expressions on the rest of the New Directions’ faces. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought her reveal strange, which was a welcome change from being the only person to ever notice the weird shit about the adults.

“Children, I claim my ginger hood before you today. I was born this way. Hooray. Hooray! Hooray!”

* * *

Blaine was walking towards his next class when a hand gripped his forearm and dragged him into an abandoned classroom. “Wha—”

“I have a big problem,” Quinn said, frantically whipping out her phone. 

Blaine didn’t even have time to ask what was happening before his best friend started rambling off at a million miles a minute.

“That Lauren Zizes wrestling girl is running for prom queen, which normally, I wouldn’t be worried about because nobody really knows who she is, but I got  _ this _ text—” she flashed her phone at him. “From her. It says she knows I’m hiding something—something I don’t want everyone to know—and that it would be a shame if it was tagged on every single one of my prom queen campaign posters.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders firmly. “Slow down, Quinn,” he advised. “Deep breath,” he drew in an intentionally long one so she could sync up with his breathing.

After a few seconds, he looked into her panic filled green eyes. “I think Zizes is going to out me unless I drop the campaign.”

“Oh, fuck,” Blaine muttered. 

“God, this sucks!” she cried. “It’s the one event every little girl looks forward to her entire life.”

“What about getting married?”

Quinn scoffed. “You can get married as many times as you want; you only get _one_ shot at junior prom… and I’m not even going to get to run for Prom Queen.” She expelled a breath from her lungs, deflating a bit. 

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “This is important to you, huh?”

She crossed her arms and leaned back on a vacated desk. “Yeah… logically, I know that a crown is just some meaningless symbol, especially when I have friends like you and the New Directions. But my mom hasn’t been this excited about something since the chastity ball I didn’t get to go to last year for  _ obvious _ reasons.”

“Okay,” Blaine mumbled, gears already turning in his head, hoping to figure out some way out of this sticky situation. “Maybe we could talk her out of it.”

Her green eyes flashed, half amusement at Blaine’s naivety, half doubt. “Her parents sued the school so she could be on that wrestling team—which, as a woman, power move and respect—but something tells me having a nice chat with her isn’t exactly going to change her mind.”

Blaine’s mouth upturned into a mischievous smirk. “Then maybe we’ll have to find some sort of dirt on our own.”

Her eyebrows shot up, intrigued. “Blackmail her back? How do you intend to do that?”

“I have my sources. I know people.”

“You’re going to ask Puck for help aren’t you?” she deadpanned.

He threw his hands out in defeat. “You couldn’t let me have this one chance to be dark and mysterious?”

She snorted. “Yeah, because the bow-ties and loafers  _ totally _ completed that look.”

* * *

Mr. Figgins stood in front of the choir room, desperately trying to get a word in amongst the riled up students. “Okay, listen, I’m all—That’s all I’m asking for. Let me finish. Excuse me. Quiet!”

“No!” Puck growled.

_ “Quiet, _ okay?”

“We don’t care what he has to say,” Finn shouted.

“Now, I know David has had some issues in the past, but I have great respect for what he’s doing right now, and I ask you to hear him out. Thank you.”

Blaine sat in the front row, silently seething in his chair, blood boiling in his veins as he fixed his gaze on Karofsky, like if he could focus hard enough, the lineman would spontaneously combust.

Nobody knew.

Nobody knew the extent of  _ hell _ Karofsky had put Kurt through. The terror he instilled, the bruises he left, and here he was, using that to his advantage to… to do  _ what,  _ exactly? 

At this point, Blaine didn’t even care. Karofsky had a chance to turn over a new leaf after the Championship game and turned it down. He didn’t care what he had to say now.

He just kept staring at Karofsky, to let him know that even if by some miracle on earth, he managed to fool everyone else in the room, Blaine knew the truth. 

“How ‘bout we punch his face in?” Sam suggested.

Now  _ there _ was an idea Blaine could get behind.

“Right,” Mercedes agreed.

“Okay, that’s enough, guys. Everyone listen up,” Mr. Shue instructed. The glee clubbers obliged, despite the fact that nobody really wanted to.

Karofsky looked around the room, a bit nervously, before making the mistake of meeting Blaine’s hardened stare. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“First, I just want to say how sorry I am for what I did to Kurt and for what I’ve done to a lot of you,” he began. “I think I’ve slushied every one of you… I treated Kurt the worst, and I’m really ashamed of who I am and what I did.”

“Why should we believe you?” Puck asked.

He had a point, Blaine internally agreed. Karofsky’s “apology” was robotic and impersonal, like it was someone else speaking through him.

“You don’t have to. I know I’ll need to earn your trust. All I can say is that Santana has really helped me to see the light.” At this revelation, everyone exchanged wary and confused glances. “She showed me all these stories online about kids jumping off of bridges and hanging themselves because they were being bullied so bad. I couldn’t believe someone could make another person feel that awful, but she helped me accept that I was one of those bad people, and I don’t want to be anymore.”

“Wait. Santana?” Quinn asked, bewildered.

Her head high, Santana strutted up to the front of the room, to Karofsky’s side.

“This Glee Club is not complete. Not without Kurt,” she said. Blaine’s heart ached with the truth of that. “So I’ve taken it upon myself to try to rehabilitate Dave to see if maybe Kurt would consider coming back and help us win Nationals. I did this for us… and then something funny happened,” she reached down and intertwined their fingers and Blaine had to try ridiculously hard to keep himself from making a horrified face. “Something…called love.”

“I’m going to barf,” Tina muttered.

Puck  _ actually _ gagged. 

“I want Kurt to feel safe to come back.”

_ Why on earth? _ Blaine thought, unable to put the pieces of this really,  _ really _ freaking weird puzzle together.

“Which is why Santana and I have started a new club–The Bully Whips.”

“The name was my idea.” Santana was practically beaming with pride. “We’re going to be like guardian angels.”

“I have deputized David and Santana and the rest of their club to roam the halls, identifying bullying and stopping it in its tracks,” Figgins explained. 

Blaine’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. The principal deputized two of the meanest people in this school? God, he almost missed Sue as principal.

“I’m planning on reaching out to Kurt personally, through Principal Figgins, to try to make amends. This is a chance to really change this place. I hope you can support us,” Karofsky concluded.

The bell rang and dismissed them, Santana and Karofsky walking out together, still hand in hand.

Blaine slung his backpack over his shoulder and trotted after them. This was getting too weird for his taste. He needed answers.

“Hey,” he called after them.

They swiveled around, still hand in hand. Santana had a million dollar smile on her face while Karofsky’s melted into a nervous frown.

“Teen gay!” Santana called, way too chipper. “Is there a bullying issue you would like the Bully Whips to address?”

Blaine folded his arms across his chest, glaring right through Karofsky. “Not recently, considering your chairman was my biggest harasser.” He turned his gaze back to Santana. “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this with  _ him _ ?”

Her smile broke for a split second, but she quickly recovered. “What are you talking about? I’m simply in love with my  _ boyfriend—”  _ she craned her neck backward towards the hallway filled with passing students and shouted the word. “That’s right, Santana Lopez is dating David Karofsky, and we are  _ both  _ running for prom court!”

Blaine rolled his eyes. There was one answer.

“And I swear to god, Karofsky, if this is some sick and twisted plot to try and get Kurt back so you can keep fucking with him—”

“It’s not,” Santana said sternly. “I wouldn’t let that happen. I wear the pants in this relationship, and believe it or not, I don’t want my boyfriend slamming yours into lockers anymore than you do.” 

“I just want you to be sure you know what you’re doing…” He gave a hard look at Karofsky, who averted his eyes. “And who you’re dealing with.”

“I do. Don’t worry.” She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder. “Trust me, Anderson. I’ve got everything under control.”

* * *

“You’re awfully quiet,” Kurt said softly to his dad. 

Finn, Kurt, and Blaine sat on the couch in the Hudson-Hummel living room while Carole and Burt sat on the loveseat.

“I’m thinking.” he replied.

The silence between the five of them made Kurt’s heartbeat thump loudly in his ears. Blaine and Finn had filled him in on Karofsky’s plans to meet with Kurt, and Kurt had never been so excited and terrified at the same time.

“Is this a conversation you even wanna have with him, Kurt?” his dad asked.

“Yes,” Kurt replied with a brisk nod.

“Wait,” Finn said, head shaking with utter disbelief. “Tell me you’re not buying into this.”

“People change,” Kurt said. He really did believe that, and he hoped to god Karofsky’s proposal was genuine, because he missed the New Directions like crazy. “You did.”

His brother gaped at him. “I know I’ve made some mistakes, but I never threatened your life. This guy did.” He turned to Blaine for support. “Come on, Blaine, back me up on this. We can’t let him do this.”

Blaine heaved a sigh and looked up at Finn. “I get where you’re coming from, Finn, I really do… But this is Kurt’s decision to make, not ours. So, while I’m just as weary as you are of trusting Karofsky, I support whatever Kurt wants.”

Kurt gave his boyfriend a grateful glance. “Thank you… Dalton is great, and I made some good friends there, but it’s just so…” he paused to search for the right words, his family waiting expectantly for his explanation. “ _ Boring,”  _ he finally said. “It’s all about blending in and looking the part and it’s exhausting. I feel like Kurt Hummel Lite when I’m in that uniform. The other day, I suggested we raise our arms for a finale and it sparked a thirty minute debate. Is it any wonder we lost Regionals? I’m honestly shocked we made it that far… On top of that, there hasn’t been even a  _ single  _ pregnancy scandal.”

A snort came from across the room and Finn turned to give Carole—the source—a betrayed and appalled look. “Oh, come on, that was funny,” she giggled. She and Kurt exchanged quick smirks of camaraderie.

“It’s not where I belong,” Kurt continued. “My place is with the New Directions. I miss you guys so much.”

Blaine gripped his hand. “We miss you, too…”

“I couldn’t be there with you for Sectionals and Regionals, but I want to go to Nationals with you guys… I… I honestly don’t know if anything is going to come of this, but if Karofsky is offering an olive branch, I’m going to take it. It’s been a rough year, and I’m ready to come home.”

* * *

Finally, the day came, and Kurt and his dad sat in the principal’s office with Karofsky and his dad. “You know, you talk a great game, but all I’m hearing is talk, and talk isn’t going to keep Kurt safe,” Burt began.

“But the anti-bullying club that David started will. The fact is, since the club began enforcing the no-bullying rule, we haven’t had one incident,” Figgins pointed out.

“Yeah, and if I took all the water out of the ocean, it wouldn’t be wet anymore. The bullying stopped because your top offender stopped.”

“Mr. Hummel. Can I call you Burt?”

“Of course.”

“You remember how understanding I was about this when it all began. I didn’t come to David’s defense. I believed your son. That’s because the David I was seeing was not the young man I knew. The boy I raised was a Cub Scout. He was kind, he was a good citizen. I still don’t know what was going through his mind when all this bullying started, but I can tell you that the David I’m seeing now is my son, back again. This…this is real.”

“Do you have any idea how much stress this has caused my family?” Burt scoffed. “My son having to leave his friends. My wife and I spending money we don’t have on private school ‘cause of your son.”

“Burt, were you always so accepting of homosexuals? We’re the same age. I remember what we used to say about the gays when we were younger. Now, it’s taken us a long time to figure out what’s right. Why can’t you just allow David the couple months that it’s taken him to figure it out?”

“Because he said he’s going to kill my son!” he shouted.

“I never actually meant that, though,” Karofsky said timidly, still struggling to make eye contact with anyone in the room. “It’s just a figure of speech.”

_ Sure as hell didn’t feel like it,  _ Kurt thought, but held his tongue. If he wanted this to work, he had to play his cards right. He had been terrified then, but if he showed that now, well… his dad was already past his boiling point, and Kurt didn’t want to blow it.

“How’s he supposed to know that?”

While Paul seemed a bit at a loss for words, Mr. Figgins looked at Ms. Pillsbury. “This is exactly the reason we’ve brought in our guidance counselor to help mediate this meeting. 

“Right. Your words still matter, David,” she pointed out.

“I know. You have to believe how awful I feel about them. Those ones, especially. That’s not me.” Kurt couldn’t tell if the glimmer in Karofsky’s eyes was apologetic or scared. “Not anymore.”

“What do you think, Kurt?” Mrs. Pillsbury asked.

He took a moment before replying. "I believe he realizes what he did was wrong.”

“You’re only saying that because you want to be back in this school so bad.” Damn his dad, able to read him as well as those hunting and fishing magazines he loved so much.

He puffed out a quick sigh. “Can David and I speak for a moment alone? You can wait right outside in the hall.”

His dad and Ms. Pillsbury looked reluctant, but agreed.

The second the adults were out of the room, Kurt turned his icy glare onto Karofsky. “What’s your angle here?”

He saw panic in the offensive lineman’s eyes. “I’m just trying to make things right,” he said noncommittally.

“David, I know, remember? And I haven’t told anyone.”

“Why?” David asked, seeming a little exasperated. “It would have made your life a lot easier.” 

“I don’t believe in denying who you are, but I don’t believe in outing, either. But still, you owe me. The truth... What’s going on here?”

“It was Santana’s idea. She wants to be prom queen, so she figures, if we can get you back, we’ll get everyone to vote for us.”

Yep, sounded just like Santana. “I’m both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. Hmm. A Latina Eve Harrington.” David’s face lacked even the most remote understanding. “Okay, if you’re gonna be gay, you simply  _ must  _ know who that is.”

“Look, I don’t know for sure I am gay, okay? Stop being such a broken record,” he whined, somehow coming off simultaneously pathetic and aggressive.

“Okay, I have several options here. I could tell everyone the truth about you…”

“Dude, I said I’m sorry! You said you wouldn’t do that!” 

Kurt held up a hand. “Hold on…  _ Or  _ I can return here and marvel with pride at your new anti-bullying movement, which I fully believe in, and further demand that you and I start a chapter of PFLAG here at William McKinley. Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. You need to be educated, David. You may not have to come out, but you need to be educated.”

Karofsky slumped back in his chair. “Oh, man, just kill me now.”

Meanwhile, from the hallway, Blaine and Finn looked on from behind Burt, like twin worried mother hens.

“Oh god, I can’t believe he asked to be in there alone,” Blaine expressed. Actually, upon further thought, it was the most Kurt-like thing he could think of. Kurt was compassionate to a fault, and of course he would never tell a secret that wasn’t his. That’s probably what they were discussing right now.

“Just keep an eye on your brother,” Burt said, grabbing Finn’s shoulder.

“One step ahead of you.”

Kurt looked through the clear glass windows of the office, eyes lit with hope, and smiled.

* * *

“Yo, Blainers why are we all in the auditorium again?” Puck asked. “The last time we were here, Berry got hit in the schnozz.”

Rachel grimaced and gingerly touched her bandage.

Blaine hopped off from on top of the piano, unable to contain his excitement from manifesting in the form of a beaming grin. “Because it’s noon; that makes it official!” he sang, elated.

“Makes what official?” Artie asked.

They all turned their heads to the back of the auditorium as a familiar voice called out, “My transfer!” Kurt threw his arms out dramatically. “Kurt Hummel is back at McKinley!”

The New Directions all exploded into ecstatic cheers and ran to greet Kurt. They enveloped him in a bone-crushing group hug so tight and warm and comfortable that he couldn’t keep a tear from rolling down his cheek.

“No crying, no crying,” Santana soothed him from the middle of the bundle, crying herself.

“We love you,” Tina blubbered as well.

“We missed you, dude,” Sam said, lightly punching Kurt’s arm.

Kurt sniffed, but laughed. “Alright, alright! I love you all, too, but will someone let me through to see my beautiful, bushy-haired boyfriend?”

“You heard the man, move!” Puck ordered. 

The New Directions parted like the red sea, revealing the best thing he’d seen all day: Blaine standing on the stage, looking down at Kurt like he couldn’t believe he was really there.

“So, none of them know this,” Blaine said, tossing his head towards the other New Directions. “But I kind of have a welcome back number planned for you.”

The news was met with mixed reactions (groans and a “You always do this,” from Quinn and Santana, “Aw”s from Tina and Sam, and a cheer from Puck), but Kurt already knew his cheeks were going to be sore from smiling so hard. “From you, Blaine Anderson, I expected nothing less.”

Blaine’s face cracked into a wide, toothy grin that made his eyes crinkle at the edges. He practically skipped to the piano and Kurt felt the tears start up as soon as Blaine started playing the opening notes to the number.

**_I walked across an empty land_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I felt the earth beneath my feet_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Sat by the river and it made me complete_ **

**_Oh simple thing, where have you gone?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’m getting old and I need something to rely on_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So tell me when you’re gonna let me in_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_ **

As Mercedes draped an arm around his shoulders, leaning her head on them, Kurt couldn’t believe he’d ever thought of spending the rest of his high school years at Dalton. 

**_And if you have a minute, why don't we go_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_This could be the end of everything_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So why don't we go?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So why don't we go?_ **

Here, with Blaine and Mercedes and Finn and, yes, even Rachel… This was his place in the world. His home was with these people, and being here again felt right as rain.

**_This could be the end of everything_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So why don't we go_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Somewhere only we know_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Somewhere only we know_

Things were on the right track to being okay again.

**_Somewhere only we know?_ **


	17. Born This Way: Born To Survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: omggggggg there's only three chapters and an epilogues left i am on the verge of TEARS!!!
> 
> this chapter, as well as like anything i write lol, was beta'd by the very talented Adri! Have fun :)

**_Yes… everything’s as if we never said_ ** **_  
_** **_Goodbye_ **

**_We taught the world_ ** **_  
_** **_New ways to dream_ **

Kurt sang out the last note, leaving not a single dry eye in the room. The entire New Directions stood up and gave him hearty applause, complete with whoops and cheers.

He took a bow just as the bell rang, dismissing them. Blaine went bounding up to Kurt, throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him in for a quick kiss.

“That was amazing, Kurt!” He started tugging on his hand to lead the way to lunch, but Kurt stopped him.

“Hold on,” he explained. “I wanted to stay behind for a bit."

“For what?” Blaine questioned.

“Well, you’re always serenading me, I think it’s about time you share the spotlight and let me take a turn.”

Blaine dipped his head, huffing out a small laugh. “Not that I’m complaining, but you did just sing a solo for the glee club.”

“Exactly,” Kurt answered, face growing soft with fondness. “That was for the New Directions… _this_ is for you.”

The jazz band came in with a few strums of the guitar, and Kurt started [ singing. ](https://youtu.be/e5Z0eBjR7dc)

**_Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain_ ** **_  
_** **_She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane?"_ ** **_  
_** **_Say it's been a long 6 months_ ** **_  
_** **_And you were too afraid to tell her what you want_ **

**_Remind her how it used to be, be_ ** **_  
_** **_With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks_ ** **_  
_** **_Tell her how you must have lost your mind._ ** **_  
_** **_When you left her all alone, and never told her why_ **

**_And that's how it works._ ** **_  
_** **_That's how you lost the girl_ **

A smile tugged at Kurt’s lips just before he dove into the chorus.

 **_And then you say,_ ** **_  
_** **_"I want you for worse or for better_ ** **_  
_** **_I would wait forever and ever,_ ** **_  
_** **_Broke your heart, I'll put it back together._ ** **_  
_** **_I want you forever and ever."_ **

**_And that's how it works_ ** **_  
_** **_It's how you get the girl, girl_ **

**_And you could know (oh-oh oh oh)_ ** **_  
_** **_That I don't want you to go oh-oh…_ **

**_Remind me how it used to be._ ** **_  
_** **_Pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks._ ** **_  
_** **_And say you want me._ **

Blaine wiped at his eyes, but there was still a bright and overjoyed smile on his lips. 

**_And then you say,_ ** **_  
_** **_"I want you for worse or for better (for worse or for better),_ ** **_  
_** **_I would wait forever and ever,_ ** **_  
_** **_Broke your heart, I'll put it back together._ ** **_  
_** **_I want you forever and ever."_ **

**_And that's how it works_ ** **_  
_** **_It's how you get the girl, girl._ **

**_That's how it works._ ** **_  
_** **_That's how you got the girl._ **

* * *

“So let me get this straight,” Puck started. 

The glee club’s designated bad boy was leaning back on the teacher’s desk of an empty classroom, cutting an apple into chunks with a small Swiss Army knife. 

Blaine uncrossed his arms and pointed at the unusual cutlery. “Are you allowed to have tha—”

“You and my baby mama—”

“Please don’t call me that,” Quinn muttered.

“Want me to dig up some dirt on that wrestling chick so you can win prom queen?”

“Yes,” she confirmed.

Puck smirked at her. “She has something on you, doesn’t she?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“I mean, I’m always down for some good old fashioned sabotage, but what’s in it for me?”

Blaine opened his mouth to point out that Puck had just said that he was down with sabotage, but Quinn beat him to the punch by leaning over the desk and grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

“Listen here, Puckerman,” she growled through gritted teeth, all but pulling him across the desk. “I had to push a freaking baby out of my lady parts last year because of you. I used to have abs! If you used your bad boy charm to knock me up, you can use it to find something to shut Zizes up.”

Puck gaped at her. “I am weirdly turned on right now.”

With a scoff and a roll of her eyes, she released her grip, letting him fall against the desk. “Oof,” he cried when all the teacher’s nicknacks scattered across the desk.

“Alright, Fabray,” he said, dusting himself off. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Good,” she said.

Blaine pointed to the mess Puck had left on the random teacher’s desk. “Are you going to fix that?”

“No,” Puck said simply. “Mr. Sinacori gave me a F on our last exam, so I carved a dick into the side of his desk.”

* * *

“I’m seeing somebody,” Blaine blurted out.

Kurt lifted his head up from the outfit sketch he was working on for the Born This Way assignment and quirked an eyebrow at Blaine. “Are we about to break up again or...?”

Blaine shook his head. “No, I just mean... I’m... my mom made me see a therapist.”

“Oh. That’s so good… Isn’t it?”

He shrugged in response. “She thinks I have depression.” 

Blaine waited for Kurt to chime in with something to argue against that diagnosis, but instead what he got was a pause and a blink. “I’m glad you’re getting the help you need.”

“Do… do _you_ think I’m depressed?” Blaine asked, trying not to sound as defensive as he was coming off. 

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows in concern. “I don’t think I know enough about it to argue with a professional’s opinion, but if one gave you that diagnosis, it’s probably accurate. If a doctor told me I had strep throat, I would take his word for it.”

Blaine swallowed and looked down at his blank sheet of paper. He couldn’t decide what to put on his damn shirt. He was too busy thinking in circles about how he was definitely, one hundred percent, _not_ depressed.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair to loosen it. He ruffled it just a tad, trying to crack the gel. God, he wouldn’t need this much hair gel if his hair wasn’t so—he froze. Then broke out into a grin and scribbled something down on his sketch sheet.

He held it up to show Kurt. “I thought of something for my shirt.”

Kurt’s eyebrows met his hairline in his surprise. “Curls?” he questioned. 

Blaine laughed. “Yeah, though I could do Broccoli Head, Frodo, Mop Top. Santana has given me a lot to work with. I know it’s silly but I used to get insecure about them. Cooper got all the straight genes—of every kind. I used to get kinda down about the names he’d call me, but I grew to love them, especially since it’s really just a reminder of how much I look like my mom.”

Kurt’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and even his supportive nod didn’t feel all that genuine. He might’ve been able to fool anybody else, but not Blaine.

His smile dissipated. “What?”

“I just… in light of recent revelations, I thought you might put down something relating to mental health or your dad or even the Sadie Hawkins dance.”

“Nobody except you and Quinn know about those things,” Blaine said a bit defensively. “I can’t go and announce it to the world by plastering it on a shirt.”

“Well, it’s okay if it’s something no one else understands. Like if it’s just a phrase that means something to you.”

“I think if I wrote down _Basket Case_ or _Punching Bag,_ some of them might be able to piece things together.” Blaine tried to play the comment off as humorous, but when Kurt gasped, worry etched onto his face, he knew it had fallen short of that goal.

“Blaine, _no_. That’s not—I didn’t mean anything like that,” he explained. 

“Then what did you mean?”

“I… don’t even know. It’s not about me. It’s just a shirt, Blaine. Forget I even said anything.”

* * *

“How has your week been?” Dr. Martin asked.

“Good. Kurt is planning this whole flashmob thing for our friend Rachel to try and convince her to not get a nose job. It kind of ties in with this assignment in glee club where we have to write down a phrase or a word about something we wish we could change about ourselves but accept.”

“That’s interesting. What did you write down?”

“Well, I _was_ going to put Curls, but uh, my boyfriend didn’t seem very keen on the idea. He thought I should put something about my mental health or my dad.”

“And what do you think?”

He shrugged. “I think… there’s nothing I need to come to terms with, no underlying issues to address, really. It’s _not_ that big of a deal. I got beat up at my old school and my dad hit me. That’s all there is to it.”

She looked at him intently. “You experienced trauma, Blaine. You were a victim of a hate crime and child abuse. It’s okay to call it what it is.”

The words rang dissonant in Blaine’s mind, unsettling him from somewhere deep in his gut. They just didn’t line up with the way he wanted others to view him; or with the way he wanted to see himself.

“It doesn’t feel okay,” he said softly after a few seconds. “Because then it’s admitting… admitting that _I’m_ wrong. I’m messed up. And there are parts of me that will never be right because of them… What am I supposed to write on my shirt? Sad? Daddy Issues? I wasn’t _born_ with an abusive father. It’s not a part of _me_.”

“No, it’s not something you were born with. But is that really the reason you don’t want it on your shirt?”

Blaine’s stomach churned uncomfortably. “I guess… I guess I don’t want it on there because I’m—I’ve always had this weird sense of shame over it, this sort of cognitive dissonance about it. I don’t need another reason to not like myself, and my dad’s dad used to hit him and I don’t think he ever got over that and maybe that’s why he…” He cut himself off, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching his nose at the bridge, where he could feel pressure building. 

_Just one deep breath in, one deep breath out. Get the words out._

“I don’t want to accept that I might _still_ be damaged by all of this stuff, especially because I thought I was over it last year…”

“Healing isn’t linear, Blaine. It’s filled with ups and downs and highs and lows. Mountains and valleys.”

“That makes sense. I had been feeling fine this year, and then the whole Karofsky thing happened and all these negative feelings started snowballing. A few weeks ago was the worst I’d felt about myself in a long, _long_ time and I don’t… I don’t want to feel this way forever.”

“You won’t, but it’s time to accept that you need help.”

* * *

“Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why did you keep dad’s last name?” Blaine asked. “You’re not… like, still in love with him or anything, are you?”

She finally looked at him from the book she was reading. “Oh, honey, no.” She started reaching across the table to grab his hand.

“Then why?” He shrugged. “Don’t you hate him? Don’t you want to disconnect yourself from anything and everything he ever had to do with?”

“Of course I do, but…” Mary Anderson took a moment to formulate her thoughts, hoping to find a way to convey them to her son. Eventually she let out a sigh. “I won’t say I regret being in a relationship with your father—“

_“Mom—”_

“Because I got you and your brother out of it.” 

Blaine sat back in stunned silence for a moment. 

“Anderson is the name on your birth certificates, and it’s the name I want next to mine when your crazy fans Google your family tree one day.”

Her son’s mouth twitched up a tad, but she could tell she still hadn’t accepted her answer for the truth it was.

“I kept _your_ last name, Blaine. And yes, I want nothing to do with your father, but I want to be as connected to you as possible. I kept it because I love you more than I could _ever_ hate him.”

Blaine still sat in his chair, eyebrows furrowed and trying to process it all. His mom sighed. 

“What brought this on?” she finally asked.

He looked up at her, forehead wrinkled nervously. “I just… I want to distance myself from him as much as I can, and that includes getting over what he did. It’s just hard to do when everyone keeps trying to push the victim label on me, and I’m just so… so sick of it. I’m fine. I don’t know why people can’t let me be _fine.”_

“Because I don’t think you’ve accepted that it’s okay if you’re not yet.”

It hit Blaine like a truck, the realization that his mom was right. Because how on earth could he ever be okay with accepting the hell he’d been through for what it was? Because his dad went through it, too, and look what happened to him. Accepting the fact that he’s not okay was absolutely _not okay_. Taking on that label was the first step in becoming everything he hated about his father.

“So you think I’m a victim, too?” he asked, deflated. He didn’t meet her gaze while he fiddled with his straw.

“Oh honey, I don’t think you’re a victim,” his mom said. Blaine looked up at her curiously. “I think you’re a survivor.”

* * *

Blaine and Quinn strode through the hallway, on their way to pick up their significant others and walk with them to glee rehearsal. 

“Fabray,” a commanding voice called out.

They both whirled around to see Lauren Zizes, one of the opposing candidates for Prom Queen, arms folded across her chest, her stance wide and confident in the middle of the hall.

“Did you really think Puckerman, of all people, could have picked up anything on me?”

They gaped at her for a moment before, with a roll of her eyes, she tossed her head towards an empty classroom. “Discuss this in private, shall we?”

Quinn seemed hesitant to follow her. 

Lauren raised an eyebrow. “Unless you’d rather we talk about it out here.”

“No,” she said shortly. Blaine followed them both into the classroom, where he and Quinn took a seat.

“I still can’t get over the fact that you thought Puckerman was the man for the job,” she chuckled condescendingly. “You’re really not great at this whole blackmail thing. All he found out was that I was the constant frontrunner for these toddler pageants. Then I asked him his price and he said he’d drop it if I helped him spike the punch at prom.

“It’s tragic, really,” Zizes continued. “We could have settled this civilly, with you dropping out of the race for Prom Queen. But you just had to go and send someone after me, didn’t you? Good thing I’m an open book. And, as I’ve recently learned, you’re not… maybe you should be. Show the voters who you really are.”

“Lauren, please don’t do this,” Quinn begged. “I haven’t even told my mo—”

“Save it, Barbie,” Zizes said, holding up a hand to silence her. “It’s already too late.”

Blaine’s stomach dropped about fifteen stories, and he heard Quinn give out a strangled noise of despair. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” she asked cautiously.

“You might wanna check the main hallway. I had my wrestling buddies put up some posters while we were having this little chat.”

The chair scraped hard against the ground as Quinn flew out of it and bolted for the main hallway. Blaine chased after her, heart pounding in his chest.

He was about to watch as his best friend was outed. He didn’t know much about Luaren Zizes, but he never imagined her to be _this_ malicious. God, he hated Karofsky more than anyone else in the school, but would never think about doing this to him. He, quite literally, would never wish this on his worst enemy.

Quinn rounded a corner and Blaine followed, grabbing on to the edge of the wall to harness his momentum into a sharp turn. She’d already gained a decent lead on him, so by the time he caught up with her, she was standing in front of one of her campaign posters, head in her hands.

When she finally lifted her head, Blaine could see her face was red from… _laughing._ He furrowed his eyebrows and followed her gaze to the poster she was giggling at. It showed a preteen girl with medium brown hair, large round classes, and a bad case of acne.

“Oh…” he exhaled, mildly surprised. “Is that you?”

“Shut up,” she mumbled, still holding back a laugh.

“You look really good,” Blaine said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

“One of these days your sarcasm is going to push me over the edge, and I will not be held liable for any injuries.” Her shoulders sagged with relief. “I can’t believe I thought she was going to…” 

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked carefully, relieved when Quinn smiled like a weight had been lifted off her. 

“Yeah, I’m great, actually. I mean, at least I don’t look like _that_ anymore. God bless nose jobs and Proactive.”

He slung an arm over her shoulder. “Even if you did still look like that, you know we’d all still love you, right.”

“Doubt it,” she muttered. _“I_ didn’t even love myself when I looked like that.”

“And did you love yourself when you changed everything?”

She twisted her mouth to one side. “Well… no, I guess not. Not really until last year. Still, I don’t know why anyone would want to be associated with _that.”_

A playful smirk slowly grew on Blaine’s face and he whirled around in the hallway, cupping his hands together. He shouted out, “Hey everyone!” Heads turned and people stalled in the hall as he pointed to the poster. “That girl on that poster is my best friend in the entire world! You should vote for her for Prom Queen!”

“Oh, my _god,”_ she squealed through her laughter, tugging his arms towards the choir room. “You are the worst.”

 _“Quinn Fabray for Prom Queen!”_ he called out one final time, earning another bout of laughter.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get to rehearsal.”

* * *

The next day, Blaine stood backstage behind the McKinley auditorium and took a deep breath in. He could do this. The T-shirt was just the first step, and would be the hardest part, but he could _do_ this.

Quinn knocked her shoulder against his. “You okay?” she asked. “You’re spacing out pretty hard.”

He snapped himself back to the real world. “Yeah, I’m good.” He broke out into a grin when he saw her shirt with _Lucy Caboosey_ written on it. “I like your shirt. Gucci?”

“I’m going to fight you one of these days, Anderson.”

“Well, good luck, because we both know I taught you everything you know.”

She snorted a laugh and after a few seconds of comfortable silence, said, “I told Sam.”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “About… your sexuality?”

She nodded. “I shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was really, really cool about it.”

“Why now?”

“I think, when I was freaking out about Zizes possibly outing me, after we realized she didn’t know… I felt relieved, but not relieved that nobody knew. I felt relieved because it meant that I could tell people on my terms—or at least the people I care about. And I realized that I didn’t wanna keep this part of myself from the guy I love anymore.”

He pulled her in for a tight hug. “I’m happy for you, Q.”

“Yeah, now the only important person left to tell is my mom.”

Just as they pulled away and she waved him off to go chat with Sam, Kurt came energetically running up to Blaine. “What do you think?” He flayed the sides of his flannel sweater out to reveal _Likes Boys_. 

Blaine beamed. “I think it’s amazing, but we are going to have to change that plural to a singular.” 

Kurt chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “What did you end up writing on yours?”

It was the moment of truth for Blaine. He pulled open his jacket to expose his shirt.

Kurt stared down in awe at Blaine’s shirt. “I know it’s not as on the nose as everyone else’s, but it seems to make sense to me. I wasn’t destined to be beaten down at every turn I took, but I was made to get through this life, no matter what it takes. I didn’t want to admit that I’d even gone through anything, because that meant admitting that they broke me. But I’m not broken. I never have been, and I think I’m finally starting to believe that.”

Kurt clapped a hand over his mouth and sniffed, tears of pride pooling up in his eyes as he read the word scrawled across Blaine's chest. 

_Survivor._

“Unless it’s stupid,” Blaine continued, suddenly worried. “I do have a backup shirt that has _Borat_ written in black sharpie in case I got cold feet—”

He was cut off by Kurt yanking on the front of Blaine’s shirt and pulling them together, hoping it was possible to radiate pride from a kiss.

They pulled away, Blaine looking a bit dazed. “That um, was an unexpected but welcome surprise,” he said, grinning goofily.

“I’m just… really proud of you,” Kurt managed. “What changed?”

Blaine shrugged, wrapping his fingers around Kurt’s hands and swinging them lightly between their bodies. “I was talking with my mom, and I just thought… if someone could love me enough to… god, I can’t even explain it. I asked her why she kept my dad’s last name, and she just said that she kept _my_ last name.” He paused and took in a little breath. “I’ve always known my mom loves me, that’s a god given. But… I guess I never understood how much, and…” His throat closed up, an emotional sob threatening to surface. “And if she sees me this way, well, I think I can try to see myself that way, too.”

Kurt moved in for another kiss before Mr. Shue hopped up on the stage and called for their attention.

“All right, guys. Listen up. You all did really good this week. It was tough, but I think we came closer as a team and I’m proud of you. And now, I’d like to be the first one to show off my custom T-shirt, revealing something I was self-conscious about in the past, something I was born with, something I’ve come to accept about myself this past week. So, drumroll, Finn.”

Mr. Shue unzipped his jacket to reveal a shirt with _Buttchin_ written on it.

“I like your chin, Mr. Shue,” Mercedes said.

“Yeah, I would’ve went with _Tears up a lot,”_ Tina said. Everyone mumbled in agreement or laughed.

“Is everyone here?” he asked.

“Not everybody,” a disembodied voice announced. From the back of the auditorium, Rachel stepped forward. “I wanted to thank you guys for my Barbravention. And I have an announcement to make. I went to my doctor and… I canceled my appointment. And then I went home and I made this.” She unveiled her shirt with _Nose_ written on it and the rest of the glee club cheered supportively. “So, unfortunately I can’t join in on today’s dance number. My doctor said I have to stay away from vigorous choreography while my nose heals. So thanks for being patient. And, Finn, next time, watch out for the schnoz.”

“Where’s Santana?” Artie asked.

“Probably off somewhere making out with Karofsky,” Puck muttered, making a disgusted face.

Mr. Shue shrugged and pointed to the jazz band. “Hit it!”

 **_It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M_ ** **_  
_** **_Just put your paws up_ ** **_  
_** **_'Cause you were born this way, baby_ **

As soon as the beat dropped, Tina and Mercedes threw out the flaps of Kurt's flannel jacket to reveal his chosen phrase.

 **_My mama told me when I was young_ ** **_  
_** **_We are all born superstars_ ** **_  
_** **_She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on_ ** **_  
_** **_In the glass of her boudoir_ **

**_"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"_ ** **_  
_** **_She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"_ ** **_  
_** **_"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,_ ** **_  
_** **_Listen to me when I say"_ **

**_I'm beautiful in my way_ ** **_  
_** **_'Cause God makes no mistakes_ ** **_  
_** **_I'm on the right track, baby_ ** **_  
_** **_I was born this way_ ** **_  
_** **_Don't hide yourself in regret_ ** **_  
_** **_Just love yourself and you're set_ ** **_  
_** **_I'm on the right track, baby_ ** **_  
_** **_I was born this way_ **

Blaine joined in on the choreography, watching as various glee club members revealed their shirts. 

_Can’t Dance, No Weave, I’m With Stoopid, Brown Eyes._

**_Oh there ain't no other way_ ** **_  
_** **_Baby I was born this way_ ** **_  
_** **_Baby I was born this way_ ** **_  
_** **_Oh there ain't no other way_ ** **_  
_** **_Baby I was born this way_ ** **_  
_** **_I'm on the right track, baby_ ** **_  
_** **_I was born this way_ **

Kurt took center stage, staying in time with the choreography while he took over the bridge.

 **_Don't be a drag, just be a queen_ ** **_  
_** **_Whether you're broke or evergreen_ ** **_  
_** **_You're black, white, beige, chola descent_ ** **_  
_** **_You're Lebanese, you're orient_ ** **_  
_** **_Whether life's disabilities_ ** **_  
_** **_Left you outcast, bullied, or teased_ ** **_  
_** **_Rejoice and love yourself today_ ** **_  
_** **_'Cause baby you were born this way_ **

**_No matter gay, straight, or bi_ ** **_  
_** **_Lesbian, transgendered life_ ** **_  
_** **_I'm on the right track baby_ ** **_  
_** **_I was born to survive_ ** **_  
_** **_No matter black, white or beige_ ** **_  
_** **_Chola or orient made_ ** **_  
_** **_I'm on the right track baby_ ** **_  
_** **_I was born to be brave_ **

With a smile, Blaine peeled off his jacket and flung it to the side of the stage, Kurt looking at him proudly from across the stage. ****

 **_I was born this way hey!_ ** **_  
_** **_I was born this way hey!_ ** ****_  
_**_I'm on the right track baby_ ** **_  
_** ******_I was born this way hey!_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed this! Honestly, this last batch of chapters are some of my favorites!
> 
> Kurt's Solo: How You Get The girl by Taylor Swift


	18. Rumours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HOOOOO BOY HAVE FUN Y'ALL
> 
> Huge thanks to Adri! This chapter would have been... very different and I think not as enjoyable if not for her wisdom and insight
> 
> :)

**_Here’s what you missed on Glee_ **

_ “Kurt Hummel is back at McKinley!” _

**_Kurt’s back at McKinley and he and Blaine are back together._ **

**_Sam’s dating Quinn, who used to date Finn, who’s dating Rachel, who isn’t too happy about the fact that Quinn kissed Finn a while back. Not because she’s still into him, but because she was figuring some stuff out._ **

_ “I told Sam.” _

_ “Told him what?” _

_ “That I’m bilateral.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “This is glee, I literally can NOT say the word bicycle.” _

**_Quinn, that is._ **

**_Santana’s in love with Brittany, but she’s too scared to say it out loud._ **

_ “You told me you were in love with me.” _

_ “I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.” _

**_And Britt’s back with Artie anyways. Kids these days._ **

_ “I have a question!” _

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

_ Fondue for two, for two. That’s some hot dish! Fondue for two! _

The laptop was warmer in Blaine’s lap than Kurt’s hand was in his own, his eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion. 

“Is there a reason you wanted us to see this?” Sam asked, looking up at Mercedes and Tina.

“Brittany gave Tina and I a rough cut of the episode and…” she pursed her lips. “We thought you and Quinn should see it before it airs today.”

“We tried to get Santana in on it, but when we said we had something she wanted to see she told me that unless it was a video of me contracting that weird Asian bird flu, she wasn’t interested.”

“Yep. Sounds like Santana,” Quinn muttered.

The (really weird) video went on to show Tina, Mercedes, and Brittany… well, eating fondue and gossiping. 

Tina’s face flushed red when she saw herself, on-screen, wag a finger and say,  _ “I’d just like to say that the rumor about Asian men… not true.” _

Finally, Brittany said,  _ “I heard a rumor that Santana plays for the other team. Quinn plays for both teams. I can confirm that rumor is a hundred percent true. Well, maybe like, forty percent true for Quinn… she definitely seemed more conflicted.” _

Quinn froze, letting out what Kurt could only describe as a whimper, eyes fixed on the screen. Sam put a hand on her back and started rubbing small circles on it.

Kurt was the first to break the stunned silence, not exactly sure why everyone was getting so worked up about some gossip. “It’s just a rumor, Quinn. You can—”

“It’s not just a rumor, though,” she admitted, still staring at the computer. 

_ Oh, _ Kurt thought.

“Whomp, there it is,” Mercedes mumbled to herself.

It seemed that was all it took for it all to come tumbling out of Quinn. 

“It’s not just a rumor because I actually  _ am _ bi, and I’m not ashamed of it or anything, but it’s all new to me too and it  _ sucks _ that I went through all the trouble of figuring it out this semester and I’m not even going to get to tell people on my own terms!”

Another moment of silence, and then Kurt’s brain kicked into problem-solving mode. “I mean,  _ Fondue for Two _ only has six subscribers, and I’m pretty sure half of them are the AV club that Artie forced to. I’m sure nobody will even see it.”

* * *

A lot of people saw it.

So many, in fact, that it was even written about in the Muckraker.

Santana came storming into rehearsal the next day, a copy of the it in her hands. 

“This is all your fault!” she yelled, pointing at Brittany.

“Santana, calm down,” Quinn said, holding up her hands. Santana still seemed restless, like a bull in a China shop. “Britt already explained what happened. She was talking about how we quit Cheerios to join glee club, and how I’m in the celibacy club  _ and _ the New Directions.”

“And she couldn’t have thought of any other way to phrase that!?”

“It was an accident,” Quinn insisted. “Let’s show her some grace, maybe?”

“Oh don’t act like your life is so perfect when your Trouty Mouth boyfriend is hooking up with some hussie in a motel room on the side!”

As if the conversation hadn’t been heated enough, that certainly caught Blaine’s attention. And apparently Kurt’s, too, as Blaine felt his boyfriend’s hand go stiff in his own.

“What?”

“That’s not true!” Sam defended himself, fervently shaking his head.

“Oh yeah?” Santana crossed her arms and lifted a hand to read the newspaper. “Listen to this from the Blind Items Column: What big lipped blondie is having a secret motel rendezvous with a mysterious stranger?”

Sam turned to Quinn. “You can’t honestly believe that.”

“I don’t,” she said firmly.

“Why shouldn’t she?” Santana asked. “Why  _ wouldn’t _ you go and get a little side action of your own when Quinn strayed from your luscious lip locking to plant one on the guy who was dumb enough to believe he knocked her up via hottub?”

“Oh, will you let it go already!” Finn groaned.

“Sam wouldn’t do that,” Blaine defended him. “He’s not a liar.”

“I would also like to not be reminded of my boyfriend’s wandering eye.”

“Stay  _ out _ of this, Rachel!”

“Listen,” Kurt spoke up. “Sam is not cheating on anyone, alright!” Blaine was busy staring adoringly at Kurt coming to his friend’s aid, that he completely missed the mildly panicked look Sam sent his way. “That’s not who he is.”

Santana glared down at Quinn. “Well, I guess we never really know anybody as well as we think we do, do we?” 

With that, she threw the newspaper at the risers and turned around. 

“But we have rehearsal!” Mr. Shue cried after her. 

“Not today,” she said, and stormed out.

* * *

After Mr. Shue had invited April Rhodes back (yet again) to sing a weirdly sexual version of  _ Dreams _ with him for the glee club, he’d informed them about how the Rumours album was made to keep Fleetwood Mac from falling apart. Then, he instructed them to take a song from the album and put their own spin on it in an attempt to get the New Directions to work through their lies and backstabbing (his words, not Blaine’s).

“Honestly, I don’t see the point of this assignment anymore,” Blaine admitted. “He and April took the best song for themselves and stripped it of its full harmonies to make it a duet. Where’s the musical integrity in that?”

Most of the members of the McKinley Glee Club had congregated in the Lima Bean, though their seating arrangements were.... unorthodox.

Kurt, Blaine, Sam, and Quinn occupied one table. Brittany and Santana sat at a small table together, noticeably without Artie there to join them. Mercedes, Tina, Mike, and Artie sat together, while Finn, Rachel, and Puck sat at another table.

“I’m not quite so sure Mr. Shue has the luxury of focusing on music when half the club is at each other’s throats,” Kurt said. “And things are only getting more heated since Brittany and Artie broke up. Surprisingly enough, I thought they’d last longer than this.”

“Me, too,” Sam admitted. “I hate how everything is…  _ changing _ so much. Glee club is supposed to be the one thing that stays consistent.”

Quinn and Blaine chuckled, both of them missing the sympathetic glance Kurt shared with Sam. 

“Babe, the New Directions are anything but consistent,” Quinn pointed out.

“The only thing we’re consistent about is coming up with our competition setlists the day before,” Blaine added. “But I get what you mean. All these rumors are kind of… shifting things. Testing relationships. I don’t really like it either.”

Kurt reached across the table, smiling fondly and taking Blaine’s hand. “Well, I think if there’s one constant the glee club can count on from now on, it’s us,” he said. He leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Blaine’s smiling lips.

When they pulled away, Blaine jumped in surprise at seeing Rachel standing behind his boyfriend.

“Hey guys!” she said in that annoyingly bright and chipper way of hers, waving a too-stiff hand. She looked at Kurt and Sam, her gaze hardening almost imperceptibly. “Kurt. Sam. I’m sure you two certainly won’t mind if I steal your significant others for a moment, would you?”

Kurt narrowed his eyes at her. “Something tells me we don’t really have a choi—”

“Great, awesome. Blaine, Quinn. A word?”

The pair followed Rachel to a secluded corner and she wasted no time in sharing her thoughts. “As you and the rest of the glee club are aware, your boyfriend was the subject of the Muckrakers Blind Items Column.”

Quinn huffed and folded her arms across her chest. “And? It’s just a bunch of cheap gossip.”

_ “And,”  _ Rachel shot back a glare at her for daring to interrupt her big reveal. “I know who he’s cheating on you with.”

The blonde went totally still. “Sam’s not cheating on me,” she said, just a little too firmly, like she was trying to convince herself of that, too.

Blaine shook his head, not quite understanding his part in this. “Why did you bring me into this?” he asked.

“Because it’s Kurt he’s meeting at that motel.”

His initial reaction was to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the implication. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

Quinn was silent, her eyes piercing into the small brunette. 

“Then why was Sam wearing Kurt’s jacket yesterday?”

“Kurt’s a kind person. Sam forgets to check the weather when he gets dressed for school.”

Rachel pursed her lips. “I just thought you two needed to know.”

“And you thought  _ now _ was an appropriate time for that?” Blaine asked, gesturing towards the table where Sam and Kurt were still sitting, laughing together at something on the latter’s phone. 

“Inconvenient truths wait for no man. You have to admit, they do look pretty chummy.”

“Okay, Al Gore,” Quinn finally broke her silence. “Will you give Blaine and I a moment to… process this new information?”

Rachel sighed and nodded, heading back to take her place at her table.

Quinn whipped around to face Blaine as soon as Rachel was out of earshot. “What are you doing Friday Night?”

“Huh? I don’t know yet. Why, did you want to double date or something?”

“No… I thought you might want to help me figure out what exactly is going on with them,” she added, tilting her head discreetly towards Kurt and Sam at the table. 

Blaine froze. “Wait a second, you actually believe Rachel?” he asked, baffled. 

“Sort of, yes… But god knows I’m not telling her that.”

“Kurt is not cheating on me,” he said calmly. “He would never do that to me—or you, for that matter. And neither would Sam. Even if Kurt was cheating on me with Sam—which, again, he’s not—he would never leave a jacket at someone else’s house. He’s very meticulous about keeping his wardrobe organized.”

“Okay but you heard that Blind Items column,” she contested. “Sam’s been coming over less and less, never wants to go to his place. He’s pulling away and I don’t know why. I’ve tried talking to him about it but he always changes the subject and… I just can’t  _ stand _ not knowing.”

“Alright.” He finally agreed, hearing the desperation in her voice. “I’ll help you, if only to prove that  _ neither _ of our boyfriends are cheating on us… What did you have in mind?”

* * *

Kurt had his US History textbook open in the hallway, reviewing a section before stowing it away in his locker, when a familiar voice ordered, “Stop it.”

He didn’t even need to look up to know it was Rachel. 

“Stop what?” he asked flatly.

“I am  _ begging _ you,” she pleaded. “Sam is cute, but he’s not worth losing Blaine over.”

He finally met her worried gaze and shoved his book back in its place. “Oh, how I’ve missed your insanity.”

“He’s wearing your jacket, Kurt! I remember that jacket. You wore it April of last year; said it was your Earth Day jacket because it was made out of recycled hemp. I know how these things work. Sometimes Finn leaves his letterman jacket at my house and I wear it to school the next day.”

His stomach dropped. Oh no. No. Kurt needed to shut this down right away. The last thing he needed was Rachel spreading around these rumors that would threaten his relationship. He decided to play it cool. 

“Okay, you need to bone up on your Fleetwood Mac-ology,” he began. “When they made Rumours, they weren’t speaking to each other. Not even,  _ ‘Pass the non-dairy creamer.’ _ They only spoke about the music, and it was that focus that allowed them to make that masterpiece.”

“You’re deflecting.” Damn her. Kurt had gone and befriended one of the most perceptive people in the glee club, and his boyfriend was best friends with the other. He had promised to keep Sam’s secret, but wasn’t sure how much longer he could.

“No, I’m being a team player,” he snapped back. “And any minute spent on this vicious, hurtful gossip, is a minute taken away from preparing for Nationals.” He gave her a fierce and condescending glare and shut his locker door as he walked away.

He let his shoulders relax as soon as she was out of view. 

That had been too close of a call for his comfort.

* * *

Kurt walked out of the motel with a sigh. Those kids were so darn cute and optimistic. They were really too young to even understand what was happening, and it broke his heart. 

Sam followed him outside, hands in his pocket and looking a little ashamed, the way he always did, as if this was somehow his fault. As if it was anyone’s fault and not just bad circumstances.

Kurt placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. “Take care, Sam.”

“Thanks, Kurt. I really appreciate it.”

“Kurt,” a new voice appeared behind them, familiar, but timid this time.

Kurt spun around, startled when he saw… “Sebastian?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I… I remembered we came here a few times to help out Sam and I just…” Kurt furrowed his eyebrows at him expectantly. “I miss you,” he said quietly.

His eyes widened in shock. Okay, he was  _ not  _ expecting that.

“And I know you’re with that Blair guy, or whatever, but… If you miss me, too, just know that you don’t have to make a decision right now. We could maybe get coffee, or breadsticks together and if you still want to be with him—”

“Did you come here to try and proposition me to cheat on my boyfriend?” Kurt asked, horrified. He dated this person?

Sebastian actually laughed. “It’s not cheating if you don’t have sex, everyone knows that.”

“Dude!” Sam cried out angrily. “This is so not cool, that’s my best friend’s boyfriend! And super disrespectful to Kurt. He’s my friend, too…”

“You could stand to have better taste in friends,” Sebastian said.

“What the hell, Sebastian,” Kurt said through a clenched jaw. “You need to leave. I wasn’t interested before this little stunt you pulled, and I’m definitely not interested now.”

“Didn’t he break up with you?”

Kurt froze, and he could feel Sam’s discomfort behind him. “You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

“How do you know he won’t do it again?”

Something vibrated in Kurt’s hand and he looked down to see Blaine’s smiling face on the screen of his phone. He clicked the silence button. There couldn’t be a worse time for Kurt to answer that call.

“Alright, buddy, it’s time for you to leave,” Sam said, stepping in front of a momentarily distracted Kurt.

“It’s not trespassing,” Sebastian sneered. “It’s not like this is your house. Oh, wait…”

Kurt turned to block Sam’s path with his body as the blond haired boy lunged forward towards the Warbler, still in his Dalton Uniform.  _ Zero tolerance my ass. _

All it took was two weeks on his own again and Sebastian was back to being a sleazy dick again—perhaps even worse than when Kurt first met him. Or maybe he was acting out like this to deal with their breakup. Either way, Kurt wasn’t having it.

Sebastian threw his hands up in defeat, jumping back. “Just think about it!” he called out before retreating to his car.

Sam was still breathing heavily as Sebastian peeled away, upset by the encounter.

“Man, fuck that guy,” he breathed.

“Oh, luckily I didn’t,” Kurt muttered underneath his breath, but still loud enough that Sam apparently caught it, turning his head and looking surprised at Kurt.

They stared at each other for a moment, before breaking out into light chuckles. 

Kurt’s phone started buzzing one more time, and he waved it at Sam. “I have to take this, or else Blaine will definitely know something is up.” 

Sam nodded understandingly. “I feel that. Take care man,” he said, and headed back into the motel room.

Kurt sighed and brought the phone up to his ear, relieved to be hearing Blaine’s voice again.

* * *

Blaine leaned back in the passenger seat of Quinn’s car, bobbing his head along to the beat of the  [ song  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLfcwDZ5GzQ) as it played and drumming his fingers on his lap, audiating the chords in his head.

**_I know there's nothing to say_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Someone has taken my place_ ** **_  
_ ** **_When times go bad_ ** **_  
_ ** **_When times go rough_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Won't you lay me down in tall grass_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And let me do my stuff_ **

**_I’m just second hand news_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’m just second hand news_ **

He threw his head back and started air-guitaring along with the song's nonsensical lyrics. _ “Bow, bow, bow, pa down, bow pa down, down, down.” _

“I feel like you’re not taking this seriously,” Quinn grumbled, setting her binoculars down on the dashboard. “Also, did you  _ have  _ to bring the Rumours album with you?”

“You’re right,” Blaine hummed. “I’m  _ not  _ taking this seriously, because neither Kurt nor Sam are cheating on us. And I brought the album because I still haven’t found a song for the assignment.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me about that stupid assignment.” She picked up the binoculars again and peered through them. After lowering them to her lap this time, she said, very quietly. “You know, he hasn’t asked me to prom yet.”

Blaine stopped his drumming and looked at her.

“I can’t help but think that maybe it’s because he wants to take someone else. Someone like Kurt, maybe.” Blaine was about to ask why she was so convinced of this affair before he saw tears pooling in her eyes and her lip tremble. “Someone who won’t be a shitty girlfriend and be so focused on winning Prom Queen and figuring out if she likes girls that her actual relationship with a really,  _ really  _ great guy takes a backseat and she doesn’t even notice when it starts falling apart.”

He wrapped an arm around her and let her dry her tears on his shirt, allowing her to cry through it. After a moment, she lifted her head, eyes red at the rims.

“God, maybe you’re right.” she sniffed. “They’re not cheating on us, and I’m just looking for an excuse to not be the bad guy in this situation.”

He rubbed her back soothingly before she slumped further down into her seat. “I think we should go home,” Blaine said. “Maybe call our boyfriends and remind them how much we love them. We could even do a quartet for that glee assignment! I’ll arrange something, it’ll be super fun.” 

Her laugh was a little nasal, congested from all the crying. “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”

She leaned forward to shift gears just as the track went on to  _ The Chain,  _ but promptly stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh, my god,” she whispered.

“I know, I love this song, too! God, this is such a good album.”

“No,” she said, gaze fixed outside the windshield. “Look,” she pointed, and Blaine followed her gaze to just outside the motel, where Sam was standing right next to Kurt.

Blaine’s breath hitched in his throat and he stared in shock for a moment.

“I-I-I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation,” he finally said. “Maybe they’re just working on the glee assignment.”

They both stared at their interaction, seemingly friendly so far, until another figure joined them. Blaine recognized him as Sebastian. “Oh, my god, I’m gonna be sick,” he mumbled, actually starting to feel dizzy. This wasn’t happening. Kurt wasn’t cheating on him.

They watched on, Sam seeming angry at Sebastian’s presence. Was he jealous? Had Sebastian crashed their midnight rendezvous? Was he late and somehow Sam was facilitating their meetings?

No. No, because Kurt wasn’t cheating on him because if he was Blaine might actually pass out right then and there. Kurt loved him, and would never… not like  _ that.  _

“There’s a logical explanation.” he mumbled blankly again. “There’s a reason.”

“We know the reason, now.”

“No. No. There’s got to be some other reason,” he said, a little louder this time. “Why the hell else would he be meeting Sam or  _ Sebastian _ or both of them?” He shook his head and dug into his pocket for his phone. “I’m calling him. I’m calling him and he’s going to have a perfectly good explanation because we’ve always been honest with each other and we’ll both see that…” he trailed off.

“Blaine, don’t—” Quinn tried, seeing that the three boys at the motel were in the middle of a heated argument. But Blaine had already pressed the call button.

He watched as Kurt glanced down at his phone, then back up to the altercation. 

_ Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Kurt Elizabeth Hum— _

Blaine set his phone down and ran his hands through his hair. Kurt always answered. Except the week of Rachel’s disaster of a party. Just before he started dating Sebastian.

_ No… Don’t let yourself go there. _

He pulled himself back to reality and tried to steady his breathing before he grabbed his phone again, trying Kurt once more.

Finally, an answer.

“Hey,” Blaine said a bit breathlessly as soon as the line went through.

_ “Hey,”  _ Kurt mumbled back. Blaine could see the smile on his face from the car. He wished it was easier to believe.  _ “What’s up?” _

“Just uh, missing you,” Blaine’s throat tightened around the words. “Wondering what you’re up to.”

_ “Not much,”  _ Kurt lied.  _ Has it always been that easy for him to lie to me? “Just at home, looking up stuff for the Rumours assignment. Silver Springs could be fun.” _

Blaine couldn’t even think of anything to say. What  _ could _ he say?

_ “Blaine? Are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.” _

“Y-yeah… I’m fine. I just called to say I love you.”

Kurt chuckled.  _ “Like the song?” _

“Yeah,” Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, throat clenching around the words. “Yeah, just like the song.”

_ “I love you, too, Blaine. So much… I’ll see you tomorrow.” _

A weak, “Okay,” was really all he could respond with, before watching Kurt press the end button and walk away.

It was at least a moment before a teary eyed Quinn asked, as gently as she could, “What did he say?”

* * *

Blaine sulked into the choir room, still feeling the weight of the unknown sitting heavy as lead on his shoulders.

When he’d had his appointment with Dr. Martin the day before, she’d asked how his week had been. At that, Blaine had immediately broken down in a way that he was certain he’d be embarrassed about someday. But at that moment, he just hadn’t been able to contain his emotions.

Luckily, she’d talked him down, pointed out that just because Blaine didn’t know the truth didn’t mean he had to assume the worst. And of course, she suggested he just have an honest conversation with Kurt about what he saw. 

So with a deep breath, he approached Kurt sitting on the risers, looking handsome as ever, and greeted him with a weak smile. “Hey,” he mumbled.

Kurt turned away from his casual conversation with Mercedes and smiled back up at Blaine. “Hey.”

“So, uh.” He swallowed and lowered his voice. “Would you mind meeting me here after school today? There’s something we need to talk about.”

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, smile faltering in a way that would have gone unnoticed by anyone else. “Um, yeah, sure. Did-did you want to talk right now? It seems pretty important.”

Blaine shook his head fervently. “No, no, not right now.”

“Are you sure? Because you seem really upset—”

“I’m sure,” Blaine said securely. “I’m… just trust me.”  _ I’m trusting you. _

“Okay… I do.”

It was then that Rachel stood up and strode towards the front of the room, defiant fists at her sides. “It has come to my attention that all of these rumors have created a divide in this glee club—one which is only comparable to that of the Catholic church’s Great Schism. I think we can all agree that if anyone is being cheated on in a relationship—” She threw a hard glare at Sam and then to Kurt at Blaine’s side, earning a woefully confused expression back from the both of them. “They have every right to go their own way… Blaine… Quinn,” the self-proclaimed leader of the New Directions looked down at them sadly. “You both deserve better than this.”

Quinn scoffed, looked down with her mouth agape and eyebrows raised, and pinched the bridge of her nose. Blaine leaned away from her, not wanting to be in her wake when she exploded at Rachel.

She finally shot up from her chair, lips in a snarl, and  _ yelled  _ at the girl standing at the front of the room. “If you think I’m going to let you stand in front of our glee club and sing about  _ my _ relationship, you have another thing coming, you undersized dictator!”

“It’s only because I care about you both—” Rachel tried, but Quinn was  _ done. _

“Oh, so that’s why you thought it would be appropriate to bring up our cheating boyfriends in the middle of rehearsal?”

Kurt snapped his head towards Blaine, his blue eyes filled with panic and fear, a plea that Blaine could tell said,  _ Tell me you don’t believe this _ .

“What!?” Sam barked out in disbelief. “Don’t tell me we’re still with this.”

Quinn whirled around to face her boyfriend. “Blaine and I  _ saw _ you two!” she snapped, sending the room into a dead silence. 

Kurt’s face blanched, and he looked like he was about to hurl his guts out onto the floor. Blaine couldn’t help but think that reaction was awfully guilty.

“Rachel had a suspicion, and I just… I had to know.”

“And you couldn’t have  _ talked  _ to me about it?” Sam yelled back. “No, no, because that would be ridiculous, right? Expecting my girlfriend to tell me what’s going on in her life? We never do that anymore, Quinn! I would have been happy to help you figure out all your stuff instead of wondering why you were pulling away from me for weeks. You could have asked me to help when that Zizes girl was trying to blackmail you, instead of me finding out about it afterwards.”

“Don’t come after me about not communicating when you’re the one sleeping with my best friend’s boyfriend!” she yelled, eyes red at the rim. 

“There is  _ nothing  _ going on between Sam and I!” Kurt announced frantically, in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

“Enough, guys,” Mr. Shue tried, but Santana, as usual, had other ideas.

“You know, I blame Sam for all this.” She said. Blaine watched as his friend shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “And Rachel. I blame her, too.”

“What!? What did I do?”

“Literally everything.”

“I’m with Santana,” Artie agreed. “I mean, why is Sam attacking Quinn instead of defending himself?”

“Guilt,” Mike theorized. 

“Seriously dude, what you’re doing is so not cool,” Puck chided. “They  _ just _ got back together!”

“Shut up!” Sam finally exploded. “Look, I’m not messing around with Kurt or anyone else, he’s just helping me!”

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it now?”

“How are they helping you out?” Mr. Shue asked. 

Blaine had to keep himself from rolling his eyes at their director’s incessant need to insert himself too deeply into his student’s lives. They’d been handling this themselves, and honestly, he’d forgotten Mr. Shue was even in the room up until now.

Sam swallowed. “Kurt’s been bringing me clothes and helping me babysit my little brother and sister.”

Blaine felt awful for asking, but he just had to know. He had to know what was so important that Kurt would lie to him. “Then… why were you at that motel?”

Sam looked up at him, hurt clouding his eyes—like Blaine was the last person he expected to buy into this. “Because that’s where I live now.”

The air in the room went still again. Blaine felt sick.

“My dad lost his job a few months ago, and then we lost the house, so now we live in that motel in one room.” He stood up and faced the choir. “Are you all happy?” he asked, focusing his stare at Quinn.

They only answered him with more silence. 

“The truth’s finally out.” 

He buried his face in his hands, dragged them down his face, and turned to storm out. In the blink of an eye, Quinn was out of her chair, calling out after him as he left.

* * *

The air in Kurt’s lungs was too thin for his liking. It didn’t feel tangible enough to keep him steady. 

Word traveled fast in the New Directions, and the news that Sam and Quinn had broken up reached Kurt’s ears before he even made it to his next class. As he mustered up all the courage he had left and willed his arms to open the choir room door, he couldn’t help but wonder…

Were he and Blaine next?

Kurt would recognize the dialect of Blaine’s piano playing anywhere. With performances, his choreography was always micromanaged down to the hemisemidemiquaver, but Kurt noticed that when it came to playing the piano, Blaine liked to take liberties with the tempo at the end of phrases. None of it was calculated, just felt.

Blaine was like that with life, too. Never really needing a plan, just running on feeling. It was one of Kurt’s favorite things about him.

The sonority of his boyfriend’s music came to an abrupt halt, and the curly haired boy looked up in surprise.

“Don’t stop on my account.” Kurt’s half smile felt too much like a grimace.

Blaine scooted over on the piano bench, an invitation for Kurt to take a seat. Finally expelling the air (feeling more solid now) from his lungs in relief, he took it.

“I’m so glad you showed up,” Blaine breathed, eyebrows slanting upwards and looking genuinely relieved. “I-I wasn’t sure. With what happened in glee club, and we didn’t even really get a chance to talk about it after—”

“Of course I came,” Kurt said, placing a hand on Blaine’s thigh. The decision was only semi-conscious. He saw Blaine’s distress and knew he needed a simple, reassuring touch. “I had all but convinced myself that you were the one who’d be leaving me high and dry.”

“What? Why?” Kurt felt the sting of Blaine’s wounded look.

“Oh, no, Blaine, not like that,” he explained himself. “Not because I don’t trust you to keep your word. But… because I used to get tossed in dumpsters and get balloons full of pee thrown at me, and because I’m just Kurt Hummel and you’re Blaine Anderson, football player, handsome, and talented, and because y—” he stopped himself, not daring to say the words ready to fly off his tongue.

“Because I did it before?” Blaine finished for him, knowing Kurt all too well. 

The guilt seeping in Blaine’s words made Kurt wince. He knew how much bigger these little things seemed to him, how much deeper he felt them. They both liked to be in control of situations, but the difference between them was Kurt accepted that some situations were beyond it; he doubted Blaine did. And when things that Blaine thought he should have had grasp on went south, he couldn’t tell the difference between a bad situation and a mess that was entirely his fault.

But Kurt had replayed their breakup in his mind countless times while they’d been apart, even a few times after they’d gotten back together. He understood it, now, but that didn’t make it hurt any less when it happened. 

“It’s okay,” Blaine murmured crestfallenly, wrangling up something that would resemble a smile if it weren’t for the guilt clouding his eyes. “I know I hurt you and I don’t expect you to get over that right away. If there’s anything I can do to smooth along the process, though, know I’m there in a heartbeat. But I need you to know that when it comes to you, there is no _ just.  _ Saying that you’re just Kurt Hummel is like saying it’s just the Mona Lisa.”

Kurt snorted out a disbelieving laugh. “Love really is blind, isn—”

Blaine cut him off by surging forward and pressing their lips together. “I’m serious, Kurt,” he said, pulling apart, but staying close to Kurt’s face. “You are handsome—” another gentle kiss, just off the side of Kurt’s mouth. “And talented—” another, on his cheek, then a last one right by Kurt’s ear so he could hear every word. “And perfectly imperfect.”

He turned his head to meet Blaine’s lips again, cupping a hand to his cheek and tugging them closer and closer.

“God, and the fact you’re even still with me is a miracle,” Blaine said once they’d pulled apart. 

“What on  _ earth  _ would make you say that?”

“Because I know how bad that stakeout looks. Kurt, you have to know that I didn’t believe any of it. I only went to calm Quinn’s fears and then... and then we saw you and… yeah, I kind of panicked… I kind of had to calm myself down, tell myself that you’d never ever cheat on me. There was a big part of me that just wanted to run crying to Sam about why he’d try to take you from me, or just confront you about it… and I wanted to just trust you, but… we were on that stakeout and I watched you lie to me and I know why you did it but… it was just hard.”

He laughed, hiding a trace of bitterness in his voice that would be undetectable to anyone else except Kurt. “And then Sebastian showed up and that really sent me spiraling, if I’m being honest.”

“I had no idea he was going to be there,” Kurt explained. “He showed up out of nowhere, was a complete dick, and Sam and I told him to get lost.”

“I know,” Blaine said, staying surprisingly calm. “It was just sort of a slap in the face reminder that…” he trailed off for a moment, seemingly putting his thoughts in order. “I’ve never had another boyfriend.” he explained, turning his honey-eyed gaze onto Kurt’s. “And I don’t want one. I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love you. Since last year, I knew that you were just  _ it  _ for me, Kurt… But you had an entire relationship with someone else and it  _ worked.  _ And that scares the shit out of me, because if one day you wake up and realize you don’t love me anymore, you will move on and be happy, but I can’t see myself with anyone but you.”

Fighting through the tightening of his chest, Kurt reached down and gripped Blaine’s hand in his. “Last year,” he had to swallow back the lump forming in his throat. “You said that you chose me. Well, now, it’s my turn. I choose you. I  _ did  _ choose you. And not just because Sebastian turned out to be a total dick. He could have been the nicest, most charming guy in the universe, but he still wouldn’t be  _ you.  _ You’re it for me, too, Blaine. Please don’t forget that. Or if you do, let me know so I can be there to remind you.” __

Blaine started back at him in awe. 

“What?” 

“You just… you always zig when I think you’re about to zag and I just love that about you.”

Kurt couldn’t have stopped the smile forming on his face, even if he’d wanted to. “So what were you playing before I came in?”

Blaine grinned. “Something for the glee project. Definitely a song you know. I’ll play if you sing with me.”

“Well with an offer like that, how could I refuse?”

Blaine stretched his hands over the piano keys and started the intro to the  [ song  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTi19MPOvDw) and Kurt came in first.

_ For you, there'll be no more crying _ _   
_ _ For you, the sun will be shining _ _   
_ **_And I feel that when I'm with you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's alright, I know it's right_ **

**To you, I'll give the world** **  
** **To you, I'll never be cold** **  
** **_'Cause I feel that when I'm with you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's alright, I know it's right_ **

**_And the songbirds are singing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Like they know the score_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I love you, I love you, I love you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Like never before_ **

_ And I wish you all the love in the world _   
**But most of all, I wish it from myself**

**_And the songbirds keep singing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Like they know the score_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And I love you, I love you, I love you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Like never before_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Like never before_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Like never before_ **

Kurt chuckled as the song ended. “I think our conflict-resolution skills are improving.”

“Oh definitely,” Blaine quickly agreed. “Can you imagine if this had happened last year?”

“There would have absolutely been more tears. A lot more yelling. Probably some hate making-out. We wouldn’t have spoken to each other for weeks.”

Blaine shrugged. “Yeah, but I think no matter what—if you had stayed at Dalton, or if I had gone to Carmel, or if we hadn’t gotten together last year—we would have found our way back to each other, kind of like gravity.”

Sitting there on the piano bench, Blaine’s head in the nook where his head and shoulders met, Kurt couldn’t help but agree. “Just like gravity.”

* * *

Blaine steadied himself before knocking on the wooden door of the motel, duffel bag in one hand, Kurt’s in the other.

Kurt had mentioned an idea he had to try and make things right with Sam. 

It slowly creaked open to reveal Sam’s somber face.

Recognition flitted across his face, and he tried to shut the door again. “Sorry, I’m trying to put my sister to sleep.”

Blaine pressed a palm against the door. “Dude, please… just let us in.”

A little blonde poked her head through, beaming when she saw Kurt. “Kurt’s here!” She practically squealed, then zoomed past Sam to latch herself onto his legs. 

Kurt chuckled and patted her back. “Hi Stacy,” he said with a smile.

“Aw, crud,” Sam said, corner of his mouth twitching. “She loves him. Couldn’t get you guys to leave even if you wanted to.” He opened the door wider to let them through.

The motel had one bed, as Sam had mentioned earlier, boxes filled with sentimental things—family photos, trinkets. Things that either nobody else would buy or were too precious to sell. Blaine felt his throat tighten. Sam had been going through all this, supporting his family, with such little help. If there was anything Blaine knew, it was that growing up too fast  _ sucked. _ Especially if you were on your own.

“It beats a cardboard box underneath an underpass, right?” Sam said, shrugging. “We keep the rest of our stuff in my dad's car. Sold everything else.”

A little blond boy came up to Sam. “Can we watch TV?”

“Yeah, sure. Keep it low though. Mr. Jensen next door is on the night shift again,” he said, heading to the thick old-school TV provided by the motel and flicking it on. The kids jumped on the bed, and Blaine realized that Sam hadn’t just been supporting his family financially. He’d been there to make sure his little siblings would never have to feel the weight of the situation. “You want a snack?

The kids nodded eagerly and Sam mustered up a smile, tossing them two sandwich bags filled with trail mix.

He looked back at Kurt and Blaine, and Blaine could see the shame return to his face, even though he looked down to hide it. “What happened?” he asked.

Sam just shrugged, like he didn’t really know either. Maybe he didn’t. “We moved up here from Tennessee, you know… cause my dad got a great job offer. Then the economy went to hell… and it's last ones in, first ones out. We spent all our savings on the move and down payment on the house.” He finally lifted his head, lips pursed in holding back tears. “When the bank takes your house, they literally take it. They come by one morning and kick you out of your own house. They just lock you out.”

After a moment of silence to process, Blaine asked. “Why didn't you tell us what was going on?”

Sam just scoffed. “You see how information flies around that school, right? You think everyone would've just treated me the same after they found out? I'd be even more of a freak. Kurt only found out because I… got a job delivering pizzas at night and happened to bring one to Dalton.”

“Oh,” was all Blaine could get out. Another moment of silence, and he remembered the duffel bag in his left hand. “I brought these for you. We didn’t know your size, so the rest of the glee club guys threw some stuff in there, too.”

“I know you always appreciated my help, Sam,” Kurt started. “But not everyone could pull off sequined riding pants.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it… Mom and Dad are out all day pounding the pavement looking for work, but... nothing. I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to keep on the Glee Club.”

“I didn’t know that,” Kurt said, a little shocked himself. 

“What? N-No, you can't do that,” Blaine said adamantly. “Look man, I know it gets hard when your home life is uprooted… It’s hard to show up to school because you can’t focus on things like history or geometry or even the glee club when all you’re thinking about is what you lost. I know it’s a rough time right now, but you can’t quit. You can’t give up on the things that make life worth living and I know that sounds like a bad hallmark card—” Blaine smiled when Sam let out a minuscule chuckle. “But it's true.”

“I know you sold your guitar,” said Kurt, swinging the case out from behind his back and showing Sam. 

The blond looked at them in shock, eyes glistening with tears. “Did you guys buy this back for me?” he asked, bending down and opening the case, caressing the strings like he couldn’t believe it was really there.

“The whole glee club did.” Blaine explained. “Look, Sam, we'll do whatever we can to help until you and your family get back on your feet.” 

Sam ducked his head, his blond locks covering his face as tears fell. “First time I've cried,” he mumbled.

Stacy hopped off the bed and made her way towards her brother, wrapping her little arms around him. “Don't cry, Sammy.” He sniffed as their brother joined in on the hug. 

“We need you, Sam,” Blaine said. “Okay? And you need the music.”

“We have something we wanna show you, back at the auditorium, if you want,” Kurt offered. “I think they’d really like it, too,” he added, tossing his heads towards his younger siblings.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He surged forward and threw his arms around Kurt and Blaine. “Thank you guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> Blaine's mini car Solo: Second Hand News
> 
> Kliane Duet: Songbird
> 
> Both by Fleetwood Mac


	19. Prom Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: MUCH EXCITE OKAY BYE
> 
> Actually, not bye: I keep forgetting to mention this, but thanks to everyone who commented on the Born This Way chapters (and all the other chapters <333) that was a really personal chapter for me to put out into the world, and i'm really glad it was well received :) I appreciate all your kind words so much!
> 
> Shoutout to Adri who is like the Tan France of fanfiction and constantly helps me elevate this story!
> 
> okay *NOW* MUCH EXCITE OKAY BYE

**_Here’s what you missed last time._ **

**_Prom’s coming up, and Quinn really wants to win Prom Queen, but so do Karofsky and Santana because they both have a secret they’d really like to keep._ **

_ “Have you ever heard of the term, beards?” _

**_Sam and Quinn were bf and gf, but she was convinced he was cheating on her with Kurt, so there was a steakout and everyone started ganging up on Sam and now they’re not bf and gf._ **

**_Can you believe that?_ **

**_And that’s what you missed on Glee!_ **

* * *

Elton John.

It all started with Elton John. Well, and whoever that woman who sings  _ Don’t Go Breaking My Heart _ with him is—which, Blaine really should have been able to remember her name, but he was just so damn distracted by Finn drumming and singing along to the song as Puck and Artie backed him up, smack in the middle of the Science hallway.

Of course, Rachel had known exactly when to come in, despite the fact that this was obviously a surprise performance (Blaine supposed that was one of the perks of being as fame hungry as Rachel Berry). The jazz band drummer took over for Finn and he stood up, making his way over to Rachel as gracefully as someone like Finn could —which wasn’t much, but it was the thought that counted. 

When the song was finally over, Finn grabbed Rachel’s hands in his and gazed deep into her large brown eyes. 

“Rachel Berry, it would just break my heart if you didn’t go to Prom with me.”

“If this is a Prom-posal, my answer is yes!” she squealed elatedly, launching herself into Finn’s arms. 

Blaine’s heart swelled, then twinged with a hint of… something he couldn’t quite put his finger on yet. “Aw,” he chirped, turning to Kurt as they strode down the hallway together. “That was cute.”

Kurt simply gave an apathetic shrug. “Prom’s probably not all it’s cracked up to be,” he said.

Blaine looked at him, flabbergasted. Was this really the same Kurt speaking as the one who had seen Sixteen Candles at least twelve times? Certainly his boyfriend would have jumped at the chance to make a  _ Pretty In Pink _ reference, yet here he was, acting like it wasn’t the social event of the season.

He couldn’t keep his suspicions at bay when later that same day, Artie had wheeled into their Home Ec class and serenaded Brittany with  _ Isn’t She Lovely. _

Even though she’d rejected him, Blaine’s little feeling returned. That tugging feeling in his gut. Was it… jealousy?

_ Shut up Blaine, you are  _ not  _ jealous _ . 

But he  _ was  _ confused when Kurt once again mumbled something about how he figured Prom would be lame this year. 

It didn’t make any sense. Kurt was notorious for his love of grandeur social events—weddings, parties, dances—so why hadn’t he asked Blaine to Prom? Unless Kurt was waiting for Blaine to ask him… He had just kind of assumed Kurt would have something big planned because he was, well, Kurt. But what if the other boy was waiting on him to ask?

Blaine knew being gay in a small town in the Midwest would come with its fair share of struggles, some serious, some not so serious. Bullying, lack of rights, discrimination, being called an abomination, all trickling down to if the mall would even carry the appropriate attire for a gay teen (he’d heard his fair share of rants from Kurt about that last one). He never thought one of those would be the question of which boyfriend asks the other to Prom. 

He glanced over at Kurt, whose tongue peeked through his lips at the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on perfecting his paté. A smile graced Blaine’s lips. 

He supposed there could be worse problems to have.

* * *

Blaine sank down in his seat on the risers next to Sam, clutching his backpack in front of his stomach and staring intently ahead. 

“Has anyone invited you to Prom yet, Sam?” he asked absently, narrowed eyes focused on the blank whiteboard.

“I live in a motel and just broke up with my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

A few of the glee girls came in, chattering excitedly about their Prom dresses, and Prom dates, and Prom corsages. Kurt trailed in behind them, smiling at Blaine before taking the empty seat next to him.

“Prom is like our Oscars, it’s the most important night of our lives,” Blaine heard Santana say.

“What about getting married?” he asked.

“Oh, you can get married as  _ many  _ times as you’d like,” Quinn pointed out. “You only have  _ one  _ shot at your Junior Prom.” 

Blaine gave her an appalled look. Sam had  _ just  _ broken up with her, how could she make such a flippant comment about commitment now? He knew she had loved Sam dearly, surely she must be hurting. But she only peered down into her notebook, jotting down notes (probably more campaign tactics, or dress ideas) and looking calm and collected as ever.

It was only then that he noticed Kurt was still uncharacteristically quiet about the subject at hand: Prom. They were talking about Prom, and Prom dresses, and Blaine was admittedly starting to get a little swept up in the excitement of it all. But Kurt’s nonchalance was starting to eat at him. 

He never was quite sure what was going on in Kurt’s head, or what he was going to do next. Sometimes he’d zig when Blaine was certain he was going to zag, which most of the time turned out to be a pleasant surprise. But in cases like this… he just didn’t know.

“What are you guys talking about?” Mercedes asked as she walked in. She sat down and folded her arms across her chest.

“Prom dresses,” Quinn said. 

“Thank god I don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going.”

It seemed that was enough to make Kurt finally speak. “Why not?”

“Because nobody’s asked me.”

Well, at least Blaine wasn’t the only one. He was about to comfort Mercedes when Mr. Shue asked for their attention to make the announcement that they’d be singing at Prom. It seemed they’d all be going, whether or not anybody asked them.

* * *

Eventually, Blaine couldn’t restrain himself any longer. He and Kurt sat cuddled up on Blaine’s bed, having just finished _Pretty In Pink_ , when he suddenly blurted out, “Why haven’t you asked me to Prom yet?”

Yeah, okay. He probably could’ve done that with a  _ bit  _ more tact. 

“I-I-I mean,” he scrambled, trying not to sound so unrefined. “I would have asked you, god knows I wanted to ask you so badly, but I kind of figured you’d have planned because, well… because you’re you.”

Kurt’s eyebrows sprang up to his hairline, his mouth slightly turning upward in hope. “You want to go to Prom?”

“I mean, we kind of have to because of glee, but… I really want to go with  _ you.” _

“Really?”

“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

His boyfriend gave him a concerned glance. "I just didn't know how you would feel about it, considering your past with the Sadie Hawkins dance... I remember the nightmares you got at Puck’s house, Blaine. They were… intense. As much as I'd love for us to stand up to all the idiots at this school, I also don’t want to put you into a situation that’ll just open up old wounds.”

“That was over three years ago,” Blaine responded with a dismissive shrug. “In all honesty, I might’ve been terrified of going at the beginning of this school year, but things are changing at McKinley.  _ Karofsky  _ is the leader of an anti-bullying club.

“I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t at least a tiny bit of residual fear left from my incident, but if you’ve taught me anything in these past two years, it’s how to have a little courage.” A smile appeared on his face and he leaned over to press his mouth lightly to Kurt’s. “But I think it’s really sweet that you weren’t going to go because you thought I didn’t want to.”

Kurt hummed happily in response, leaning his head into Blaine’s chest before snapping it up. “I have to go,” he suddenly said, much to Blaine’s dismay.

“What? Why?”

Kurt smiled back and coyly raised an eyebrow as he started packing up his things. “Now that I know you want to go, too, I have a very busy night ahead of me; lots of planning.”

Blaine groaned and tossed his head back, immediately missing the warmth of Kurt’s body. “You could still have a busy night if you stay here…” He smirked and waggled his eyebrows, laughing uproariously when his words sent a blush crawling up towards Kurt’s neck.

“Blaine!” he scolded him playfully. 

“Alright, alright, I cave…” Blaine cocked his head, suddenly coming to a realization. “Wait a second… lots of planning for what?”

Kurt just shot him a shit-eating grin before heading out the door, leaving him with, “You’ll see.”

* * *

Blaine didn’t have to wait much longer for Kurt to make good on his promise. 

He was lying on his bed the next evening, not doing much of anything, when he heard the familiar sound of a saxophone and [ Otis Redding](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4y8U) coming from outside his window. His brow furrowed, he rolled up off of his bed and headed to the source of the sound.

He looked out and saw his boyfriend standing in his driveway, a speaker and little tea lights that spelled out the word PROM? at his feet.

“Kurt!?” Blaine asked, feeling dumb because of  _ course  _ it was Kurt. Really, it always was.

“Blaine Anderson!” Kurt called out to him, face cracked with a wide grin. “Will you come down? I have a question to ask you!”

Blaine grinned and nodded before shooting off to change his outfit and retouch his hair. If he knew his mother at all, she was going to want to take a million pictures. 

It wasn’t until he looked up into the bathroom mirror to fix his hair that he even noticed the thousand megawatt smile on his face. 

Kurt knew him so well.

He couldn’t have gotten it more right if he had somehow developed the ability to read minds and extracted this exact scenario from Blaine’s head. It was private, and intimate enough that it felt like it was something that was about _ them,  _ and not anyone else. But their first Prom together… that was still a huge milestone for the both of them, something Blaine honestly wasn’t certain he’d ever get. It was clear to Blaine that Kurt knew to make the prom-posal  _ just  _ grand-gesture-y enough that he could commemorate the occasion and share it with the one other person who would appreciate it just as much: his mom.

Speaking of, he was proven right (about the pictures) when he dashed down the stairs and his mother was waiting for him at the door, her camera in hand. “Kurt is outside, waiting for you! There are little candles and everything, this is not a drill!”

“Oh, my god, you’re so embarrassing!” Blaine complained, but he was still grinning like an idiot. He held two different bowties up to his mom, one red and one black. “Which one?”

“Black. Classic, goes with anything. Now, hurry!” she urged him. “He’s waiting, and I have pictures to take!”

“Alright, alright,” he played back, affixing the tie to his collar. He made a sudden break for the door, only to have his wrist gently pulled back. He was about to ask why his mom had been hurrying him if she was going to hold him behind, when he saw the look on her face. Bittersweet pride and happiness somehow both gleaming in her dark green eyes. 

“Mom,” he said in a mild warning tone, feeling a lump form in his own throat as he gripped her hand. “No crying, it’s not even Prom yet.”

“I know, it’s just…” She reeled him in close for a tight squeeze. Blaine gripped at the back of her shirt like he was a toddler again and inhaled deeply. “You’re always going to be my baby, that’s all.”

With a tight throat, he replied softly, “I know.”

She finally released him and he bolted outside, leaving the door open so she could follow. 

Kurt was waiting there for him, excited and adorable as ever.

“So,” Blaine started cheekily. “Word around town is you’ve got something to ask me.”

Neither of them even registered the flashing lights of Blaine’s mom’s camera.

“You’ve taken me to the moon and back, so now I have to ask… What about Prom, Blaine?” Kurt cringed a little at his own words and chuckled. “Oh god, that’s the first time I’ve heard those words out loud, they’re so cheesy, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Blaine breathlessly agreed. “They super are.” He threw his arms up around Kurt’s neck and pulled him close.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Kurt squealed with delight.

“Me neither,” Blaine laughed back. “You and I are going to the Prom together! 

“That would be correct,” Kurt replied, reaching out and taking Blaine’s hand, tugging him close. 

"But this means I get dibs on next year’s Prom-posal.”

* * *

“Ladies,” Kurt said brightly. He was having a hard time sitting still on the couch, as he was still admittedly on a high from last night’s events. “I appreciate you welcoming me into the sacred inner sanctum that is the Prom gown dry-run.”

“Why did we decide to include Kurt?” Brittany asked innocently. Kurt didn’t necessarily take the question in personal offense. It was likely that Brittany literally just… forgot.

“Because getting a look past him is like getting a thumbs up from Joan and Melissa Rivers!” Tina explained. “It just might boost our pre-Prom buzz factor.”

“So I heard a rumor that you and Anderson are going to Prom together.” Santana pointed out. “I was thinking that the Bully Whips could provide you and your beau a protective detail from now until Prom.”

“And why would you do that?” Kurt asked, narrowing his eyes with suspicion. 

“To get sympathy votes for Prom Queen,” she said, her words accompanied by an eye roll. “I’ll be like the Law and Order Eva Peron candidate. Stretch-Marks over there won’t stand a chance.”

“I heard that!” a voice called out from the dressing room.

Just then, Quinn emerged from the dressing room, wearing a frumpy, bright yellow gown. The tacky rhinestones studded on, pleating the dress every few inches or so only added to the assault on Kurt’s eyes. 

Everyone stared at her, not daring to speak. Finally, she cocked her hip out, resting a hand on it. “Just let it out.”

“Oh my god, no,” Tina mumbled.

“You look like a lemon meringue pie,” Santana said. Quinn wrinkled her nose at her. 

“I always thought you’d look beautiful in anything,” Rachel started. “And while that statement stands true, I don’t think even the most ethereal creature on this earth could save that hideous gown.” 

“It’s a no from me,” Kurt agreed.

“Yeah, that’s definitely gonna clash with my dress,” Brittany pointed out.

Kurt held back a comment on how just about anything would clash with her lime green dress (she looked fantastic in it, but it was definitely a bold choice).

“Why would that matter?” Tina asked, daring to untangle the absurd inner workings of Brittany’s mind.

Quinn lifted her chin a little higher, like she was daring any one of them to come after her for what she was about to say next. “Because Brittany’s my date.”

The silence hanging over them was thick as gravy, and Kurt found himself wishing he had chosen to sit anywhere else but beside Santana. 

“Really?” the head of the Bully Whips asked. Kurt could see the tightness of her jaw, the sheer ferocity lighting up in her eyes.

“Yeah,” Quinn answered, notably not meeting Santana’s harsh stare, speaking as if she were replying to the group as a whole. “I thought there was no sense in two hot seventeen year olds like us going to Prom alone. We both like girls, we’re both single.”

“We’re going to have fun and dance,” Brittany confirmed. “And then dance with other people’s dates… So we’re each other’s dates and really your dates are our dates.” She threw her shoulders up in a shrug and mouthed  _ Watch out, _ to Tina. Tina glanced around warily.

Rachel smiled supportively at them, somehow remaining oblivious to the tension.  _ Read the room,  _ Kurt thought. “Can I just say—”

Santana abruptly stood up and held a hand to silence her, but her glare was trained on Quinn. “No, you can’t… because now it’s  _ my  _ turn to go find a dress that I’m going to look  _ smoking _ in when Karofsky tears it off me after Prom.”

Kurt wrinkled his nose in disgust at the image Santana painted, while the girls all showed their opinions on their faces.

“I don’t need to steal other people’s best friends for Prom, just so I can make some sort of lame political spectacle out of something that’s supposed to be good fun. All I need is me, my smoking bod, and my  _ boyfriend _ .”

Santana stormed back into the dressing rooms, leaving the tension hanging in the air.

After a few seconds, Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Alright, that went about as well as expected… I’m going to go try on a dress that doesn’t make me look like a twinkie.”

“Agreed,” Kurt muttered.

* * *

Blaine sat on one of the couches in the Hudmel living room, Finn lounging in the adjacent recliner. 

Burt walked in, sorting through the mail in one hand, and announced, “Good news, boys. My buddy Enzo from the tux rental shop is giving you half off.”

“Sweet!” Finn enthused.

“Yeah. So what are you gonna go with?” Burt asked.

“I’m going simple,” Blaine said. “Black, thin lapel collar, very discreet.”

“You know what I wore at my Prom?” Burt asked. The boys shook their heads. “I wore a powder blue tux with a ruffled shirt and a big velour bowtie. I looked like Tony Orlando.”

Blaine narrowed his eyes in question. “Was that a designer?”

“No.”

“No need for half off my outfit!” Kurt’s familiar voice called from just above the staircase. A few moments later and he was down them, proudly showcasing his outfit—a cropped jacket, black waistcoat, black bowtie, and green plaid kilt with knee-high boots.

“Because half of it is already off?”

_ Oh,  _ Blaine thought.  _ That’s where Kurt gets his sass from. _

“My ensemble is an homage to the recent royal wedding and the late Alexander McQueen. I had to make it myself. There’s simply nothing off the rack that is suitable for the young fashionable man in Ohio.”

“Dude, that rocks!” Finn exclaimed supportively. “It’s like gay Braveheart.”

Kurt twirled in his kilt and, as much as he wished it didn’t, Blaine’s stomach dropped. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like the outfit. Truthfully, he should have expected nothing less than theatrical from Kurt. But Blaine knew that to guys like Rick and Azimio and Karofsky (and yes, Blaine knew he’d turned over a new leaf, but he couldn’t be blamed for still not completely trusting him) this outfit made Kurt an easy target.

“I don’t like it,” Burt said. Blaine let out a little sigh of relief. Maybe his dad could talk him out of this.

“Well, of course you don’t like it! It’s not finished yet,” Kurt replied. He fussed over certain parts of the outfit while Finn looked on as if he had a single clue what his brother was talking about. ”I think it still needs, like, a sash, or maybe some beads.”

“I’m not gonna stop you from wearing it. But I gotta be honest, I think you’re just trying to stir the pot a little bit. I think you’re trying to get some attention.”

“Exactly! What’s the point of dressing up? I mean, that’s why some guys wear the tails or the top hat and the girls wear the hoop skirts. I mean, Blaine, help me out here!”

He froze. He wanted to support Kurt, of course he did, but… it was a school dance. The first school dance he’d been to in years and he knew how unsafe they could be, even with the chaperones. They didn’t need to draw anymore attention to themselves. “I... think your dad has a point. I think what he’s trying to say is that we just don’t want to give anyone a reason to cause any trouble.”

At Kurt’s shocked face, and his eyes dulling in disappointment, Blaine immediately regretted saying anything.

“There’s a lot of bad people out there, Kurt, and they’re a lot worse than this Karofsky kid,” Burt explained. 

_ You have no idea, Mr. Hummel. _

“And all they’re looking for is a match to light under the fire of their hate. Of course, I want…I want you to be yourself. But I also…I want you to be practical.”

“Okay,” Kurt pursed his lips and shook his head. “I have done everything right. Now Blaine, I understand that, after what you’ve been through, you’re worried. But Prom is about joy, not about fear. So I’m wearing this suit. I worked hard on it and I think it’s fantastic. And if you don’t want to join me, I completely understand.”

Kurt stormed back up the stairs to his room, and Finn took a drink from his glass, eyebrows raised. “Just got owned,” he muttered to Blaine. “Honestly, dude, I've known you for three years and I just gotta say, I never pegged you as the type of guy to be afraid to show who you are.”

“It’s not all about that, Finn,” Burt tried to explain. “It’s that sometimes keeping yourself safe takes priority.”

“I get that, but Kurt’s the kinda guy for who being himself is real important. Especially since jerks—myself included—got on his case for doing it for so long. I think to Kurt, there's not much more important than his sense of self expression.”

As much as it pained Blaine to admit it, he knew Finn was right. He rocked himself up from the couch and started up the stairs.

Once he finally made it up to Kurt’s room, he found his boyfriend hanging up the kilt, having opted for a simple pair of black pants instead.

“What are you doing?” Blaine asked. “I thought you said you were wearing the suit.”

Kurt just shook his head. “I changed my mind,” he said shortly. “This was dumb. I was being dumb. You’re right, our school is still filled with hoards of losers who would jump at the chance to harass us, especially if I wear this stupid kilt. It’s not worth it.”

Blaine reached out for Kurt’s hand. “No, it’s not stupid. I thought I was ready to be as brave as you, but that one scared part of me… remembers, and I panicked. I’m still just a coward.”

“You’re not a coward, Blaine.” Kurt said firmly, turning to his boyfriend. “Don’t ever call yourself that again.”

“But that’s what I am,” he argued.

“No, it’s not.” Kurt reiterated. “Do you think my dad’s a coward for being worried?”

“Wha—Burt? No!”

“Then why do you think that about yourself?” Blaine stared at Kurt, unable to come up with a response. “Look,” he started again after a moment. “I understand your concerns. I know my dad is just afraid for me, and given the town we live in, I see why. I’m not—I get scared, too, Blaine. Especially now that I have you, god if anything ever happened to you… I just didn’t want to hide myself for them, cut away a piece of who I am for  _ their  _ convenience. But none of that matters as much as making you feel as safe as you make me feel.”

“You’re the bravest person I know,” Blaine responded breathlessly, reaching back behind Kurt and pulling the kilt off the hanger. “And the bravest person I know deserves to wear whatever the hell he wants to his Junior Prom… I’m sorry.”

Kurt threw his arms around Blaine in gratitude, holding him close. Blaine turned his head, pressing a kiss into Kurt’s hair. “You take my breath away sometimes, you know that?”

Blaine smiled, face still nuzzled against Kurt. “Right back at you.”

* * *

“Teen gays!” Santana shouted out into the hallway, so loudly that Kurt and Blaine actually flinched. “You may now proceed to the next checkpoint without fear of violence!”

“This is ridiculous,” Blaine muttered, only for Kurt’s ears. “If anything, she’s only drawing  _ more  _ attention to us!”

Kurt could feel Blaine’s hand, clammy with nerves as it tensed inside of his own. “I know, but she sort of insisted.  _ You  _ try telling Santana Lopez no!”

“Can we at least tell her to tone it down?” Blaine pleaded. “People are looking at us funny and I just… I liked it better when we were left to our own devices.”

“Hey, Santana?” Kurt piped up. “Why uh, why are you yelling so loud?”

“I’m the Law and Order Prom Queen candidate,” she explained in her normal volume. Then she added in her loud voice, “Here to protect every student in the school from harassment!”

Just then, a random student brushed past Blaine, accidentally knocking his shoulder. He jumped in surprise, still a little on edge, but was otherwise unharmed.

“Did she just shove you?” Santana asked.

“No,” Blaine replied, barely managing to conceal his annoyance.

“Because if she shoved you—”

“Okay, we’re walking away now,” Kurt said, tugging Blaine towards the staircase.

“Good thinking!” Santana said. “Transfer you to Bully Whip David so you get the full detailed experience!” She lifted her walkie talkie and spoke into it. “Karofsky, finish escorting these brave young men to their classes, over.”

“On my way,” the walkie-talkie replied.

“Are you done talking? Over.”

“Yeah?”

“Then you have to say over. Over.”

“On my way! Over.”

Blaine shook his head. “That’s really—you don’t have to—”

But before either of them knew it, Karofsky was standing in front of them. Red beret and jacket and everything. “Come on,” he grumbled, not in a  _ particularly _ mean way. It was still off putting.

“You must be getting a kick out of bossing us around,” Blaine muttered, staying on the opposite side of the Bully Whip.

Kurt shot him a warning glare. He knew Blaine still didn’t completely trust Karofsky yet, which was understandable given the circumstances. Still, it didn’t seem like the right move to make a comment like that.

“Look, dude,” Karofsky started. “I know you don’t like me, and you have every right not to. But I hope you know that I’m committed to this cause… and not just ‘cause of the blackmail. I know I put you through hell.” His gaze flicked to Kurt and back forward to their path. “ _ Both  _ of you. And I… I’m really sorry.”

Blaine was quiet for a moment.

“I… Thanks…” he finally mumbled, looking over to Karofsky. He didn’t smile, but Kurt could see his gaze wasn’t as hard as it was a second ago. “It definitely doesn’t magically fix everything, but it’s a start.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way to Blaine’s class, and finally stopped in front of the room. 

“Here we are,” Karofsky announced, as if neither of them could already see that. “Third period, US History. I’m going to drop off Kurt and after class, we’ll come get you. Wait  _ inside  _ the classroom after the bell rings until I get back to walk you two to lunch.”

Kurt could  _ sense  _ the eye roll his boyfriend was holding back. In Blaine’s eyes, he could  _ see  _ the sassy remark (something about  _ Let’s not pretend I didn’t give you a run for your money last semester,  _ if he knew him at all) being held back.

“Yeah, sure thing,” Blaine agreed. He swung up their interlocked hands and quickly pressed his lips to Kurt’s knuckles. “Bye. I love you,” he murmured, softer than before.

Kurt smiled. “Love you, too. See you in a bit.”

He watched Blaine head into the class and give the teacher a greeting that would seem fake and overenthusiastic if it were anybody else. The smile on his face was uncontainable, fueled by the knowledge that this was just Blaine—genuine and enthusiastic and always so delighted to be with people, so excited to make others happy.

With a contented sigh, Kurt turned around, only to see Karofsky staring. His expression quickly became startled and he tore his gaze away, clearing his throat and starting down the hall. 

As they made their way down the hall, Kurt decided not to mention it. He recognized the look on Karofsky’s face—even for the second before he tore his gaze away. He’d seen it in the mirror almost every day before he met Blaine: longing. The loneliness felt seeing almost every other person in the school getting something you’ll have to wait years for… or maybe never even get.

“We’re here,” David said, again, as if Kurt hadn’t made this trek hundreds of times on his own. “Third period, French class.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said. “For what you said. I think it really means a lot to him, to hear that from you.”

He just shrugged. “I figured it’s the least I owed him.”

“Have you noticed that no one has said 'boo’ to me this week?”

The lineman’s mouth twitched, looking almost prideful. “Cause the Bully Whips are protecting you.”

“Maybe.” Kurt shrugged. “But maybe no one has been harassing me this week because no one cares.”

Karofsky shook his head, looked away again. “You’re dreaming.”

“Okay, look. I’m not saying that everyone in this school is ready to embrace the gay, but maybe at least they’ve evolved enough to be indifferent.” Kurt let out a little sigh. “I see how miserable you are, Dave.” Karofsky finally looked back at Kurt, jaw stiff and eyes beginning to redden. “I could just hate you when you were bullying me, but now… all I see is your pain. And you don’t have to torture yourself like this. I’m not saying you should come out tomorrow, but maybe soon the moment will arise when you can.”

Dave let out a long breath that was too close to a sob.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked.

The taller boy dipped his head to hide his tears, swiping his hat off with one hand and wiping at his face. “I’m so… I’m so fucking sorry, Kurt. I’m just so sorry for what I did to you. I saw what you two had and I  _ hated  _ myself for wanting it. For knowing that  _ that  _ was what would make me happy. And you two just seemed so happy and I was so miserable and I know it doesn’t make anything right and I’m just… God, I’m  _ so  _ sorry.”

Kurt felt his heart clench with sympathy for the other boy. “I know,” he reassured him. “I know.” 

Karofsky recollected himself as a few people walked by, shrugging his shoulders back and standing taller. “Cool,” he sniffed. “Thanks… Just like I told Anderson, you’ll wait for me here, right?”

Kurt agreed and Karofsky responded with a brisk nod before heading off to his own class.

* * *

Blaine rapped his knuckles against the wooden door of the Fabray household. Kurt and Blaine had decided to come greet Quinn, instead of just picking her up in a rush.

“You have to say the magic word for it to open. Usually it’s alakazam. Or open sesame.”

Right, and Brittany. Weirdest Prom ever.

The door clicked open, and the three of them were met with a disorienting flash.

“Jesus, mom! Let them breathe,” Quinn huffed, pushing past her mom onto the front porch. Blaine couldn’t help but notice her behavior was a bit off. She turned to the group and gave them an unsteady smile, her arms unable to stay still at her sides, her fingers fluttering in the tulle of her dress.

Before he had a chance to ask her about it, Mrs. Fabray countered her daughter’s protest.

“I just want at least one picture before the humidity ruins everyone’s hair and makeup!” Connie argued.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Fabray,” Blaine said smoothly, the parents-of-friends casanova he was. “Pictures were to be expected. Come on.” He waved his arms inward in an attempt to gather everyone into a picture pose.

Kurt obliged, raising an eyebrow as he slung his arm around Blaine’s waist. “So, when are you going to be this suave around my dad?”

“I can’t be smooth around your dad, we’ve established that. Something about the Hummel men just turns me into a blundering idiot.”

Kurt let out a snort as Quinn’s mom lifted the camera to her eye level. Quinn had one stiff arm around Blaine’s back and the other resting around Brittany’s waist. Before the click went off, her expression grew confused and she lowered it again. 

Lips taught, she raised an eyebrow. “Where’s your date, Quinnie? Is he meeting you there? Because if he is, I’m definitely going to need you to come back after so I can get photos of you two.”

Blaine felt Quinn go even more rigid beside him before drawing in a deep breath. “Actually, mom…” She placed a hand on Brittany’s shoulder. “Britt here…  _ is  _ my date.”

Connie stood still and silent on the porch, her expression blank and unreadable.

“I um, would have gone with Sam,” Quinn continued, voice rising nervously. “But, you know, we broke up and um, Brittany is, she’s—well, we’ve been on the Cheerios together for a while, too, for a few years now. And glee club and she’s um, she’s bisexual…” she paused for a moment. “Too,” she added. “She’s bisexual, too… like me.”

Blaine felt his heart pound in his chest. He had no idea Quinn was planning on doing this tonight. Mrs. Fabray was still quiet.

“Mom… Please say something.”

Her tight lips finally broke out into a small smile. “Watch your drinks. No drinking and driving. Take lots of pictures.”

Quinn surged forward and wrapped her arms around her mom, burrowing her face into her blouse. “I love you, mom.”

Mrs. Fabray inhaled deeply. “I love you, too,” she said, cradling Quinn’s face with her hands and lifting it. “But don’t cry, my beautiful daughter. You’ll ruin your makeup.”

* * *

**_It’s Friday, Friday_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Gotta get down on Friday_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend!_ **

The song ended, the entire gymnasium exploding into cheers. Blaine cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled out from the table he and Kurt were sitting at, “Wooo! Go Sam!”

Kurt snorted. “I know he’s one of your best friends, but I am personally offended that you just cheered for that song.”

Puck, Artie, and Sam exited the stage and Rachel took her place on it, singing the opening lines to Christina Perri’s  _ Jar of Hearts. _

Blaine watched as Kurt looked on longingly at all the other couples dancing. Kurt looked back at him, a little startled, like he hadn’t expected Blaine to watch him staring, and he shrugged. “I was just… judging everyone’s Prom outfits, but there’s not much to criticize. It seems that everyone brought their A-game this year.”

But Blaine saw right through Kurt’s attempts to disguise his true desire. “You know, we can go dance, if you want to,” he offered, knowing he sounded much braver than he actually was. 

As he held out his hand for Kurt, his pulse beat harder and faster in his veins, and he wished so dearly that it was from excitement and not fear. He hoped that Kurt knew how achingly hard he was trying to be brave for him. Kurt was  _ worth  _ being brave for, and if brave meant standing up in front of the entire student body and dancing with his boyfriend at Prom despite the ridiculous, outdated fears he had, then he could do that. He could do that, no matter what the wasps’ hive in his stomach said.

Kurt looked over at him and smiled fondly. He grabbed Blaine’s hand with one of his own, then the other, and set them down on the table. “I appreciate the offer, but I know how hard this must be for you. Just coming here, being with you tonight, that’s enough for me.”

As much as he didn’t want to be, Blaine was relieved at Kurt’s response. That relief was almost instantaneously washed out by guilt. Blaine was the one who wanted to come. He was the one who had asked why Kurt hadn’t asked him to Prom. He was the one who got this thing rolling, and now Kurt was here, with him, letting his Junior Prom waste away because Blaine was too afraid to do exactly what people came to dances for and—

He shut his brain silent for a moment, realizing that he was starting to spiral a bit.  _ You experienced something traumatic at a dance very similar to this one,  _ he reminded himself.  _ This is an expected reaction. Just breathe. You are okay. _

He did, a few times. Then made what felt like one of the most impulsive decisions of his life. He stood up, tugged on Kurt’s hand, and dragged them to the edge of the dancefloor (still close enough to the tables, to Sue, the chaperones… just in case) before Kurt could get any semblance of a protest out.

“Blaine, what are you—”

He tugged Kurt close, effectively silencing him as he slid his arms around his waist and started gently swaying along to the music. “Listen, Kurt,” Blaine started. “I know you like romance, which we all know isn’t one of my strongest suits.” He gave a little chuckle. “And I can’t always promise that being with me will be the Nicholas Sparks movie you deserve, but I love you… And I do promise to always be there, no matter what. To defend you even if I know you’re wrong. To surprise you, to pick up your phone calls no matter what I’m doing, to bake you cookies at least twice a year, and to kiss you—or dance with you—whenever and wherever you want.”

Eyes wet with tears, Kurt surged forward and wrapped his arms behind Blaine’s neck. “Not good at romance, my ass,” he chuckled against Blaine’s ear.

Blaine smiled in return, leaning his head on Kurt’s cheek.

“The Prom is so inclusive this year,” Kurt commented after they danced in silence for a moment.

He nodded. “There’s someone for everyone,” he agreed, catching a glimpse of Quinn and Brittany dancing together. She had her chin hooked over Brittany’s shoulder, and Blaine thought that despite the mess of this year, she looked genuinely content. Like after all this time, she was finally comfortable in her own skin. She finally caught his gaze and wiggled her fingers at him.

“Even if it’s a lie,” Kurt added. Blaine followed his gaze to see Santana and Karofsky with their arms around each other.

Just then, Figgins tapped on the microphone in an attempt to get everyone’s attention. Blaine was a little surprised when he was disappointed at having to let go of Kurt’s waist. He couldn’t help but smile. Progress.

“Will all the candidates for William KcKinley High School Prom Queen and King report to the stage please?” the principal announced in his typical monotone voice. The crowd watched as the contestants made their way up to the stage, each of them hopeful and proud.

“Drumroll, please.” The jazz band drummer started a roll. “This year’s McKinley High Prom King—with an overwhelming number of write in votes, is… Mr. Kurt Hummel!”

Blaine sucked in a surprised breath, going absolutely still in shock for a second as Kurt stiffened beside him. This was unexpected, to say the least, but the more Blaine thought about it, the more it made sense to him. It had taken three years, but the McKinley student body was finally starting to see his boyfriend the way he did.

“Wait, what?” Kurt asked in bewilderment, turning to Blaine who seemed just as surprised, but was still absolutely beaming at him. “This is a joke, right? I can’t go up there, it’s gonna be like Carrie or something.”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that people might have voted for you because you went through hell this year and only came out stronger on the other side? You’re an inspiration, Kurt. I think the rest of the school is finally starting to see that. Now, go up there and get your crown.”

Blaine smiled at seeing Kurt’s shoulders relax just a little. Kurt allowed himself to let his guard down and return the expression. “Alright, but if they throw pig’s blood on me, you have to help me get the stains out.”

“Deal.”

Kurt slowly made his way through the crowd of students to the stage. Although Blaine had assured him a tad that nothing bad would happen, Kurt still couldn’t keep the dread at bay. There was nothing more anxiety inducing than helplessly standing on that stage as Figgins placed the crown on his head, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

After a moment or two, people in the audience started…  _ applauding _ . They actually started clapping, even the other candidates behind him who hadn’t won. Even  _ Karofsky.  _ For a moment, Kurt was almost convinced that he’d been teleported to an alternate dimension.

From the audience, Blaine beamed up at his boyfriend. It seemed ridiculous to him now, being worried about any backlash Kurt wearing the kilt might bring, especially knowing that his classmates had been the ones to put him up on that stage tonight.

Things really were changing at McKinley High.

“And now…” their principal continued. A hush fell over the audience again, and Blaine sent a supportive wink towards Quinn. She smiled back at him. He couldn’t wait to see his best friend and boyfriend—two of the people he loved most in the world—share their first dance as leaders of the McKinley High student body. “Your Junior Prom Queen… also with an impressive amount of write-in votes…” 

Figgins paused, looking disappointed and troubled as he lifted his head and called out the name on the card. 

“Blaine Anderson.”

The words ripped through him like a bullet, and as the initial shock faded, so did the smile from his face. 

It was astonishing how quickly breathing—something that Blaine had done every second from the moment he was born—morphed into an absolutely foreign concept he had no grasp on. With some degree of horror, Blaine finally realized he couldn’t breathe because his throat was squeezing tight in order to keep back the sob that lay dormant in it. 

This wasn’t happening. 

This couldn’t be happening, for God’s sake, he was a football player. He had paid his dues to the stupid status rules at this school, protected himself by building up a reputation that kept idiots like Azimio and Langanthal (at the time) away.

_ This wasn’t happening. _

On the stage, Kurt snapped his head back and glared at David, eyes flaring up in fury. “Was this you? Did you do this?” he asked ferociously. 

Karofsky looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “N-no!” he protested. “I-I swear, Kurt, this wasn’t me. I would never, especially not to  _ you. _ Not after everything we—” Dave cut himself off when he saw a few of the other nominees give him strange looks and lean in to whisper towards each other.

Breaking the stunned silence in the gym, Kurt heard the sound of shoes running against the gym floor and immediately jumped off the stage to chase after Blaine. 

“Blaine!” he cried out desperately, running after his boyfriend through the sea of students. Jesus, why wasn’t anyone doing anything? Why the hell were they just standing there like idiots? Why couldn’t it have been him and not Blaine? 

Why did it have to happen at all?

“Stop! Blaine!”

By now, though, Blaine could barely hear anything except the blood pounding in his ears and the voice in his head screaming to run and  _ get the hell out of there. _

He didn’t stop running until he burst through the double doors that led into the hallway, and finally, his lack of controlled breathing caught up with him. Blaine doubled over with his hands on his knees, struggling to catch his breath. 

After a few failed attempts to regulate his breathing, he threw his back against the lockers and slowly slid down to the floor, burying his head in his knees. The sob he had barely been able to keep back for what seemed like hours finally bubbled up to the surface. 

He heard the doors to the gym open a few feet away from him and not a second later Kurt’s familiar arms were around him. 

“Oh, my god, Blaine,” Kurt breathed, slightly panicked. “Are you okay?” He took Blaine’s hand and started gently caressing it.

Blaine slowly lifted his head to meet Kurt’s concerned gaze and shook his head. “I feel so _stupid.”_ He sobbed again, quickly reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “I can’t believe that I thought just because I was at a different school, and on the football team and had Finn and Puck as friends that I was immune to this stuff. Jesus, I mean, isn’t this the whole reason I’m even on the stupid football team? So we could avoid shit like this? That was the _deal_!” he yelled brokenly, slapping a hand down on the cold tile. It stung him, reverberated all through his hand, but he couldn’t find the strength in himself to care. 

“How could I have been so stupid!? They couldn’t… couldn’t fucking come after us anymore, not without getting heat from Coach Beiste or the Bully Whips, so they did it by secret ballot.” He looked up at Kurt, guilt flooding deeper into his bones that he’d ever held. “Oh my god, I let them get to you, too. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I never—”

Kurt felt tears pool in his own eyes, but he kept his thumb stroking over Blaine’s hand even as he cut him off. “Blaine, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t  _ do _ anything.”

“Yes I did,” Blaine argued. “I was naive. I was stupid enough to think with football, and with-with glee club, Quinn and Brittany, Santana’s anti-bullying club and hell, even Karofsky turning over a new leaf, that things would be better—different. But it’s all exactly the same, Kurt…” Blaine’s voice caught in his throat and he buried his head between his knees. “I’m still that scared little fourteen year old boy who couldn’t defend himself...”

Kurt wiped at his eyes, shifted into his knees, and lifted Blaine’s head back up, forcing him to meet his gaze. “No. That’s not true. This is  _ not  _ a reflection of you. This is the manifestation of all the ignorance and hatred in this  _ stupid  _ fucking town. I hate—god, I  _ hate  _ that this happened, and I am so,  _ so  _ sorry Blaine… But you know who you are; please don’t let them take that from you.”

He started back at Kurt, thoughts everywhere but nowhere all at once. “I just… I don’t know what to do,” Blaine finally uttered hopelessly. He really, really didn’t. “What would you do?”

Kurt bit both his lips, thinking for a moment. He resumed stroking his boyfriend's hand. “I think… if I had my beautiful and brave boyfriend by my side… I might go back in there to show them that they can’t touch me,” he looked right into Blaine’s eyes and tightened his grip. “They can’t touch us. Or what we have.” A smile tugged at his lips. “And then I’d probably tell Kate Middleton to eat her heart out.”

Blaine let out a watery chuckle. “You would.”

“But I’m not you, and if you want to say screw them and get out of here, I will be right behind you.”

He mulled over the option for a moment. Taking the rest of the night off sounded off the charts amazing. He certainly didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of all of  _ this  _ right now. 

On the other hand… Blaine had initially come to Prom to try to be brave for Kurt. But the thing was, Kurt wasn’t asking him to be brave. 

In fact, nobody was asking him to take a stand, to go on that stage and accept his crown and show the entire school that he wasn’t what they thought he was. Nobody dared him to go out there and prove to everyone that they couldn’t tear him and his boyfriend down, no matter how hard they tried.

Despite the fact that Blaine was beyond hurt and utterly humiliated, he found that he still wanted—needed, really—to do all those things.

_ You know who you are. _

Blaine did know who he was, now. For a very long time, he wasn’t sure, constantly needed someone to remind him. And there were parts of him he was definitely still figuring out, but this much he was sure of: he wasn’t a coward. He never had been. Not when his dad came after his mom, or when bullies would throw around hateful words about the boy he loved, or when Quinn needed a place to stay after being thrown out of her home. Blaine had always been so willing to put himself in the line of fire for others.

This time, it was time for him to be brave for himself.

“No,” he finally answered. Kurt’s smile held too many emotions for Blaine to even process them all. 

“You sure?”

He nodded, actually believing himself. “Screw them. If we leave, then they win, because that’s exactly what they want. I want to go back in there and accept my crown and finish out my Junior Prom dancing with my boyfriend.”

Kurt pulled him in and pressed their lips together. “I love you,” he mumbled through the tears.

“I love you, too. Now, let’s get back out there and show them what real royalty looks like.”

* * *

The doors to the gymnasium opened, and Kurt and Blaine walked back into the Prom on shaky legs, but still hand in hand. They reached the stage and climbed on, and Principal Figgins grabbed a hold of the mic.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your Junior Class Prom Court: Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine couldn’t help but crack a smile when he recognized the first voices to start cheering in support. It was every single one of the New Directions, even Santana and Puck.

The cheers grew and grew, until Figgins took over the mic one final time. “Now, we have the tradition of Prom King and Queen sharing their first dance.”

Together, they stepped off the stage. 

Blaine stuck out his hand towards Kurt. “May I have this dance?” he asked.

Kurt’s smile widened. “Yes. Yes you may.”

In that moment—swaying to the music with his boyfriend at a school dance, with the entire student body watching them—Blaine Anderson felt more untouchable than he ever had in that red and beige letterman he relied on for so long.

What he had with Kurt—knowing that he couldn’t always promise things would go right, but would always make it feel safe if it didn’t—was all the armor he’d ever need.


	20. New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: buckle up motherfuckers and I’m not just saying that bc of the plane. It’s gonna be a bUMPY RIDE
> 
> As usual, shoutout to [Adri](https://somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com) (oh look at that, the hyperLINK WORKS NOW THANKS HTML) for working her magic on this chapter!
> 
> I'm gonna save the sentimental shit for the epilogue which i will post tomorrow unless by some misfortune i wake up at like three pm

Kurt clicked on his seatbelt, doing his best to keep the uneasiness in his stomach at bay. As the plane lurched forward, he shut his eyes tightly and squeezed the armrest before a soothing voice broke him out of his panic.

“Hey,” Blaine said calmly, prying Kurt’s stiff fingers off the armrest and intertwining them with his own. 

Kurt finally opened his eyes to be met with Blaine’s honey ones. His stomach settled just a bit. “Sorry,” he squeaked. “I-I’ve never flown on a plane before.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine murmured. “I’m right here with you. I’ve flown out a couple of times to see Cooper, I know how scary it can be the first time. Everything will be fine.”

Kurt bobbed his head but still couldn’t even out his breathing. 

“Hey,” Blaine murmured, caressing his boyfriend’s hand with his thumb. “Do you remember the bus ride to regionals last year?”

Kurt felt himself settle just a bit at the memory, the corners of his lips rising. “Yeah… You told me you loved me.”

“And you told me you love me. Over a year later and that’s still true as ever. What are the odds?”

The plane shook as it rose into the air, Kurt’s stomach churning again. “I’m going to say less likely than this plane crashing and killing us all?”

“Let’s uh, let's not think about that right now,” Blaine insisted, voice rising about an octave in pain when Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine’s hand.

“Shit, sorry,” Kurt said, realizing he was being too rough. “I’m just not entirely convinced humans were made to be in the sky. There’s something unnerving and unnatural about all this. If we were meant to fly, we would have evolved to do so!”

“Hand!” Blaine hissed. Kurt let go entirely this time, grimacing when Blaine had to shake his hand out to get the blood flowing again.

“Sorry,” Kurt groaned again. “I am so sorry, this is _so_ not an attractive quality.”

Blaine just chuckled and lifted the little arm rest between their seats before wrapping an arm behind Kurt’s back to tuck him into his side. “I love you,” he said sweetly. “But how about I just hold you like this until the plane lands?”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed. “I could work with that.”

* * *

Finally having landed, Blaine could tell that Kurt was feeling much better, back to his usual chatty and effervescent self. The New Directions all sat on the giant red steps in the middle of Times Square (yes, Times Square! Blaine could hardly believe it himself).

“A year and a half ago,” Kurt started, giddy from taking in the bustling city. “The New Directions were nothing but a group of misfits stumbling their way through a horrible rendition of _Sit Down You’re Rocking the Boat_. Now, here we are, at the top of the show choir heap: Nationals!” he squealed.

“I wanna hit up Central Park,” Tina said brightly. “Get my frolic on.”

“I wanna throw stuff off the Brooklyn bridge!”

“Guys hold on, we still have two songs to write,” Finn pointed out.

Kurt rolled his eyes at his brother. “Okay Mr. Bossy Pants,” he added with a head tilt. “But I think we have some time for a tune before we leave.”

**_Start spreading the news_ **

The first line was all it took for Blaine to immediately jump in and join his boyfriend. It didn’t take much for the rest of the New Directions to hop on, either.

 **_I’m leaving today_ ** **_  
_** **_I wanna be a part of it_ ** **_  
_** **_New York, New York!_ **

Rachel suddenly strode up to them (Blaine _thought_ it had been a little too peaceful), looking smug and proud of herself. “Guys,” she announced. “I have news. To celebrate our impending win at Nationals, I got us all thirteen tickets to Broadway’s longest running show ever,” she pulled the tickets out from behind her back and fanned them out like a peacock proudly fluffing its feathers. “ _Cats_!”

Brittany threw her hands up in the air and yelled excitedly. “Woooo!”

“You might wanna check the dates on those tickets, Rachel,” Quinn said. “Because _Cats_ closed about eleven years ago.”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, wondering why on earth this was something that Rachel didn’t know. She could memorize the entire _Funny Girl_ and _Cabaret_ catalogue, but was unaware that a show from the eighties had already closed?

The shortest New Direction turned the tickets around to get a closer look at them and pouted. “He did seem crazy,” Rachel admitted. “He charged my credit card by swiping it through his buttcrack.”

He scrunched his face up in disgust at the mental image he one-hundred percent did not ask for, but had received anyways. “And you took the card bac—?”

“Nevertheless,” Rachel cut him off loudly (as if there was any other way for her to make a statement). “We are in the Big Apple and ready to have the time of our lives!”

Half an hour later, (after a heated debate in the lobby of the hotel about why New York smelled wet all the time, and after Mr. Shue had busted Puckerman for trying to order a Manhattan at the bar) they were all gathered in one of the two hotel rooms.

Kurt leaned back on one of the chairs, excitedly perusing a room service menu. “Do you know that I can get an Ahi Tartare _and_ a steak sandwich at three in the morning from their all-night dining menu? I feel like Eloise!”

Blaine sat on the floor beside Kurt’s chair, and looked up at him with a beaming grin. Kurt was an excitable person, but he’d never seen him gush this hard about anything. Except maybe Patti LuPone.

“I have pills for that,” Brittany offered. Blaine’s grin faltered and he shot her a confused look.

“Alright guys,” Mr. Shue announced. “This is your time. You are all on lockdown until you finish writing our songs for Nationals,” he continued explaining.

Blaine pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows, pointedly not looking at their director. 

“I saw that,” Kurt said in a soft sing-song voice, only for Blaine. 

Blaine stifled his laugh. “Can’t help myself. Writing songs for our Nationals competition the day before is just too great of an idea.”

“I want two solid verses by the time I get back,” Mr. Shue continued.

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “Aren’t you going to help us?” he asked. _Just A Feeling_ had come pretty quickly, but as a team, they needed some sort of parental guidance (since nobody on the team would listen to Blaine unless his opinions were backed by their director) or else they’d end up taking some acoustic version of Rachel’s “heart wrenching” (her words… nobody else’s) _Only Child_ to Nationals.

“I um… I will be back to read your amazing creations and give notes, but right now I have to go to the theatre… to fill out some paperwork.” With a shrug, he was out the door, leaving the glee club behind. Blaine, Rachel, and Kurt looked confused, while Santana was just looking plain annoyed, and Brittany sat tracing the mouth of a cup on her notepad with a pencil.

“Well that’s just great,” Blaine muttered as soon as their teacher was gone. What compelled Mr. Shue to leave thirteen teenagers unattended anyways? “What are we gonna do now?”

Sam shrugged. “You’re the songwriter here, Blaine, you tell us.”

“Me? What? No, I wrote _one_ song. Mr. Shue said songs come from a place of pain and I’m in a _considerably_ better place now. I don’t think I have another anthem worthy song in me right now, much less two.”

Santana rolled her eyes. “See? Happiness is selfish.” She gestured towards Kurt and Blaine. “You two couldn’t just take one for the team and _not_ get back together, could you?”

Kurt narrowed his eyes and dropped his jaw in disbelief, craning his neck to glare at her. Meanwhile, Blaine aloofly mumbled, “Well, that was only one of many, _many_ issues going on in my life, so I don’t know what good that would have done.”

“Alright, enough,” Finn started, reigning in the situation. “Why don’t we break up into groups and see what comes of it?”

That proved to be a horrendous idea when not much later, Artie, Brittany, and Puck finished their original song.

**_Saying what’s up to my cup-ah!_ **

The other ten New Directions stared in shock.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine asked. “Is this a song about a _cup?”_

“Yeah, totally,” Brittany said proudly.

Quinn rose from her place on the bed and grabbed her coat. “We’ve _gotta_ get out of here.”

“N-n-no!” Rachel cried worriedly. “Mr. Shue gave us explicit instructions.”

“To write a song,” Quinn said. “And our problem is that our only inspiration are mattresses and bathroom cups.”

“Quinn’s right,” Blaine agreed. “Poets, artists, playwrights; every dreamer that’s ever lived has passed through this city. And if we want our dreams to come true, we need to be out there with them, not stuck in here.”

Rachel still looked unsure, but was outnumbered anyways. She seemed to realize this, giving in with a shrug. “If you can’t beat ’em.”

Blaine grinned. “This is going to be so much fun!”

* * *

Blaine plopped down next to Quinn on the park bench. The New Directions decided to take a break from sightseeing (still without a single song written) in favor of a lunch break. They’d all just picked up sandwiches like they had the day before, and gone to a nearby park.

Quinn was staring longingly a few yards away, where Tina, Kurt, Mercedes, and Sam were cracking up at one of his infamous Al Pacino impressions.

“You okay?” Blaine eventually asked.

“Of course I am. What makes you think I’m not?”

“Because you and I are way too similar in the way where we don’t really express our emotions until we’re on the verge of a breakdown.” Her shoulders sagged a little and she finally tore her gaze away from Sam to look back at Blaine. “You know it’s okay to be upset, right?”

“Is it though?”

“Yes. Don’t swallow or push your feelings down anymore, Q,” he said. “You’re the one who told me to start expressing myself, you deserve to give yourself the same courtesy. Let yourself not be okay, if that’s what you need.”

She sniffed hard, still obviously trying to keep her tears at bay. “This year did not go how I thought it would,” she admitted. “I lost the Cheerios—again. I lost my boyfriend. Didn’t even win Prom Queen.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she winced. “Sorry,” she grumbled. “That was selfish.”

Blaine just let out a chuckle. “It’s all good. Not to sound conceited or anything, but I feel like I rocked that crown better than you ever could have… I know it’s easy to stay focused on what went wrong, but don’t forget about all the great things that happened, either. You came out to your mom. We made it to Nationals.”

She broke out into a grin at that. “What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn, for sure.” He let out a little laugh. “Probably dye your hair pink, get a tramp stamp of Ryan Seacrest.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Like _that_ would ever happen.”

* * *

After a day of roaming around New York with the New Directions—and definitely annoying the locals with their starry eyed tourism—the boys had come back into the hotel, only to have Mr. Shue ask for a word with them. 

Their director had expressed concerns about the two of them sharing a room, and asked which one of them would “be so generous as to volunteer to bunk with the girls”, while looking pointedly and expectantly at Kurt.

Kurt had just given him a wry, judgemental smile and walked right into the boy’s room.

Blaine was sure Kurt would have chosen to stay with the girls, if only Mr. Shue hadn’t approached them about it. But his boyfriend did admittedly have a petty side (which was fair, after having nearly been sent to the principal’s office over nothing).

Their director sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s not gonna switch rooms, is he?”

Blaine pursed his lips and shrugged. “I mean, you could always _make_ one of us sleep with the girls, but uh, good luck explaining your decision to Kurt without making it look like discrimination.” 

As Blaine headed back into the boy’s room, he heard Mr. Shue call out, “Alright, but on paper, this never happened!”

Kurt had wanted to go to sleep, but apparently that was too much to ask of the universe since Puck had insisted on ordering _Fight Club_ on demand and having the volume at full blast. Everyone else had been uninterested at first, but as the movie progressed, Sam and Mike abandoned their game of paper football and Finn hung up on Rachel. Even Blaine had opted out of his and Kurt’s mini cuddle session to focus on it (he knew he’d pay for that later but… it was _Fight Club)._

Once the movie finally ended, Blaine plopped himself down on the floor next to Kurt and slid into his sleeping bag. He draped an arm around Kurt, snuggling up close and pressing his chest to Kurt’s back.

Kurt was still on his phone, scrolling through social media. “Oh, _now_ you want to pay attention to me,” he teased, otherwise not reacting to Blaine’s presence.

He nuzzled his face into the back of Kurt’s head. “I can leave if you want. Self-exile to the other side of the room.”

The sound of Nylon rustling let Blaine know that Kurt had rolled over to face him. “Don’t you dare,” he said, voice bright with a smile.

“Oh, I see,” Blaine teased back. “This is all a part of your plot to have your wicked way with me.”

“Right, because the idea of having sex with my boyfriend on a Dorito dust covered hotel room floor just _really_ gets me going.”

“For the love of god, _please_ stop talking,” Finn whined from the bed. “Not everyone is asleep yet.”

“You heard the man. We’d better shut up,” Kurt said, and then pulled Blaine in for a kiss, slow and sweet.

“Aw, dude, come on! That’s my _brother!_ I can still _hear_ you!”

“Finn, will you butt out and let them have their moment?” Puck shout-whispered from the little couch at the foot of one of the beds. “Pretend to be asleep like the rest of us.”

The room went silent, followed by some of Finn’s unintelligible grumbling and the sound of sheets rustling.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Kurt asked.

“Hm?”

“That uh, that sleepover we had at Puck’s place last year. You had a nightmare and I slept in your bag. I already had a huge crush on you, but that was the moment I think I fell in love with you.”

“Yeah,” Blaine agreed. “That was a really special night for me, too. God, that seems like so long ago. I can’t even imagine that we didn’t know each other for the entirety of Freshman year. Feels like I’ve known you my whole life.”

He could hear the grin in Kurt’s response. “I’ve always felt the same.”

“I can’t believe that was almost two years ago. So much has changed since then.”

Kurt yawned and nestled his head into the crook of Blaine’s neck. “For the better.”

Feeling the warmth of his boyfriend’s body snug against his own, Blaine couldn’t help but silently agree as they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

By the time Kurt had arrived at their agreed meeting place, Blaine had already set up everything he needed to. Sitting cross legged in the warm May sun, Kurt walked up to Blaine’s layout—a picnic basket on top of a blanket. He joined Blaine on the blanket, greeting him with a peck on the lips.

“How was your day with Rachel?” Blaine asked, reaching into the basket and pulling out a few food items. 

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s and then we may or may not have broken into the Gershwin Theatre,” Kurt replied, waving an unbothered hand.

Blaine froze in the middle of pouring some juice into two plastic cups, drawing his head back in surprise. “You broke into the Gershwin?”

“I plead the fifth,” Kurt replied coyly. “How was your day?”

“Empire state building and Central Park with Quinn, then met Sam at Chinatown to pick up some souvenirs. I got my mom these awfully tacky matching mother-and-son pride shirts. She’s going to love them. Did you happen to get any songwriting done?”

Kurt swallowed down a bite of his sandwich, then feigned an exasperated sigh. “Nary a verse or a tune.” He threw his shoulders up to his ears. “But Rachel said she was going back to the room to work with Finn, Artie, and Mercedes on some stuff, so I suppose we’ll see what comes of that.”

“Oh, if what they come up with is as good as _My Cup_ , then we’ve definitely got first place in the bag.”

Kurt chuckled in return, then grew silent for a second, narrowing his eyes at Blaine. “Alright,” he finally started, gesturing to the food. There were cookies (some gingerbread men and some red and pink sugar cookies), two small bunches of grapes, two turkey sandwiches, and a small bottle of sparkling grape juice. He was barely able to hold back the grin on his face at Kurt’s raised eyebrow while he handed him a plate with a little bit of everything on it. “The rest of it I get, but what’s with the gingerbread men?”

“Ah, so you’ve noticed that this isn’t just an ordinary picnic.”

“Well, now I have.”

“There’s a theme, I promise.”

“Weird things Brittany has said?”

“No.”

“Different plots Sue’s tried to use to destroy the glee club?”

Blaine coughed out a laugh. “No.”

Kurt stared at it for a moment, focused on trying to come up with an answer, but eventually gave in. “Alright, I cave. What's the theme?”

“It’s ah, it’s all the holidays we missed when we were broken up.” He lowered his gaze, pointing out the food items as he explained their presence. “The turkey sandwiches are for Thanksgiving, the gingerbread for Christmas, obviously, pink cookies for Valentine’s Day. Puck offered to get us some champagne with his fake ID for New Year’s, but something about getting day-drunk on a school trip the day before our Nationals competition seemed the _tiniest_ bit irresponsible. So I opted for some sparkling juice… I really just want to make up for lost time with you.” 

Blaine barely had time to turn his head back towards Kurt before he was suddenly pinned down, back flat against the ground as Kurt crashed their lips together. He reached a hand up to dig into Kurt’s hair, opening his mouth as he wrapped his other arm around Kurt’s back to pull them closer.

Two years, and Blaine still wasn’t tired of this. There was no future he could envision in which he ever was.

“New York is really something, huh?” Blaine asked breathlessly, once Kurt pulled away. “You can really just tackle your boyfriend like that in the middle of a park and nobody will bat an eye.” 

He shifted so Kurt could rest his arms and head on Blaine’s chest while Blaine gently stroked through Kurt’s hair, both of them gazing out at the city in front of them. After a tranquil minute or so, Kurt turned his head to Blaine, looking serious. 

“Oh, no,” Blaine mumbled, he moved again, this time so they could sit up face-to-face. He took Kurt’s hands in his lap. “Something’s bugging you. What’s up?”

“I’ve just been thinking… and maybe it’s way too early to be thinking about it, but I can’t help it. We’re going to be seniors soon.” Blaine’s stomach filled with nervous but excited butterflies at Kurt’s words. “And then it’ll be over… Glee, the New Directions. I want to come here. For college. And I understand if that’s too much, or too big of a change for you, but… I need you to know that if we end up in different places, I want to do long distance. Because whether we’re six feet or six thousand miles apart, I am _never_ saying goodbye to you, Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine’s face cracked with a grin. “You won’t have to, because... I want to come here, too.”

“You do?” Kurt asked with a hopeful grin.

Blaine nodded. “It all seemed like a crazy dream before, but now that we're here, I'm sure of it. This is where to want to be." 

Blaine leaned forward with a smile on his face to kiss Kurt when a lilac frisbee landed on his lap between them. He looked up and saw a girl come running towards them at full speed. She looked a little like Pippi Longstockings, with her brownish-red hair and denim overalls. She couldn’t be older than twelve.

“Sorry,” she said, blowing her bangs out of her face with a puff of air. “My step-dad has _terrible_ aim. He couldn’t hit a cone with a truck if he tried.”

Blaine handed her back the frisbee. “It’s all good,” he reassured her.

She tucked the disk under her arm and extended the other. “I’m Lucile, by the way. But everyone calls me Lucy. My parents think I’m too friendly to strangers, but you guys seem pretty normal to me.”

Kurt couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Um, thanks.”

“Lucy!” a far off voice called out. 

She rolled her eyes. “That’s my step-dad again, he’s way too overprotective of me. It’s a little annoying, but sweet. Like too much buttercream frosting.”

It sounded vaguely familiar, the voice, but Blaine couldn’t quite place it. It was too distant. This was New York, though, maybe her dad was some sort of famous broadway actor. If Rachel got to meet Patti LuPone the day before, that was the least the universe owed him.

A figure climbed further up the little hill they were on, coming clearer into view. “Lucy!” he called one more time.

Blaine’s entire body flashed burning hot before it froze over with dread.

He _did_ know that voice.

_No._

He never intended to hear it again.

“Luc—” the man spotted the three of them and stopped in his tracks. Blaine watched helplessly as his father’s eyes locked onto his own. “Blaine,” he uttered breathlessly.

He didn’t know what else to say. 

“Dad.”

* * *

Kurt had called Quinn to meet them as soon as he found Blaine, a block or two away from where they’d been. His boyfriend had been sitting on a bench on the sidewalk, staring out into the road, eyebrows ever so slightly scrunched up.

He would always be there for Blaine, he knew that. But… this was admittedly something Kurt didn’t entirely know how to handle on his own. Blaine talked about what happened with his dad sometimes, but hardly ever about how he _felt_ about it, how it _affected_ him. 

When it came to this, what was going on in Blaine’s mind was a mystery to Kurt; he didn’t want to say something wrong and add to Blaine’s stress.

Finally, she rounded the block corner and as soon as her eyes lit with recognition, sprinted towards them.

“What happened?” she asked breathlessly, taking a seat next to them and placing a firm hand on Blaine’s shoulder.

He still seemed too stunned to speak, so Kurt answered for him. “We uh… we were at this park nearby, and… his dad showed up.”

“Shit, are you okay?”

Blaine still only stared blankly ahead, even as he answered. “Sometimes you think old wounds have healed and then realize that they’re not... that old. And not all that healed.” He finally looked at them. “Dr. Martin told me that healing wasn’t linear,” Blaine continued, breath shuddering. “And this— _seeing_ him—just sent me fucking tailspinning.”

“What did you do?” Quinn asked, gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“I did what I always do,” Blaine scoffed, lip curling up almost like a snarl, like he was disgusted with himself. “I ran. I blanked out, stood up and walked away because I couldn’t face him. Exactly like last year. I was so relieved he didn’t show up to Sectionals because I couldn’t _face_ him, I couldn’t—

“He has my eyes. I look so much like my mom, but my eyes are his. When I look at him, all I see is myself—the worst parts about me: my impulsiveness, my temper, my possessiveness—god, every awful person I could _be.”_

The words made Kurt’s heart ache. He’d always known Blaine felt betrayed, broken, by what his father had done, but he had no _idea_ Blaine was so afraid of turning into him. With every fiber of his being, Kurt knew Blaine could never be capable of that. Blaine, with his kind soul and those beautiful hands made to play piano keys and strum guitars, creating beautiful things out of nothing. Blaine could never break things, not like his father had.

Never _that._

He watched helplessly as Blaine doubled over and let his head hang between his knees, breaths heaving as he ran his hands through the back of his hair.

Quinn reached across his chest and lifted him back upright. “Nope, air’s up here. You’ll pass out if you cut off your circulation like that.”

He nodded, keeping his chin pointed upwards as Kurt began to lightly graze his arms with his fingers, slowly up and back down. Eventually, Blaine managed to match his breathing to the pace of Kurt’s movement.

Blaine finally let out a long, turbulent sigh. “There was—there was just supposed to be this-this moment, you know? This moment where we run into each other’s arms and all is forgiven and we could be a f—” he sucked in another uneven breath. “I could have… a dad again. But I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t fucking do it because I can’t just let go of the past.”

“Do you remember what I said?” Quinn asked. “Last year? That first conversation we had at your place.” Blaine blinked at her with wet eyes. “I believe my exact words were—excuse my French—you didn’t owe your father jackshit. I still stand by that statement. It’s not my place to tell you whether or not to forgive your father. Whatever you do, make sure it’s because you want that—not out of some sense of obligation to him, or to Cooper, or to anyone else.”

He nodded, and Kurt felt a little more comfortable contributing to the conversation.

“Blaine, sweetheart,” he began. “You are the kindest, sweetest, most bursting-at-the-seams-with-compassion boy I have ever had the pleasure of loving.” There was another wonderful ache in his heart when Blaine looked at him with red-rimmed eyes and let out a watery chuckle. 

“I know you,” he continued. “And I know you couldn’t ever be like him. And I know you hate all those things you just said about yourself because you think they came from him, but they didn’t. Those are all you; he lost any right to claim any part of you as his the _second_ he laid a hand on you. So yes, you are at times impulsive, and a little jealous, and you get angry, but so do I. So does everyone. That’s just a part of being human, Blaine. You’re allowed to feel things, you’re allowed to _be_ all those things without feeling guilty…

“You’re not him. You’re _not,_ and you never, ever will be.” He reached out to cradle Blaine’s face in his hand. “Not the boy who took a slushie to the face for me, or the one who without a second’s thought gave her a place to stay,” he added, jerking his head towards Quinn and earning a smile from her in the process. “I don’t know if you necessarily need to hear that from me, but I couldn’t let another moment pass without letting you know.”

Blaine let out a little breath. “Thank you guys.”

“I gotta say,” Quinn added, jerking her head towards Kurt. “You’ve got yourself a keeper here.”

“I could have told you tha—” He stopped and stared at her for a second, mouth hanging open on its hinges.

“You got a haircut,” he said dumbfoundedly, the corners of his mouth spread into an open-mouthed grin.

Kurt snapped his eyes back to Quinn to see that she _did_ cut her hair.

“You got a _haircut,_ and I just noticed!” Blaine laughed aloud, tears still not dry but no new ones either. “Oh nooooo,” he cried playfully. “You got an entire haircut and it took me five minutes to notice. I’m the worst best friend ever!”

She rolled her eyes. “It was Santana and Brittany’s idea. All is forgiven. Given the circumstances, I’m not going to hold the fact that your thoughts might have been elsewhere against you.”

The three of them laughed together for a moment or two, before Quinn finally turned the conversation back to the situation at hand.

“Do you know what you’re going to do yet?”

Blaine shook his head. “Not entirely,” he admitted. “I still have his number. I haven’t used it in over a year, but… I think I’m going to invite him to Nationals.”

* * *

The atmosphere backstage was a stark contrast to the hundreds of people bustling around the lobby area of the convention center, with the myriad of flashy costumes that had caught Blaine’s eye. His heart hammered in his chest in the best way, and something electric buzzed underneath his skin. They finally made it to Nationals.

While Finn and Rachel sang their obligatory duet on stage, he felt Kurt squeeze his shoulders reassuringly from behind. He spun around. 

“How are you feeling?” Kurt asked quietly.

Blaine swallowed. “Nervous. I mean it’s Nationals. The competition, two years in the making!”

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. “I meant about your dad.”

He blinked a few times and shook his head. Blaine had actually been so swept up in his excitement, he’d nearly forgotten about that. “I uh, I guess I’m not really giving him a second thought right now,” he finally admitted. “This moment isn’t his. It’s ours.”

As Finn and Rachel sang out their final notes, Kurt pulled Blaine in for one final good luck kiss. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s go out and claim it, then.”

And with that, they walked out onto the stage.

* * *

Back in the lobby, after they’d performed, Kurt came rushing up to the group. “They just posted the top ten for showcase,” he said frantically, flailing his hands about. “Okay, come on everybody, gather round! This is the moment two years in the making!”

“Okay, what should we do?” Blaine asked, excitedly. He took Kurt’s hand in his own, hoping to calm some of his overactive nerves.

“Let’s go look at it… together,” Mr. Shue said.

They huddled their way through the crowds, passing Vocal Adrenaline on their way. They had Sunshine Corazon up on their shoulders, clearly celebrating their advancement to the next round. Blaine gave her a supportive smile that she gladly returned.

_I never did find out if she’s actually my second cousin or not._

Finally, all the New Directions huddled around their Director, eager to know the results.

“Just say it,” Finn prompted him. “What did we rank?”

Blaine couldn’t see Mr. Shue’s face, but as soon as he saw the subtle sag of his shoulders, he knew they hadn’t advanced.

“We didn’t… I’m sorry, you guys. We’re not in the top ten.”

Blaine hardly had time to even process their collective loss when he heard a voice call out to him. 

“Blaine!”

He and Kurt spun around, hands still intertwined, to see Blaine’s father standing a few feet away. His stomach tightened in on itself, and Kurt lightly squeezed his hand, reassuring. So much could be communicated through the simplest, most basic gestures. One tiny clench of Kurt’s hand said _Go do what you need to do. I’ll be here waiting for you, no matter what happens._

Blaine swallowed around the tightness in his throat and slowly released Kurt’s hand to make his way towards his dad. Harold stepped forward, presumably to try to greet Blaine with a hug or handshake, then seemed to think better of it.

Mouth still a little dry, he said, “You came.” 

His dad nodded. “Of course,” he replied, like it was silly for Blaine to think otherwise. The short, awkward silence between them was palpable. The air was thick around them, too still against the chaos of the forty-nine other show choirs reacting to the results. “So uh, are the results out yet? Did you guys win?”

“No, we uh…” He shook his head. “We lost. Again.”

“Ah. Sorry to hear that.” His dad tried for a wry smile. “So I guess I’m not your good luck charm, then?”

“No,” Blaine said evenly. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Another brief pause.

“I am so, _so_ beyond belief happy that you invited me, you have no idea,” Harold said, deciding to break the silence.

Even though he seemed genuine, Blaine didn’t know how to respond. Hell, he barely knew why he invited his dad in the first place. “I um. Yeah. Okay… so uh, I didn’t get a chance to ask, but what are you doing in New York?”

“We moved to Jersey a couple months back. Better job. Just came to the city for the weekend. Obviously, I don’t have to ask why you’re here.”

 _I’m making small talk with my dad,_ was all Blaine could think. _You used to tuck me in at night, used to be the first thing I’d look for when I woke up, but sure, let’s pretend our travel plans are the most complex part of our relationship._

Trying to continue this conversation was like trying to squeeze on a shoe that was two sizes too small. Uncomfortable, out of place, and a little painful. Yet, his dad seemed pretty intent on continuing to stuff his foot in.

“I think… This could be a really great new start for us, Blaine,” Harold said, relieved and excited. “I can pay for your flights out to Jersey, maybe bring Nancy and Lucy to Lima sometime. Cooper’s been busy, but if we all figured out our schedules, we could probably get in a few days together. It’ll be just like old times.”

It took a moment for it to sink in, what Blaine’s father was suggesting. Once it did, though, the realization came to him, like sunlight breaking through the clouds after years of a confusing overcast. 

“I... am so glad that you got to work through your wounds,” he started. “But mine aren’t completely done healing. And I don’t know if they ever will be enough for you to be in my life, and I’m not trying to be harsh but... that’s the truth.”

Harold seemed surprised by this turn of events. He pursed his lips, knitting his eyebrows together. “I can—I can be a better dad, this time around, Blaine. If you’ll let me.”

“It’s not about—“ Blaine sucked in some air between his teeth, forcing his muscles to relax. “It was _more_ than a missed dance recital or picking me up late from soccer practice. I’ve been through a lot these last few years... but what I now realize, what’s taken me so long to come to terms with, is that you were right. In that letter you left for me. I was never the problem. And despite having a boyfriend who loves me, friends who care about me, and a mother who supports me, I wasn’t able to convince myself of that for a long time. But now I have.”

“So is that it?” He threw his hands out in question, clearly disheartened. “You invite me here just to tell me you don’t want to see me again?”

“Don’t,” Blaine said firmly. “I won’t let you blame me for this anymore.”

His dad drew his head back, eyes widening like he’d realized what he’d just done. “I-I’m sorry. I just… I _do_ miss you, you know. You're still my kid and I love you and I’m _sorry_ I didn’t do it better before.”

Saying sorry for something like this, though, was like throwing a stone in a river. You could fish it out, but you could never undo the ripples it made.

Blaine still felt those ripples today. He might even feel them in a few years, in complete honesty. He thought he’d let his dad go last year, but he could see now that all he had done was get his anger out. The truth was, Blaine never made peace with what his father had done to him. Not really. If he had, he wouldn’t have felt his shadow on his back all this time. 

“I know you’re sorry,” Blaine responded truthfully. “But I’m tired of feeling guilty for not wanting you in my life. I’m tired of chastising myself every single time I have even the tiniest negative emotion—as if I’m not allowed to feel them like everybody else is—because I worry that I’m turning into you. I’m tired of spending my time trying not to be you, instead of trying to be myself. I’m tired of living my life like happiness is something I need to earn. God I’m just… so exhausted with it.

“And if letting you go is what I have to do to finally feel like I can catch my breath, then that’s what I’ll do…

“So, I’m going home. Back to Lima with my boyfriend who loves me so very, _very_ much. And I don’t know where the next few years will take me, but neither will you because—” Blaine nearly said _I’m sorry,_ before realizing that he wasn’t sorry at all. “I still don’t want you in my life. And I think I’m allowed that. So if you really love me, like you keep saying you do, knowing that I’m finally able to recover from the scars you left should be enough for you.”

His dad sucked in his lips, and nodded carefully. 

“I… I understand,” he finally managed to choke out. 

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but decided to close it. He’d finally said everything that needed saying. With a silent nod, he turned around and headed back towards the rest of the New Directions, all still in mourning. 

It was strange, feeling so light, when he knew the rest of his teammates were broken up about the loss. It would likely hit him later, but right now all he felt was relief.

A familiar hand wrapped itself around Blaine’s.

“Everything okay?” Kurt asked, his soft voice a feather against Blaine’s ear. 

“Yeah… It is,” Blaine replied. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

“I still can't believe we lost,” Blaine mumbled. Back at the Lima Bean, he and Kurt sat at a table, drinks cooling on the table in front of them. “I mean, I _can_ believe it, because you know, it’s us and we never get to win anything, but…”

Kurt took a sip of his non-fat Mocha and chuckled. “I can. We wrote original songs the night before our competition. You even said so yourself. And if I recall, from the whole Defying Gravity Diva Off fiasco, Mr. Shue said judges look for something accessible. What’s _less_ accessible than original songs? At least we made it to Nationals, to New York.”

Blaine looked at Kurt sitting across from him and was unable to suppress a smile. “When you think about it,” he said before leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, “We’ve had a pretty good year.”

Kurt teasingly raised an eyebrow. “We broke up this year, so I implore you to tread lightly when you explain.”

Blaine shrugged. “Admittedly not one of my finer moments but… I think it made me appreciate you even more. I feel closer to you than ever. And hey, like you said, we went to New York!”

Kurt smiled. He couldn’t even stay fake-angry at Blaine when he was smiling like that. “I sang on a real Broadway stage,” he added.

“We were Prom court. And even though that situation wasn’t ideal,” he waggled his eyebrows, “what happened after Prom is definitely a plus.”

Kurt felt the flush rushing to his cheeks at the memory, Blaine’s hands roaming over his body the night of Prom. He attempted to hide it by ducking his head and taking a quick sip from his cup.

“Oh, _now_ you’re shy about it.”

“If you keep this up, we’re taking a break from make out and… _other_ sessions—scheduled or unscheduled.”

“That’s fine by me. I have a feeling you’d be the first to crack anyways.”

Kurt scoffed out a laugh and shook his head, settling into the comfortable silence. “You wrote a song,” he pointed out after a moment.

“Eh,” Blaine shrugged dismissively. “It was kind of depressing.”

“Stop that!” Kurt scolded. “It was really good. It won a Regionals competition. Hell, maybe if you’d written our Nationals setlist, we might’ve actually won.”

“We’d already gotten back together,” Blaine joked. “I was out of angst fuel.” Kurt snickered and Blaine paused for a second before continuing. “Is it weird that I’m not that upset about losing?”

“Not at all,” Kurt admitted. “Because if I’m being honest… I’m not all that upset either.”

“Is there something wrong with us? Have we lost our competitive streak?”

Kurt bubbled out a laugh. “Au contraire. I just think that maybe this year wasn’t really about winning or losing. It was about growing, and learning. This year was hard, but I feel _changed_ after all of it. Enlightened. So, yeah, it would have been great if we’d won, but that’s not what’s important. You and me, Friday Night Dinners, the way we stay thirty minutes after glee rehearsal to sing songs that aren’t even a part of our setlists… That’s what’s important.”

He finally looked up from the table, only to see Blaine already staring thoughtfully and fondly at him. “What?” he questioned.

“You… make me think, sometimes.”

“About?”

Blaine smiled and shook his head. “I just really love you.”

Kurt squeezed his hand. “I love you, too.” 

The door chimed and he turned his gaze to see Mercedes and Sam walk in together. “Oh, look who's here,” he pointed out to Blaine.

Blaine swiveled around and grinned at their friends. “Hey. What are you guys doing here?”

Mercedes seemed a little startled. “Just, uh, getting a coffee.”

“We ran into each other in the parking lot,” Sam explained.

Kurt jerked his head towards the door. “We were actually just about to get going. Friday Night Dinner.”

“I have a weekly quota of dumb things to say in front of Kurt’s dad to meet,” Blaine joked.

“You get weird around Kurt’s dad?” Sam asked. “That’s so weird. You were so smooth with Quinn’s mom. I just assumed you were like, the Patrick Swayze of meeting parents.”

Mercedes dipped her head in a giggle and playfully thwacked her arm against Sam’s chest, who smiled fondly down at her in return. Kurt subtly raised an eyebrow.

“We’re gonna grab our coffee now,” Mercedes said, still obviously giddy. She waved them off and headed to the line. 

“They’re totally dating, aren’t they?” Blaine asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

Kurt took a small sip from his cup. “Yeah, one hundred percent.”

* * *

Blaine hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Kurt said that day in the Lima Bean, about how this year had been about growing and learning. He’d spent all weekend by his piano, pouring those thoughts onto a page, writing and rewriting and arranging and rearranging until it was something he was actually sort of proud of. 

Come Monday, he stood behind the piano, leaned forward as the rest of the New Directions filed in. Kurt gave him a curious glance, but Blaine just winked back at him in return. 

“Alright,” Mr. Shue began. “First things first.” He held up a small trophy and presented it to the New Directions. “In case you all were wondering, this is what twelfth place overall at a National competition looks like.”

The glee club cheered.

“I’m proud of you guys… Next up, I pass the floor to Blaine here, who has asked for your attention for this final meeting of the year.”

“Thank you, Mr. Shue!” Blaine beamed back at him, then proceeded to round the piano and pick up the stack of copies he’d made. He began passing them out to his teammates as he continued. 

_“Another_ song?” Santana groaned.

“Oh, we sing in glee club,” Blaine sassed her back, lifting his hands and shaking them sarcastically but grinning the entire time. “What a shocker!”

She rolled her eyes, earning a glare from Kurt and a shoulder smack from Quinn.

“So, I know we’re all pretty bummed about Nationals,” Blaine continued. Rachel looked down at her feet, clearly disheartened by the reminder. A few others expressed their dismay. “But someone I love very much made me realize that there are things that matter more than winning or losing.” He looked lovingly over at Kurt, mouth twitching. “I… learned a lot about myself this year. I think a lot of us did. We learned how to stand up for what we believe in, how to fight for what we love. And I know I’m—I’m always striving to be this perfect person I’ve built up in my head, but it took me way too long to realize that I can’t be perfect. None of us are, and the most any of us can really do is try to be better than we were before, to try and make the love in this world a little more _visible._

“So I uh, wrote this song, and there are some harmonies I penned in and uh, feel free to sing along… If you feel inspired to do so.” He moved to take a seat on the piano bench before looking back at his classmates for one final glance. Without Kurt, or Mercedes, or Quinn, or Sam, or the love and support they all unconditionally gave him, or the second home he found in this room, this song wouldn’t have been possible. “I know Mr. Shue said the best songs come from pain but… I think they can come from a place of love, too.”

He and Kurt exchanged secret smiles before Blaine looked down at the keys and started [ playing. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leOEcXNDI1E)

**_I used to think I wanted to be famous_ ** **_  
_** **_I'd be recognized out in a crowd_ ** **_  
_** **_But the funny thing is anytime I've gotten what I want_ ** **_  
_** **_It lets me down_ **

Staring at that minuscule trophy, there was a collective feeling of pride in the room. 

How could something so small represent something so big? Something so much bigger than anyone in that room could really put into words. 

**_I used to think I needed all the answers_ ** **_  
_** **_I used to need to know that I was right_ ** **_  
_** **_I used to be afraid of things I couldn't cover up_ ** **_  
_** **_In black and white_ **

**_Now I just wanna look more like love_ ** **_  
_** **_I just wanna look more like love_ **

Blaine hadn’t really expected anyone (except maybe Rachel… and Kurt, for obvious reasons) to actually join in with the song, but when the entire choir backed him up with the stunning harmonies (that sounded _so_ much better out loud than in his head) he’d written, he felt a lump form in his throat. With a quick breath, he swallowed it back and kept singing. 

**_This whole world is spinning crazy_ ** **_  
_** **_And I can't quite keep up_ ** **_  
_** **_It's the one thing around here_ ** **_  
_** **_That we don't have quite enough of_ ** **_  
_** **_So I just wanna look a little more_ ** **_  
_** **_Like love_ **

The problem with competitions was that the judges only ever saw the “end” result. They didn’t ever see the hard work that went into getting there, the little things that led them to where they were now, the journey—from the very beginning of the glee club to now.

 **_I find the farther that I climb_ ** **_  
_** **_There's always another line_ ** **_  
_** **_Of mountain tops_ ** **_  
_** **_It's never going to stop_ ** **_  
_** **_And the more of anything I do_ ** **_  
_** **_The thing that always ends up true_ ** **_  
_** **_Is getting what I want_ ** **_  
_** **_Will never be enough_ **

They didn’t see the ladies of the Unholy Trinity dealing with their sexualities, the moments of tears and panic that allowed each of them to move forward in this part of their lives. They never saw Sam’s relationship fall apart as he did everything in his power to help his family out, or Blaine struggling and coming to terms with his mental health, or Kurt withstanding some of the worst imaginable things, and only ever responding with compassion and understanding.

 **_So I just wanna look more like love_ ** **_  
_** **_I just wanna look more like love_ ** **_  
_** **_This whole world is spinning crazy_ ** **_  
_** **_I can't quite keep up_ ** **_  
_** **_It's the one thing around here_ ** **_  
_** **_That we don't have quite enough of_ ** ****_  
_**_So I just wanna look a little more_ ** **_  
_** ******_Like love_**

But all of the New Directions did. They _lived_ through it. Anyone who was there from the start of the glee club could see that last year, they came together as a team; this year, they grew alongside each other and learned to love themselves. Even if some of them still had a ways to go, they’d made progress (and anyway, there was still Senior year left to finish the job).

**_Like love_ **

And if all of that boiled down to twelfth place… Well, they were all just fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Blaine's "Original Song": More Like Love by Ben Rector
> 
> I know i said i wasn't gonna get sentimental but that ship has sailed so thank u all for your continued support it means a lot to me that you all read this and your comments and kind words really just bring a smile to my face every time i read them :)


	21. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh god I’m a little bitch I’m crying aight bye
> 
> First of all I wanna give special thanks to Liesadventure, manorchidee, and hkvoyage for commenting on practically every chapter holy crap y'all make my day every time I have nothing but hearteyes for you.
> 
> Thanks to Esperanto who always manages to catch little things I think nobody else will lmao FIC TWINS FOR LIFE!! and BRITNEY YOUR SNAPS GIVE ME LIFE ILY AND THANK U FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
> 
> And also thank you to every single person who commented on this story like BLESS YOU! I was very VERY worried that nobody would read or even be interested in a sequel and the response to this story is legit more than i ever expected, thank you so much.
> 
> Finally, (prepare yourselves bc i am a sentimental man) the biggest most whopping thanks to my Beta, [Adri](https://somefeministtheatrepls.tumblr.com/). I know I say this aaaaaaaaallllllllll the damn time, but this story would simply not be what it is without her cheerleeding, wordsmithing, and just being there in general to support me and help bounce ideas off. There would be no Christmas chapter and tbh probably not a Rumours chapter either without her involvement and guidance on this story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little epilogue! I cried as I wrote it bc I am what the kids call an emo little bitchass. Have fun, I did :)

The roar of the engines from incoming and outgoing planes rang loud over Blaine’s head, and he couldn’t help but think, _Oh god. I’m going to be on one of those soon._

He’d flown to visit Cooper in LA a few times, and of course there was New York for Nationals last year. But that was different. Those times he was coming _back._

“Okay, you’re sure you have your boarding pass?” his mom asked for what must have been the fiftieth time that hour alone.

He held back the urge to roll his eyes in exasperation. “Yes, mom,” he sighed.

“Let me see,” she demanded. Blaine couldn’t help but notice she was being a little more clingy than usual.

“I told you, it’s in the front pocket of my carry—”

“Just let me see it,” she asked again, voice less solid than a few moments ago. “I just want to make sure you have it, because if you don’t have it then you miss your flight and you’d have to stay for just a _few_ _more_ _days_ and…” Her face crumpled despite her obvious efforts to keep a smile on. “And we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

There was half a second of silence before Blaine surged forward, latching his arms around his mother’s waist like he was a child again. With a stuttering breath in, he blinked his tears onto his mom’s soft shirt. “I love you,” he managed.

“I love you, too.”

It all started to sink in for Blaine then. Checked bags with all their essential belongings, teary-eyed goodbyes—they all held a sense of finality, an unspoken truth that nothing would really be the same once he let go. 

Once he left, home would be a dorm. He'd visit his mom for holidays and breaks. His room in Ohio would remain a time capsule representing what he'd left, and he'd be able to come back and visit that time, but everything would be different. Not just for him, but for his mom, too. If only he could hold on just a few more moments, hold on to the present for just a few more seconds until it became his past...

One final reiterated squeeze, and he reluctantly let go, knowing his mom wouldn’t (or couldn’t) be the one to break the embrace.

He pulled away and turned his attention to Quinn, who had been so hesitant to tag along and only did so at Blaine’s insistence. He took one look at her—hands fiddling at the sides of her sundress, her head tilted upwards, pointedly not looking at him, blinking rapidly while pursing her lips—and understood.

“Quinn…” he started. She kept her chin up, and shook her head. “Curly Q.”

“Nope,” she choked, still not looking at him. “I don’t… I don’t do goodbyes, Blaine. Never have, never will, I just… I can’t.”

With a goofy smirk, he reached out for her hands and started tugging at them rhythmically, as he sang in an attempt to cheer her up. _“Never can say goodbye boy, never can say goodbye, no no no!”_

He couldn’t tell if her outburst was laughter or tears until she pulled her hands in, taking him with them, and sobbed into his shoulder. “Oh, I’m going to miss your dorky ass so much.” 

“New Haven is only an hour and a half away,” Blaine tried comforting her, fighting back tears again as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I know, but do you really have to go an entire _month_ early?” she sniffed, pulling away but still not letting go.

“I do if I want to do those NYADA freshman summer programs. Did you know they have one on the theory of composition?”

She snorted, wiping at her eyes with her wrists. “Yeah, actually. My best friend kind of won’t shut up about it. I hear he wants to write musicals or something lame like that. What a loser. I don’t even know why I’m friends with him.” Her smile turned watery again. “You know I love you, right?”

He nodded.

“I don’t… I don’t know what would’ve happened if we-we weren’t friends—how things might’ve been different, for the both of us. I’m really glad we decided to join the New Directions. I’m really glad I met you.”

“Yeah,” he said, voice thin and cracking. “Me, too.”

The sound of gravel crunching underneath thick rubber prompted Blaine to turn his attention to the rest of the drop off zone. A grin cracked his face as Finn’s familiar battered old truck pulled up to the curb.

“Looks like the in-laws are here,” Mary said, still trying for humor through all her tears and—oh. _That’s_ where Blaine got it from.

“Mom.” he groaned. 

“Oh, you know it’s true, Blainey Days,” Quinn agreed. “Old married couple.”

Out from the truck stepped Finn, Carole, Burt, and of course…

“Kurt!”

Kurt was hauling his suitcase out of the bed of Finn’s truck when he heard Blaine’s voice calling his name, the smile in it audible. Before he could even get it steady on the ground, he felt a familiar pair of arms snake around his waist as he turned around, laughing to meet Blaine’s face. 

Blaine greeted him with a kiss and Kurt couldn’t help but smile into it, cupping his boyfriend’s cheek for balance because after all this time, of course Blaine still took his breath away. After a long moment, they pulled away, staring at each other like they could actually find constellations if they tried hard enough.

They were really doing this, Kurt realized. They were going to New York for school together, chasing their dreams together, they made it out of _Lima_ together. The rest of their lives started when they stepped on that plane.

“Wow,” his dad’s voice brought him back to reality. “You’d think Kurt’s returning from the great war,” he commented. “And not that you two’d spent all summer together.”

The heat crawling up Kurt’s neck was definitely from more than just the July sun, and Blaine’s face grew a shade darker as well. The shorter of the boys reached up and rubbed a hand nervously behind his neck. “Sorry, Burt,” he mumbled sheepishly. “I just uh, really love your son. Kurt, that is. Not Finn. Not that you’re not one of my best buds, Finn, but I just mean that I love Kurt in a different way—”

Kurt’s dad let out a hearty chuckle. “It’s alright, kiddo. I know you love him.” Kurt watched his dad press his lips together too tightly. “You’ll take care of each other.” Something inside of Kurt broke at hearing his dad’s voice like that. Steady on the surface, like his dad believed what he said was one of the simplest truths in this world, but wavering underneath, like it hurt to admit.

He all but rammed his face into his dad’s chest, immediately breaking down into a bundle of sobs, sniffing wetly into his dad’s shirt and, god he was probably being so gross right now, but Kurt just didn’t care. 

“I love you, dad.”

His dad’s voice was too rough and too tight when he responded. “Love you, too.” With one final pat on his son’s back, he released him. “Don’t think you’re getting out of here without a hug, Anderson,” Kurt heard his father say as Carole pulled him in.

“You’re going to be just fine, sweetie.”

As Blaine was passed helplessly around by the Hudson-Hummels for his goodbyes, Kurt was at the mercy of his much taller, much stronger brother, who roped him in for a big old bear hug and ruffled the back of Kurt’s hair, just because he knew that was the part hardest to fix. “Finn!” Kurt whined.

Finn just released him and rolled his eyes. “Blaine’ll fix it for you.”

“You’re certifiably insane if you think I’m letting him touch my hair.”

“I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you both.”

Kurt drew in a deep breath. “Thanks… But for the love of god—“

“Grilled Cheesus.”

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

Finn shrugged. “Don’t worry, someone’s gotta help Burt out at the shop.”

Finally, with both of the boys done exchanging their farewells, they stood in front of their intertwined families—both of which had been significantly smaller not so long ago. Three years ago, it had just been Blaine and his mom. Likewise, the only family Kurt had known was his father.

Now, neither of them could imagine life without a single person here.

Blaine drew in a shuddering breath and looked at Kurt nervously, taking his hand. Tossing his empty arm out in question, he asked. “Any final words of advice?”

“Call or text your best friend every single day or she _will_ drive up there just to yell at you for ignoring her.”

“Don’t go to bed angry. I dunno why, but people say that all the time. Might be bad luck.”

“Take nothing for granted—especially each other—because you never know when you might lose it.”

“Nobody pushes the Hummels around. And Anderson, you’re a Hummel, too.”

Blaine looked at his mom. “Mom?”

She just shook her head. “No,” she murmured sweetly. “You’re ready. You two are going to have the time of your lives,” Mary promised. 

“And you know, if you don’t,” Burt said, addressing them both. “If things get scary, or don’t work out quite right, you can always come back.”

They nodded gratefully and taking each other’s hand, started towards the sliding automatic doors.

Neither of them caught Burt’s choked out, “But you won’t…” behind them, or Mary’s reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Kurt turned his head to Blaine. “Ready to go?” He smiled, a little uncertain, but his eyes were lit with excitement and adventure.

Blaine squeezed his hand in response as they walked into the airport together. 

“With you, I think I’m ready for just about anything.”


End file.
